糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E05
Part 3
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
And let the microscopic mites burrow into your skin.
痒死了
It's so itchy!
谁说不是呢
Isn't it just?
遗憾的是 我们还不能治愈
Sadly, we haven't found a cure yet.
但别担心 在找到治愈方法前
But don't worry, we promise we won't stop
我们承诺不会停止试验
experimenting on you until we do.
实际上 感觉好多了
Actually, that does feel a bit better.
找到治愈方法了
谁能想到 治疗方法原来是
Who'd have thought that all we had to do
给你全身抹上苯酸苄酯呢
was paint you from head to toe in Benzyl Benzoate?
美兰比确实治愈了疥疮
不过别担心 痛苦不止于此
But don't worry, the suffering doesn't end there.
痛苦不止于此
我们的脱水程序
You'll really work up a thirst
会令你口渴难忍♥
with our water deprivation programme.
尝试无水生活
张大嘴
Open wide!
或者看看没有维生素C 你能活多久
or see how long you can go without taking Vitamin C!
断绝维生素C
不给你
Not for you!
如果你觉得自己特别勇敢
And if you're feeling really brave,
可以挑战疟疾
you can take the Malaria challenge.
痛苦无止境 疟疾更诱人
我们在非洲的士兵都得了疟疾
All our boys out in Africa have it.
现在你也可以了
Now you can too!
也许你能帮我们找到疗法
Oh, and possibly help us find a cure.
也许不能
Probably not.
索比研究院
The Sorby Research Institute
你只能伤害一个人
where the only person you'll hurt
就是你自己
is yourself!
现在报名上前线是不是太晚了
Is it too late to sign up for battle?
你连体♥检♥都过不了
You'll never pass the medical.
倒也是
Yeah.
二战的胜利 离不开每一个人的付出
To win World War Two, everybody did their bit.
所谓每一个人 就是没人可以置身事外
And when I say everybody, I mean everybody.
哪怕后来成为女王的
Even Princess Elizabeth, you know,
伊丽莎白公主也不能例外
the one who went on to be Queen Elizabeth II.
就是这样
That's the spirit!
每个军械官都要入学深造*
*Each army mechanic has to go to school
女士们为了战争学习使用工具*
*There's a war on, ladies, learn to use a tool
所有成员皆是社会名流*
*All our figures have to be first class
其中更是不乏皇室成员*
*And one is royal blue
今朝埋头换胎的年轻公主*
*The young princess who's changing this tyre
他日母仪天下的女王二世*
*is future Queen Liz II
手套磨坏是常事
One's gloves are ruined.
谁也别想快过女王级技工*
*You can't get quicker than a Queen-fit fitter
可以信赖我
One's the one to trust!
女王级技工让我们顺利完成任务*
*At Queen-fit fitters we get the job done
我们会迅速修好卡车*
*We'll fix your truck right away
有何需求求助我*
*Whatever you need, you can count on one
伊丽莎白国之君主*
*Princess Elizabeth rules OK
我还没登基呢
One doesn't rule yet.
女王级技工 你无法企及*
*You can't get quicker than a Queen-fit fitter
女王级技工 你无法比肩*
*You can't get posher than a Queen-fit fitter
女王级技工 你无法超越*
*You can't get better than a Queen-fit fitter
可以信赖我
One's the one to trust!
女王级技工 你无法超越
当女王伊丽莎白二世还是公主时
When Queen Elizabeth II was a young Princess,
她干过机械工 还做过救护车司机
she worked as a mechanic and ambulance driver.
没错 这可不是"九九九"了
Yeah! Less 999
而是"头一号♥"
and more "One, one, one".
绝妙古希腊
斯巴达人如果一时懦弱
We Spartans got into a lot of trouble
就要大难临头
if we were ever cowardly.
而懦弱的标志
And a sure sign of being a coward
就是扔掉盾牌
was to throw away your shield.
前进 斯巴达
Go, Sparta!
斯巴达
阿尔瑟斯
Altheus.
你还没死啊 你个老兵油子
You're still alive, you old dog!
没一个波斯士兵是我的对手
No Persian soldier is going to get the better of me!
我想都不用想...你的盾牌呢
I didn't think for a mo... Where's your shield?
什么
What?
我才没有扔掉盾牌
Erm, well, I certainly did not throw it away
好逃离波斯士兵的追击呢
so I could run away from a Persian soldier
你怎么能这么想
and I resent you even suggesting it.
我没这么想
I didn't.
无所谓了 反正我没扔盾牌
Right. Well, anyway, I, I didn't throw it down and,
更没有像个懦夫一样逃跑 绝对没有
and run away like a coward, no, no.
我才没有
Not me.
-我也希望你没有 -谢谢
- I should hope not. - Good.
盾牌不仅保护了你自己
You're shield doesn't just protect you,
还会保护方阵里你旁边的战士
it protects the Spartan beside you in the phalanx.
丢弃盾牌 等于让战友命悬一线
To lose your shield is to put their lives at risk.
每个斯巴达人从战场返回时
Every Spartan should return from battle
要么手握盾牌昂首挺胸
either holding his shield,
要么躺在盾牌上面尸骨还乡
or be carried home dead upon it.
斯巴达人确实这么认为
没错
Yeah.
说实话吧 阿尔瑟斯
So tell me, Altheus.
你到底怎么把盾牌弄丢的
How exactly did you lose your shield?
这个实在说来话长
Well, it, er, it would take quite a long time to explain.
-我有的是时间 -是啊
- I've got time. - Of course you have.
这个说起来很复杂
Er, well, it's quite complicated actually,
要不这样吧
er, I'll tell you what,
把你的盾牌借我
why don't you lend me your shield
我给你演示下当时发生了什么
and I can show you what happened?
行 行
Oh, yeah, yeah.
好吧
Yeah? OK.
好的 那个...
Right. Well, erm, er...
就没见过这样的...
Oh, you think you know someone...!
还好吧 你的盾牌呢
Everything all right..? Where's your shield?!
其实呢...
Well, it's just that...
这样吧
I'll tell you what,
把你盾牌借我 我给你演示一下
lend me your shield and I'll show you.
好的
Yeah, all right.
你上当了
You're it!
你...你开玩笑吧
Oh, you... You're kidding me!
在斯巴达 母亲常对儿子说
Spartan mothers used to say to their sons,
要么拿着盾牌回来 要么躺在上面回来
"Come back with your shield, or upon it."
她们的意思是
Basically they meant,
要么得胜而归 要么以身殉国
come back victorious or come back dead.
谢谢 妈妈 我也会想你的
"Thank, Mum, I'll miss you too."
斯巴达女性和男人一样坚韧
Yes, the Spartan women were just as tough as the men.
有了新型斯巴达女孩玩偶
Who wants to play with that doll
谁还稀罕那种娃娃呢
when you can play with new Spartan Girl?
现在还有美丽的婚纱装扮
Yes, now available in her adorable wedding outfit.
光头 男性衣着
A shaved head and men's clothes.
斯巴达女孩喜欢各种刺♥激♥的活动
Spartan Girl takes part in all sorts of exciting activities
巾帼不让须眉
alongside the boys.
每一种都穿着惊艳的服饰 有体操类的
Each with a fabulous outfit. There's gymnastics...
赤身裸体
With no clothes.
摔跤类的 仍然赤身裸体
Wrestling... Still no clothes.
赛马类的 你猜得没错
Races... Yes, you've guessed it!
我能给她换衣服吗
Can I dress her up?
不行
No!
斯巴达女孩训练时从来不♥穿♥衣服
Spartan Girl doesn't wear clothes while she's training.
但她们的少女用品一样也不少
But she does have all her Spartan girlie accessories.
太棒了
Hooray!
短剑 标枪
Sword, javelin,
猎刀 还有包里的吉娃娃
hunting knife and a Chihuahua in a handbag.
好棒
Hooray!
没有最后那个
No, not the last one.
还有斯巴达小宝宝
And also available... Spartan Baby.
你真可爱
Oh, you're so cute!
但一定要保证他们体格强健
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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