糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E06
Part 3
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
揭晓比分的时刻到啦
Time for those all-important scores.
公子哥儿蒲鲁马打出风姿绰约的7分
It's a stylish seven from Beau Brummel...
食物太难吃了
The food was awful.
但因为他在布莱顿开澡堂的事情
But as he'll be needing help from the Prince Regent to open
需要摄政王帮忙
a bath house in Brighton,
迪安·穆♥罕♥默♥德♥给了他10分
Dean Mahomet's given him a ten.
乔治三世给了一只鸡
And it's a chicken from George III,
意味着赢得1000英镑大奖的是
meaning the winner of the 1,000 pounds is...
是我 我赢了 太棒了 威武晋级
It's me! I won! Yes! Get in, so much!
我终于可以开始还债了
Yes, I can finally start paying off my debts!
谢谢 我答应会负责地使用这笔钱
Oh, thank you. I promise to use this money responsibly.
或者咱们去吃晚餐
Or we can all go for supper,
我请客
on me!
迪安·穆♥罕♥默♥德♥在布莱顿开了几家蒸汽澡堂
Dean Mahomet opened some steam baths in Brighton,
他在那里用草药和蒸汽
where he treated people for all sorts of ailments,
为人们治疗各种疾病
using herbs and vapours.
他甚至治疗过乔治四世
He even treated George IV.
他被称为"屎屎大夫"
He was known as a pooing surgeon.
不 等等 对不起 错了吧
No, no, wait a minute. Sorry, that's not right, is it?
我想说的是"洗洗大夫"
I meant to say shampooing surgeon.
我们能重录一遍吗
Actually, shall we just take that again?
绝妙古希腊
马其顿亚历山大大帝真的没闲逛悠
Alexander the Great of Macedonia really didn't hang around.
22岁时 他占领了整个希腊
By the age of 22, he'd conquered virtually the whole of Greece.
但他没有停止扩张帝国版图
But he just couldn't stop expanding his empire.
有些人就是满足不了
Some people are never happy!
在玩完桌游"亚历山大征服之旅 希腊"后
Are you fed up, now you've finished
亚历山大征服之旅 希腊
你是否对此感到厌倦了
Alexander's Conquest of Greece board game?
为什么止步于此
Why stop there?
用全新波斯拓展包 继续扩大帝国吧
Keep adding to your Empire, with the all-new Persia Expansion.
全新波斯拓展包
全新波斯拓展包真是太酷了
The new Persia Expansion game is awesome!
我要去对抗一支由一百万人组成的军队
I'm going to fight an army of one million men.
继希腊之后亚历山大大帝确实征服了波斯
一百万人 有些困难了吧
A million, it sounds a bit hard.
好的 尝尝我大军的厉害
Yes! Eat my army!
我征服了波斯 游戏结束
I've conquered Persia - game over!
不
Oh, no.
稍等 各位 游戏还没有结束
Wait a minute, guys, the game's not over yet.
亚历山大的确命令他的大军继续征战
说得没错
That's right-er.
正当你想着打包走人的时候
Just when you think you can pack up and go home,
你将被逼着去玩亚历山大的新征程
you'll be made to play Alexander's new conquest.
"埃及拓展包"
"The Egypt Expansion Board."
全新埃及拓展包
真的要玩吗 时间已经不早了
Are you sure? It's just, it's getting late.
是啊 咱们见好就收吧
Yeah, maybe we should quit, while it's still fun.
我正在兴头上 再说 这是我的游戏
Well, I'm having fun! And it's MY game.
是啊 多有趣的游戏
Y-yes, fun game!
快看 我刚刚征服了埃及
Oh, look! I've just conquered Egypt.
埃及
不 游戏结束了
Oh, no, game over!
才没有
No.
说得没错
That's right-er!
继亚历山大的征服之旅 希腊
Alexander's Conquest of Greece,
波斯以及埃及拓展包之后
Persia and Egypt Expansion
全新印度拓展包
还有印度之旅拓展包
comes with a Conquest of India Expansion board, too!
有完没完
Oh, come on!
老实说我只是来征服波斯的 所以
I only really came round to conquer Persia, so...
我现在想征服印度
I want to conquer India now!
这下得费些功夫了
Yeah, that could take a while.
我答应过我妹妹到时去泳池接她的
I did say I'd pick my sister up from the swimming pool.
看 我们刚刚被象群攻击了
Oh look, we've just been attacked by elephants!
"象群"是什么东西
What is an elephants?
好吧 但是等我们征服印度之后
OK, but once we conquer India,
我们就得回家了 因为我
then can we go home, because I...
-你觉得呢 -一点不错
- What do you think? - You've guessed it!
继亚历山大的征服之旅 希腊
Alexander's Conquest of Greece,
波斯 埃及以及印度几大拓展包之后
Persian, Egypt and India Expansion
全新的"征服全球"拓展包正式上市
comes with the To The Ends Of The Earth Expansion board!
全新的"征服全球"拓展包
我们要不停地继续这场游戏
We are going to keep playing this game
直到棋盘囊括整个世界
until this board covers the whole world.
最终他的士兵拒绝继续战斗
人呢
Guys?
亚历山大的征服之旅 希腊
Alexander's Conquest of Greece,
波斯 埃及 印度
Persia, Egypt and India
以及"征服全球"拓展包桌游
with the To The Ends Of The Earth Expansion board game.
玩到没人陪你玩为止
Play it until no-one will play with you anymore.
好吧 到底是谁在说话
Right, who is that voice?
亚历山大的帝国异常庞大
Alexander's empire was huge
疆域超过五百万平方公里 相当辽阔
and stretched over five million square kilometres, which is massive.
几乎和他本人的自负一样庞大
Almost as big as Alexander's ego.
没错 亚历山大确实是个人物
Yes, that Alexander really was quite a character.
我是亚历山大*
*Alexander is my name
最有名的马其顿人*
*Macedonia's most famous
史称伟大军事家*
*Commander history calls "The Great"
我更喜欢最强将军*
*But I prefer "The Greatest"
继位之时只有二十*
*A king aged only 20
因我父王惨遭刺杀*
*When my dad assassinated
顾问要我冷静 但其实*
*Advisors called for calm but, frankly
和平没那么重要啊*
*Peace is over-rated
一举击溃 希腊城邦叛军*
*Crushed rebels in Greek city states
敌人尸体堆积成山*
*So, thousands of them martyrs
邻邦工作再没人干*
*Made short labour of my neighbours
而这只是开端*
*And that was just for starters
亚历山大*
*Alexander
永远的战士啊*
*Full-time fighter
确立国内的统治*
*Made my home rule secure
但这还不够*
*But that wasn't enough
我还要更多 更多 更多*
*I wanted more, more, more
于是开始伟大计划*
*And so began my masterplan
侵略征服纳入囊中*
*To conquer by invasion
先拿父亲旧敌开刀*
*Started with dad's enemy
波斯王国首当其冲*
*The famous Persian nation
大流士军远超过我*
*Ruler Darius had far more troops
初期处于下风*
*An inconvenience
但我仍旧胜利 接着攻下埃及*
*But I won, then thrashed Egypt
极富军事才能*
*I'm a military genius
在埃及建立亚历山大港*
*Founded Egypt's Alexandria
纪念当世最伟大的我*
*Named for the greatest man alive
如今成为法老和波斯国王*
*I was now Pharaoh and King of Persia
25岁干得不错*
*Not bad for 25
亚历山大*
*Alexander
凯♥旋♥的战士啊*
*Victorious fighter
"最伟大的"太过平淡*
*"The Greatest" sounds flat
不如叫我"人神"*
*How about "The Living God"
这称号♥我喜欢*
*Yeah, I'll buy that
忠实的将士劝我*
*My loyal followers said
"就这样吧"*
*"That's the stuff"
但我天生好斗觉得*
*But I, a born warrior said
"还不够啊"*
*"It's not enough"
我们夺下印度吧*
*Let's take India
最后到的是阿呆*
*Last man there's a fool
开始穿波斯服装*
*Started wearing Persian clothes
老天我样子真帅*
*Boy, I looked so cool
我的军队开始疑惑*
*But made my troops suspicious
人们说我野心勃勃*
*Men called me too ambitious
说不会再跟我一起*
*Said they wouldn't follow me
吉他独奏 托勒密
Guitar solo, Ptolemy!
[埃及托勒密王朝创建者托勒密一世]
因为我 托勒密*
*Cos of me, Ptolemy
越走越远啊*
*He'll go far
建立王朝 统治埃及*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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