公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E13

Part 1 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

所以是谁搞坏的
So, who broke it?
我没生气我只是想知道
I'm not mad, I just want to know.
是我我搞坏的 Ron - 不不是你
I did. I broke it, Ron. - No. No, you didn't.
Tom - 别看我啊
Tom? - Don't look at me.
看看Ben
Look at Ben.
什么不是我搞坏的啊
What? I didn't break it.
哈真奇怪你是怎么知道它坏掉了呢
Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
因为它就在我们面前然后它坏掉了啊
Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
可疑 - 不没有
Suspicious. - No, it's not.
如果有关系的话...可能没有
If it matters... Probably not.
...但April是最后一个用它的
...but April was the last one to use it.
骗子我根本不喝那玩艺儿
Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
哦真的吗那你早些在咖啡推车旁边干嘛呢
Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
我用木制搅拌棒把长出来的角质层推回去啊
I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles.
所有人都知道的 Jerry
Everyone knows that, Jerry.
好的我们别争了我搞坏的让我来赔吧 Ron
Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ron.
不是谁搞坏的
No. Who broke it?
Ron Donna有点太安静了
Ron, Donna's been awfully quiet.
你来真的啊
Really?
是来真的 - 我的天啊
Yeah, really. - Oh, my God!
是我搞坏的它烫到我的手所以我打了它一拳
I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it.
我预计十分钟之后他们会扭打起来
I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats
脸上涂着征战妆手上拿着猪头棒
with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
很好这里最近有点太亲密了
Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第3季第13集
第3季第13集
我需要你们今晚来蛇洞酒吧帮我点忙
I need you guys to come to the Snakehole Lounge tonight to help me with something.
呃不今晚不行
Yeah, no, tonight's not good.
做不到 - 我在断食
No can do. - I'm on a cleanse.
拜托了这事很重要
Please. This is important.
我正在推出我新的高端的咖啡利口式酒
I'm launching my new high-end, Kahlua-style liqueur,
蛇汁
Snake Juice.
听起来像你拿了条蛇然后拧成抹布
Sounds like you took a snake and twisted it like a rag
直到它的血和内脏都跑出来
until its blood and guts came out.
"咖啡利口式"是什么意思
What does Kahlua-style mean?
我混合了几种酒
I mix a bunch of alcohol together,
加了点糖和咖啡还有其他东西
I add some sugar and coffee and some other junk,
然后尝起来像咖啡利口酒
and it kind of tastes like Kahlua.
我只能喝带辣椒的温开水
I can only drink warm tap water with cayenne pepper.
行那就别喝
Fine. Then don't drink it.
只要让其他人来喝好吧
Just get other people to drink it, okay?
一小时后开会
Meeting in one hour.
如果你赶不上你就上我的没门名单吧
If you don't make it, you're on my Done-zo list.
哦 "没门名单"是啥
Oh, what's a "Done-zo list"?
意思是你和我没门了
It means you and I are done-zo.
出去玩一起吃饭没门
Hanging out, getting food together, done-zo.
你想来我家玩游戏没门
You want to come over to my house and play video games? Done-zo.
嘿 Tom 想跟我打迷你高尔夫吗
Hey, Tom, you want to come play Putt-Putt with me?
不我们没门了
No, we're done-zo.
宝我们得赶上那个会啊
Babe, we got to make that meeting.
我太高兴我们能有空聊天了
I'm so glad we found the time to talk.
感觉已经好久了
It feels like it's been forever.
我知道啊我在医院一直太忙了
I know. I've been so busy at the hospital.
长时间加班通宵值班...我已经很厌倦了
Long hours, overnight shifts... I'm getting sick of it.
好吧我们从个人事务开始 Jessie怎么样了
All right, let's start with the personal stuff. How's Jessie?
谁 - 那个摄影师
Who? - The photographer guy.
哦对我们分手了我没跟你讲吗
Oh, yeah. We broke up. I didn't tell you that?
没
Mmm-mmm.
为啥我挺喜欢他的啊 - 是啊我也是
Why? I liked him. - Yeah, I did, too.
我就是...我搞不定他的脸
I just... I couldn't deal with his face.
哈
Huh.
你觉得我能把借给他的书拿回来吗
Do you think I could get that book back that I loaned him?
呃严格来说我已经出国了
Well, I'm technically out of the country.
所以我只能用一个奇怪的号♥码打给他
So I would have to call him from a weird number.
抱歉 - 没事
Sorry. - Never mind.
但我在约会这个新男的 Mattias
But I'm seeing this new guy, Mattias.
你会爱上他的他是个三重双鱼
You would love him. He's a triple Pisces.
哦哦看来有人开会要迟到咯
Oh-oh. Looks like someone's gonna be late for her meeting.
我跟你比赛
I'll race you.
真的吗那不会很幼稚吗
Really? Isn't that a little childish?
拜 Ann 抱歉得走了嘿闪边哦
Bye, Ann. Sorry, got to go. Hey, move! Oh!
Howser议员抱歉还是很高兴见到你
Councilman Howser, sorry. Nice to see you as always.
拜
Bye.
欢迎来到游击营销策略基础课
Welcome to Guerilla Marketing 101.
什么是游击营销
What is Guerilla Marketing?
几个普通的笨蛋无意冒犯
A few ordinary schmoes, no offense,
在某人身边随意聊一些蛇汁有多棒的话题
have a casual conversation next to some guy about how great Snake Juice is.
接下来就是那个某人点了一整瓶蛇汁
Next thing you know that guy orders a whole bottle of Snake Juice,
甚至还不知道为什么
and he has no idea why.
April 你扮演一个喝啤酒的无聊人士名叫Jennifer
April, you'll be playing a boring beer drinker named Jennifer.
Andy 你也是一个喝啤酒无聊人士名叫Michael
Andy, you are also a boring beer drinker named Michael.
Jerry 你扮演一个喝啤酒的无聊人士
Jerry, you'll be playing a boring beer drinker.
你的名字叫Jerry
Your name will be Jerry.
Ron要扮演我们激动的喝蛇汁的人士
Ron is going to play our exciting Snake Juice drinker,
代号♥是迅雷Brian
A.K.A. Brian Thunder.
你要我们把整个剧本都记下来吗
Do you want us to memorize this whole script?
理想情况是但如果你要自♥由♥发挥
Ideally, but if you want to wing it,
你的讨论点就是 "高端" "VIP" "生活方式"
your talking points are high-end, VIP, lifestyle.
好的我们走一遍剧本
All right, let's run through it once.
开始
And action!
"最近的天气真的好奇怪
"The weather has been so weird lately.
"嘿我给你们都点杯酒吧"
"Hey, let me buy you all a drink."
"我来点基础的东西比如啤酒"
"I'll take something basic like a beer."
"是啊我挺污
"Yeah, I'm pretty
"聊的
"boring.
"所以我也来瓶啤酒"
"So I'll take a beer, too."
"我不要我想让这个晚上哼狂起来"
"Not me. I want this night to get K-razzy."
"轰狂" 就像"疯狂"
"Ca-razy." Like "crazy."
"我想让这个晚上轰狂起来
"I want this night to get crazy.
"给我来杯蛇汁我听说它余味很屌♥"
"Get me a shot of Snake Juice. I hear it has a dope aftertaste."
好吧这边咔一下嗯...
All right, that's gonna be a cut. Um...
Ron 你要像真正相信一样说出来
Ron, you got to say it like you mean it.
我不会公共为一种产品背书
I won't publicly endorse a product
除非我自己专门用过而且真心信任
unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it.
我仅有的官方推荐产品有
My only official recommendations
美国♥军♥方发行的剃须刀
are U.S. Army-issued mustache trimmers,
Morton盐还有C.R. Laurence Fein
Morton Salt, and the C.R. Laurence Fein
两寸斧型剃须刀用振动刀片
two-inch, axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.
我们要给公共卫♥生♥部♥找一个新的公♥关♥主管
We need to find a new PR Director for the Health Department.
Dennis Cooper今天被开除了
Dennis Cooper was fired today.
为什么
Why?
简单地说他疯了
Short answer, he went bananas.
复杂地说他的夫人 Jan 出轨了给他传染了性病
Long answer, his wife, Jan, had an affair, gave him a venereal disease,
所以他在整个市政厅贴满了关于她的海报
and so he put signs about her all through City Hall.
你们肯定都看到了
I'm sure you've seen them.
哦对 - 哦对
Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
"Jan Cooper会给你带来衣原体疾病
"Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia.
"由Pawnee卫♥生♥部♥提供"
"Brought to you by the Pawnee Health Department."
"衣原体疾病影响几乎100%的Jan Cooper们"
"Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers."
"卫♥生♥部♥祝贺Jan Cooper
"The Department of Health congratulates Jan Cooper.
"衣原体小姐"
"Miss Chlamydia."
"Jan 我爱你请回来吧
"Jan, I love you. Please come back.
"我意识到我也不是没有责任
"I realize that I'm not blameless here.
"拜托
"Please.
"由卫♥生♥部♥门提供"
"Brought to you by the Health Department."
"重新选举Jan Cooper 妓♥女♥镇镇长"
"Re-elect Jan Cooper. Mayor of Whoreville."
Leslie 我需要你帮我们选一个替代人选
Leslie, I want you to help us choose a replacement.
公园和卫♥生♥部♥门在户外项目和健身倡议上有密切合作
Parks and Health work closely together on outdoor programs and exercise initiatives.