公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E13
Part 4
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
Mmm.
前肉汤是个太棒的阶段 是你最警觉的时候
Pre-broth is an amazing stage. It's when you're most alert.
很好 有人今晚需要警觉一点
Good. Someone needs to be alert tonight.
这个蛇汁基本上就是老鼠药
This Snake Juice is basically rat poison.
每个人都喝醉了
Everybody's wasted.
你根本不知道一件事 我甚至都没说一件事
You don't even know one thing. I didn't even say one thing.
然后她问了我那整个事 然后我甚至没做过一次
And then she asked me the whole thing, and I didn't even do it once.
我就像是个大象 好吧
I'm like an elephant, okay?
如果我走进一个房♥间 那就像 好 他在里面了
If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
我要跟你说 那边那个婊♥子♥...
I'm gonna tell you, that bitch over there...
我要跟...我都不需要...
I'm gonna tell... I don't have to...
Howard Stern 曾在节目上嘴瓢把Babalouie说成Bababooey 后来变成一个梗
巴巴布伊
Bababooey.
音乐关小点声
Turn this music down.
*放屁拉屎还有爱和东西*
Farts and poop and love and stuff
*通心粉沙拉*
Macaroni salad
所有人到齐了吗
Is this everybody?
Ann打车回去了
Ann took a cab.
Tom在后备箱 Jerry在屋顶
Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.
好的 先去哪儿
All right, where to first?
你妈妈的屁♥股♥
Your mother's butt.
我好孤独啊
I'm so alone.
如果你们有一个想在我车里吐
If even one of you thinks about dry-heaving in my car,
所有人都走回家
you're all walking home.
Leslie
Leslie.
我在
I'm here.
我们要去给公共卫♥生♥部♥雇一个新公♥关♥主管
We have to go hire a new PR Director for the Health Department.
我的天 我好宿醉
Oh, my God. I'm so hung over.
我从没这么宿醉过
I've never been this hung over.
我们死了吗
Are we dead?
我感觉很好 我早上跑了五公里
I feel great. I ran five K this morning.
真的吗
Really?
没有 我在浴室里吐了
No, I threw up in the shower.
早上好啊 各位
Top of the morning, everyone.
我买♥♥了点汉堡和薯条
I brought some burgers and fries.
吃掉
Eat up.
蛋白质能吸收糖分
The protein soaks up the sugar.
首先 把牛送到屠宰场
First, you take the cow to the killing floor...
嗯 我没有问题了
Well, I am out of questions.
谢谢 我们会通知你的
Thank you. We will let you know.
然后我们的头就会爆♥炸♥ 我们会死掉
Then our heads will explode, and we will die.
哦我的天
Oh, God.
我不敢相信我和Ann吵了一架
I cannot believe that fight I had with Ann.
你看 我相信你们能化解的
Look, I'm sure you guys can work it out.
我欠她 差不多 一百万个道歉
I owe her, like, a million apologies.
我想我也欠你一个
I think I owe you one, too.
对不起 - 为什么
I'm sorry. - For what?
我不知道
I don't know.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
不 我很伤心
No, I'm sad.
JanLeslie 你怎么这样
由Pawnee公共卫♥生♥部♥门提供
哎呀 多谢了 哥们 - 呃
Say, thanks, chum. - Ugh.
我会把这些纸给您送到的
I'll get those papers delivered for you.
随便了
Whatever.
火速送达
Post-haste.
医生说可能不是什么严重的事情 但有可能是
The doctor says it's probably not serious, but it might be.
哦 Kyle 求你别说话了
Oh, Kyle, please stop talking.
铃啊铃铃 是谁打电♥话♥
Ring-a-ding-ding. Who's calling?
哦 是Janet蛇洞吗 为啥啊 就是啊 她是打给谁呢
Oh, is it Janet Snakehole? Why, yes it is. And who's she calling for?
Bert Macklin先生 我再告诉你一件事...
Mr. Bert Macklin, and I'll tell you another thing...
往下事...往下那个事
Going down thing... Going down the thing.
然后你就走了 你现在走得好快 这个可怜的查理是谁呢
And there you go, you're going real fast now. And who's this sorry charlie?
这包可悲的土豆
This sad sack of potatoes?
亲爱的 拜托 我爱你 无意冒犯
Honey, please. I love you. No offense,
但Bert Macklin昨晚在第十杯蛇汁之后就死掉了
but Bert Macklin died last night after the tenth shot of Snake Juice.
好吧 对不起
Okay, sorry.
蛇洞小姐
Miss Snakehole.
你觉得我会让你那么轻易跑掉吗
You think I'd let you get away that easily?
Bert Macklin可能死了 但我是他的弟弟
Bert Macklin may be dead, but I'm his brother
Kip Hackman
Kip Hackman.
为啥你跟他的姓不一样啊
Why wouldn't you have his same last name?
闭嘴 Kyle
Shut up, Kyle.
我知道你偷了那些画
I know you boosted those paintings.
可能是我 但我永远不会告诉你它们在哪
Maybe it was me, but I'll never tell you where they are.
你也永远得不到我的身体
And you'll never have my body either.
T 你不用担心任何事 为什么呢
T, you don't even have to worry about a thing. Why?
因为我会把那些份额给你捏得紧紧的
Because I'm gonna keep those shares real tight for you.
很好很舒服的
Real nice and cozy-like.
抱歉听到消息 Tom 我们会在酒吧想念你的
Sorry to hear the news, Tom. We're gonna miss you around the club.
嘿 你也有份额啊 为什么Chris没让你卖♥♥
Hey, you own shares, too. Why didn't Chris make you sell?
因为Chris不知道
'Cause Chris doesn't know.
你知道吗
You know what?
告密会有报应的
Snitches get stitches.
Donna 别啊 - 别说
Donna, come on. - Don't.
我是个天生的赚钱机器
I'm a natural moneymaker.
我进政♥府♥就是为了关系
I got into government for the connections.
这应该是带出另一件大事的那个事
This was supposed to be a thing that led to the other thing.
就像范迪塞尔拍《抢钱大作战》
It's like when Vin did Boiler Room.
那将他带去了《极限特工XXX》和《速度与激♥情♥》
That's what led to him being xXx and doing Furious.
...与激♥情♥ 是 我知道
And Furious. Yeah, I know.
听着 我不喜欢这些负面情绪 哥们
Listen, I don't like all this negativity, man.
为啥你不吧那个"皱了个眉""调了个个"呢 哈
Why don't you turn that "frizz-own" "upside-dizzity." Huh?
这太烂了 伙计
This sucks, man.
你穿着滑雪裤啊
You're wearing snow pants.
我昨晚回家后 觉得可能要去滑雪橇
I got home last night, and I thought I might go sledding.
我能进来吗
Can I come in?
可以 安静就行 - 好
Yeah, if you're quiet. - Okay.
Leslie不知道我在这
Leslie doesn't know I'm here.
哦天啊 太高中了
Oh, God. So high school.
不敢相信我和Leslie在酒吧喝醉了吵男孩子的事
I can't believe that Leslie and I got drunk in a bar and fought about boys.
我们比那样强多了
We're so much better than that.
我断断续续的有闪回 想起我们对彼此说的话
I just keep having flashes of things that we said to each other.
她对我太重要了
And she's so important to me.
我表现得太混♥蛋♥了
I acted like such a dick.
我没那么了解你
I don't know you that well,
但你很明显对Leslie很重要
but you're clearly very important to Leslie
所以你肯定是个很好的人
and that must mean you're a pretty great person.
我知道她感觉很不好
I know she feels awful.
我觉得 实际上 我们都是
I mean, technically, we all do.
是啊 蛇汁里到底加了什么鬼 杜♥冷♥丁♥吗
Yeah. What the hell is in Snake Juice, Demerol?
我只知道Leslie总是说有你这个朋友有多幸运
All I know is Leslie's always talking about how lucky she is to have you as a friend.
我只是想让你知道
And I just wanted you to know that.
你很好
You're nice.
我看出来为啥喜欢你了
I can see why she likes you.
她什么时候说...喜欢我
When did she say... Likes me?
哦天 这也太高中了
Oh, God. This is so high school.
租个豪车 请她一起去舞会吧
Just rent a limo, ask her to the prom.
我肯定她会答应的
I'm sure she'll say yes.
好的 谢谢
All right. Thanks.
所以让我理清楚
So let me get this straight.
Tom试着不再吮吸政♥府♥的奶头了 而我们惩罚他
Tom tries to get off the government teat, and we punish him.
这对我来说根本讲不通
That doesn't make any sense to me.
我很抱歉 规定就是规定
I'm sorry. Rules are rules.
我也希望我们能做点什么
I wish there was something we could do.
Ben 我们能做点什么吗
Ben, is there something we can do?
该死 Ben不在这
Damn it. Ben's not here.
Tom没有欺骗谁
Tom's not scamming anyone.
他还没有精明到能那样控制系统的程度
He's not savvy enough to manipulate the system like that.
他只是一个孩子追逐着一个愚蠢的梦想而已
He's just a kid chasing a goofy dream.
抱歉 我也束手无策
I'm sorry. My hands are tied.
Jan Cooper是个糟糕的老婆
Jan Cooper was a terrible wife.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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