糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E06
Part 1
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that
且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to
第五季 第六集
糟糕历史
邪恶的维多利亚时代
维多利亚女王的加冕礼十分盛大
Queen Victoria's Coronation was a truly grand occasion,
这倒不难想象
as you'd expect,
不过还发生了点小插曲 日安
but there were a few hiccups. Good day.
1838年 这个灿烂的夏日
You join us on the splendid summer's day in 1838
威斯敏斯特教堂
1838年6月28日
我们在伦敦威斯敏斯特教堂一起为
in London's Westminster Abbey, to celebrate
十八岁的维多利亚女王
the Coronation of our new Queen Victoria,
举♥行♥加冕礼
at the tender age of 18.
加冕戒
Now, the ring.
大主教现在拿起加冕戒
The Archbishop now moves to place the Coronation ring
戴在维多利亚手指上
on Victoria's finger.
不是这根手指
Ow! That's the wrong finger.
大主教的确把戒指套错了手指
对不起
Sorry.
天哪 戒指貌似彻底卡住了
Oh dear! The ring would seem to be well and truly stuck.
大主教 你弄疼我了
Ow! Archbishop, you're hurting me.
万分抱歉
Terribly sorry.
戒指戴对手指了
And now, with the ring on the right finger,
维多利亚戴上皇冠
Victoria receives the Royal Crown.
现在我宣布你为
I now pronounce you
大不列颠及爱尔兰联合王国女王
Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland,
兰开斯特公爵和康沃尔公爵
the Duke of Lancaster and the Duke of Cornwall.
-真的吗 -上面是这么写的
- Really? - That's what it says here.
真的都是维多利亚女王的头衔
然后
And next,
依照王国的伟大传统
in accordance with the great traditions of the land,
现在轮到英国贵族们
it's time for the British lords
触摸新女王的皇冠
to touch the new Queen's crown.
恭喜您 陛下
Congratulations, Ma'am.
谢谢 滚吧
Thank you. Now, get lost.
现在走上楼的 是八十二岁的罗尔勋爵
And coming up the stairs, it's 82-year-old Lord Rolle.
恭喜您 陛下
Congratulations, Ma'am. Ooh!
罗尔公爵滚下了楼梯
And there goes Lord Rolle, rolling down the stairs.
罗尔公爵的确摔下楼了
现在 按照惯例
And now, as is customary,
女王的司库向众位贵族
the Queen's Treasurer scatters gold and silver medals
抛撒金银勋章
amongst the lordly congregation.
人们为得到勋章发生了争斗
场面的确感人
Touching scenes, indeed.
真好玩
One is most terribly amused.
维多利亚在童年时
As a child, Victoria
深受主教恐惧症之苦 十分害怕主教
suffered from episcophobia, a fear of bishops.
她在加冕之前克服了恐惧
Just as well she got over it before she was crowned
否则 她的加冕礼会更荒唐
or her coronation would have been even sillier.
救命 主教来了 救命 主教来了
"Oh, help, it's a bishop! Oh, help, it's a bishop! Ooooh!"
亲爱的 冷静 冷静 冷静
"Calm, calm, calm, dear!"
1840年 维多利亚与阿尔伯特亲王结婚
In 1840, Victoria married Prince Albert,
而他并不是很受人们的欢迎
and he wasn't a very popular choice. Oh no.
塞德里克 瞧瞧 你这辈子见过
Cedric, look. Have you ever seen anything
这么可笑的事吗
so ridiculous in your entire life?
天哪 这些人都不照镜子的吗
Oh my giddy aunt! Don't these people have mirrors?
而且还和女王结了婚
And he's married to the Queen!
也许在德国比较流行留胡子
Maybe moustaches are big in Germany.
反正在这里不流行
Well, they're certainly not over here.
他还奇怪自己为何在英国民众心中
And he wonders why he's so unpopular
这么不受欢迎呢
with the British public,
看他带着那横挂在脸上的可笑鼻屎塞
wandering around with that ludicrous bogey buffers
四处闲逛
stretched across his face.
看那些穿军装的
Oh look! Army types.
他们人都不错 过去吧
They're always up for a laugh. Come on.
伙计们
I say, chaps!
你看到阿尔伯特亲王那可笑的胡...
Have you seen Prince Albert's ludicrous moustaaaah...
你刚才说什么
I beg your pardon?
我说 你 好 吗
I said, hoooowww ahhhh you?
不是这句 你觉得我看起来像白♥痴♥吗
No, you didn't. Do I look like an idiot to you?
有一点 嘴上的东西挺像的
A little bit. Around the lips.
有点 这个地方有几分
Sort of. And this area here, sort of thing.
你们应该知道 先生们
For your information, gentleman,
胡子可是非常时髦的
moustache is the very height of fashion.
胡子从1860开始成为时尚
显然两位仁兄没参加过
Clearly, you chaps haven't been involved
克里米亚战役
in the Crimean campaign.
剃须刀割破皮肤会引发皮肤感染
Skin infections caused by razor-cuts
我们大批的士兵因此倒下
had our soldiers dropping like flies over there,
所以我们的军官不再剃须
so us officers stopped shaving,
留着大胡子 很快大家都纷纷效仿
grew our facial hair. Soon, the men followed suit,
现在我们回来了
and now we're back here,
这股狂热像野火一样蔓延开
the craze is spreading like wildfire.
你刚才说什么
You were saying?
真事
亲爱的塞德里克 似乎
Dear Cedric, it would appear
你和我突然变得极度过时
that you and I are, suddenly, deeply unfashionable.
那只是你自己 老兄
Speak for yourself, mate.
先生们
Gentlemen...
腐朽古罗马
大家好 我是广♥告♥人
Hi, I'm a shouty man
今天为大家介绍的是新罗马狗狗
and I'm here to tell you about New Roman Dog,
可爱的它拥有一身多功能皮毛
the cuddly companion who puts the fur into multifurpose.
新罗马狗狗
你有疣吗
Do you have a wart?
看来是有了
Oh! I'll take that as a "Yes".
但是别担心 帮助就在爪边
But don't worry. Help is at paw.
只要将一些新罗马狗狗的嘘嘘
Simply mix some wee-wee from New Roman Dog
嘘嘘拌泥巴
和泥巴拌在一起
with some mud,
涂抹在患处
apply to the affected abomination
然后你的疣就会消失了
and your wart will disappear,
就是说尿[你要]更美丽
meaning urine great shape.
[此处urine尿液和you are in类似]
我说了个双关笑话
I made a joke with words!
疣还在脸上
It's still there.
老兄 这只是条小狗
It's only a little dog, mate.
如果你有比疣更严重的困扰
And if your affliction is more serious than a wart,
让罗马狗狗来帮你
then Roman Dog is here to help.
新罗马狗狗
来个全身的小狗按♥摩♥
An all-over body rub down with a puppy
全身按♥摩♥
是针治各种疾病的犬方治愈
is the perfect canine cure for all manner of illness.
亲爱的 感觉好点了吗
Feeling better, love?
事实上 我的确感觉好点了
Actually, I do feel a bit better for that.
那是因为加文治好了你
That's because Gavin here has cured you.
真是太棒了
Oh, that's wonderful...
新罗马狗狗不仅能治病
And New Roman Dog doesn't stop at curing illness.
新罗马狗狗
不 如果有人死了 他还会狂吠致哀
Oh no! He'll also howl, if someone has died.
加文 你要么治好她 要么治不好
Either you cured her or you didn't, Gavin.
鱼和熊掌不可兼得
You can't have it both ways.
即使你的小狗死了
And even when your doggy dies,
它依旧有用
he's still as useful as ever.
黑犬的胆囊
In fact, the gall bladder of a black dog
糟糕历史（2009）
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