糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S05E06

Part 4 Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.

*He'll found the dynasty
[人称"埃及艳后" 托勒密王朝的最后一任法老]
终止于克利奥帕特拉*
*That ends with Cleopatra
接着他是赫费斯提翁*
*Then, there's Hephaestian
[亚历山大的挚友且很有可能是其精神上的同性恋人]
我最好的朋友啊*
*My best friend, of course
如果不算布西发拉斯*
*Unless you count Bucephalus
因为它是匹马*
*But he's a horse
干嘛拉着一张长脸我的朋友
Why the long face, my friend?
不管怎样总体来说*
*Anyway, together
帝国渐渐扩张*
*It was going grand
直到小赫跟小布死后*
*Till Heph and Bucy died
士兵开始反抗*
*And my men took a stand
我希望继续征战*
*I wanted to continue
但手被绑无法打开*
*But my hands were tied
于是我坐在帐篷里*
*So I sat in my tent and
哭了起来*
*I cried
亚历山大*
*Alexander
战士的殒灭啊*
*No more a fighter
征战不得不停下*
*Adventures had to stop
公元前323年我倒下*
*Cos 323BC saw me drop
死了
Dead!
愚蠢
开路人
现在是1928年
It's 1928
历史版垃圾斗士
历史版垃圾斗士路易和戴夫
and historical grimefighters, Louis and Dave,
来到位于伦敦圣玛丽医院的
have come to the laboratory of scientist Alexander Fleming
亚历山大·弗莱明的实验室
科学家亚历山大·弗莱明的实验室
in St Mary's Hospital, London.
是的我们和弗莱明先生之间曾有过节
Yeah, we've had problems with Mr Fleming before.
他是个才华横溢的科学家可能吧
He's a brilliant scientist, supposedly.
但他肯定不是个才华横溢的清理者
But he's not a brilliant tidy-upper,
这点我可以给你打包票
I can tell you that for nothing!
瞧瞧这里比你的卧室还要脏戴夫
Oh, crikey, this is worse than your bedroom, this is, Dave.
到处都是肮脏的坩埚和培养皿
There's dirty pots and dishes everywhere,
全部充斥着感染性极高的细菌
full of highly-infectious bacteria.
难以置信戴夫
I don't believe this, Dave!
他一直在做细菌实验
He's been experimenting with bacteria
他出门旅行前居然没有把它们清理干净
and he's gone on holiday without tidying up after himself first!
一点不假
这个培养皿里面都长霉了
There's mould in that Petri dish.
他终于回来了杜立德医生
Oh, here he comes, Dr Dolittle.
[喜剧电影《怪医杜立德》里的人物能与动物交流]
怎么回事
What's going on?
跟你说朋友
Tell you what's going on, mate,
你得把这间实验室清理干净
you're going to clean up this laboratory,
就从这边的霉菌开始
starting with that mould there.
太不可思议了
Extraordinary!
没那么夸张朋友
Not really, mate.
这就是自顾自出去度假
That's what happens when you go on holiday
-不清理培养皿的后果 -看快看
- and leave your dirty dishes. - Look, look.
这盘上的葡萄球菌完全正常对吧
The Staphylococci bacteria on this is completely normal, right?
但在这一盘上它却被霉菌杀灭了
Whereas in this dish, it's been destroyed by the mould.
你知道这意味着什么吗
Do you know what this means?
该死的霉菌Bloom"也作"培育"讲]
Blooming strong mould.
没错我必须再培育一些
Exactly. I must grow some more!
我可不这么认为朋友
Erm, I don't think so, mate.
戴夫拿霉菌杀灭剂来
Dave, the mould killer.
不停下来你没有听懂对吧
No, stop! Look, you don't understand, right?
这种霉菌抑制了其他细菌生长
This mould stops other bacteria from growing.
这可能是个十分重要的医学发现
I mean, this could be a really important medical discovery!
将来我们可以利用它来治疗感染
One day, we could use this to treat infections.
弗莱明的发现是一场意外
得了吧医生医生我病得不轻
Oh, right! "Doctor, doctor, I'm feeling really ill!"
不要紧我给你来点霉菌
"Oh, it's all right, here's some mould!"
说不定今后能靠它拿个奖呢
I reckon I'll win a prize for this one day.
没错你肯定能拿奖
Yeah, you will, mate
1928年度"最脏实验室"得主
The Filthiest Laboratory Award, 1928.
你的奖杯
Here's your reward.
戴夫快点咱们走吧
Right, come on, Dave, let's get out of here.
我要谢谢我妈她从不让我打扫自己房♥间
I'd like to thank me mum for never making me clean my room!
恶心
Disgusting!
叽哩咕噜够了没有戴夫
That's enough of your jibber-jabber, Dave.
历史版垃圾斗士
弗莱明医生的确发现了青霉素
Dr Fleming had actually discovered penicillin,
这种抗生素被广泛沿用至今
an antibiotic which is still widely used today.
1945年他获得了诺贝尔奖
And in 1945, he shared a Nobel Prize.
我窝里也繁殖了不少霉菌
I've grown plenty of mould
怎么就没有谁给我颁过奖
and I've never been given a prize for it.
在20世纪初
Back in the early 1900s,
另一名愚蠢的开路人正在寻找出名的机会
another potty pioneer was making his name.
糟糕历史电影展销会
欧内斯特·沙克尔顿项目
各位好我带来的是
Hello. I'm here to pitch
史上最伟大的冒险故事之一
one of the greatest adventure stories in history
我们队伍的南极历险记
my team's journey to Antarctica.
南极史考特我们最不希望听到的
Listen, Scotty of the Antarctic, the last thing we want to hear
[此处恶搞Star Trek人物同时一位英国极地探险家名为Scott]
就是一群人跑到南极拿了个第二名
is a boring story about a bunch of guys who got to the South Pole second
然后在回来的路上都被冻死了
and then all froze to death on the way home!
来点"热"情些的段子吧
Talk about a story without any warmth!
沉闷死了
Depressing.
不我想你们可能是误会了
No, no, I think there's been some confusion.
我不是斯科特
I'm not Scott.
1912年斯科特去世了
Scott died on his way back
死在了从南极回来的路上
from the South Pole in 1912.
那你一定就是亚孟森
Ah, you must be Amundsen,
比斯科特早33天抵达南极的那个挪威人
the Norwegian guy who got there 33 days before Scott!
这就有点意思了
Now, that's more interesting.
他用狗来拉雪橇
Apparently, he used dogs to pull the sledges.
难不成那些狗会说话
Were these talking dogs?
女士和流浪汉一起滑雪我同意
Lady and the tramp go skiing?! It's a "yes" from me!
不不我也不是亚孟森
No, no, I'm not Amundsen, either.
我是欧内斯特·沙克尔顿
I'm Ernest Shackleton.
所以你既不是第一
So you weren't first
也不是第二个抵达南极点的
or second to the South Pole?
事实上我从来没有抵达过南极点
Well, actually, my team never made it, at all.
太好了主角是衰人的电影
Oh, great! Because films about massive losers who don't achieve anything
总是可以"大卖♥♥"
make such big hits.
你们离目的还差多远
How close did you get?
大概200英里吧
About 200 miles.
是要演喜剧吗
Is this a comedy?!
不是扣人心弦的冒险
No, it's a thrilling adventure!
把我传送走吧北极斯考特
Oh, beam me up, Scotty of the Arctic!
[恶搞Star Trek演绎出的流行语"Beam me up, Scotty
我实在是听不下去了
I want out of this meeting!
我们的探索之旅的确失败了
So our voyage of discovery was something of a failure,
但是后面发生的事情却相当了不起
but it's what happened next, that's the amazing story.
我们的船"持久号♥" 在冰中被困九个月
Our ship, The Endurance, got stuck in the ice for nine months.
久而久之浮冰把船体给弄破了
Eventually, the force of the ice cracked the hull of the ship
我们不得不弃船而走
and we had to abandon it,
大部队都待在冰原上等待
leaving most of the men behind on the frozen beach,
我们一行六个人乘划艇前去求助
six of us went for help in a small rowing boat.
听起来有意思了
OK, you've got my attention.
在极为艰难的情况下
We travelled for 800 miles in two weeks,
我们两周内前进了八百英里
in the most horrendous conditions.
然后发生了什么
And then what happened?
我们在南乔治亚岛登陆
We landed on the island of South Georgia,
我们知道那里有捕鲸队的分站
where we knew there was a whaling station,
但我们登错边了
but we were on the wrong side of the island.
路途中间还有一大♥片♥山区
In our way was a huge mountain range.
难以置信的是我们中有三个人
Incredibly, three of us managed
走过了大山
to make it across and
开着租来的船将所有人都救了
charter a boat to rescue the rest of the men.
更了不起的是大伙全都活下来了
Amazingly, every single one of them survived!
他们活下来了他们活下来了
They're alive! They're alive!
小子我决定为此拍一部电影