公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E10
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
三个愿望 开始
Three wishes. Go.
好吧 第一个愿望 我要一座有一堆阳台的大房♥子
Okay. First wish? I have a huge house with a ton of balconies.
行 好
Yeah. Okay.
然后我就站在那
And I would just stand out there
检视我的帝国 就像迈克尔贝电影里的毒贩子一样
and survey my empire, like a drug dealer in a Michael Bay movie.
然后我就在外面消磨时间
And I'll just spend my time out there
穿着毛绒浴袍 读着我的iPad 喝着特浓咖啡
reading my iPad and drinking espressos in a terry cloth robe.
第二个愿望
Wish number two.
好 我是Spike TV频道的CEO
Okay. I'm the CEO of the Spike TV network.
我最好朋友/个人助理是奥斯卡得主Jamie Foxx
And my best friend/personal assistant is Oscar winner Jamie Foxx.
我们构建一个基于我们友情的粗俗动画剧集
And we create a raunchy animated series based on our friendship,
名叫"Tommy和Foxx"
called Tommy and the Foxx.
好吧 我们不用再做这个了
Okay. We don't have to do this anymore.
不 不 我现在正享受着呢
No, no. I'm into it now.
第三个愿望 他们重拍《惊爆点》
Wish number three. They remake Point Break.
我两个角色都演 基努的和斯威兹的
I play both roles. Keanu and Swayze.
我觉得你要是坚持多项运动同时训练 就能...
I think if you continue cross-training the way you have, you're gonna...
我没看到你拿食材啊 你买♥♥了食材吗
I don't see any ingredients. Have you bought ingredients?
没
Nope.
你购物需要帮助吗 - 不
Do you need help shopping? - No.
你受伤了吗 你能动吗 - 好得不能再好了
Are you hurt? Can you move? - Never felt better.
Chris 我能买♥♥这些吗
Chris! Can I get these?
我说了只买♥♥一个
I said one thing.
亲爱的
Honey?
风车
Pinwheel.
我们换一个游戏吧 我说一些关于我的事
Let's play a different game. I'm gonna say stuff about me,
你来说 从1到10分
and you say, on a scale from 1 to 10,
你对这件事多感兴趣
how interested in that thing you are.
准备好了吗 - 好
Ready? - Okay.
我爱阳光和新鲜空气还有清晨散步 - 1
I love sunshine and fresh air and early-morning walks. - One.
我读过5本埃莉诺·罗斯福的传记 - 1
I've read five biographies of Eleanor Roosevelt. - One.
我在公园与娱乐部门工作 - 1
I work at the Parks and Recreation... - One.
那也是你的工作 - 1
That's what you do. - One.
我在大学里亲过一个女生
I once kissed a girl in college.
8
Eight.
最后我以最高荣誉的成绩在历史专业毕业
Where I graduated summa cum laude in history.
1 0 负一亿 请别再说了
One. Zero. Negative a billion. Don't talk about it anymore, please.
我爱"食物和东西"
I love Food and Stuff.
我在这买♥♥所有的食物
It's where I buy all of my food.
还有大部分的东西
And most of my stuff.
嘿 我能买♥♥这些吗
Hey, can I get these?
它们多少钱
How much are they?
每个两块
Two bucks apiece.
划算啊
Good deal.
还要别的吗
Anything else?
没了 只有乌鸦和牛肉
Nope. Just the crows and the beef.
所以 对你唯一重要的就是好看吗
So, the only thing that's important to you is hotness?
Wendy Lucy 你在乎的只有她们胸部的形状吗
Wendy? Lucy? All you cared about was the shape of their boobs?
不 我真的喜欢她们 而且她们碰巧也都有美胸
No, I really liked them, and they happened to have nice breasts.
你表现得真是奇怪 你为啥要请我午饭啊
You're acting really weird. What did you even buy me lunch for?
所以你能因为我对女人的品味大吼大叫吗
Just so you could yell at me for what I like about women?
好吧 保证别告诉其他人
Okay. Promise not to tell anyone?
当然
Sure.
这太疯了 但你跟我在印第安纳佳缘网上匹配到了
This is insane, but you and I got matched up on hoosiermate.com.
98%匹配
98% match.
灵魂伴侣级别的匹配
Soul mate-level match.
你想跟我约会啊 这是个约会啊
You wanna date me! This is a date!
这不是个约会 好吗
This is not a date, okay?
你带我来豪华餐厅 你请我吃饭
You took me to a fancy restaurant, you paid for my meal,
你还试着深入了解我
and you're trying to get to know me better.
我只是试着摸索为什么现在只有低级的男人看上我
I was just trying to figure out why only sleazy guys are into me right now.
得了吧 你爱我呢
Nice try. You love me.
*Leslie Knope和Tom Haverford*
Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford
*白天约会 晚上约会*
Dating in the day, dating in the night
*整天约会 因为他感觉很对*
Dating all day 'cause he's keeping it tight
好了 Tom 够了
All right, Tom. Enough.
*在车里约 在地板上约*
Dating in the car, dating on the floor
*在到处约因为她想还想约*
Dating everywhere 'cause she wants some more
嘿 Tom 我刚刚打印了这些健康提示
Hey, Tom, I'm just printing out these health tips.
你能帮我拿过来吗
Can you grab them for me?
一秒钟 我就先看看一些房♥地♥产♥名录
One second. I'm just looking at some real estate listings.
哦 这套完美符合我们啊
Oh, this is perfect for us.
三个卧室 然后...哦天啊 Les
Three-bedroom, and... Oh, God, Les.
它有那个你一直想要的梦幻衣柜
It has that dream closet you've always wanted.
步入式衣柜
A walk-in closet.
哦 天啊
Oh, God.
嘿 嘿 宝 出什么事啦
Hey, hey, boo. What's wrong?
你去哪了 回到我身边嘛
Where did you go? Come back to me.
停下
Stop it.
别玩消失啊 我需要你 宝
Don't disappear on me. I need you, boo.
好吧 我们开始吧 你们的健康提示有什么
All right. Let's get into it. What do you guys have for health tips?
Ben 如果你没问题
Ben, if it's okay with you,
Leslie和我今天来主持会议了
Leslie and I are going to lead the meeting today,
因为我们的精神深度连接了
because of our deep spiritual connection.
好吧 好的 一切都好还是...
Okay. All right. Is everything okay or...
哦 当然 - 行
Oh, yeah. - Okay.
一切都很棒 Ben
Everything is great, Ben.
Les和我今天午饭时发生了一些神奇的事情
Les and I just had something magical happen today at lunch.
这个房♥间里现在有点奇怪的巫术
There is some weird juju in this room right now.
办公室瑜伽
Office yoga.
我们在办公桌上或者桌旁或者坐在椅子上做拉伸
We do stretches at our desk or next to our desk or in a chair.
总是对身体很好的
Always good for you.
我们给每个人发计步器来比赛
We give everyone pedometers and we have a contest.
步数最多的可以得奖
Whoever takes the most steps wins a prize.
一切能让心率上升的都行
Anything to get their heart rate up.
你们知道还有啥能让心率上升吗
You know what else gets people's heart rate up?
做啊
Doing it.
说的是和我的老板上♥床♥
Talking about sex with my boss.
你能稍等一下吗 - 行啊
Can you excuse us for a second? - Yeah.
嘿 我跟你聊两句吗
Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?
让我从椅子上先下来
Let me get off the chair.
嘿... - 你怎么回事啊
Hey... - What is wrong with you?
Leslie 这可是工作场合啊 你现在有点点太激动了
Leslie. It's the workplace. You're being a little bit too feisty right now.
你现在有点点太过混♥蛋♥了 好嘛
You are being a little bit too much of an ass right now. Okay?
别闹了
Knock it off.
我不能再抗拒这种感觉了
I can't fight this feeling anymore.
你和我 我们在约会了
You and I, we're dating.
你简直太幸运了
You should be so lucky.
Leslie - 哈
Leslie. - Huh?
Tom
Tom.
他们该修这个了
They should fix that.
都只是个玩笑而已
It was all just a joke.
我能向你保证 我和Tom之间没有任何浪漫之情
I can assure you, there's nothing romantic going on between me and Tom.
我有一条非常严格的政策 禁止办公室恋情
I have a very strict policy. No office relationships,
尤其是上司和下属之间
particularly between a supervisor and an employee.
纳税人给我们付钱
The taxpayers pay us.
所以我们不能出现任何接近丑闻的事件
So, we can't have anything appearing even remotely scandalous.
我只是说 如果你没法管住嘴的话
I'm just saying, if you can't keep your mouth to yourself ,
我只能让你停职了
I'm gonna have to suspend you.
我理解
I understand.
看 黄瓜花
Look. Cucumber flower.
哇 那也太可爱了
Wow, that's so cute.
等等 那是装饰用的 你不该吃掉的
Wait, that's a garnish. You're not supposed to eat that.
啥
What?
所以 就把我们聊过的打出来
So, just type up those ones we talked about,
然后我们明天就定稿了
and we'll get it finalized tomorrow.
行
Yep.
嘿 Tom - 在
Hey, Tom. - Yeah.
你刚刚和Leslie那些是啥情况
What was all that stuff with you and Leslie?
妹子喜欢印度菜 我还能说啥
Girl likes Indian food. What can I say?
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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