糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S05E04

Part 4 Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.

我打算用涂漆的死尸装饰我的花♥园♥
I intend to decorate mine with varnished corpses.
他真有这打算
什么
I beg your pardon?
我们一定要理解死亡先生
We must demystify death, sir.
如果身边都是死尸
Surround ourselves with it,
那我们将不再惧怕死亡
and we will lose our fear of mortality.
可您不能在花♥园♥里放尸体
But you can't keep corpses in a garden!
你说得对会腐烂掉的
Yes, maybe you're right. The weather would rot them.
那我就用特别改进的柜子
Yes, maybe I'll just exhibit some preserved heads
展示一些处理过的脑袋好了
in a specially-modified cabinet.
这也是他的计划
先生您还真是异于常人
You, sir, are a very unusual man.
好吧我出门遛达波和多宾了
Right, I'm off to walk Dapple and Dobbin.
它们在这先生
Here they are, sir.
谢谢詹宁斯宝贝们出发
Thank you, Jennings. Come on, boys!
边沁的两根拐杖叫达波和多宾
随风奔驰达波不乖
Ride like the wind! Oh, Dapple!
来自杰里米·边沁的英语词汇
国际的
可拆分的
最小化
最大化
可没入水中的
冗长
详尽无遗的
协作者
可吞咽的
可重复的
可重复的
可重复的
引起敌对
奇怪的
真假辨析
True or false.
杰里米·边沁死后尸体被展出
After he died, Jeremy Bentham's body was put on display.
他的骨架穿了上他自己的衣服
His skeleton was dressed in his own clothes,
用稻草填满并顶上一个复♥制♥的蜡质头像
stuffed with straw and topped off with a replica wax head.
这是真的
It's... ture!
是他本人的意愿
It was what he wanted!
现在你仍可以到伦敦大学瞻仰他
And you can still see it to this day in the University of London!
这是另一位充满色彩的乔治时代人物
Here's another colourful Georgian character.
布兰查德夫人
愚蠢的死法之
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
真人真事乐哈哈*
*They're funny cos they're true
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time, it's not you
生日快乐来嘛把蜡烛吹了
Happy birthday! Well, come on, then, blow the candle out.
等你要等一天了
Oh! We'll be here all day.
下一位
Next!
你好我是布兰查德夫人
Bonjour. Je m'appelle Madame Blanchard.
法国女士我来表现一下
Oh! A French lady. I'll take this.
你叫什么名字
Comment vous appellez-vous?
我叫布兰查德夫人
Je m'appelle Madame Blanchard.
刚告诉你了啊
I just told you.
好吧我只会这一句法语
All right, it's just the only French I know.
你为什么来这儿布兰查德夫人
And what brings you here, Madame Blanchard?
你可能听说过我的丈夫
Well, you may have heard of my husband,
让·皮埃尔·布兰查德
Jean-Pierre Blanchard?
没听过
No
著名的热气球驾驶员
The famous balloonist?
是吗那你到这里就是宾至如归了
Oh, right. Well, you should feel right at home here.
1785年我的丈夫
Well, in 1785, my husband
成为史上第一个乘气球横跨海峡的人
became the first man to ever cross the Channel in a balloon,
而我作为第一个女性专业热气球驾驶员
and I am something of a pioneer of aeronautics myself
也成为了航♥空♥学先锋人物
being the first woman to ever work as a professional balloonist.
真了不起干得漂亮
Oh, well, that's amazing, well done you,
布兰查德夫人
Madame Blanchard.
但过多的氦气对你身体不好
But too much helium can be bad for you.
我已经死了记着点
I'm already dead, keep up.
不好意思请继续
Sorry, do continue.
是气球害得我那样的
It was the balloon.
在我亲爱的受人爱戴的丈夫死后
Well, after the death of my dear, beloved husband,
我继续着气球事业
I continued ballooning,
1819年我在巴黎上空飞行
and in 1819, I did an ascent over Paris.
我希望那成为所有人都难忘的景象
I wanted it to be a sight that no one would ever forget.
因此我在高空燃放了一些烟花
So I set off some fireworks at a great height.
倒回去一点你在气球里燃放烟花
Oh! Rewind. You let off some fireworks in a balloon?
可能不是我最明智的主意
Probably not my best idea.
某个烟花点燃了气球燃气然后
One of the fireworks ignited the balloon gas and...
当烟花散尽
When a firework display ends,
内心会有些空虚
it can leave you feeling a little flat.
找到笑点了吗散尽空虚你
Huh, do you get it? Splat, flat, you!
你可以去投胎啦
You're through to the afterlife.
谢谢
Merci.
小心台阶有点高
Oh, mind the step, there's a bit of a drop,
不过我猜你已经习惯了
but I suppose you're used to that.
有时我真喜欢这份工作真心喜欢
Sometimes I love this job. I do, though, I do.
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time, it's not you
卑微的中世纪
我们能了解这么多中世纪早期的情况
Much of what we know about the early Middle Ages
得益于将每年重大事件
is thanks to monks who wrote a chronicle
写进编年史的僧侣们
of all the important events of each year.
撒克逊世界发生着很多事情
There's a lot going on in the Saxon world.
多年来几乎不可能被完全记录下来
And for years it's been almost impossible to keep up.
我们被入侵
We've got invasions.
内战
Civil War.
撒克逊人
Saxons.
盎格鲁人朱特人
Angles. Jutes.
丹麦人维京人
Danes. Vikings.
诺曼人
Normans.
鬼知道还有谁
And goodness knows what else.
现在不必担心错过什么了多亏了
And now you won't have to miss a thing, thanks to...
《盎格鲁撒克逊编年杂♥志♥》
Anglo Saxon Chronicle Magazine,
来自伍斯特阿宾登彼得伯勒
from Worcester, Abingdon, Peterborough.
是的你能在中世纪英格兰这五个地点
Yes, you can read the Anglo Saxon Chronicle
伍斯特彼得伯勒阿宾登温彻斯特坎特伯雷
中的任何一处读到盎格鲁撒克逊编年史
in any of these five locations in Middle Ages England.
看看埃尔夫格伯爵
Read how Earl Aelfgar
是如何因承认叛国而被审判
was outlawed for admitting being a traitor.
等等根据我的伍斯特版本
Well, hang on. According to my Worcester version,
他几乎没做错什么就被判决了
he was outlawed despite having done very little wrong.
根据我们阿宾登版本的记载
Yeah, in our Abingdon issue
他根本没做错任何事
it says that he didn't do anything wrong.
谁能查查看我们是在讲同一个故事吗
Is someone checking we're all telling the same story?
我没有我们想写什么就写什么
I'm not. We've just been writing whatever we want.
我们也是
Yeah. Us too.
如果人们发现我们在讲
What happens when everyone finds out
不同版本的历史怎么办
we're telling different versions of history?
不太可能反正它们是禁书
Not much. They're not allowed to read it anyway.
只有僧侣可以读
It's for monks only.
很好很好如果你不说我也不会说
Cool, cool. Well, I won't tell anyone if you won't.
我肯定不会说我发誓会保持缄默
I definitely won't, I'm taking a vow of silence.
一劳永逸
There goes the key.
《盎格鲁撒克逊编年杂♥志♥》
Anglo Saxon Chronicle.
撒克逊英格兰每个人都应该读的杂♥志♥
The magazine everyone in Saxon England should read.
只要他们是僧侣
Well, as long as they're Monks.
你不是发誓保持缄默吗
What happened to the vow of silence?
从现在开始
Starting now.
僧侣就是那个时代的复印机
Those Monks were the copying machines of their day,
直到印刷术的发明
until the invention of the printing press.
历史版飞黄腾达
早上好
Good morning.
早上好唐勋爵
Good morning, Lord Sugar.
你们哪边是僧侣队
Now, which one of you is Team Monk?
那是个笑话我在开玩笑观众真冷
That was a joke, I'm joking, it's a tough crowd.
这个星期的任务相当简单
This week's task was perfectly simple.
我要求你们做的只是尽可能多地
All I asked you lot to do was to make as many copies as possible
复♥制♥这本畅销书《圣经》
of this bestseller, the Bible.
那么僧侣队谁是项目经理
So, Team Monk, who was your project manager?
我知道这间会议室挺吓人的
Look, I know this boardroom's intimidating,
但我不会咬人的