糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E01
Part 6
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:15 p.m.
你脸上弄了点脏东西
You have some dirt on your face.
别这样 妈妈
No, no! Maman!
搞定
Here you go!
你弄得我好尴尬
You're so embarrassing.
理查一世的另一个名号♥或许更广为人知
King Richard I is perhaps better known
狮心王理查
as Richard the Lionheart,
他是作为英勇的战士 伟大的统领
so called because he was a great warrior
而得此名号♥
and military leader,
并非因为他真的有一颗狮子的心脏
and not because he actually had the heart of a lion.
要真是那样的话 就太酷了 对吧
Though that would have been cool, though, wouldn't it?
华丽的乔治王朝
大家好 我是强尼·硬骨头
Hi, I'm Johnny Toughnut
下面由我教授大家
and I'm here to teach you
如何在敌对环境下生存
how to survive in a hostile environment.
敌对环境生存训练
本周我们来到英格兰的乔治王朝时期
This week we've come to Georgian England,
在这里 不论乡镇或者城市
where, in the towns and cities,
到处都藏着陷阱
trouble lurks round every corner.
我们走
Let's go.
本期嘉宾是乔治贵族 高贵勋爵
I'm with posh Georgian, Lord Posh.
告诉我 您有多高贵呢
Tell me - how posh are you?
我相当高贵
I'm so posh,
乔治国王在我面前都黯然失色
I make King George look common.
看来您是相当高贵
Oh, that is quite posh.
我们遭到攻击了 快找掩护
Right, we're under fire, take cover!
快点 快点
Move, move!
有人朝你丢了只死猫
Someone's just thrown a dead cat at you.
谁朝我丢死猫
Who's throwing dead cats at me?
人们朝乔治贵族扔死猫
我要让你受鞭刑
I shall have you flogged!
好了 我们得保持冷静
Right, we need to stay calm
控制局面
and take control of the situation.
他们朝我扔了条死狗
They threw a dead dog at me!
还有死狗
我们得把你弄进屋里去
Right we need to get you indoors.
快 快
Move, move!
敌对环境生存训练
我接受军事训练的多年间
In all my years of military training
也就是我被开除前的两个月里吧
well, the two months I done before I got chucked out
从未见过这样的事
I've never seen anything like it.
乔治王朝贵族只要出门
Georgian aristocrats only need to go outside
就会被穷♥人♥丢脏东西
to have unpleasant stuff chucked at them by poor people.
这是真的
不知为什么 穷♥人♥不喜欢我们
For some reason poor people don't like us.
真想不通 那些肮脏的渣滓
Can't think why, the filthy scum.
敌对环境生存训练
敌对环境生存的首要法则是
First rule of living in a hostile environment,
躲避侦查
avoid detection.
我去检查一下有没有穷♥人♥
Right, I'm must going to check for poor people.
未发现敌情 可以行动
The coast is clear, time to move.
准备通过马路 三 二 一
We cross the road in three, two, one.
快快快
Go, go, go, go.
有个小破孩把我的外套钉在桶上了
Some nasty urchin's just nailed my jacket to this barrel.
这种事真的在乔治王朝贵族身上发生过
我要让你们受鞭刑
I shall have you flogged!
等着瞧
You see if I don't!
这次的任务十分艰巨
This is proving to be a tough challenge.
只有一个解决办法
There's only one thing for it.
为了安全地在城里走一圈
To get around town safely,
高贵勋爵得呆在更为牢靠的交通工具里
Lord Posh is going to need to get into a securer vehicle.
就是这个了
And here it is.
解决方案 轿子
轿子有窗帘 他们从外面看不到你
Curtains so they can't see you inside,
很完美
it's perfect.
你在里面会更安全 高贵大人
You'll be safer in here, Posh.
我不可能坐着它四处走
I can't possibly travel around in that.
我的假发太大了 进不去
My wig's far too big for it.
把它摘下来不就行了吗
Well, why don't you just take it off?
会丢死人的
What and look ridiculous?
谢谢 不了 这是...
No, thanks. What the...?!
别丢我 我不是贵族
Oh, not me! I'm not Posh!
敌对环境生存训练
下周 我将前往维京时代
Next week, I'll be in the Viking era
在那里 我将向女士们展示
where I'll be showing women
如何通过向对方扔衣服
how to stop a fight between feuding Vikings
来制止维京人之间的战斗
by chucking clothes on them.
她们真的这么做过
好了 把轿子抬走
Right, take it away, boys.
我们走 快快快
Let's go, go, go, go.
敌对环境生存训练
小心马
Mind that horse.
穷♥人♥真的朝富人们扔死猫和死狗
Poor people really did throw dead dogs and dead cats at rich people.
天啊 下猫狗大雨了
Oh, it's raining cats and dogs!
[英语俗语 表示下大雨了 这里用的字面意思]
是真的
Oh, literally!
不过 在乔治王朝还有
Although there were far more serious criminals
更险恶的犯罪分子
at work in Georgian times.
这里真是一团混乱 莫森博士
A fine mess we've got here and no mistake, Dr Motson.
[恶搞福尔摩斯的伙伴"华生医生
不用怕 大人
Fear not, Your Grace,
我的朋友是伦敦最好的侦探
my friend is the greatest detective in London.
他的演绎推理能力首屈一指
His powers of reason and deduction are second to none.
确实 莫森博士
True enough, Dr Motson,
而他也值得起
and he has been worth every penny
我们政♥府♥付给他的每一分钱
we in the government have paid him,
但恐怕这起罪案
but I fear this crime maybe beyond even the skills of
连乔纳森·王尔德也束手无策
Jonathan Wilde.
午安 先生们 去吃午饭吗
Greetings, gentlemen, shall we go to lunch?
看在上帝的份上 王尔德
For goodness' sake, Wilde,
有案子要破呢
there's a crime to be solved.
四十镑的酬金准备好了吗
Is the usual 40 pounds fee available?
当然 王尔德
Of course, Wilde.
这样的话 凶手就藏在那个壁橱里
In which case, he's cowering in that very cupboard.
王尔德 你怎么知道的
But, Wilde, how could you have known?
没人见到有人离开
No-one was seen leaving the building
[恶搞BBC电视剧Sherlock]
所以小偷一定还在屋里
so the thief had to still be inside.
小偷把所有抽屉都掏空了
The thief emptied all the drawers,
但那壁橱门还关着
yet the cupboard remained closed.
真聪明 你跟捉贼上将乔纳森·王尔德交手
Brilliant, you made a mistake when you crossed swords
真是大错特错
with Jonathan Wilde, Thief Taker General.
我更大的错误
Well, I made an even bigger one
是让他告诉我藏在哪里
when I let him tell me where to hide!
就是他策划了整件抢劫案
It was him what planned the whole robbery.
天哪 麻烦了
那他为什么要告诉我们你藏在哪
Then why on earth would he tell us where you were hiding?
您该付我四十镑 大人
I believe you owe me 40 pounds, Your Grace.
当然 王尔德
Of course, Wilde.
你们看不出来他在骗你们吗
Can't you see he's ripping you off?
有钱拿 太容易了 好耶
他帮助伦敦的罪犯犯案
He's running criminals in London,
抓住他们 领♥取♥奖赏
turning them in and collecting the reward.
我们这些小偷太害怕了 什么都不敢说
Us thieves are all too scared to say anything
因为他会让我们入狱
because he'll have us arrested
再去领一笔奖赏
and then collect another reward.
他说的是真的 糟糕 被揭穿了
你觉得我是傻子吗
Do you take me for an idiot?
把他带走
Take him away.
再见 席德
Goodbye, Sid.
或者随你叫什么吧
Or whatever your name is.
自从你当上捉贼上将
Since you became Thief Taker General,
我们破获的罪案比原来多多了
we've caught more criminals than ever before.
确实 但我觉得我们可以做得更好
True enough, but I think we can do better.
我们需要更高的费用来抓捕他们
We need a higher fee for catching them.
从四十镑涨到一百四如何
Say 140 pounds instead of just 40 pounds?
没问题
Done.
其实 利用我的演绎推理能力
In fact, using my powers of deduction,
我相信我能抓住更多
I believe I can catch a few more.
帕特藏在桌子底下
Pat's under the desk,
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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