糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E02
Part 2
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:15 p.m.
Dumkoffs! We give ourselves the same advantage.
如果我们也开始吃胡萝卜
If we also start eating the carrots
那我们也能在黑暗中洞悉事物
then we too will be able to see in the dark.
我们就能反败为胜了
The table will be turned.
好想法
It's brilliant.
现在我们不再畏惧黑夜
Now darkness is our ally.
-准备飞行 -是
- To your planes. - Ja wohl!
好吧 我想秘密武器不是胡萝卜
Yeah, I don't think it's the carrots.
是啊 可能不是胡萝卜
Yeah, possibly not carrots.
对 实际上 英国飞行员是靠雷达
Yes, it was in fact radar that helped British pilots
在黑夜飞行 而不是胡萝卜
to see in the dark, not carrots.
不过胡萝卜所含的维生素
Although the vitamins in carrots
的确对我们的眼睛有益
are good for your eyes.
胡萝卜用来当鼻子也不错
Carrots are also good for a nose,
如果你是一个雪人的话
if you're a snowman.
绝妙古希腊
《这就是希腊战斗音乐》专辑
Now, that's what they called Greek Battle Music.
用激昂的旋律鼓舞斗志 集中精力
Pumping music to motivate, focus
激发战斗热情
and help you get fired up for battle.
收录雅典军队专用旋律
Featuring this track for Athenian troops.
太棒了 我已经蓄势待发了
Oh, yeah, love it! Now well psyched up.
赶快打吧 等不及了
Woo, let's do this thing, come on.
以及底比斯战斗旋律
This hit for Theban Warriors.
我可怜今天将与我作战的战士
Oh, I pity the warrior that has to face me today.
我真可怜他
I pity him!
放马过来吧
Oh, bring it on.
以及斯巴达勇士之乐
And music for Spartan Warriors.
我已血脉贲张了
Oh, I'm so pumped.
淡定点儿行不
Hey, hey, hey, guys, chillax, yeah?
伙计 这音乐怎么能让你亢奋
Dude, this music isn't going to get you fired up.
我们斯巴达人永远都是满血状态
Us Spartans are permanently fired up
时刻准备着
and ready for battle,
所以到了即将战斗的时候
so much so that before we fight,
我们用音乐让自己镇定 你明白不
we need music just to calm us down, yeah? Can you dig?
就是说你们想让自己不那么亢奋
So you're trying not to get psyched up?
当然
Of course!
这么精彩的战斗 你不想草草收场吧
You don't want the fun of battle to be over too quickly, do you?
谁要来战
Who wants a fight?!
我砍死你
I'll knock your head off!
《这就是希腊战斗音乐》
Now, that's what they called Greek Battle Music.
经典全收录
Hit after hit, after hit.
斯巴达
Sparta!
趁敌人还没被杀完 快来买♥♥吧
Buy now while enemies last.
这是真的
It's true.
斯巴达人随时处于备战状态
Spartan men were full-time warriors, so battle-ready.
战前喜欢听长笛和排笛
They preferred to listen to flutes and panpipes,
你最好不要和他们撞上
you really wouldn't want to face them.
我觉得穿长袍的一个好处是
I guess the good thing about wearing a tunic was,
如果你被吓尿了 别人不容易看出来
if you weed yourself it wasn't so obvious.
而每位斯巴达战士都需要一位斯巴达新娘
And every Spartan warrior needed a Spartan bride.
不能对斯巴达新娘说的秘密
[戏仿BBC真人秀节目Don't tell the bride]
明天是斯巴达新娘克里欧莎的大喜之日
Tomorrow is Spartan bride Creosa's wedding day,
也许是她这辈子最重要的日子
perhaps the biggest day of her life.
你能别动吗 马上就好了
Will you hold still? I'm nearly done.
但是她让她的未婚夫亚克托安
But she has let her fiance, Actaeon,
来操刀他们的婚礼
plan every single detail of their wedding.
我已经给她选好了嫁衣 筹备好了仪式
Well I've chosen her outfit, planned the ceremony,
甚至连发型都给她选好了
even picked her hairstyle.
但愿她喜欢
I just hope she likes it.
所以 这将成为她终身难忘的一天
So, will it be a day to remember,
还是不堪回首的一天
or one she'd rather forget?
天哪
Oh, dear!
好了 就是他要求的样子 感觉如何
There, just like he asked for, what do you think?
感觉...
Well I think...
太棒了 你是天下最好的伴娘
it's wonderful, you're the best bridesmaid ever.
斯巴达新娘的确都要剃光头
对了 不好意思
Oh, yeah, sorry,
您收看的是《不能对斯巴达新娘说的秘密》
this is Don't Tell The Spartan Bride.
她未婚夫选的发型
With her fiance's choice of haircut
奇迹般地受到了新娘的喜爱
having gone down surprisingly well in fact,
现在克里欧莎正期待着
Creosa is now waiting for the delivery
亚克托安给她挑选的嫁衣
of the wedding outfit Actaeon has picked for her.
进来了哦 你的礼服来了
Knock, knock! I've got your bridal wear.
选择嫁衣上 我走的是传统路线
I've gone pretty traditional with the outfit.
我的战友
I mean all me army buddies
都给他们的新娘这么穿
went for the same thing with their brides,
所以 但愿不是太简陋
so, you know, if it ain't broke...
那么亚克托安的传统礼服
So will Actaeon's traditional outfit
会是克里欧莎梦寐以求的吗
be everything that Creosa ever dreamed of ?
天哪 亚克托安把他的妻子
Oh no! Actaeon has dressed his wife
打扮成了个斯巴达男人
up like a Spartan man!
他这下麻烦大了
He's going to be in so much trouble now.
-你们觉得怎么样 -绝了
- What do you think? - Stunning.
-我知道 -你看起来像个爷们
- I know. - You look like a man!
她们确实穿男人的衣服
身为一名斯巴达战士
As a Spartan Warrior,
亚克托安对他战友的爱是毋庸置疑的
Actaeon's devotion to the men in his unit is absolute.
所以在我们的婚礼上 把我打扮成男人
So making me look like a man on our big day,
是他对我爱的体现
it just shows how much he loves me.
太浪漫了
It's so romantic.
谁能想到呢
Who'd have thought?!
不能对斯巴达新娘说的秘密
现在婚服也穿戴整齐了
Well with her wedding outfit complete, apparently,
剩下的就是克里欧莎最后一个单身之夜
Creosa has just one more night as a single woman
接着就要举♥行♥
before she finally sees the ceremony
亚克托安精心筹划的婚礼了
that Actaeon has spent so long planning.
好吧 貌似亚克托安绑♥架♥了他的未婚妻
Oh, right, it seems Actaeon is kidnapping his fiancee.
他们真的这么做
其他人都不觉得这很诡异吗
Is no-one else finding this a bit weird?
不吗 好吧
No? OK.
大喜之日
亚克托安把克里欧莎送回娘家 太好了
Actaeon has delivered Creosa back to her mother's house - great!
所以该是举♥行♥仪式的时候了
So now it must be time for the ceremony.
好了 我去打仗了
Right, I'm off to war.
好的 再见宝贝
Yeah see you, babe.
他们要参军直到三十岁
好 十年后见
Yeah, see you in ten years,
再见
Ta-ra.
啥 就这么完了 把头剃了
What? That was it, she shaves her head,
穿成男人的样子
dresses like a man,
被未婚夫绑♥架♥ 然后
he kidnaps her and then
他就离开她去打仗了
leaves her straight away to go off to war?
这就是斯巴达的婚礼吗
That was a Spartan wedding?!
亚克托安太了不起了
Actaeon was amazing,
他把我们的婚礼操办得完美无缺
I mean our wedding was perfect in every detail.
太完美了
It was just perfect.
我被打败了
Oh, I give up!
不能对斯巴达新娘说的秘密
我想知道隔壁古董秀
I wonder if that nice antique show
还招不招念旁白的人了
needs a voice-over person.
棘手的二十世纪
当泰坦尼克号♥在1912年起航时
When the Titanic set sail in 1912,
人们认为它是"不沉之船"
it was thought to be practically unsinkable.
所以当灾难降临时
This might explain why everyone on board
船上每一个人都措手不及
was so badly off when disaster struck.
设想下船员们聚集起来
Imagine if the crew had got together
商讨他们的准备有多不充分的场景
to discuss how ill-prepared they were.
好了 先生们 正如你们所知
Right, gentlemen, as you know,
泰坦尼克此行有两千名乘客
we've got over 2,000 passengers on board the Titanic for this trip,
我们现在正驶向一片以冰山闻名的海域
and we're sailing into an area well-known for its icebergs.
所以小心起见 进行下安全检查
So I thought it only prudent to go through a few safety checks.
今天的救生演习进行得如何
How did today's lifeboat drill go?
史密斯船长 遵照您的指示 演习被取消
It was cancelled, Captain Smith, as per your orders.
史密斯船长确实取消了救生演习
干得好 默多克 有这么大的船在这儿
Good work, Murdoch, who needs a lifeboat drill
还费什么劲演习
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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