糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E05
Part 2
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
- Like dreams? - Yeah, dreams.
也管气味吗
And smells?
硬要这么说的话 也管
If you like, yeah.
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
隆重推出对抗瘟疫的最新武器
Introducing the latest weapon in the war against the plague.
臭臭罐
The Whiffy jar.
大家好 我是个斯图亚特大夫
Hello, I'm a Stuart doctor.
众所周知 瘟疫是通过臭气传播的
Now, we all know that the plague is spread by bad smells.
那么只有一个阻止它传播的办法
Well, there's only one way to stop it.
没错 就是以臭制臭
That's right, with more bad smells.
很有道理吧
Makes sense, doesn't it?
-不好说 -就是有道理
- Not really. - It makes sense!
就拿个罐子
You simply take a jar
尽你所能地收集一些废气
and collect as many guffs as possible in it.
只要有人感觉不舒服
Then as soon as anyone is feeling unwell
就让他们吸一下
you simply give them a whiff of it.
史上真实的斯图亚特瘟疫治疗法
好了 闻过之后感觉有没有好一点
There you go old boy, feeling any better now?
没有 我觉得病得更重了
No, if anything I feel worse.
你的屁比他的还臭
Oh! That's worse than his.
你真的要现在说这个吗 我都病了
Seriously, are we doing this now? I'm ill.
对不起
Sorry.
以下是药物原理
Here's how we think it works.
屁臭味
The bad air of the trump
击退携带瘟疫的坏气体
fights off the bad air that's carrying the plague.
彻底去除瘟疫
Leaving you 100% plague-free.
试验表明 臭气罐的效果
In tests, the Whiffy jar proved just as effective
可媲美用鸡屁♥股♥蹭瘟疫痛处
as wiping a chicken's bottom against your plague sores.
臭气罐
The Whiffy jar.
现在还有简易重充系统
Now with a new easy refill system.
趁还没死赶快买♥♥
Buy now while you last.
天哪 我们最好
Oh, dear, I think we better...
防患于未然嘛
Better safe than sorry.
臭气罐
The Whiffy jar...
优质屁♥股♥有售
Available from all good bottoms.
我们斯图亚特人
We Stuarts
可能在医药方面有点落后
may have had some slightly odd ideas about medicine
但确实有几位伟大的科学思想者
but we did have some great scientific thinkers.
查理二世建立皇家学会
So Charles II established the Royal Society
以便聚集起那些聪明人
as a place for clever folk to meet.
比如日记作家塞缪尔·佩皮斯
People like diarist Samuel Pepys,
以及天文学家埃德蒙·哈雷
and astronomer Edmund Halley.
皇家学会 1686年
喝茶 佩皮斯
Here is your tea, Pepys.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
"英国最受欢迎的日记作家
"Britain's favourite diarist
与哈雷先生共饮茶"
enjoyed a cup of tea with Mr Halley."
你什么都要记下来吗 佩皮斯
Must you write EVERYTHING down, Pepys?
如果一个人要把伦敦发生的一切写进日记
If a man is to keep a diary of everything that happens in London town,
那他必须在日记里记下伦敦发生的一切
he must keep a diary of EVERYTHING that happens in London town!
"机智的日记作家如是回答呆瓜天文学家"
"..Replied the quick-witted diarist to the bumbling astronomer."
完成了 完成了 终于完成了
It's finished, it's finished, it's finally finished!
"艾萨克·牛顿爵士
"Sir Isaac Newton
兴致高涨地走进皇家学会"
did enter the Royal Society in high spirits."
艾萨克·牛顿也是会员
事无巨细你都得记吗 佩皮斯
Must you write everything down, Pepys?
如果一个人要写日记
Oh, if a man is to keep a diary...
别问他 你完成了什么 牛顿
Don't get him started. So what have you finished, Newton?
科学史上最重要的著作
Only the single most important literary work in the history of science,
《原理》
the Principia.
牛顿的《原理》的确如此重要
包含万有引力定律
It contains the law of universal gravitation,
运动定律
the laws of motion,
经典力学的基础
the very foundations of classical mechanics.
叨叨叨叨 无聊
Blah, blah, blah, boring,
叨叨叨叨 犯困
blah, blah, blah, blah, yawn.
叨叨叨 叨叨叨
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
简直天才
Why, this is brilliant!
这会改变人们对万物运行的看法
This will change the way people understand the mechanical workings of the universe.
佩皮斯 皇家学会必须立刻将其发表
Pepys, the Royal Society must publish this forthwith.
有问题吗
Is there a problem?
我貌似花光了皇家学会的全部资金
It's just possible that I may have spent all of the Royal Society's money.
花在哪儿了
On what?
发表这个
On publishing this.
《鱼的历史》
The History of Fishes...
佩皮斯确实将学会的全部资金用在这里
"此时 所有人都认同
"At which point, everyone did agree,
《鱼的历史》
"The History of Fishes"
是史上最伟大的著作"
"Was the most marvellous book ever."
究竟谁会读
Who on earth needs to
关于鱼类历史的大部头啊
read a massive book on the history of fishes?
当然是鱼类历史学家了
Why, fish historians, of course!
"犀利的日记作家反驳道"
"Countered the razor-sharp diarist."
你认识几个鱼类历史学家
And how many fish historians do you know?
一个
One.
除了写这本书的家伙之外
Apart from the bloke who wrote the book!
没了
None.
你是个白♥痴♥ 写下来
You're an idiot. Write that down.
我才不要
Don't want to.
写下来
Write that down!
不要
Don't...
"我是个白♥痴♥
"'I am an idiot'
白♥痴♥佩皮斯写道"
wrote the idiot, Pepys."
我的羽毛笔
My quill...
好啦 好啦
All right, all right.
有一个办法解决 牛顿
There's a way we can work this out, Newton.
有吗
There is?
我不缺钱 挺富的 相当富
I am not without means myself. Loaded, yeah, pretty loaded.
我可以给你投资五十英镑
So perhaps I could advance you the 50 pounds you need
出版《原理》
to publish your Principia.
哈雷确实出资发表该书
但是哈雷 因为这位鱼脑袋
But Halley, thanks to fish brain here,
皇家学会现在一贫如洗了
the Royal Society is now penniless.
怎么还你的钱呢
How will it ever pay you back?
用未售出的《鱼的历史》
With unsold copies of The History of Fishes?
确实用这个还的哈雷
我估计冬天用得上
Useful in winter, I suppose.
"适于在炉火前阅读
"Good to read in front of an open log fire,
受欢迎的日记作家同意道"
"Agreed the popular diarist."
用来替代柴火很不错
Good to use instead of the logs.
是真的
It's true.
发现重力的艾萨克·牛顿爵士
Sir Isaac Newton, the man who discovered gravity,
因为一本关于鱼的大部头
nearly didn't have his most important book published at all
他最重要的著作差点儿没出版成
because of a big book about fish.
没骗你哦
I "Squid" You not.
[squid意为"鱿鱼
你来想个鱼类双关语试试看啊
All right, you come up with a better fishy pun then,
想好了告诉我
"Mullet" Over and let "Minnow"!
[Mullet鲻鱼 Minnow米诺鱼]
可悲的二战
你道德上反战吗?
你觉得互相残杀是错的吗?
你还想为战争出一份力吗?
那么来索比研究所吧
'Then come to the Sorby Research Institute
让我在你身上试验
and let me experiment on you!
我是肯尼斯·美兰比博士
I'm Dr Kenneth Mellanby
在这所谢菲尔德的普通郊区宅子里
and here in this ordinary suburban house in Sheffield,
我要让你染上
I'd like to give you
目前尚无治愈手段的可怕寄生虫
a horrible parasitic infection, for which there is no known cure!
确实有人自愿参加
好极了
Great.
来吧
Come on.
何不帮我们治愈疥疮呢
Why not help us cure scabies?
帮我们治愈疥疮
数百万士兵感染了疥疮
Scabies affects millions of soldiers
作为人类小白鼠
and by being a human guinea pig,
你能帮我们治愈它
you can help us cure it.
只需穿上染有疥疮的制♥服♥和内♥裤♥
Just wear some scabies-infested pants and uniform.
让微小的寄生虫侵入你皮肤
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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