公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S03E04

Part 1 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.

Ron吗我是Jack Cooper 管♥理♥员♥办公室的
Ron? Jack Cooper, from the Controller's Office.
有空吗
Got a second?
当然我能为你做什么
Sure, what can I do you for?
说实话这有一点点尴尬
Frankly, this is a little awkward.
我们从讨债公♥司♥收到这封信
We've received this letter from a collection agency
说到一笔来自Pawnee公共图书馆的巨额账单
about an outstanding debt from the Pawnee Public Library.
看来你有一本过期图书未还
It appears you have an overdue book.
哦是吗
Oh, do I?
《东西的大小并不重要: 直面阴♥茎♥短小的人生》
It's Not the Size of the Boat: Embracing Life with a Micro-Penis.
是Tammy
Tammy.
我的前妻Tammy经常来试探我
My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often
确保我的生活过得很好
and make sure I'm doing okay.
如果很好她就试着把一切都干翻
And if I am, she tries to fuck everything up.
好的我已经拨了911 直接按拨号♥键就行
Okay, I pre-dialed 911, so all you have to do is press send.
你完全没必要短♥信♥
You're worrying over nothing.
如果她绑住你的手你够不着电♥话♥
If she binds your hands and you can't reach your phone,
就试着咬断绳子逃生
just try to chew yourself free.
低腰裤低腰裤
Whale tail. Whale tail.
她在露低腰裤中止任务中止
She's flashing a whale tail. Abort. Abort.
你好 Tammy
Hello, Tammy.
哦
Oh!
你好 Ron 没注意你进来了
Hello, Ron. I didn't see you come in.
我只是在检查自己的脊柱侧弯
I was just checking myself for scoliosis.
结果呢 - 笔直得像箭一样
And? - Straight as an arrow.
跟某人的那个东西一样
Just like somebody else I know.
牛肉干要吗
Jerky?
别折腾了
Call off the dogs.
你和我都知道我的整个成年生活
You and I both know that in my entire adult life,
从未在图书馆借过一本书
I have never checked a book out of the library.
哦我的天她也太厉害了
Oh, my God, she's amazing.
哦
Ooh!
嗯
Mmm.
我承认曾经有时这种行为会让我疯狂
I admit there was a time when that sort of behavior would've driven me wild.
但我现在在一段健康关系里了 Tammy
But I am in a healthy relationship now, Tammy.
关系和谁啊
A relationship? With whom?
一个可爱智慧冷静的儿科医生名叫Wendy
A lovely, intelligent, self-possessed pediatric surgeon named Wendy.
听起来真是个贱♥人♥
Sounds like a real whore.
消掉记录别折腾了
Clear the late charges and cut the crap.
日安
Good day.
日安 Leslie
Good day, Leslie.
日...日安
Good... good day.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第3季第4集
第3季第4集
好的所以我们一共给他们订了30份披萨
Okay, so we're ordering them a total of 30 pizzas
来讨论口味
so let's talk toppings.
香肠洋葱辣椒
Sausage, onion, and peppers.
科学证明过的最佳口味
Scientifically proven to be the best toppings.
棒
Nice.
我们该加点沙拉作为健康选项
Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?
哇别那么Jerry啊 Ben
Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
是啊 Ben 这些人是警♥察♥ 不是芭蕾舞♥女♥
Yeah, Ben, these guys are cops, not ballerinas.
所以我们要给警♥察♥部门开一个小型宴会
So we are throwing a little shindig for the police department
因为我们想请他们义务承担丰收节的安保工作
because we're asking them to volunteer as security during the Harvest Festival.
我不知道大型户外聚会里到底有什么
I don't know what it is about big outdoor gatherings
让所有人想在所有东西上尿尿
that makes everyone want to urinate all over everything,
但聚会确实是这样
but it does.
人们也是这样
And they do.
好的那披萨饺怎么样
Okay, how about some calzones?
披萨饺就是更难吃的披萨
Calzones are like pizzas but they're harder to eat.
它们很蠢这个主意也是
They're dumb, and so was that idea.
真的吗 - 你这也太尴尬了
Seriously? - This is embarrassing for you.
抱歉打扰了 Ron 准备好了吗
Sorry to interrupt. Ron, are you ready?
当然亲爱的
Absolutely, my dear.
我去和我的女性朋友吃中上午的前午餐了
I am off to have a mid-morning pre-lunch with my lady friend,
但我会准时回来吃午餐的
but I will be back in time for lunch.
好的
All right.
Ron的女朋友挺好看的嘛
Ron's girlfriend's pretty.
Tom的前妻
Tom's ex-wife.
哦
Oh.
我不想看见他们一起就像他们在蹬鼻子上脸
I don't want to see them together. It's like they're rubbing it in my face.
我能想到的就是大胡子船长上我的前妻
All I can think about is Captain Mustache plowing my ex-wife.
那他在上你前妻的时候你会想象他穿着披肩吗
And you imagine he's wearing a cape while he's plowing her?
啥
What?
不是就是你说大胡子船长嘛
No, just, Captain Mustache?
你看如果你只能想到Ron 那...
I mean, if all you can think of is Ron, you know...
可能让他穿上紧身衣和披肩就会很好玩
Maybe put him in some tights and a cape, and then it would be funny.
现在我想象披肩了
Now I'm imagining a cape.
April
April?
你叫我吗
Did you call me?
我确实叫了你耳朵很灵
I did call you. Good ears.
Chris的助手回到印第安纳波利斯了
Chris's assistant went back to Indianapolis,
所以他借我来用几天
so he's borrowing me for a few days.
耶
Yay!
我想让你给我再买♥♥点便签纸我想要多种颜色
I'd like you to get me some more Post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors.
我想要绿色我想要黄色
I'd like green. I'd like yellow.
不用买♥♥橙色
Do not buy orange.
我不想要橙色我有很多橙色
I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.
收到
Got it.
你需要五百万张橙色便签
You want five million orange Post-its.
真好笑
That's hilarious.
哦等等我有张便签给你
Oh, wait! I have a Post-it for you.
上面写着 "干得好"
It says, "Great job!"
嗯...
Mmm...
干得好 - 嗯...
Great job. - Mmm...
这就对了
There you go.
"救命"
他们真的变老了我又是个独女
They're getting really old, and I'm an only child.
我觉得正确的选择就是搬回家住
I just feel like the right thing to do is to move back home.
你走了我很难过
I'm sorry to see you go.
我真的开始把你当做是...
I've really come to think of you as
伴侣了
a companion.
嘿我觉得你应该不会想搬去加拿大吧
Hey, I don't suppose you'd want to move to Canada?
加拿大
Canada.
不我觉得我不会去
No, I don't suppose I would.
嘿我不想唠叨
Hey, I hate to nag,
但我们不是该讨论策略
but shouldn't we be talking strategy,
比如什么时候找局长提这个巨大关键的要求呢
like, when to ask the chief for this huge critical favor?
是的我准确知道我们要提的时刻
Yes. I know exactly when we should do it.
吃完披萨没吃冰淇淋第三到第四杯啤酒之间
Post-pizza, pre-ice cream, between his third and fourth beer.
他吃饱了但又没撑微醺但又没醉
He'll be full but not stuffed, tipsy but not drunk.
大概9点左右
Should be around 9:00.
好的所以你已经想清楚了
Okay, so you've thought this through.
坐稳了我给你来杯啤酒
Just sit tight. I'll get you a beer.
两杯啤酒谢谢
Can I have two beers, please?
嘿你还好吗
Hey, you okay?
Wendy和我结束了
Wendy and I are over.
她要搬回加拿大了
She's moving back to Canada.
真可惜
It's too bad.
我刚刚教会她怎么削木头
I just taught her how to whittle.
她给我做了这根小小的尖棍子
She made me this tiny sharpened stick.
听着我要跟你说我的女朋友们被甩的时候跟她们说的话
Look, I'm gonna tell you what I tell all my girlfriends when they get dumped.
男人都是狗
Men are dogs.
谢谢 Leslie
Thank you, Leslie.
这句完全不符合这种情况
That does not apply to this situation at all.
但谢谢我很感激
But thank you. I appreciate it.
这可太糟糕了
This is a disaster.
你不喜欢足球啊
You're not into football?
我就知道你有点什么问题
I knew there was something wrong with you.
我就知道我就知道我就知道我就知道