糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E04
Part 2
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
坐立和装死
Sitz and play deadz.
我们很快就能建成神犬谍网
Soon we will have a spy network of dogs.
盟军肯定措手不及
Well, the Allied forces certainly won't be expecting that.
不过新兵们还是有个小毛病
There is just one small problem with our new recruits.
什么毛病
What's that?
随地大小便
There are some hygiene issues.
罗尔夫说 对不起
Oh! Rolf says sorry.
它确实该内疚
I bet he does.
惊奇的是 希♥特♥勒♥竟然是个动物爱好者
Bizarrely, Hitler was an animal lover,
科学家们让他相信了
and was convinced by scientists
动物可能是很好的间谍
that animals might make good spies.
所以他批准了动物语言学校
So he approved the animal talking school.
动物会说话 怎么可能
Animals talking? As if that's possible!
是的 二战期间许多动物都参与了工作
Yes, many animals were put to work during World War II.
意大利
我们需要更多的弹♥药♥ 沃伊切赫下士
We need more ammo! Corporal Wojciech!
怎么能要求军衔比你高的人给你拿弹♥药♥
You can't ask someone with a senior rank to fetch your ammo.
这位下士就可以
You can ask this Corporal.
熊 有只熊 有只熊
A bear! There's a bear, there's a bear!
没错 那是沃伊切赫下士
Yes, that's Corporal Wojciech.
它是只熊
Er, it's a bear.
当然 但根据它的档案
Of course, but according to his paperwork,
它是一名波兰下士
he's a Polish Corporal.
在它还是熊崽时 我们部队收养了它
My unit adopted him as bear cub,
但当我们转移时
but when we moved,
它只有入伍 才能被允许上船
the only way he was allowed on the ship was if he was enlisted.
所以它现在是沃伊切赫下士
So now he's Corporal Wojciech.
但他仍是只熊
But he's s till a bear.
不用担心 沃伊切赫不会伤人
Don't worry, Wojciech's harmless,
它只负责运输弹♥药♥
he just carries ammunition around.
它不会伤害你 除非把炸♥药♥筒弄掉了
He won't hurt you, unless he drops a shell, obviously.
你刚才真吓到我了
Oh! Oh, you had me then!
凶残的维京人
我们维京人住在很偏远的地带
We Vikings lived in some pretty remote places,
食物紧缺 所以什么奇怪的东西都吃
and food could be scarce, so we ate all sorts of unusual stuff.
吃的来了 男士们
Tuck's up, boys.
我们应该没有黄油了吧
Hey, I thought we'd run out of butter?
是没有了 这是海豹油
We did. This is seal blubber.
一股鱼腥味
Oh, it tastes like fish.
味道不错吧 猜猜我们叫它什么
Isn't it great? Guess what we've called it.
难以置信你居然让我吃海豹油
I can't believe you got me eating seal blubber.
答对了
That's right!
难以置信你居然让我吃海豹油
I can't believe you got me eating seal blubber.
[恶搞代黄油品牌I can't believe it's not butter]
等一下 培根味道很怪
Oh, hang on. This bacon tastes funny.
因为它用了...
That's because it's been fried in...
难以置信你用海豹油炸东西
I can't believe you fried my food in seal blubber!
答对了
That's right!
难以置信你用海豹油炸东西
I can't believe you fried my food in seal blubber!
够了 我不吃午饭了 回去工作
Right, that's it, I'm skipping lunch, going back to work,
给船底涂油防止虫蛀
covering the bottom of the boats to prevent woodworm.
一起来吧 鲍勃
Come on, Bob.
知道你需要什么吗
You know what you're going to need?
不会是 "难以置信我把海豹油
Not, "I can't believe I'm covering the bottom of my longship
涂在长船船底防蛀虫"吧
in seal blubber to prevent woodworm!"?
答对了 海豹油
That's right! Seal blubber.
难以置信我把海豹油涂在长船船底
能食用 能炸食物 能用来涂船底
You can eat it, fry thingsin it, cover the bottom of your boat in it.
警告 在生产本产品时许多海豹被杀害
Waring: Seals were hurt in the manufacture of these products.
很多很多海豹
Lots and lots of seals.
我们根本不吃海豹肉 而是直接扔掉
We don't eat the meat of we can help it, we just chuck it away
因为它比海豹油更难吃
it tastes even worse than the blubber.
斯堪的纳维亚
维京人在定居点吃海豹油
Vikings ate seal blubber in settlements
冰岛
比如冰岛
like their one in Iceland.
叫这个名字是因为那里很冷
So named because it was, well, icy.
当红胡子埃里克被流放时
When Eric the Red was exiled
他想去更冷的地方定居
and wanted to start his own settlement somewhere even icier,
格陵兰
他不得不忽悠其他维京人加入他
he had to fool other Vikings into joining him.
你好 我是红胡子埃里克
Hi, I'm Eric the Red.
你是一位想重新开始的维京人吗
Are you are Viking looking for a fresh start?
为什么不去一个阳光普照的乐园呢
Then why not move to the sundrenched paradise
那里植物繁茂 万物昌盛
that's so green and fertile.
我们叫它格陵兰
We've called it Greenland.
我们搬过来 只是因为你被流放出冰岛
We only moved here because you were exiled from Iceland
还想在别处称老大
and wanted to be chieftain of somewhere else.
妈妈
Mum!
要是没有找到能够被你统治的人
Well, what's the point of being chieftain of Greenland
做格陵兰首领的意义在哪里
unless you find some people to rule?
别听她的
Don't listen to her.
马格努斯刚搬来 他爱这里
Magnus just moved here and he loves it.
我爱这里
I love it.
我们在寻找年轻的维京人来格陵兰
We're looking for young Vikings to come and join the
参加派...派对
p-p-p-party here in Greenland.
给我倒杯酒 马格努斯
Pour me a drink, Magnus.
不行 啤酒结冰了
I can't, the beer is frozen.
看 罐子结冰冻在我手上了
And look, the jug is frozen to my hand.
我有了罐子手
I've got a jug hand!
别相信你刚听到的
Don't believe what you've heard,
这里气候宜人 土地肥沃
the weather here is great and the land is so fertile.
不然为什么叫它格陵兰[绿色大♥陆♥]呢
Why else would we call it Greenland?
为了忽悠人们搬来这里
To encourage people to move here
即使这里天寒地冻 没有食物
even though it's freezing and there's no food.
妈妈
Mum.
我大拇指冻掉了
I've lost a thumb!
一定是因为太热了 它想找个地方乘凉
It must have got so hot it went to find some shade.
住在这里无比幸运
We are so lucky to live here.
这就是妈妈来到格陵兰的原因
That's why mum's gone to Greenland!
你个蠢孩子
Oh, you stupid boy.
妈妈来到格陵兰的原因
我要去拿毛皮外衣 这里冷死了
Now get me my furs. I'm freezing here!
没错 红胡子埃里克被冰岛驱逐
It's true. Eric the Red was banished from Iceland
在格陵兰建立了一处殖民地
and founded a colony on Greenland instead.
他取这个名字是为了忽悠人们搬去那里
He called it that to fool people into living there,
即使那里的冬天异常寒冷
even though the winters were actually very, very cold.
把红胡子埃里克都冻蓝了
Making Eric the Red more Eric the B-b-b-b-b-blue.
腐朽古罗马
《汝被拍了》古罗马特别篇
It's the, "Thou hast been framed!" Roman special.
汝被拍了
欢迎来到扎马战场
Welcome to the Battle of Zama,
迦太基的汉尼拔对战古罗马的西庇阿
Hannibal of Carthage versus Scipio of Rome.
汉尼拔正准备进击
Here's Hannibal getting ready to rumble.
我要用我的大象去攻击罗马人 好极了
I'm sending my elephants to attack the Romans. Awesome!
出击
Charge!
但罗马人用喇叭惊吓了大象
But the Romans have scared the elephants with trumpets!
它们跑回来了
They're coming back.
快跑啊
Let's get out of here!
谁能想到我会被自己的大象追
Who'd have thought I'd get chased by my own elephants?
汉尼拔的军队真的被自己的大象追过
我称之为迦太基大屠♥杀♥
That's what I call Carthage carnage.
或迦太杀
Or Catharnage.
汝被拍了
或大屠基 你明白我的意思了
Or Carnathage. Oh, you get the point.
庄严的时刻 奥古斯都亲自
A solemn moment. Caesar Augustus himself
拜访亚历山大大帝之墓
visiting the tomb of Alexander the Great.
史上最伟大的两个人位于同一屋檐下
Two of the greatest men in history under one roof,
值得纪念的一天
a day to remember.
马其顿亚历山大大帝 向你致敬
Alexander of Macedon, I honour your memory.
该死 你做了什么
Dame! What have you done?
我不小心把他鼻子扯下来了
I pulled his nose off by accident.
奥古斯都
Caesar Augustus there,
真的发生过
赢了最著名的将军一只鼻子
winning the most famous general in a room, by a nose.
这场面可不大好
Oh, dear, I don't like the look of this.
疯狂的尼禄皇帝在干什么
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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