公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E03

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

It's about life in Pawnee at this moment in time,
而《暮光之城》里没有任何东西对Pawnee是特殊的
and there is nothing in Twilight that is specific to Pawnee.
我不同意好嘛
I disagree, okay?
华盛顿Forks小镇和Pawnee一模一样
The town of Forks, Washington is exactly like Pawnee,
除了气候和吸血鬼
except for the climate and the vampires.
抱歉我只能说不
I'm sorry. I have to say no.
我求你重新考虑
I beg you to reconsider.
我只能请你离开了
And I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
那我只能这么做了
Then I'm gonna have to do this.
他带了手铐整件事都是计划好的
He brought handcuffs with him. This whole thing was planned.
我觉得这事挺酷
I think it's kind of cool.
这不酷这是非法闯入可坏了规矩
It's not cool. It's trespassing, and that is breaking the rules.
酷的人指定规矩他们不破坏规矩
Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules.
如果那些孩子们想让你破坏规矩
And if those kids want you to break the rules,
他们不是你真正的朋友
they're not really your friends.
哇你是在特指谁呢
Whoa, who are you even talking about?
我不知道对不起我只是很烦
I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just annoyed.
但我们既然聊到这个
But while we're on the subject,
你那个朋友 Orin 黑色长指甲和穿斗篷的那个
your friend Orin, with the long black nails and the cloak?
他很让我担心
He concerns me.
他是个天才
He's a genius.
我来搞定这个侵入者
I'll take care of this trespasser.
给我30秒
Give me 30 seconds.
我叫保安就好
I'm just gonna call security.
伙计们能推迟会议一小时吗
Guys, can we push the meeting an hour?
发生什么了
What's going on?
一个家伙把自己铐在我办公室的管子上
Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office
因为我们不愿意在时间胶囊里放一份《暮光之城》
because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
该死又来吗
Damn it. Again?
你看起来很伤心
You look sad.
你看起来是个执迷于儿童书籍的怪咖
You look like a weird goon who's obsessed with a kid's book.
是因为一个女孩吧不是吗
It's a girl, isn't it?
我能看出来
I can tell.
Bella拒绝Mike舞会邀约时他脸上的表情就是这样
It's the look that Mike had on his face when Bella turned him down for the dance.
哦是吗
Oh, yeah? Is it?
你妈意识到自己儿子是个彻底的废物时脸上表情是啥样
What look did your mom have on her face when she realized her son was a complete failure?
好的我闭嘴
Okay, I'll be quiet.
但我知道心碎的感觉你知道还有谁知道吗
But I do know something about heartbreak. And you know who else does?
著名R&B歌♥手
Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds
Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds?
不
No.
一位叫做《暮光之城》作者 Stephenie Meyer的女士
A little lady named Twilight author Stephenie Meyer.
相信我
Trust me.
你应该听他的这些书很好
You should listen to him. Those books are good.
哦我爱任何关于吸血鬼狼人怪物僵尸巫师小兽和时空穿越浪漫史的书
Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties or time-traveling romances.
如果我能和Robert Pattinson独处一小时
And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson,
他就能完全忘了这个细腿妹
he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee.
我跟你保证
I'll tell you that much.
好了兄弟时间到了钥匙给我们
Okay, buddy, time is up. Give us the keys.
他们藏在很远的地方
They're hidden somewhere very far away.
那我们只有把手铐砍断了
Then we're gonna have to cut you loose.
为什么啊我没做错任何事啊
Why? I'm not doing anything wrong.
是的你做错了你是非法侵入
Yes, you are. You're trespassing.
事实是这是完全合法的
Well, the fact remains this is perfectly legal.
不这不合法你是非法侵入
No, it's not. You're trespassing.
我真的不想造成任何麻烦
Look, I really don't want to cause any trouble,
但你们不把《暮光之城》放到时间胶囊里我是不会走的
but I am not gonna leave until you put Twilight in the time capsule.
这个肌肉男风暴兵根本吓不到我
This muscle-headed Stormtrooper doesn't scare me.
继续吧 Artie
Go ahead, Artie.
不不不不不
No! No! No! No! No!
求你了不不不不不不把他拉走
Please! No! No! No! No! No! No! Get him away from me!
我很害怕你
I am very scared of you!
行了好了行了行了行了停下
All right! Okay! All right! All right! All right! Stop.
如果他想呆在这我就让他呆在这
If he wants to stay in there, I'll let him stay in there.
两个小时后他就会又饿又抓狂
In two hours, he's gonna be so hungry and freaked out,
他会求着我...
he's gonna be begging me to...
他带了个枕头
He brought a pillow.
嘿Leslie 我要泡点睡睡茶你要来点吗
Hey, Leslie, I'm making some Sleepytime tea. Do you want any?
周四
嘿哥们醒醒啊大哥
Hey, dude, wake up, man.
哦早啊 Tom
Oh, morning, Tom.
《暮光之城》太屌♥了
Twilight is dope.
我告诉过你了 - 我都放不下
I told you. - I couldn't put it down.
就像她是在窥视我的灵魂
It was like she was peering into my soul.
歌♥唱吧朋友给
Sing it, friend. Here.
第二本《暮光之城:新月》
Book two. Twilight: New Moon.
开始吧
Get cracking.
还有第二本呢
There's a second book?
还有第三还有第四
And a third and a fourth.
不他妈的是吧
No fucking way.
擦得太漂亮了 - 嗯
It's fantastic. - Yeah.
我很努力我把能擦的都擦过了
I worked really hard. I did every pair that I could.
我不知道这双怎么办
I didn't know what to do with these.
我以为它们是手套 - 不不不不
I think they're gloves. - No, no, no, no.
这些是运动凉鞋
Those are sports sandals.
它们是越野跑步赛用的
They are for adventure racing.
它们完美地包住你的脚
They perfectly contour to the human foot,
而人类的脚是终极的技术
and the human foot is the ultimate technology.
老兄这可是我听过谁说过最酷的一句话了
Dude, that is the coolest sentence I've ever heard somebody talk.
所以你爱April 但她有个新男友对吧
So you love April, and she has a new boyfriend, right?
你从一张照片就能看出这么多吗
You got all of that from a picture?
不你昨天告诉我了
No, you told me yesterday.
Andy 我想帮助你把她赢回来
Andy, I want to help you win her over.
为什么我想帮助他呢
Why do I want to help him?
因为他是个好人
Because he's a good person.
我爱好人
I love good people.
嘿你知道谁该穿这些鞋子吗
Hey, you know who should wear these shoes?
猴子
Monkeys.
这可是个有趣的转折啊
Well, this is an interesting turn of events.
是吗我不知道
Is it? I don't know.
我是说我猜还算是有趣吧
I mean, I guess it's kind of interesting.
真正的故事是我们的时间胶囊有多奇妙
What the real story is is how wonderful our time capsule is
它如何完美地囊括了
and how it perfectly encapsulates,
一个我真的觉得你该用的词
a word I really think you should use,
我们镇的生活
what our town is all about.
嘿这个头条标题怎么样
Hey, how's this for a headline?
"公园部受白日梦'管'控"
"Parks Department Foiled by Pipe Dreams."
天这个标题真的不错
God, that's an amazing headline,
但拜托不要写那个故事
but please don't write that story.
打开April心灵的钥匙就在你身上 Andy
The key to April's heart is within you, Andy.
你需要从你性格的各个部分深挖
You need to tap in to the aspects of your personality
曾经吸引她的特质让你自己变成最好的自己
that she once found attractive to make yourself the best version of yourself.
你棒在哪里
What's great about you?
我是好人
I'm nice.
好好人
Good! Nice.
还有什么 - 我在一个乐队里
What else? - I'm in a band.
乐队
Band!
还有什么 - 就这了
What else? - That's it.
我站Edward吗是的
Am I team Edward? Yes.
我和他一样对转变Bella有疑虑吗
Do I share his concerns about turning Bella, though?
当然没有
Absolutely not.
Edward的主要目标一直以来都是保护Bella
Edward's primary goal, at all times, is Bella's protection.
你们拜托拜托能不能安静
Can you please, please be quiet?
抱歉抱歉
Sorry. Sorry.
我们小声点为他人着想
Let's keep it down. Be considerate.
这么看吧 Tom
Look at it this way, Tom.
Bella对Edward的爱在经受考验
Bella's love for Edward is being tested.
被Jacob
By Jacob?
嗯...不完全是
Mmm. Not exactly.
Volturi家族 - 是的
The Volturi? - Yes.
好的你知道吗好吧
Okay, you know what? All right.
我要去会议室办公了