公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S03E11
Part 4
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:45 a.m.
是啊 但上面有奶头
Yeah, well, there are nipples in it,
所以看起来我们应该安全处理 摧毁它
so it just seems like we ought to be safe and destroy it.
好的 这是一个成年人类需要的事务和物品清单
Okay. Here is a list of errands and things that human adults need.
还有 我提前把下个月的房♥租也给你们了
Also, I'm giving you an advance on next month's rent.
我需要你们去Bed Bath & Beyond把列表上所有东西买♥♥回来
And I want you guys to go to Bed Bath & Beyond and buy everything on that list.
或者我们可以买♥♥一台Wii
Or we could buy a Wii.
你们能处理好的
You can handle this.
我也不知道啊 哥们
I don't know, man.
为什么你不去做呢
Why don't you just do it?
不 我做不了 我 我...有个约会
No, I can't. I-- I... Have a date.
哦 他叫啥啊
Ooh, what's his name?
实际上不是...
It's actually not--
呃 Chris介绍的 无所谓了
uh, Chris set it up. Never mind.
重点是 按这个清单做 你们能做好的
The point is, stick to the list, and you'll do great.
我完全相信你们
I have total faith in you.
有大概 30%的概率他们都会挂掉吧
There's, like, a 30% chance they'll both die.
所以你想怎么处理这个
So how do you want to do this?
公开烧掉还是私下烧掉
Burn it publicly or burn it privately,
然后我把视频放在博客上还是...
and I put the footage on my blog or...?
你已经表达清楚了 好吗
You've made your point, okay?
你看 这幅画对我很重要
Look, this painting is very important to me.
它不需要挂在政♥府♥大楼里
It doesn't need to hang in a government building.
就让我带回家 我自己保存
Just let me take it home, and I'll keep it there.
你觉得如何
What do you say?
我觉得这幅画要被烧掉
I say this painting is going to burn--
先是在这 然后在地狱
first here, then in hell.
我需要验证这个吗
Do I need to get this validated?
我不-我不知道 - 不知道吗
I don't-- I don't know. - No?
好的 那好
Okay, then, great.
我就把我的车停过来 你放后备箱就行
I'm just gonna pull my car around, and you can load it in the back.
不
No.
嘿 回来 - 来啊雄鹿 我是Dyaphena
Hey! Come back here! - Make me, stag! I am Dyaphena!
这个地方也太棒了
This place is amazing.
哦我的天 他们有做冰果子露的东西
Oh, my God, they have a thing that makes sherbet.
我们需要五个
We need five of those!
不 我们只能买♥♥清单上的东西
No, we need to stick with what's on the list.
首先是 烤箱手套
First things first, oven mitts.
烤箱手套在哪啊
Where are the oven mitts?
哦我的天 他们有电视购物同款的所有东西
Oh, my God. They have all the As-Seen-On-TV stuff!
不是吧 - 摇动哑铃 挂门单杠...
Nuh-uh. - Shake weight, Iron Gym...
神奇手部修复 大顶饼干
Miracle Hand Repair, Big Top cookie,
枕头宠物 食物捣碎机 - 亲爱的
Pillow Pet, Slap Chop. - Honey.
哦我的天 - 亲爱的 亲爱的 听我说
Oh, my God. - Honey, honey, listen to me.
全买♥♥了
Get it all.
现在把所有我们在电视上见过的东西都扔进这个购物车里
Grab everything that we've seen it on TV and put it in this cart right now.
钢铁健身房♥ 我会变得很强壮的
Iron gym-- I am gonna get so buff.
哦我的天 棉花糖枪
Oh, my God. Marshmallow shooter.
棉花糖枪 买♥♥两把
Marshmallow shooter! Get two.
等等 魔力子弹搅拌机呢
Wait, what about the Magic Bullet?
买♥♥ 我也见过那个
Yeah. I've seen that.
哦 嗨 - 嗨
Oh, hi. - Hi.
我在附近开了个会
I was at a meeting around the corner,
然后有些人想要毁掉这幅画
and some people wanted to destroy this painting,
所以我就带过来了
so I brought it here.
Andy和April去那了
Where's Andy and April?
他们去买♥♥东西了
They're out shopping.
你在这干什么 - 我搬进空房♥间了
What are you doing here? - I moved into the spare room.
真的吗
Really?
是啊 - 这样啊
Yeah. - Huh.
我能进来吗 - 能 能 必须的 当然的
Can I come in? Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Of course.
他们为什么要毁掉这个
Why do they want to destroy it?
呃 这是一幅我的半人马像
Well, it's a painting of me as a centaur.
好吧 - 而且是裸的
Okay. - And it's a nude.
哦
Oh.
基本上 就是 胸部这一块区域
Just basically, like, the "chestal" region.
嗯哼 - 大部分
Uh-huh. - Mostly.
你不想看的话不需要看
You don't have to look at it if you don't want to.
不不不 - 很有品味的
No, no, no. - It's very classy.
是 我肯定它是
Yeah, no, I'm sure it is.
唉 是Chris 我得接
Oh, man. It's Chris. Got to take this.
好 - 嗨 Chris
Okay. - Hi, Chris.
Leslie Knope 你得把那副画拿回来
Leslie Knope, you need to bring that painting back.
什么画
What painting?
Leslie 画在你那儿 你需要拿回来
Leslie, you have the painting, and you need to bring it back in.
我觉得我对你已经很公平了
I think I've been pretty fair with you.
而我现在开始觉得生气了
And I'm starting to feel angry.
我不喜欢生气
And I don't like feeling angry.
我的心跳加快了
My heart is racing.
真的已经每分钟45下了
It's going literally 45 beats a minute.
对不起 我只是想向你解释一下我的观点...
I'm sorry. If I could just explain to you my point of view--
你明早把那副画带过来交给Marcia Langman
You will bring that painting in tomorrow morning and surrender it to Marcia Langman.
就这样了 你明白我的意思吗 女士
And that's that. Do you understand me, madam?
是的
Yes.
美甲套装
Manipedi.
我们在干嘛
What are we doing?
Ben跟我们说的东西我们一个也没买♥♥
We didn't get a single thing that Ben told us to.
我们当然买♥♥了 我们买♥♥了那个棉花糖枪
Sure we did. We got the Marshmallow shooter.
那...我觉得那个不在清单上
That's-- I don't think that's on the list.
但我想要 - 我也想要
But I want it. - I want it too.
但我也有点想要我自己的叉子...
But I also kind of want my own fork...
因为你吃得真的很慢
Just 'cause you eat really slow,
很可爱 但也超级烦人
which is cute, but also super annoying.
好吧 - 怎么啦 出什么事了
Fine. - What? What's wrong?
没事 就是成年人很无聊 我讨厌他们
Nothing. It's just adults are boring, and I hate them.
我不想买♥♥这些蠢死的 无聊的 成年人的东西
And I don't want to buy all this stupid, boring, adult stuff
成为无聊的成年人
and become boring adults.
嘿 听我说
Hey, listen to me.
是的 我们要买♥♥盘架 浴帘 和砧板
Yes, we're gonna get a dish rack, and shower curtains, and a cutting board.
但如果你迟疑了一秒钟 觉得我不会也把棉花糖枪买♥♥下来
But if you think for one second I'm not also gonna get that marshmallow shooter
所以我就能在你睡着时朝你脸上打棉花糖
so that I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you're asleep, then
那你就是我认识的最蠢的女人
you're the dumbest woman I know.
你要让我哭了
You're gonna make me cry.
你是个冷静的人 我现在该怎么做
You're a levelheaded person. What do I do here?
呃 我也不知道
Well, I don't know.
我觉得 政♥府♥的基本规则之一是你不该冒犯他人
I mean, it is one of the basic rules of government that you shouldn't offend people.
是啊 我猜你是对的
Yeah. I guess you're right.
我就是...我最近被这些规矩搞得很烦
I just-- I'm so annoyed by all these rules lately.
我们回来了
We're back here.
我也是 - 哈哈
Me too. - Ha ha.
嘿 Leslie 你来这干什么啊
Hey, Leslie. What are you doing here?
嘿 呃 这个 我偷了幅画
Hey. Um, well, I, um, I stole a painting.
然后 呃 我希望你们能帮我把它藏起来
And, um, I was hoping you guys would help me hide it.
我喜欢这个 很简单
I like it. It's very simple.
不 画在另外一边
No, it's on the other side.
我的天 是你画成裸体马的样子吗
Oh, my God. Is that you as a naked horse?
看起来像我吗 我都不...
Does it look like me? I don't even--
Leslie 我觉得 不是故意冒犯之类的
Leslie, I mean, not to be inappropriate or anything,
因为你是我的老板也是我的朋友
'cause you're my boss and my friend,
但这个我绝对能上
but I would totally hit that.
我也是 - 你们嘴真甜
So would I. - You guys are sweet.
好吧 我该带着这个上路了
Okay. I should go and hit the road with this.
然后... - 好吧
And, um... - Okay.
回头见 - 拜
I'll see you later. - Bye.
拜 Leslie
Bye, Leslie.
所以你们怎么样了
So how'd we do?
我不知道 这能回答你的问题了吗
I don't know. Does this answer your question?
不能 你们买♥♥盘子了吗
No. Did you buy plates?
哦对 盘子
Oh, plates.
Leslie 你在干什么
Leslie, what are you doing?
跟Dyaphena说再见吧
Say good-bye to Dyaphena.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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