糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E09
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:17 p.m.
兰伯特·西姆诺与波金·沃贝克*
*Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck
自称王位继承者*
*Said my throne was their own
曾经伦敦塔中困*
*They claimed they'd been princes
本是王子应恢复*
*In the Tower, their rule delayed
可三人为王我嫌挤*
*I said "This crown ain't big enough for the three of us"
杀掉一个我心安*
*And had one slayed
[亨利赦免了尚在幼龄 实为傀儡的兰伯特·西姆诺]
都铎始祖就是我*
*I'm the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
外交手腕我最灵*
*King of foreign policy
敌国关系我缓解*
*To end hostile relations with enemy nations
友好往来敌意消*
*I asked them to make friends with me
都铎始祖就是我*
*Yeah, the original Tu-Tu-Tu-Tudor
传闻人生没劲透*
*They say dullness's my main trait
传闻如今也能信*
*Well, that's a sad indictment
若是你寻求刺♥激♥*
*Cos if you're looking for excitement
我儿亨利八世继*
*My son was Henry VIII
可怕古埃及
历史版
交换女主人
古埃及版
本周《历史版交换女主人》中
This week on Historical Wife Swap,
埃及农民
埃及农民家庭交换女主人的对象是...
these Egyptian peasants will be doing the wife swap with...
拉姆西斯二世和妮菲塔莉
拉姆西斯二世和他的妻子 妮菲塔莉
Pharaoh Ramesses II and his wife, Nefertari.
看看这两对差异巨大的夫妇如何相处
So, how will these different ancient Egyptian couples get on?
你谁啊
Oh! Who are you?
-法老太太 -你不是该在我家吗
- Mrs Pharaoh. - Shouldn't you be at my house?
是在你家啊 我是二太太
Mrs Pharaoh is at your house, I'm Mrs Pharaoh number two.
拉姆西斯二世有六个老婆...
Ramesses II's got six wives...
贪了点儿
A bit greedy.
...和两百个情人
...and 200 girlfriends.
真事
我就是伟大的拉之子 拉之选
I am the Great Pharaoh Born of Ra, Chosen of Ra,
[拉是古埃及赫里奥波里斯的太阳神]
强大才是真理的拉 半王半神
for Powerful is the Truth of Ra, Half King, Half God,
掌握一切的拉姆西斯二世
Master of All I Survey, Ramesses II,
我的名字我骄傲 你是...
glory be to my name. And you are...?
苏珊
Susan.
能见到我 你真荣幸
An honour for you to meet me.
来看看法老的大太太妮菲塔莉
So, what will Nefertari, the Pharaoh's number one wife,
跟农民先生相处得怎样
make of Mr Peasant?
-殿下 -起来吧 农民
- Oh, Your Majesty. - Get up, peasant,
但别看我啊
but don't look at me.
农民连看都不能看妮菲塔莉
什么味道 好难闻
Oh, what's that terrible smell?
可能是我 殿下
It could be me, Your Majesty.
我刚在沙漠里拖了两顿重的岩石
I've been dragging two-ton boulders round the desert
帮您的丈夫建造神庙
to help build your husband's temple.
不 贱民 你确实臭气熏天
No, you do stink, peasant,
但还有其他的臭味
but it's much worse than that.
可能是我放在地上的羚羊屎
Oh, it could be the gazelle dung I've put on the floor.
你为何这么做
Why on earth would you do that?
-防止那些老鼠靠近我的食物 -老鼠
- Keeps the rats away from food. - Rats!
他们确实这么干
也可能是墙的气味 它们都是用粪便做的
Or, it could be the walls, they're made of manure,
恰逢上个月尼罗河淹过小屋
and the Nile flooded the hut last month,
所以它们有点 怎么说 粘乎乎的吧
so they're still a bit, how shall I put it, sweaty.
-我还真是喜欢这里 -太好了
- I can tell I'm going to just love it here. - Great.
同时 在宫殿这边 晚餐时间到了
Meanwhile, over at the palace, it's dinner time.
拿着 贱民 尝尝这些
Here, peasant, try one of these.
这是什么 法老
What is it, my Pharaoh?
蜜汁蚱蜢
Locust in honey.
古埃及人的佳肴
真好吃
That's delicious.
我今晚想早点睡了
I feel I'm going to grab an early night.
我得在太阳出来前起床 这是当然的
I have to be up before the sun comes up. Well, obviously I do.
毕竟我是唤醒太阳的男人
I'm the one who gets the sun up.
他们坚信是法老让太阳升起来
我刚开了个玩笑
I done a joke.
这才像话
That's more like it.
你不会相信的
You won't believe this,
王宫的床上有石头做的枕头
the royal palace has got beds with comfy pillows made of stone.
而且上厕所时得坐在像椅子一样的东西上
And a sort of seat thing that you sit on to go to toilet.
他们还能想出什么花样来
What will they think of next?
再看看贱民家中的晚餐时间
And it's also dinner time in the peasant hut.
不好意思 王后 我们这蚊子略多
Sorry, Your Majesty, we do get a lot of mosquitoes,
住在尼罗河边就这点不好
that's the downside of living near the Nile.
所幸的是 尼罗河每年都会泛滥
The plus side is that the Nile floods,
所以这里的土地很肥沃
so the soil here is very fertile.
当洪水泛滥时 我们农民就休耕几个月
And when it does flood, we farmers get a few months off
去沙漠那边 为法老搬运两吨♥重的巨石
to go to the desert and drag around two-ton boulders for the Pharaoh.
那至少可以让你远离这些蚊子
Well, at least it gets you away from all these mosquitoes.
但也离那些致命的蝎子更近了
And nearer the deadly scorpions!
您不想吃洋葱吗
Do you not want your onion?
-不许看着我 -不好意思
- Don't look at me. - Sorry.
你一定不会相信我在哪睡
You're not going to believe where I had to sleep.
地上铺些稻草就是床 你没听错
On some straw on the floor. Yes, that's right.
睡在满是羚羊屎的地上
On the floor with all the gazelle poop.
我身上绝对长虱子了
I swear I've got nits.
看看 这里就有一只
Oh, look, look, there's one.
奈菲尔塔利王后戴假发
我得扔了这假发
I'll have to throw this wig away.
历史版
交换女主人
古埃及版
交换女主人时间结束
The wife swap is at an end.
是时候让王室夫妻
And it's time for the royal couple
和贱民夫妻谈谈他们的体验
and the peasant couple to discuss their experiences.
我知道你在帮我建拉美西斯二世神庙
I understand you've been helping build my temple, the Ramessium.
这是你的无上光荣
What an honour for you.
我那十九米高的雕像怎么样
How looks the 19-metre statue of me?
实在是太宏伟了 法老
Oh, it is magnificent, Pharaoh.
尽管没有本人这么赞
Although not as impressive as the real thing.
你的工作完成了 但我有好消息告诉你
Ah, your work is done! But I have some good news for you.
我要你在我的神庙旁 为我最心爱的妻子
I would like you to build another massive temple alongside
再建一座巨大的神庙
for my favourite wife.
小拉美儿 你真是太贴心了
Romy baby, that's so sweet.
你也想要一座 是吗
Oh, you want one too, do you?
别随便度假
Don't book any holidays.
我们谈过这个 拉美
We did actually discuss this, Romy.
是吗 我不记得了
Did we? I don't remember.
是你自己喝得太多了吧
Well, you had a lot of palm wine to drink.
是你自己不直说
Well, you don't speak up.
你觉得我们能起身了吗 亲爱的
Do you think we can get up now, love?
-我可不敢 -好吧
- I wouldn't risk it. - No.
奈菲尔塔利王后深受脱发折磨
Queen Nefertari suffered from alopecia,
所以她戴了假发
so she wore a wig.
昂贵的埃及假发是由十二万根头发制成
Expensive Egyptian wigs were made of 120,000 human hairs
并用蜂蜡固定
held in place by beeswax.
您戴了假发吗 王后
Is that a wig, Your Majesty?
小心你自己的蜂蜡吧
"Oh! Mind your own beeswax."
邪恶的维多利亚时代
亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔是维多利亚时代
One of the most famous victorian inventors
最著名的发明家之一
was Alexander Graham Bell,
他发明了电♥话♥ 很熟悉吧
who came up with the telephone - ring a bell?
但他的设计是由美国发明家
But his design was to be improved
托马斯·爱迪生进行改良的
by American inventor Thomas Edison.
诸位日安
Good day to you.
爱迪生先生 您的电♥话♥
Mr Edison, telephone for you.
谢谢 什么意思
Thank you. What does it even mean?
不 我给您买♥♥了台电♥话♥
No, I bought you a telephone,
这是亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔的发明
it's a new invention by this guy, Alexander Graham Bell.
我觉得您可能感兴趣
I thought it might interest you.
它和我们正在做的声音传播实验相关
It ties in nicely with the experiments we're doing on the transmission of sound.
真的吗
Really?
有了它 就可以通过电缆和别人说话
It allows you to talk to somebody down a cable.
可以和身处不同♥房♥♥间的人说话
You can talk to somebody in a different room
或许将来还能在不同大楼之间通话
and, maybe, who knows, one day in a different building.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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