糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E02
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:15 p.m.
你可能没命后悔了
you might not live to regret it.
这块地我们占了
We have a claim to this land.
-你不尊重我 -那又怎样
- You're disrespecting me. - So what if I am?
你不尊重我的整个家族
You're disrespecting my whole family.
那你又能怎么着
So what are you going to do about it?
我们只有一个选择
There's only one thing we can do.
没错
That's right.
我们用维京人的方式解决这件事
We settle this the Viking way.
用维京人的方式解决
We settle it the Viking way!
通过理智探讨和民♥主♥辩论
With reasoned discussion and democratic debate.
同意
Agreed.
我们需要在维京议会里讨论这次争端
We need to discuss this dispute in a Viking parliament.
-同意 -好吧 我们下周六见
- Agreed. - Well, I'll see you there next Saturday.
维京人一般用和平的方式解决争端
-很好 -我很期待
- Lovely. - I'll look forward to it.
帕特怎么样
How's Pat?
很好 朱蒂丝怎么样
Very well, how's Judith?
她好极了
Oh, she's wonderful.
不错 你看起来气色很好 减肥了吗
Good. You're looking good, have you lost weight?
你懂的 经典方法
Oh, you know, a bit of the old...
这是真的
It's true!
维京人在名为"冰岛议会"的维京议会上
We Vikings did discuss disputes in a Viking Parliament
解决纠纷
called an Althing, yes,
我们比你想的要和平多了
we were more peaceful than you might think.
[美国民谣二重唱Simon & Garfunkel歌♥曲混编]
我们维京人在英国*
*We Vikings have an awful reputation
骂名多多*
*With your nation
但我们不止夺尽抢光*
*But when we'd finished plundering and pillages
还建起了漂亮村庄*
*Made nice villages
以索普 科克或比结尾的地名*
*Any place name ending -thorpe or -kirk or -by
说明曾被我们占领*
*Was us, you see
斯肯索普 奥姆斯科克*
*Scunthorpe, Ormskirk
韦瑟比 斯卡伯勒市集*
*Wetherby, Scarborough fair
名字是我们所起*
*We named them, yeah
我们把英国对角分成西北与东南*
*We split your isles diagonally from south-east to north-west
我们的地盘叫丹麦律法区*
*Our section called the Danelaw
国王阿尔弗雷德管另一半*
*King Alfred ruled the rest
觉得我们可怕 先别跑呀*
*Think we're scary? No don't flee
被征服的撒克逊人会发觉*
*Conquered Saxons would find we
我们生活得平静又和谐*
*Settled and lived in harmony
维京英格兰*
*Vike-Eng-land
虽然我们最初是侵略者*
*Though we began as raiders
计划真周全*
*So well-planned
你们把我们当成贸易者*
*You accepted us as traders
我们带来了新词汇*
*We introduced some new terms
丈夫 喘息 蛋*
*Husband, gasp, egg
笨拙 纠缠 腿*
*Awkward, nag, leg
为英语增添了50多个词*
*More than 50 words to leave your lingo
如果乐意 谢谢维京*
*To your liking, thank a Viking
你们叫斯旺西城的小镇子*
*Your little town of Swansea City
因我们国王斯温得名*
*Named for our King Sweyn
沃特福德与都柏林*
*Waterford and Dublin
也出自我们挪威维京*
*Us old Norse Vikings again
加倍尊敬农业 因为我们是农民*
*As farmers we made doubly sure to respect agriculture
有我们 当地人很放心*
*With us, locals felt secure
挪威苏格兰*
*Norse-Scot-land
那片区域的大多地方*
*Large parts of that whole region
土地被改善*
*Norse got land
因为挪威人将其改良*
*Were improved by Norwegians
伦敦桥要倒下来*
*London Bridge is falling down
这首童谣来自我们的时代*
*The nursery rhyme comes from our time
维京人是主角啊*
*Vikings played key roles
1014年倒下来*
*In 1014 it was pulled down
凶手是奥拉夫·哈拉尔松*
*By Olaf Haraldsson
你还可以叫他奥拉*
*You can call him Ol
在和克努特大帝的纠纷中*
*In a dispute with King Canute
[丹麦 英格兰 挪威国王]
奥拉夫获胜*
*Olaf's side won
[奥拉夫支持盎格鲁撒克逊国王埃塞雷德]
埃塞雷德凯♥旋♥称王*
*Ethelred returned as king
然后他宣告四方*
*And could be heard proclaiming
这是酬劳 奥拉夫·哈拉尔松*
*"Here's to you, Olaf Haraldsson"
[他付给奥拉夫22,000磅金银作为酬劳]
维京英格兰*
*Vike-Eng-land
我们付出暴虐的生命*
*We swapped our life of violence
挪威苏格兰*
*Norse-Scot-land
来享受寂静之声*
*To enjoy the sound of silence
毫无疑问 维京的统治*
*There's no doubt under Viking rule
改善了不列颠*
*Britain did improv-y
感觉妙不可言*
*Feelin' groovy
这可不是谎话 啦啦 谎话*
*And that's no lie La-lie, la, la, lie
恐怖的都铎王朝
亨利八世为了和自己的第一个老婆
In order to get a divorce from his first wife,
阿♥拉♥贡的凯瑟琳离婚
Catherine of Aragon,
脱离了天主教会
Henry VIII broke away from the Catholic church
这对所有人来说都是个翻天覆地的变化
and that meant a big change for everyone.
是时候和天主教信仰说再见了
It's time to say goodbye to your Catholic religion.
准备好信仰转换
信仰转换要登陆英格兰了
The Religious Switchover is coming to England.
1534年起 你的宗教服务
From 1534, you'll no longer be able to receive
将不再来自教皇
your religious services from the Pope.
取而代之的是亨利八世的宗教服务
Instead you'll have to get them from King Henry VIII,
他是英国国教的教宗
Head of the all new Church of England.
全新 英国国教
不过别担心 改变信仰很简单
But don't worry, it's easy to convert.
不需要举♥行♥什么仪式
There are no forms to fill in.
你还可以保留你的旧《圣经》
You can even keep your old Bible.
不过如果你是个僧侣
But if you're a monk,
就得上交一切值钱的东西
you'll have to hand over everything of any value.
上交一切值钱的东西
什么
What?
这是信仰转换之前的僧侣
Here's a monk before religious switchover.
之前
这是他之后的样子
And here he is after.
之后
我其实应该把这本《圣经》也拿走
Actually, I think I might take the Bible as well.
看上去还是值点钱的
Looks like it might be worth something.
实际上 唯一的区别就是
In fact the only difference you'll really notice
国王现在有了个年轻貌美的新妻子
is the King's now got a lovely new wife.
而且我更有钱了
And I'm quite a lot richer.
好像我还不够迷人似的 对吧 安妮
As if I wasn't attractive enough already, eh, Anne?
真抱歉 我午饭吃多了
Oops, sorry about that, had rather a heavy lunch.
没错 改变信仰就是如此简单
Yes, switching really is that simple.
只需点击这个写着你接受
Just tick the box that says you accept
我接受国王的无上权威
国王无上权威的方框
the supreme authority of the King
你就可以继续过日子了
and you'll be able to carry on as normal.
要是像大♥法♥官 托马斯·摩尔爵士那样
But if, like Royal Councillor, Sir Thomas More,
拒绝承认英国国教的权威的话
you refuse to acknowledge the new powers of the Church of England...
那你可以和我们的特别顾问
Then you can just talk to one of our special advisors
谈谈其他可行的选择
about the other options available.
所以别把你的脑袋落下啊
So don't let your head get left behind!
好吧 下一个是谁
Right, who's next?
伟大的信仰转换即将来临 准备好了吗
The great Religious Switchover is coming, are you ready?
伟大的信仰转换
你知道安妮·博林
Did you know Anne Boleyn
把白鹰当成她的象征吗
had a bird as her emblem, a white falcon.
不过无头鸡可能更适合她
Though a headless chicken might have been more appropriate!
抱歉
Sorry.
安妮的头
Anne was executed with
被一名专业剑客一剑砍下
one clinical blow from an expert swordsman,
但有些都铎王朝的死刑 则乱成一锅粥
but some Tudor executions, well they were a lot messier.
汝被拍了
[恶搞英国真人秀节目You've been framed!]
现在我们来到了苏格兰女王
Yeah, here we are at the execution
玛丽一世的处决现场
of Mary Queen of Scots, yeah.
这肃穆的一刻将永载史册
A solemn moment that'll go down in history.
看哪 这头是苏格兰女王玛丽一...
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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