糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E11
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:18 p.m.
什么 你们也是
What? You, too?
接着又有虱子和饥荒
Then there's the lice and the starvation.
但我还以为你们能救我们 我们
But we thought you'd be our salvation. Us?
不 我们以为你们能 现在怎么办
No, we thought you would. Well, what are we going to do?
估计我们只能等第三舰队了
I guess we'll just have to wait for the third fleet.
我刚想这么说 真奇怪
I was just going to say that. How weird.
去澳大利亚的漫长路途难以忍♥受
The long journey to Australia was tough going
船上的情况恶心极了
and conditions on board ship were disgusting.
老鼠们肯定爱死了
So, the rats must have loved it!
登陆后的情况更糟糕
And things got even worse when you arrived.
没错 在乔治时代
Oh, yes, in Georgian times,
真心没人想去澳大利亚
you really wouldn't want to go Down Under.
[恶搞凯莉·米洛的歌♥曲I Should Be So Lucky
和Can't Get You Out of My Head]
英国乔治时代*
*In Britain's Georgian times
实在太多罪犯*
*There were so many crimes
没时间绞死每个扭曲重刑犯*
*No time to hang each crook guilty of a felony
因为没地方关押你*
*Cos there's no room to jail you
都被送到澳大利亚去*
*They'd send you to Australia
住在最新刑罚殖民地*
*To live in our new-fangled penal colony
以为听起来像是天堂*
*Think that sounds like heaven
1787年 绝不是一生值得去的地方*
*In 1787, it wasn't that kind of "Once in a lifetime" trip
第一舰队出发*
*First fleet took the journey
数月海上颠簸*
*Months at sea so churny
途中死去40多人*
*Over 40 died while they were on the ship
活下来的很勇敢*
*Those that lived were plucky
勇敢 勇敢 勇敢*
*Plucky, plucky, plucky
船上挤满老鼠和害虫*
*Crammed on board with rats and vermin
床上还有蟑螂*
*Cockroaches in bed
舱内臭气熏天*
*Stench inside was sicky
人人恶心翻天*
*Yucky, yucky, icky
虱子超级讨厌 它们无处不在*
*Lice not very nice, can't get them out of my head
登陆博特尼湾*
*Landed Bay of Botany
罪犯苦不堪言*
*Convicts' life was rotteny
急需食物住所 但是一无所获*
*Needed food and shelter but everything failed
树木强壮难砍*
*Trees too strong for felling
污水污秽难闻*
*Stagnant water smelling
新南威尔士 历史在倒♥退♥*
*A real step back in time in New South Wales
水土流失洪水泛 小屋一去不复还*
*Soil too poor for budding Huts washed up by flooding
一片雄心建家园 无疾而终人心散*
*Plans for building houses came to sticky ends
屋漏偏逢连夜雨 一语不合动干戈*
*The best of all their labours, attacked by local neighbours
当地土著把人欺 强龙难压地头蛇*
*And that is when your neighbours don't become good friends
形势危急 危急 再危急*
*Situation tricky Tricky, tricky, tricky
第二舰队驰援 不幸搁浅半途*
*Then a second fleet of ships was due aground
虽得侥幸脱困 偏又疾病蔓延*
*Some thought this was lucky but illness had strucky
一半非死即伤 余下生病发烧*
*Half were dead or ill, fever was spinning around
赎罪之旅整七年*
*After seven years, convict record clears
返程却还需自费*
*Just one catch You got to pay your own way back
苦力没钱没出路 柳暗花明又一村*
*No wages meant no money No choice, but what's funny
扎根基层做农民 丰衣足食苦耕耘*
*Many stayed, became farmers and made a stack
先人种树后人收 沧海横流显英雄*
*Original arrivers, proved hardy survivors
如今悉尼好风光 人人翘首皆向往*
*Sydney turned into a place you'd choose to go
昔日苦为阶下囚 为人嫁衣岂心甘*
*Think that they'd be fairer，to convicts who were sent there
关人还需不毛地*
*No way - they built prisons even more remote
亚瑟港口把人囚*
*Port Arthur was one of the jails
高墙深锁无人逃*
*Where every escape attempt fails
比利·亨特几成功*
*Was one man who nearly got through
欲扮袋鼠越监牢*
*Billy Hunt dressed as a kangaroo
狱友牢底已坐穿 境遇依旧难难难*
*Inmate's life still sucky. Sucky, sucky, sucky
高墙之内不堪言*
*Life behind bars was not very nice
肮脏丑恶不难猜*
*Hideous and messy Who would ever guessy
当年藏污纳垢*
*This hellhole would become a...
如今度假胜地*
*Holiday paradise
可悲的二战
首相 内维尔·张伯伦
刚从慕尼黑回来 德国咖喱肠很赞
Back from Munich. Very nice currywurst.
和希♥特♥勒♥相谈甚欢
Oh, and good meeting with Hitler.
英德无战事
I think it's 'peace for our time'.
这就发送
Just send that.
来自国王乔治六世
回复得真快 "干得漂亮"
Oh, responses already. "Well done".
来自坦布里奇韦尔斯的莫里菲尔德
来自蒂姆·史密斯
"真是好消息"
"Wonderful news".
来电: 温斯顿·丘吉尔
是温斯顿·丘吉尔
Hmm, Winston Churchill.
肯定是来向我道贺的
I bet he wants to congratulate me, as well.
你疯了吗
Have you taken leave of your senses?
那啥 我可是刚让国家免于战争
Hello. I think you'll find I've just averted another world war.
希♥特♥勒♥和咱们签署了和平协议
Hitler has signed this piece of paper
还说如果把苏台德给他
saying that if we let him have the Sudetenland,
慕尼黑协议
他就会承诺停止扩张
he promises not to expand into any other countries.
高歌♥地图 红色为苏德台地区
你不能相信希♥特♥勒♥ 他已经强迫
You can't trust Adolf Hitler. He's already forced Austria
奥地利臣服于德国 另外他的小胡子真丑
to unify with Germany, plus he has a ridiculous moustache.
www.给我的鼻胡打分吧.com
斯大林
希♥特♥勒♥说没人想再来一次世界大战
Hitler says no-one wants another world war,
就算德国也不想
not even Germany.
负分 滚粗
友情推荐姊妹网站www.给我的鬓须打分吧.com
我是说 德国输了一战
I mean, they lost the first one.
他们应该不想再来一仗
And it's not as if it's best of three, is it?
绥靖政策应该是明智之举
Appeasement is the right choice.
战争才是明智之举
War is the right choice.
希♥特♥勒♥正准备发动闪电战 记住我的话
Hitler is planning an invasion, mark my words.
随你怎么说
Whatever.
这是什么
Oh, what's this?
点击一下链接www.大众点侵.com
捷克斯洛伐克侵略战之推荐
Invasion advisor review of Czechoslovakia
阿道夫·希♥特♥勒♥
by A.Hitler33
有点担心啊
Slightly worrying.
我们非常高兴可以占领这个美丽
"Delighted we chose to invade this beautiful
而又政局不稳的国家
"And politically unstable country.
如你身临其境的话 一定觉得出兵是值得的
"Definitely worth invading, if you're in the area."
你有新短消息: 早就告诉过你
别慌 内维尔
Oh! No need to panic, Neville,
不少类似的侵略推荐都是假的
a lot of these invasion advisor reviews are fake.
当然了 最好还是看看咱们的盟友名单
Still, better just check who's on our side,
www.盟军天地.com
以防万一
just in case.
盟军天地 最好的国家社交网络平台
不错 还可以
Good, good.
实时动态:德意签署同盟协议
见鬼
What?!
纳粹德国和意大利法♥西♥斯♥结盟了
Nazi Germany has allied itself with fascist Italy?
你有新短消息:难道我没告诉过你
拉倒吧 赶快多找几个国家来结盟
Oh, no, better make some more allies quick.
波兰请求结盟 太棒了
Ah! Poland, perfect.
同意结盟并提供保护
We'll agree to protect them.
同意结盟
也许战后他们可以派一些
Maybe in the future they'll
廉价建筑工人来回报我们
repay us with reasonably-priced builders.
来电: 温斯顿·丘吉尔
不会又是他吧
Oh, not again.
别...别说那句话
Do... Don't say it.
早和你说过了
Told you so.
我正在扩大我们的盟友阵营
Look, I'm strengthening our alliances.
新的结盟请求
给苏联的结盟请求
已经和波兰结盟了 还在等苏联
I've already got Poland. I'm waiting for Russia to, er...
什么 我们才不要卷入战争
What? "We're not getting involved."
-我的亲 -这算什么意思
- Oh, dear. - What's the problem with that?
这说明德国
Well, it means that Germany
在德苏边境没有后顾之忧了
doesn't have to defend its Russian border.
这下他们可以专心对付我们了
They can throw all of their troops in our direction.
你干什么呢
What are you doing?
致军方首脑:准备开战
没干什么 希♥特♥勒♥承诺过
Erm, nothing, nothing, look, Hitler promised.
他不可能去...
There's no way he's going to...
互联网消息
不可能去侵略我们的新盟友 波兰
Invade our new ally Poland?
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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