糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E05
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
But make sure they're strong and fit
否则就要扔到山上等死
or else they're left on a mountainside to die.
不附赠山
Mountainside not included!
斯巴达女孩和全新斯巴达宝宝现已开售
Spartan Girl and all-new Spartan Baby available now.
能拿回我漂亮的娃娃吗
Can I have my pretty dolly back?
不行
No.
你想被扔到山里吗
Do you want to be left out on a mountainside?
这就对了
That's better.
华丽的乔治王朝
一扇紧锁的铁门 一间狭小的囚室
A locked door, a prison cell
还有一名绝望的囚犯
and a desperate prisoner,
孤注一掷 准备越狱
hell-bent on breaking out.
那只能意味着一件事
That can only mean one thing.
您正在收看《历史版胜利大逃亡》
You're watching History's Greatest Escapes.
历史版胜利大逃亡
我是加里·查布 不远万年
I'm Gary Chubb and I've come all the way
1716年 伦敦塔
来到1716年的乔治王朝
to the year 1716 in the Georgian era
见证这一逃脱的壮举 如此的无所畏惧
to witness an escape so audacious...
如此的激动人心 如此的扣人心弦
So dramatic, so breathtaking...
抱歉 能把他叫醒吗
Sorry, can we wake him up please?
太破坏我营造的氛围了
It's just completely going against what I'm doing.
历史版胜利大逃亡
尼斯戴尔勋爵
So, Lord Nithsdale.
苏格兰叛军一员
告诉我们你被囚禁在伦敦塔的原因
Tell us how you ended up imprisoned here in the Tower Of London?
我参与了詹姆斯二世党起义
I was involved in the Jacobite Risings
企图在英格兰
trying to return the Stuart bloodline
复辟斯图亚特家族的血脉
to the English throne.
但我被抓了 乔治国王
But I was caught, and King George,
对那些想加害于他的人深恶痛绝
who is really touchy about people trying to kill him,
于是就把我关在了这里
threw me in the Tower.
我明天就要被处决了
I'm due to be executed tomorrow.
那你准备怎么逃出去
So what we thinking escape-wise?
正面袭击守卫
A frontal assault on the guards,
撬开铁窗
levering out the window bars
还是经典方法 在墙根挖隧♥道♥
or the classic tunnel under the wall thing?
都不是 这里是伦敦塔
None of the above. This is the Tower Of London.
根本不可能越狱
Escape's impossible.
我打算晚餐吃顿美味的鸡肉饭
I thought I'd just have a nice chicken dinner,
睡会觉 然后
a wee sleep and then...
好吧
Right.
但是节目组的人跟您夫人聊过
Yeah, it's just, um, someone from our show spoke to your wife
她说你会越狱
and she assured us there'd be an exciting escape attempt.
而且我为了这期节目 把法国之行给缩短了
Also I've cut short a holiday in France for this.
你有五分钟会面时间
You've got five minutes.
-亲爱的 -宝贝
- Darling! - Snookums!
抱歉 我是威妮弗蕾德 他的妻子
Sorry, I'm Winifred, his wife.
这么说越狱计划还在进行中
Oh, right, so the escape attempt's still on, yeah?
-是的 -太棒了 那计划是什么
- Oh, yes. - Great, so what we thinking?
炸毁这面墙
Blow down this wall
然后派出神秘忍♥者对付惊慌失措的守卫
and let loose your secret ninjas on the panicked guards
你俩趁机跳到200英尺下的冰河逃走
while you two leap 200 feet into the icy river below, yeah?
-不 我准备让他男扮女装 -好吧
- No, I'm dressing him as a woman. - Right.
有个节目叫《世界最愚蠢之越狱》
There is a show called World's Stupidest Escapes.
-我可以给你他们的号♥码 -姑娘们开始吧
- I can give you their number if you like. - Ladies, get to work.
听我说 我告诉守卫 我和朋友们
You see, I told the guards that my friends and I
尼斯戴尔伯爵夫人 越狱策划者
想来跟我的丈夫告别
wanted to come and say goodbye to my husband,
我赌他们不会数有多少人进了牢房♥
banking on them not counting how many of us came into the cell.
还穿束腹衣
Corset.
我们给他穿上女装
We dress him up as a woman,
越狱计划确实如此
假装他是其中一个姑娘
then we sneak him out in the middle of the group,
混在中间偷偷溜出去
just like he's one of the girls.
亲爱的 你真美
You look lovely, snookums.
明明很滑稽
I look ridiculous.
看好了
Watch this.
一会见
See you later.
好吧 你的丈夫逃出塔了
All right, so... your husband's clear of the Tower,
但是你打算怎么出去
but how are YOU going to get out?
小菜一碟
Easy.
好了 我想自己待一会
Anyway, I think I need to be alone now,
好专心祷告
so I can do a nice wee pray.
她真的模仿自己丈夫的声音
亲爱的 我完全理解
I understand completely, my lover.
来生再见
Erm, see you in the next life, bye.
我们告别了 但是拜托你
We've said our goodbyes, but I beg you,
请不要打扰我丈夫的临终祷告
please don't disturb my husband's final prayers?
当然了 尼斯戴尔伯爵夫人
Yes, of course, Countess Nithsdale.
谢谢
Thanks.
虽然计划听起来不靠谱
Well, it didn't sound like much of a plan,
但是越狱非常成功
but what an escape that was.
越狱成功
下期《历史版胜利大逃亡》
Next time on History's Greatest Escapes,
我将回到中世纪 见证亨利一世的女儿
I'll be in the Middle Ages with Matilda,
马蒂尔达的越狱
daughter of Henry I,
暴风雪中她身穿白袍
who'll be trying to escape from Oxford Castle in a snowstorm
逃出牛津城♥堡♥
by wearing nothing but white.
酷毙了 下期再见
Yeah, pretty cool. I'll see you then.
如果我能离开这座塔的话
If I can work out how to get out of this Tower.
没问题
No probs.
请让我出去
Excuse me, can you let me out please?
-闭嘴 尼斯戴尔 -我不是尼斯戴尔
- Shut up, Nithsdale. - No, I'm not Nithsdale.
笑话 你以为我们傻啊
Yeah, right. Do you think we're all stupid or something?
我是电视台的人
I'm from the television!
放我出去 我是电视台的
Can you let me out, please? I'm from the television!
乔治时代的另一次离奇越狱
Another extraordinary Georgian escape attempt
是1789年法国大革命期间
was when Louis XVI of France and his wife
法国国王路易十六和王后玛丽·安东尼特
Marie Antoinette tried to escape Paris in
计划乔装逃出巴黎
disguise during the French Revolution of 1789.
但是哪里出问题了
But what went wrong?
A 护卫背叛了他们
A: Their guards betrayed them
B 人们对照硬币上的头像认出了国王
B: The King was recognised by his face on a coin!
C 他们的马车爆胎了
C: Their coach got a flat tyre
答案是
The answer is
B
B.
人们对照硬币上的头像认出了国王
The King was recognised by his face on a coin
国王一行被俘 最终被处决
They were captured and eventually executed.
恐怖的都铎王朝
都铎野生动物杂♥志♥
Tudor Wildlife Magazine,
动物和鸟类爱好者的必备杂♥志♥
it's the new must-have magazine for all animal and bird enthusiasts.
如果你喜欢野生动物
If you love wildlife,
就一定会喜欢都铎野生动物杂♥志♥
you'll love Tudor Wildlife Magazine.
有了它 您将更深入地了解
Become an expert in how and where to spot
都铎王朝野生动物的习性及栖息地
all the fantastic animals living in the Tudor countryside
还能知道 杀死它们能获得多少酬劳
and learn how much you'll be paid to kill them.
慢着 杀死动物还有酬劳
Excuse me? Paid to kill them?
没错 多亏了我颁布的新法案
That's right, thanks to my most excellent new law -
《保护粮食法案》
The Preservation of Grain Act.
这些动物全部归到害虫一类
All these animals are now categorised as vermin,
所以你每杀掉一只动物
so you'll be paid a bounty
都会得到一笔赏金
for each and every one that you kill.
第一♥期♥杂♥志♥中 我们列出了
In issue one, we've got a list
每种动物的赏金数额
of how much you'll get for each dead creature,
最低的是老鹰 一便士
from the red kite at 1 pence
最高的是獾 高达十二便士
to the badger at an incredible 12 pence.
等等 陛下
Hold on, hold on. Your Majesty,
您为什么要杀死这些动物
why do you want to kill all these animals?
因为庄稼歉收 粮食短缺
Because of the poor harvests and the shortage of food.
不管男女老幼
Every man, woman and child
必须尽全力捕杀这些害虫
has to kill as many of these vermin as possible
防止他们吃光庄稼
to stop them eating your crops.
老鹰不吃庄稼 它们吃老鼠
Well, red kites don't eat crops, don't they eat the real vermin -
老鼠吃庄稼 它们是真正的害虫
the mice and the rats that do eat the crops?
-你是说我蠢吗 -不是
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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