糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E04
Part 3
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
What's that crazy Emperor Nero doing?
毋庸置疑是某种酷刑
Some kind of torture, no doubt.
火刑吗 把人劈成两半吗
Setting fire to someone? Cutting them in half?
放狼咬人吗 熊孩子
Setting wolves on them? Naughty boy.
我写了首曲子
I wrote this one myself.
名叫《在非常好看的台伯河岸》
It's called "By the bonny, bonny banks of the Tiber".
还以为他不能更残暴了呢
Just when you thought he couldn't get any crueller,
尼禄皇帝真的吹过风笛
没想到竟然还有吹风笛这一招 天啊
you find out he plays the bagpipes. Mercy!
广♥告♥过后 罗马的庞培将军
After the break, the Roman General Pompey
率领军队进入罗马
leads his parade into Rome
他的大象在一座凯♥旋♥门被卡住了
and gets his elephant trapped in a triumphal arch.
汝被拍了
公元前60年 在实行帝制之前
In 60 BC, before Rome was ruled by Emperors,
罗马是由三个强大人物共同统治的
it was run by an alliance of the three most powerful Romans.
[史称"前三头同盟
他们是庞培将军 尤利乌斯·恺撒
General Pompey, Julius Caesar,
以及有史以来最富有的罗马人
and the richest Roman of all time,
马库斯·李锡尼·克拉苏
Marcus Licinius Crassus.
他是个流氓
He was a rascal.
[戏仿英国饶舌歌♥手Dizzee Rascal歌♥曲Bonkers]
马库斯·李锡尼·克拉苏*
*I'm Marcus Licinius Crassus
再有钱不会比我更富*
*No rich man could ever surpass us
想让别人 称我英雄*
*Wanted people to say I was brave
首战落败 躲进山洞*
*But lost my first fight and hid in a cave
住在那里 贫民受苦*
*Living there could be a pauper's nightmare
富裕如我 继续享福*
*But if you're rich like me then you don't care
召唤奴隶 来到洞口*
*I called my slave to the cave to ask it
使用竹篮 送来酒肉*
*To cook a feast and lower in a basket
罗马人觉得他是富豪*
*There's Romans think they're minted
腰包鼓我第一*
*But they ain't rich like me
那点钱你不值得炫耀*
*You can't call yourself loaded
军队你买♥♥不起*
*Till you can buy an army
与庞培凯撒共掌罗马*
*Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar
他们比我有名*
*They're more famous than me
但我乃世上富豪老大*
*But I'm the world's richest geezer
比有钱无人敌*
*There's no-one richer than me
哥有的是钱*
*I'm minted
苏拉将军 由我资助*
*I back General Sulla
发财致富 日进斗金*
*Every day my wallet got fuller
侵略敌国 搜刮抢夺*
*Took the land off our enemies to flog it
中饱私囊 战利所得*
*Used the cash to fill my pocket
听说哪有 失火房♥屋*
*If I heard of a house on fire
赶到现场 压价买♥♥入*
*I'd rush over, be a quick cash buyer
消防出动 迅速灭火*
*My firemen would then douse the flames, boom
又一豪♥宅♥ 主人成我*
*Another big house to my name
罗马人觉得他是富豪*
*There's Romans think they're minted
腰包鼓我第一*
*But they ain't rich like me
那点钱你不值得炫耀*
*You can't call yourself loaded
军队你买♥♥不起*
*Till you can buy an army
与庞培凯撒共掌罗马*
*Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar
他们比我有名*
*They're more famous than me
但我乃世上富豪老大*
*But I'm the world's richest geezer
比有钱无人敌*
*There's no-one richer than me
哥有的是钱*
*I'm minted
买♥♥支军队 打斯巴达克斯*
*I bought an army for fighting Spartacus
战争初始 士兵心不在此*
*At the start my men lost heart-acus
屠♥杀♥狂欢 十人杀一*
*I killed one in ten in a killing spree
被我震慑 宁愿杀敌*
*So they were more scared of me than the enemy
虐待奴隶 血腥糟糕*
*Smashed the slaves, it got real gory
庞培小人 盗我荣耀*
*But then Pompey stole my glory
诬陷是我 破坏同盟*
*To show it was me that crushed the horde
钉起奴隶 板上示众*
*Nailed up the slaves like on a billboard
板上钉人*
*They're splinted
政♥治♥阴谋 缺少才能*
*Not enough to be a politician
渴望胜利 带军出征*
*Wanted triumph, took my army on a mission
安息帝国 遇波斯人*
*Got owned by the Parthian Persians
战败被杀 两个版本*
*They killed me, but you'll hear two versions
流行版本 难以考证*
*The famous one's quite hard to follow
熔炼金子 逼我生吞*
*They gave me boiling gold to swallow
真实死法 还有后续*
*But the true way they made me pay
我的脑袋 成了道具*
*They used my head as a prop in a play
真丢人*
*Embarrassing
罗马人觉得他是富豪*
*There's Romans think they're minted
腰包鼓我第一*
*But they ain't rich like me
那点钱你不值得炫耀*
*You can't call yourself loaded
军队你买♥♥不起*
*Till you can buy an army
与庞培凯撒共掌罗马*
*Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar
他们比我有名*
*They're more famous than me
但我乃世上富豪老大*
*But I'm the world's richest geezer
比有钱无人敌*
*There's no-one richer than me
真是爱死了 有谁不爱的
Ha, ha, love it, tell me you don't love it. Ha, ha.
华丽的乔治王朝
乔治王朝有位伟大的哲学家
One of our finest Georgian philosophers
名叫杰里米·边沁
was called Jeremy Bentham.
他非常聪明 但是
He was quite brilliant, but somewhat,
该如何形容
well, how shall I put this?
异于常人
Unusual.
下午好 先生
Good afternoon, sir.
詹宁斯
Ah, Jennings.
我刚设计了一个环形监狱
I've just finished my new design for a panopticon prison,
一个守卫就可以监视所有囚犯
in which one guard can watch all inmates
而囚犯却不知道
without their being able to tell
是否有人在监视他
whether or not they're being watched.
边沁真设计了环形监狱
一如既往地棒 先生
Brilliant as ever, sir.
我相信 您没有忘记
Now, I trust you haven't forgotten
您邀请新邻居过来品茶小聚
you invited your new neighbour over for tea.
你不会做什么吓到他的事情吧 先生
You won't do anything to embarrass him now, will you, sir?
詹宁斯 我肯定不会
No, Jennings, of course I won't.
先生 您穿的那到底是什么
Sir, what on earth are you wearing?
我只不过是尝试我的新发明
Well, I'm just trying out my new invention,
这是内♥裤♥
they're called underpants.
内♥裤♥真是边沁发明的
怎么样
What do you think?
我觉得应该穿在里面 先生
I think they should be under something, sir.
说的没错
Yes, you're quite right.
先... 天啊
Mr... Good gracious!
这是内♥裤♥ 先生
They're underpants, sir.
看得出来
I see.
要不要来杯茶
Would you care for some tea?
估计教士约翰·兰博阁下
I believe the Reverend Sir John Lambourne
马上就到
will be joining us shortly.
如果有教士一起
If a Reverend is joining us,
您是否应该穿上马裤
should you not be wearing breeches, sir?
他不会介意的
He won't mind.
他来了
Oh, here he is now.
教士阁下是只猫
The Reverend is a cat?
他家猫就叫教士
当然 来来 教士
Yes, of course. Come on, Reverend.
吃饱饱
There we are.
请教一下 您宠物的名字都这么奇怪吗
Tell me, sir, do all your pets have such unusual names?
当然不是 我的另一只宠物叫蒂奇
Of course not, my other pet's called Dickie.
宠物狗吗
A pet dog?
宠物茶壶
A pet teapot!
他真有一个叫蒂奇的宠物茶壶
谁家茶壶最乖 谁家茶壶最乖
Who's a good teapot? Who's a good teapot?
就是你最乖
Yes, you are!
边沁先生 我很忙
Mr. Bentham, I'm a very busy man,
显然 您也很忙
you are a very busy man, clearly.
所以 我就开门见山
So I shall not beat about the bush.
我想在我家花♥园♥里建座避暑夏舍
I intend to have a summer house built in my garden,
希望您能同意
and I was hoping you would be agreeable to this.
没问题 任何英国人都应该可以
Of course. An Englishman should be able to do
随心所欲地布置自家花♥园♥
whatever he likes in his own garden.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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