糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E10
Part 3
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:17 p.m.
为了夺回来
In order to get it back,
教皇坚持要我们发动全面战争
the Pope has insisted we launch a full scale war.
这是真事
-就为了个桶 -是祭典上用的桶
- Over a bucket? - It's a ceremonial bucket.
就算是魔法桶我都不在乎
I don't care if it's a magic bucket.
-我们损失了1000人 -1001个
- We've lost 1,000 men. - 1,001.
对不起 朋友 1001个
Sorry, mate, 1,001.
我以为这是圣♥战♥ 教会对战帝国
I thought this was a Holy War, church against Empire,
不是什么因木桶而起的争端
not some squabble over a bucket.
莱兹队长 找到了吗
Captain Liza, any luck?
没看见那个桶 长官
No sign of the bucket, sir.
但我找到了个杯子
But I did find this cup.
莱兹 我跟你说过 必须得是桶
Oh, Liza, I told you it has to be the bucket.
什么样子
Well, what does it look like?
大概这么大
Well, it's about so big, erm,
硬橡木做的 敞着口
made of solid oak, it's got an opening...
看起来就像个桶呗
Well, it looks like a bucket!
我们不能买♥♥个新的吗
Can't we just buy a new one?
不行 这个桶是博洛尼亚城市尊严的象征
No, this bucket is a symbol of Bologna's civic pride,
决不允许这些摩德纳杂种从我们这儿偷走
and we cannot allow those dogs from Modena to take it from us.
所以教皇才下命令
That is why the Pope has commanded
让我们杀过去夺回它
we get out there and get it back.
那就快杀过去 夺回它
So, get out there and get it back.
听您的
As you command.
对了 莱兹 你可别弄坏了
And, Liza, make sure you don't damage it.
我可不想让桶里有个洞 亲爱的莱兹
I don't want a hole in my bucket, dear Liza.
好吧 听我的命令 冲啊
OK, right, on my command then. Charge!
冲啊
Charge!
看起来他踢到桶了[死了]
It looks like he kicked the bucket.
不合适吗
Too soon?
为了个桶就打仗真不值
Fancy going to war over a bucket.
下面这群人为争夺英格兰王位而战
This next lot were fighting over the Crown of England.
没错 亨利一世死后 他的女儿玛蒂尔达
Yes, when Henry I died, his daughter, Matilda,
想要成为女王
wanted to be queen,
但她的表兄斯蒂芬却另有打算
but her cousin, Stephen, had other ideas.
开战吧
Let battle commence.
诺曼王朝家谱
[ABBA歌♥曲混编]
这是我玛蒂尔达的故事*
*Here's the tale of me, Matilda
与表兄斯蒂芬斗争*
*And my fight with cousin Stephen
以继承亨利一世的王位*
*To succeed Henry I's throne
我妻子也叫玛蒂尔达*
*My wife's also called Matilda
错综复杂*
*Quite confusing because
因为我们说玛蒂尔达的王位属于自己*
*we choose to claim Matilda's throne's our own
吾乃亨利 玛蒂尔达之子*
*I'm Henry, that Matilda's son
懂了吗 此乃我们的争执之史*
*You got that? Here's the story of our spat
一切始于1135年*
*Starts in 1135
我父亲亨利一世告别人间*
*When King Henry - my father - died
愿灵安息
你会发现他继承人的名字*
*And I think you'll find named me
是我玛蒂尔达*
*Matilda as his heir
但他外甥斯蒂芬扬言*
*But his nephew Stephen said
国王应是我的头衔*
*That crown should be upon my head
我是男人 男士优先*
*I'm a man and men come first
这才是公平起见*
*What? It's only fair
嫁给安茹的杰弗里*
*Had married Geoffrey of Anjou
被困法国而非滑铁卢*
*Stuck in France, not Waterloo
当斯特芬擅自做主*
*When Steve, without a voulez-vous
夺走了我的王位*
*Took throne from me
本该成为女王*
*Should be Dancing Queen
别在那无理取闹*
*Oh, stop causing such a scene
给我王位 给我次机会*
*Gimme gimme crown and take a chance on me
我才是继承人 才不是你*
*I'm heir to the throne, not you
我想看见你把它夺回*
*Think you'll get it back, now that I'd like to see
我会 我会 我会的*
*Oh, I do, I do, I do
林肯之役*
*Fought in Lincoln
我被她俘虏*
*She caught me
宣布我是英国第♥一♥夫♥人♥*
*Was proclaimed first English Lady
但她树了太多敌*
*But she made many enemies
记得我吗 我是斯蒂芬之妻*
*Remember me? I'm Stephen's wife
让皇家顾问同意*
*Made Royal counsellors agree
她缺乏女性气质*
*That she lacked femininity
率领斯蒂芬军队包围她*
*Took Stephen's army and besieged her
斗争又多了*
*Ugh, more strife
我被困住 所以假死*
*I was trapped, so faked my death
藏于棺材 屏息逃离*
*Hid in coffin, held my breath escaped
你以为我中计了吗*
*You think that I'm impressed?
才不呢*
*Well, I'm not
看看我抓了谁*
*Just look who I've got
你同父异母的兄弟 想交换吗*
*Your half brother, want to swap?
还我老公*
*Gimme gimme hubbie
我们再战*
*And we'll fight again
胜者获得一切*
*The winner takes it all
会在牛津包围你*
*In Oxford I'll besiege
我会再逃脱*
*And I'll escape and then
我会加入战斗前线*
*I'll join the battle call
十四岁的我战败*
*Age 14, I fought but lost
让斯蒂芬舅舅做了老大*
*So Uncle Stephen stayed as boss
谁该是统治者 妈妈*
*Who should be ruler, mamma?
我啊*
*Me-a!
我们继续开战*
*Here we go again
可怜我亲爱的玛蒂尔达*
*Sadly my darling Matilda
高烧不退害死了她*
*Caught a fever and it killed her
我放弃了建皇朝的梦*
*I gave up my dream to build a royal dynasty
我儿子死后*
*When my son died
无继承人 陷入窘境*
*Had no heir, which was a bind
给我王位 接♥班♥人是我*
*Gimme gimme crown Cos next in line it's me
我死了你就能得到*
*You can have it when I'm done
玛蒂尔达皇后从未当过女王*
*So Empress Matilda never did make queen
王位给了我儿子*
*The throne went to my son
知母 知你*
*Knowing Mum, knowing you
众乐乐乎 好极了*
*Everybody happy? Good
华丽的乔治王朝
乔治时代发生了一场工业上的革命
The Georgian era saw a revolution in industry.
你们可以称之为"工业革命"
You might call it an Industrial Revolution.
有了纺织机
Why make textiles by hand
又何必手工纺织呢
when you can invent a machine to make them for you?
历史版飞黄腾达
早上好
Morning.
-早上好 唐勋爵 -你好
- Morning, Lord Sugar. - Hi.
本周的任务是赚钱
This week's task was all about making dosh,
我们所有任务都是为了赚钱
which is all our tasks are about,
所以我要更明确一些 卡伦
so I'll be more specific, Karren.
我要你们从纺织业赚钱
I asked you to made dosh from textiles.
你们的队名是什么 卡伦
So, what's the name of your team, Karren?
对 没错
Yes, that's right.
不 队名是什么
No, what's the name?
这就是
Indeed it is.
不 它叫什么
No, what is it called?
就叫什么
It's what.
我先问的
I asked first.
不 瓦特队
No, as in Team Watt,
取自苏格兰发明家与工程师詹姆斯·瓦特
as in James Watt the Scottish inventor and engineer.
[What什么与Watt瓦特同音]
就是鄙人
That's my name, don't wear it out.
搞得我好像蠢蠢的
Well, don't I look stupid.
-赞成 -才不
- Aye. - No, I don't.
你看上去才蠢 因为你有个蠢姓
You're the one that looks stupid cos you got a stupid name.
尼克 你们队的队名是否更合理一点
Nick, please tell me your team's got a more sensible name?
珍妮队
Team Jenny.
好多了
Oh, that's much better.
我猜你是珍妮
So I'm guessing you're Jenny?
不 我是玛丽
No, I'm Mary.
珍妮取自我们的珍妮纺纱机
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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