公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E09
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
我不会...
I'm not gonna...
是哦
Yeah.
好了 我们上吧
All right. Let's do this.
Ron 你对我和April真的很棒 之类的
Ron, you are so amazing with me and April, stuff.
我爱你 哥们
I love you, man.
愿意做我的伴郎之一吗
Would you be one of my best men?
我的荣幸 孩子
I'd be honored to, son.
Chris 你帮我追回了April
Chris, you helped me get April back.
你愿意做我的伴郎吗
Would you be my best man?
我人生中只要还活着 就不会有更开心的事情了
Nothing else in my entire life would make me happier as long as I live.
Jerry
Jerry.
很高兴你赶上了 这件衬衫太搞笑了
I'm so glad you made it. This shirt is hilarious.
Derek和Ben 你们愿意做我的伴郎吗
Derek and Ben, will you be my best men?
伴郎比赛竞争有点激烈 哈
Got a little competition for the best man, huh?
这样 你知道最棒的伴郎会怎么做的
Well, you know what the best best man does.
打扰一下
Excuse me!
这里有脱衣舞♥女♥吗
Are there any strippers here?
前任脱衣舞♥女♥呢
Former strippers?
非舞♥女♥但感觉有点微醺的呢
Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?
你在搞什么啊
What are you doing?
我在给Andy来个即兴单身派对
I'm throwing Andy an impromptu bachelor party.
这是我作为伴郎的职责
It's my duty as best man.
婚礼还有四分钟就开始了
The wedding's in four minutes.
就是这种负面思考才让你成不了最佳伴郎
It's that kind of negative thinking that makes you a less good best man.
你好
Hello?
嗨 Ann 是Leslie
Hi, Ann, it's Leslie,
公园部的Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope from the Parks Department.
是 我知道 你在哪
Yeah, I know. Where are you?
April和Andy今晚要结婚了
April and Andy are getting married tonight.
什么 - 我也是说啊
What? - Yeah, I know.
我需要你过来 Ann
I need you to get down here, Ann.
我需要你再亲他一次或者亲她一次或者亲个谁
I need you to kiss him again or kiss her or kiss somebody.
我不知道了 Ann 帮我 求你了
I don't know, Ann! Help me, please!
恋爱就像潜水
Relationships are like scuba diving.
浮出水面太快而感到关节剧痛 呼吸困难
你上来太快了 就会得潜函病
If you come up too fast, you get the bends.
我知道这个的原因是
And the reason why I know this
因为我曾经和一个男的约会
is because I was dating a guy once,
我们在潜水的时候
and we were scuba diving,
我在水下告诉他我爱他
and I told him that I loved him underwater,
然后他很快就浮上来了 他就得病了
and he shot up really fast, and he got the bends.
不 Orin 我不知道我会怎么死
No, Orin, I don't know how I'm going to die.
等等 你是在问我还是告诉我
Wait. Are you asking me or telling me?
嘿 我能跟你聊会儿吗
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
可以 拜托
Yes, please.
April和Andy要准备结婚了
April and Andy are about to get married.
哇 我的滤水器滤芯都比他们恋爱坚持得久
Wow. My Brita filter's older than their relationship.
等等 我该换滤芯了吗
Wait a second. Should I change my Brita filter?
我不知道 这得看你的使用频率
I don't know. It depends on how frequently you use it.
是的 - 集中注意 好嘛 拜托了
True. - Stay focused, okay? Please.
重点是两个傻蛋 我都爱的两位
The point is two boneheads, whom I love dearly,
因为考虑不周要准备牺牲他们的未来了
are about to sacrifice their future 'cause they haven't thought this thing through.
而似乎没人在乎这事儿
And nobody seems concerned about this.
注意了 所有人
Attention, everybody.
女士们...先...森们
Mesdames and... Missoirs.
如果您们敬请尽你们的义务有荣幸
If you would do me the obligation of having your honor,
迄今为止 在那边处的那个房♥间 钦此
heretofore, in the room doth right over there, hence.
你说啥
What?
那个房♥间有大事件 15分钟后
Big event in that room, 15 minutes.
哦我的天 真的要发生了
Oh, my God. This is really happening.
我爱April和Andy
I love April and Andy.
我想让他们一直在一起
I want them to stay together.
所以我才要阻止这场婚礼
And that is why I have to stop their wedding.
嗨 伙计们 记得我告诉你们待会儿有惊喜吗
Hi, guys, remember how I told you there was going to be a surprise later?
那 惊喜就是你们不是真的在晚餐聚会上
Well, the surprise is you are not actually at a dinner party.
你们在我们的婚礼上
You're at our wedding.
好嘞 我们来吧
All right. Let's do this.
Simon & Garfunkel - April Come She Will
四月 她将到来
April come she will
溪流如同佳酿 雨水融入其中
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain
女士们先生们 我们今天在此相聚
Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today
是为了见证Andrew Maxwell Dwyer和April Roberta Ludgate的婚姻
to marry Andrew Maxwell Dwyer and April Roberta Ludgate.
我猜我讨厌绝大多数东西吧
I guess I kind of hate most things.
但我看起来真没讨厌过你
But I never really seem to hate you.
所以 我想和你共度余生
So, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
这样行吗
Is that cool?
可以
Yes.
轮到我了吗 - 是的
Is it my turn? - Yes.
"April 你是我一生认识过最棒的人
"April, you're the most awesome person I have ever known in my entire life.
"我发誓保护你远离危险
"I vow to protect you from danger.
"我不在乎我必须要打
"I don't care if I have to fight
"一个终极格斗王 一只熊 或者他
"an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him,
"还是你妈...我会干翻他们的"
"your mom... I would take 'em down."
Andy
Andy.
我现在只是想想就都要疯了
I'm getting mad right now even thinking about it.
我跟你说 - 没事的
I'm telling you. - It's okay.
我想余生的每一分钟 都和你一起
I wanna spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you.
而我是全银河系最幸运的男人
And I'm the luckiest man in the galaxy.
现在交换戒指
And now the rings.
以印第安纳州赋予我的权利
By the power vested in me by the State of Indiana,
我现在宣布你们为夫妻
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
去飞吧
Go fly away.
飞
Fly!
飞啊 - 爱的翅膀
Fly! - Wings of love.
好的 好吧
Okay. All right.
所以那只是死的 我们知道了
So that one is dead. We know that.
你不可能停下他们的 你知道的
You wouldn't have been able to stop it, you know.
我可以吼点啥 或者扑倒谁之类的
I could've yelled something or tackled someone.
但你没有 因为内心深处
But you didn't, because deep down,
你知道其实都没有关系的
you knew it wouldn't have mattered.
那些孩子们就会做他们想做的
Those kids are gonna do what they wanna do.
他们可能刚刚因为一个冲动的决定 把自己生活毁了
They may have just ruined their lives on an impulse decision.
Leslie 我结过两次婚
Leslie, I got married twice.
两次我都比这二位大很多
Both times, I was a lot older than those two.
两次婚姻都以离婚结束...
And both marriages ended in divorce...
还有一个燃烧的雕像
And a burning effigy.
谁能说什么是对的呢
Who's to say what works?
你找到喜欢的某个人 然后就摇骰子吧
You find somebody you like, and you roll the dice.
任何人都只能做到这样了
That's all anybody can do.
等等 你不是结了三次吗
Wait. Weren't you married three times?
哦我的天 你是对的
Oh, my God, you're right.
我得再烧一个雕像了
I get to burn another effigy.
燃烧前妻雕像的关键
The key to burning an ex-wife effigy
是泡在石蜡里
is to dip it in paraffin wax
然后将异丙醇燃♥烧♥瓶♥
and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol
从安全距离投掷
from a safe distance.
别站太近
Do not stand too close
如果要点燃前妻雕像的话
when you light an ex-wife effigy.
我姐姐挺差劲的 但Andy还挺酷
My sister is lame, but Andy's sort of cool.
我猜我有点知道为啥他要和她结婚
I guess I kind of see why he'd marry her.
还有 有人找到件灰色帽衫 我掉了
Also, if anyone finds my gray hoodie, I lost it.
谢谢
Thanks.
说得挺美的
That was beautiful.
你俩让我想起我和我丈夫George
You two remind me of me and my husband, George.
我得搞定演讲
I gotta nail the speech.
所以我请了个专家 Jean-Ralphio
So I brought in an expert. Jean-Ralphio.
我能扔点东西给你吗 看看感觉好不
Can I throw something on you, see if it feels good?
当然 - 好 这是我会做的
Sure. - Okay, this is what I would do.
我会以笑话开始
I would start with a joke.
笑话 引用Vince Vaughn的台词 显然的
Joke, Vince Vaughn quote, obviously.
《摇摆者》还是《婚礼傲客》
Swingers or Crashers?
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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