糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S05E09

Part 2 Jan. 2, 2021, 3:17 p.m.

就这样吧伙计们咱们...
All right, fellows, if we could just, erm...
有个肠卜师通过观察鸡肠
There's one bloke called a Haruspex, who cut open a chicken
来预测农神萨杜恩的一举一动
to find out what Saturn, the God of Agriculture, is planning.
这都是古罗马的科学成就太了不起了
It's ancient Roman scientific fact. Amazing!
确实我们罗马人会解剖动物
It's true. We Romans used to slice open animals.
但这并不是我们预知未来的唯一方法
But that wasn't the only way we could predict the future.
这倒是没预测到真讽刺
Didn't see that coming. Ironic.
罗马的士兵们今日我等定当名扬天下
Men of Rome. Today is a day of glory.
拉帕尼海战
克劳狄斯·普尔喀的罗马战船公元前249年
我辈将与迦太基人一决死战
For today we shall fight the Carthaginians
-胜利将属于我们 -万岁
- and we shall be victorious. - Hooray!
我说的不算数
But do not take my word for it,
留心听它的圣言
listen to the pronouncements of she
神灵赋予它预知未来的力量
who has been blessed by the gods with the power to see the future.
圣鸡万岁
All hail the sacred chicken!
万... 你刚才是说鸡吗
Hai...! Did you just say chicken?
罗马人的确认为圣鸡能预知未来
我将会喂小鸡吃种子
I will feed seed to the chicken
然后通过它的反应我们就能预知未来
and, by her actions, we will know our fate.
如果圣鸡吃种子
If the sacred chicken eats the seed,
我们就会取得胜利
then we shall be victorious.
他们确实信以为真
万岁
Hooray!
如果小鸡不吃种子呢
What happens if, erm, the chicken doesn't eat the seed?
相信我它会的
Trust me, she will.
圣鸡啊把我们的命运告诉我们吧
Oh, sacred chicken. Show us our fate.
那只小鸡没有吃那些食物
我不是叫你饿它几天吗
I thought I told you to starve her for a few days?
饿了我估计它有点晕船
I did, I think she might be a bit seasick.
圣鸡刚才说了我们注定要失败
The sacred chicken has spoken, we're doomed!
士兵们我请求你们
Men, I pray you,
不要让你的勇士精神
do not let your warrior spirit
被一只腹饱的母鸡搞得一蹶不振
be downcast by a non-hungry hen.
没用的长官他们开始恐慌了
No, it's no good, sir, they're panicking,
我们该怎么办
what are we going to do?
好吧拿着
Right, take this.
不不不不
No, da, da, da...
普尔喀真的把圣鸡丢下船
听着显然这只鸡肚子并不饿
Right. Clearly, the chicken was not hungry.
但它可能口渴了
But maybe she is thirsty.
你们看它在喝水
Look, she is drinking.
它溺水了
She is drowning.
好吧它是喝得有点多
OK, granted, she is drinking quite a lot.
他杀了圣鸡
He's killed the sacred chicken.
我们更加注定要失败了
We're even more doomed than before.
不我有办法
No! I have a plan.
不要那样做
Don't do it,
如果你不这么做我会给你钱
I will pay you not to do it.
-不要 -咯咯咯咯咯咯
- Don't do... - Cluck, cluck...
蠢蛋
我是一只圣鸡
I am a sacred chicken.
在圣鸡被丢进大海之后
When the sacred chicken was thrown into the sea,
由于船员们的恐慌罗马人战败
the crew panicked and the Romans lost the battle.
我经常用圣鸡预测自己的未来
I often use chickens to predict the future myself. Yeah.
如果吃掉一整只我预计我会胃痛
If I eat a whole one, I predict I'll have a stomach ache.
卑微的中世纪
中世纪版鉴宝路演
[恶搞BBC古董鉴别类节目Antiques Roadshow]
欢迎收看《中世纪版鉴宝路演》
Welcome to Middle Ages Antiques Roadshow
这里是卡那封城♥堡♥
at Caernarfon Castle.
成百上千的人来到这里
Hundreds of people have come down here
艾奥娜·斯普鲁斯
看看他们是否坐拥着一笔小财富
to see if they're sitting on a small fortune.
让我们去看看我们的专家马丁·保罗帕克
So, let's find out what our expert, martin Ballpark,
对今天的宝贝作何看法
has made of today's offerings.
第一件吸引他眼球的
And the first thing that has caught his eye
是一块相当古怪的中世纪金属石
is a rather curious Middle Ages metalloid.
它看起来很像铅块对吧
Now, it looks like lead, doesn't it?
如果我没估计错的话
If I'm not much mistaken,
这其实是锑块对吗
it is in fact antimony, am I right?
-完全正确 -是的
- You are, that's quite correct. - Yes.
果然不出我所料
I thought as much.
中世纪的人们认为锑块可以治病
Now antimony is a well-known Middle Ages disease cure.
真的
它非常稀有供不应求
It's very rare. It's much sought-after.
所以的确非常值钱
So, it's actually worth a lot of money.
我正希望你这么说
I was hoping you'd say that.
约翰你们家收藏这个多久了
How long's it been in the family, John?
很难估计
In total, it's hard to say.
在我祖父母体内待过几次
It's been in my grandparents a few times,
又在我爸妈体内待了几次
my parents too,
前不久刚从我体内出来
and it's just been inside me.
你说什么
Sorry, erm...
锑块的一大优点
See, the great thing about antimony
在于它不会被肠道消化掉
is it doesn't dissolve in the gut,
所以就算你吞了它
so, once you've swallowed it,
也可以在便便里搜寻一下
you can just rummage through your poo
回收再利用你没事吧
to find it and use it again. Are you OK?
他们真的这么做
只是有点想吐
I feel a bit sick actually.
借点锑块给你用用吧
Do you want to borrow some of my antimony?
你把它拉出来之后
Just make sure you give it back
要记得还给我
when it comes out the other end, please.
-那可是古董 -这由我来做判断
- That's an antique. - I'll be the judge of that!
马丁啊接下来是另一位观众
Oh, Martin, but here he is with the next hopeful,
中世纪版鉴宝路演
他带来的是一份有趣的中世纪配方
who's brought along an intriguing Middle Ages concoction.
你带来了什么东西
So, what have you got for me?
我带来了一些黄金
I've brought some gold.
开始鉴定了
Get the hands dirty, shall we?
黄金在里面是吗
And the gold's in here, is it?
不不是这就是黄金
No. No, that is the gold.
准确说来应该是黄金
Or rather, it should be,
这是僧侣制♥造♥黄金的配方
it's an old monk's recipe for making gold,
但我把鸡蛋和陈年便便混在一起好久了
but I've put the chicken's eggs in with the rotting dung for ages
但还是没有要变成黄金的样子
and it doesn't seem to have turned into gold yet.
很奇怪
Weird!
真实的中世纪黄金制♥作♥配方
怎么又来了
Not again.
你确定不来点锑吗
Are you sure you don't want to borrow some of my anti...?
不要
No.
各位真抱歉
So sorry, everyone.
其实锑块是一种有毒的金属
Antimony is actually a toxic metal,
会让你呕吐腹泻
which makes you sick and gives you diarrhoea.
中世纪的人吞食锑块
The people of the Middle Ages swallowed it
以为这样可以去除体内的有害物质
because they thought it got rid of the bad stuff inside you.
比如说有毒的金属
Like the, erm, toxic metal, for instance.
中世纪人还相信魔法
In the Middle Ages, they also believed in magic.
中世纪魔法游戏
中世纪魔法游戏居家游戏之首选
It's the Middle Ages Magic Set for all the family.
三种极妙的戏法
一盒中包含三种极妙的戏法
Three great tricks in one box.
把水变成红酒让家人♥大♥吃一惊
Amaze your family by turning water into wine.
先倒一杯水
Look, a glass of water,
然后简单地加一些神秘配方
then I simply add the secret ingredient.
好棒你是怎么做到的
Wow, how did you do that?
魔法
是魔法
It's magic.
不不是魔法
Well, erm, no, it's not.
她用的那块面包里吸了很多红酒
The bread she used was soaked in strong red wine.
我可以让苹果自己移♥动♥
I can make the apple move all by itself.
借助一只藏在苹果里的甲虫
With a bit of help from a beetle hidden inside the apple.
厉害
Brilliant!
这苹果是烂的
That is rotten,
还咬了一口甲虫
got a bit of beetle in there as well.
最棒的是你能学到如何让鸡蛋飞起来
And best of all, you can learn how to make an egg fly.
太棒了这是魔法啊
Wow! That's magic.
也许他只是在鸡蛋周围系了根很长的头发
Or has he just tied a very long hair round the egg?