公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E11

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

那个是电视房♥
And that's the TV room.
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
是的挺乱的
Yeah, it's a mess.
你能把那个扔进垃圾箱吗
Can you throw that in the trash can?
我之前来过的啊就在三周前你们的婚礼上
I was just here, like, three weeks ago for your wedding.
发生了什么
What happened?
我不知道啊 Burly搬走了
I dunno, Burly moved out.
他才是那个负责所有打扫和扔东西之类事情的
He was the one that did all the cleaning and throwing away and stuff.
等等他搬出去才一个星期
Wait, he moved out, like, a week ago.
你们一个星期就折腾成这样了
You guys made this mess in a week?
嗯我总是觉得April会打扫的
Well, I always think April's going to clean up.
但我从来不打扫
And I never clean up.
挺可爱的对吧
It's cute, right?
不
No.
是的就是
Yes, it is.
你们在炸♥弹♥珠吗
Are you guys frying marbles?
我们在检查火警警报器能不能用
We were checking to see if the fire alarm worked.
不能用
It doesn't.
挑选完美室友的最大挑战
The biggest challenge to picking the perfect roommate is
是找到一个愿意在不知情的情况下付超份额房♥租的人
finding someone who's willing to pay more than their share of rent without knowing it.
我们觉得Ben有这个资质
I think we found that in Ben.
你忘记画一幅画了孩子
You forgot to paint a painting, son.
所以我的画呢我选择了一个我最喜欢的希腊神话之一
So, for my painting, I chose one of my very favorite Greek myths,
半人马女神Dyaphena 猎杀一只雄鹿
the centaur goddess, Dyaphena, slaying a great stag.
真的很漂亮
It's stunning.
摄人心魄 Jerry
It's breathtaking, Jerry.
是确实是
Yeah. It really is.
哇谢谢了伙计们
Wow. Thanks, guys.
嘿 Leslie 你真的得过来看看Jerry的画
Hey, Leslie, you should really come over here and look at Jerry's painting.
哦天哪
Oh, my God.
那是我吧那是我吗
That's me. Is that me?
啥不是啊
What? No.
哎呀确实看起来像你
Geez, it does look like you.
你现在才意识到吗
You're just realizing that now?
那就是你晚上闭眼的时候看到的啊 Jerry
That's what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry.
裸上半身的Leslie粘在一匹马上
Topless Leslie glued to a horse.
好吧 Leslie 我真的真的抱歉
Okay. Leslie, I am just so, so sorry.
Dyaphena 她是一个强大的女神
Dyaphena, she is this powerful goddess,
我思考了很多强大女性的形象
and I've been thinking a lot about powerful women,
下意识地我就画成了你
and subconsciously, I painted you.
抱歉我会把它撤下来的
I'm sorry. I'm going to take it right down.
不留着吧
No. Leave it up.
我爱这个
I love it.
我不知道怎么解释
I don't know how to explain it.
每次我看到它我自己就想
Every time I look at it, I just think to myself,
"这位半人马女性有什么是做不到的
"What can't that centaur woman do?
"除了坐扶梯和开车以外"
"Besides ride an escalator and drive a car."
艺术可以是如此的壮丽
Art can be so magnificent.
哦天那个宝宝是Tom
Oh, my God. The baby is Tom.
什么
What?
这轻轻松松变成我最喜欢的一幅画了
This is easily my favorite painting ever.
搞什么鬼啊 Jerry
What the hell, Jerry?
看看我的大肚皮我看起来像是个怀孕的宝宝
Look at my pot belly. I look like a pregnant baby.
而且为啥我看起来那么害怕
And why am I so scared?
好了我们要把这个撤下来了就现在
All right, we've got to take this down. Now.
不这幅画哪也不去 Tom
No, this painting isn't going anywhere, Tom.
它就呆在这里你好啊艺术爱好者
It's staying right here. Hello, fellow lover of the arts.
欢迎观看这幅画
Welcome to the painting.
怎么那是你啊
What, is that you?
嗯很性感
Well, it's hot.
谢谢
Thank you.
这家伙也在里面他是那个小胖宝宝
This guy's in it, too. He's the little fat baby.
酷
Cool.
是
Yeah.
这里发生了什么啊
What's going on right here?
婴儿肥吗
Baby rolls?
我们试着报修那个灯已经几个月了
We've been trying to get that light fixed for months.
谢谢你
Thank you.
要谢谢她
Thank her.
早上好 Tom
Good morning, Tom.
今早她大步迈进我办公室告诉我我不搞定她就不走
She marched into my office this morning and told me she wouldn't leave until I got this done.
是嘛
Hmm.
嗯有人感觉良好我很开心啊
Well, I'm glad someone's feeling good.
他们要把那副画挂在公共建筑里任何人都看得到
They're going to hang that painting in a public building where anybody can see it.
只用了一笔 Jerry就谋杀了
In one brush stroke, Jerry has killed
我多年培养起来的Jay-Z风
the Jay-Z vibe that's taken me years to cultivate
而换成了肥胖棕色婴儿风
and replaced it with the fat, brown baby vibe,
这可是没那么酷的风
which is not as cool of a vibe.
嘿阿佛洛狄忒 Chris想在办公室见你
Hey, Aphrodite. Chris needs you in his office.
嗯
Hmm.
修完灯之后修下打印机
When you're done with the light, fix the printer.
我不知道怎么修打印机
I don't know how to fix printers.
学
Learn it.
Leslie 我也该去吗
Leslie, should I go, too?
这事跟你无关 Jerry
This isn't about you, Jerry.
是我的画啊
It's my painting.
为什么我不高兴呢
Why am I upset?
我们开始先说说政♥府♥赞助的动物色情吧
Let's start with government-funded animal porn.
我不确定这么说是公平的
I'm not sure that's fair.
我想让它毁掉我还想让这个办公室出具一份声明
I want it destroyed, and I want a statement from this office
为这个兽♥交♥的淫秽描绘道歉
apologizing for an obscene depiction of bestiality.
兽♥交♥ 这可是一副半人马的图片
Bestiality? It is a picture of a centaur,
一个美丽的半人半马兽
a beautiful half person, half horse.
是怎么变成那样的
And how did it get like that?
谁和什么做了爱生下了啥
Who had sex with what and gave birth to which?
Langman女士我们听到了你的意见我们也理解
Ms. Langman, we hear you, we understand you
我们会尽我们所能找到一种解决方案
and we are going to do whatever we can to come to a solution.
毁掉它
Destroy it.
毁掉它我是说她认真的吗
Destroy it? I mean, is she serious?
你个人觉得这幅画冒犯吗
Do you find this personally offensive?
个人并没有
Not personally, no.
不个人来讲我享受有艺术感的人体描绘
No, personally, I enjoy a good artistic depiction of the human form.
我也尝试过裸体雕塑我也曾作为裸体模特
I've dabbled in nude sculpture. I've posed nude.
在大学时我曾经参演过裸体版的《猫》
In college, I was in a nude production of Cats.
但我现在不是裸体对吧
But I am not in the nude now, am I?
因为我们在政♥府♥大楼里
Because we're in a government building.
这样会是不合适的
And that would be inappropriate,
这就是我认为Marcia正在表达的意思
which is what I think Marcia is saying.
所以处理这个情况
So, take care of this situation.
那副画不会被毁灭的
That painting is not going to be destroyed.
每件伟大的艺术品都包含一条信息
Every great work of art contains a message.
这幅画的信息就是
And the message of this painting is,
"别挡我路不然一箭射你屁♥股♥ Marcia"
"Get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass, Marcia."
早啊室友你睡得怎么样
Morning, roomie. How did you sleep?
嗯没有床上臭虫
Well, there were no bedbugs.
还有也没有床我要去买♥♥张床
Also, no bed. I'm going to go buy a bed.
叉子 - 不好意思
Fork. - I'm sorry.
你们是在飞盘里吃辣椒火鸡吗
Are you eating turkey chili off of a frisbee?
是啊挺可爱的对吧
Yeah. It's pretty cute, right?
不你们知道"可爱"是什么意思吗
No. Do you know what "cute" means?
你对辣椒火鸡当早餐有什么意见
What have you got against turkey chili for breakfast?
你们对洗碗有什么意见
What have you guys got against washing dishes?
我们没有碗好吧
We don't have any dishes, okay?
Burly走的时候全带走了
Burly took them all when he left.
现在你觉得自己像个混♥蛋♥了吧
Now, I bet you feel like a jerk.
天好吧我可能不能再在这住了
God. Okay, I might need to not stay here anymore.
不行抱歉哥们我们已经拿你的钱买♥♥了新的XBox 360
No. Sorry, dude. We already spent your money on a new XBox 360
还有用来吃饭的新飞盘
and more frisbees to eat off of.
你必须呆着了
You've got to stay.
天好吧行吧
God. Okay. All right.