糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S05E01

Part 2 Jan. 2, 2021, 3:15 p.m.

I forgot to sow my seeds.
真是个蠢货
What a muppet!
你脑子太不灵光了
You're such a numb brain.
好吧
All right.
好的我打算先吃了这蛋糕
Right, I'm going to finish this cake,
再去播种
then get sowing.
能分我一块吗
Don't suppose you got a spare slice, have you?
我忘了自己的那个埋在哪儿了
Can't remember where I buried mine.
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
约有十万人丧生于
The Great Plague of London in 1665
1665年的伦敦大瘟疫
killed about 100,000 people.
不卫生的居住环境
The grimy, unsanitary conditions people lived in
致使瘟疫快速传播
meant the plague spread very quickly.
为了避免染病
To avoid catching the disease,
许多伦敦贵族逃离了城市
many rich Londoners fled the city.
历史版垃圾斗士
[戏仿ITV综艺科教节目《垃圾斗士》]
现在是1665年
It's 1665
历史版垃圾斗士卢和戴夫
and Historical Grimefighters, Lou and Dave,
受命前往牛津某处
have been called to a property in Oxford.
这座建筑物散发着
Apparently there's a bit of a smell
明显的异味
coming from this property,
所以我和戴夫打算试着找出问题的所在
so Dave and I thought we'd try and track the problem down.
难不成这里是学生宿舍
Don't tell me - students?
不是斯图亚特王室
No, Stuarts.
我是查理二世你好
Charles II. Hi.
我平时住在伦敦
Normally I live down in London,
但致命的瘟疫正在那里肆虐
but there's this dreadful plague business going on there.
我的派对都被毁了
Ruining my parties,
所以我把宫廷搬到牛津来了
so I moved the royal court up here to Oxford.
快进来
Come on in.
顺便一提我喜欢你们这套装备
Loving the outfits, by the way.
非常感谢
Oh, thanks very much.
别把那玩意儿带进来伙计
Oh, don't bring that in, mate.
留在外面就行了
Leave it out there.
看到了没有戴夫
Would you look at this, Dave?
真是令人作呕
Absolutely disgusting.
食物就这么乱丢
They're dropping food all over the place.
真是满身铜臭
Talk about the stinking rich,
他们怕是几个星期没洗澡了
this lot haven't had a bath in weeks.
洗澡对人有害所以...
Well, baths are actually very bad for you, so...
谁说的
Says who?
我医生说的
Says my doctor.
你好我是高级御医
Hello, I'm the senior physician to the King
我能证实这是众所周知的科学事实
and I can confirm it's a well-known scientific fact.
洗澡使肌肉放松
Bathing relaxes the muscles
会让你眩晕
and, er...it makes you dizzy
从而染上瘟疫
and that is how you catch the plague.
斯图亚特人真的相信这个
不那是胡说八道
No, it isn't, that's nonsense.
我不敢以身试险
Well, I'm not taking any risks,
所以我不再洗澡我...
that's why I've stopped having baths. I've...
开始抽烟
taken up smoking.
还在脖子上戴了只死蟾蜍
And I'm wearing a dead toad around my neck.
真实的斯图亚特瘟疫预防方法
太恶心了
Disgusting.
快过来戴夫
Round here, Dave.
看看这个人拉的
Look at this! That's human.
说真的
Right, seriously,
是谁在壁炉边拉屎了
who's been dumping in the chimney place?
肯定不是我
Well, it certainly wasn't me,
我在那个角落拉的
I use that corner.
查理的王室确实到处拉屎
真恶心至少我会在煤库拉
Urgh, that's rank, at least I use the coal house.
煤库
The coal house?!
这样就不必在书房♥外排队了
Well, it beats queuing up for the study,
大都去那拉屎
that's where everyone else goes.
好吧够了所有人请出去
Right, that's it, everybody out.
拜托别扫大家的兴
Oh, come on, don't be such a party pooper.
你才是扫兴的人呢老兄
It's you who's the party pooper, mate,
到处都是你们留下的小"礼物"
leaving your little presents all over the place.
老实说你真的一无所知吗
I mean, honestly, don't you know anything?
如此不卫生只会助长瘟疫的传播
Being this unhygienic will only help spread the plague.
不要紧
It doesn't matter anyway.
什么叫不要紧
What do you mean, it doesn't matter?
我们很快就搬回伦敦了
We're moving back to London soon.
大家来吧
Come on everyone,
重回宫殿继续狂欢
party back at the Palace, yo!
没说你戴夫好的
Oh, not you, Dave. Oh, right,
你们就打算这么一走了之
you're just going to walk out
留下那堆屎
and leave all your little piles of
让别人收拾烂摊子吗
poo for what else to clean up, are ya?
-是的 -你是个疯子老兄
- Yea. - You're an animal, mate.
他们走后真的四处皆屎
是聚会狂
A party animal.
来吧戴夫别再唠叨了
Come on, then, Dave, you best stop your nattering.
拿出你的粪铲开始干活了
Get your pooper scooper out and get going.
肮脏腐朽的斯图亚特王室
Dirty rotten Stuarts.
绝妙古希腊
糟糕历史游戏出品
HH Games presents.
终极城市保卫者
Ultimate City Defender.
古希腊世界面临着新的威胁
The Greek world faces a new threat.
你的使命
Your mission
就是保卫古希腊殖民地叙拉古
is to save the ancient Greek colony of Syracuse
免受日益强大的罗马势力的侵害
from the up-and-coming power in the region known as... the Romans
记住这名字
Remember the name.
我们会变得很强大
We're going to be big.
请选择保卫者
Select defender.
已选择老人
Old man selected.
选得好
Good choice,
我可不是一般的老头
I'm not just any old man,
我是阿基米德
I'm Archimedes.
古希腊数学家发明家
Greek mathematician and inventor.
我常说 "智胜莽勇"
"Brains not brawn", I always say.
看看你有什么本事老头
Let's see what you've got, old man.
请选择武器
Select weapon.
已选择巨型镜子
Giant mirror selected.
镜子吗
A mirror?
你准备拿那个干什么
What are you going to do with that?
让我自己吓自己吗
Scare me with my own reflection?
第一回合开始作战
Round one, begin battle
这是我的新发明
It's my new invention.
阿基米德火焰镜
The Burning Mirrors of Archimedes.
它能反射地中海烈日的光照
They reflect the rays of the hot Mediterranean sun
将光线聚焦至罗马船只的帆上
and focus them onto the sails of the Roman ships.
好吧原来是这样
Oh, right. That's what you're going to do with it.
智慧对莽勇一比零
Brains one, brawn nil.
第二回合
Round two.
看看你还有什么本事老头
Let's see what else you've got, old man.
请选择武器
Select weapon.
已选择巨型起重机
Giant crane selected.
巨型起重机能有什么破坏力
A giant crane! How bad can that be?
我准备了一种大型起重装置
I've come up with a sort of huge crane device
来对付敌船
to deal with enemy ships.
我不想小题大做
I don't like to make a big deal about inventing it,
所以我就称之为"阿基米德之爪"
so I've just called it, The Claw of Archimedes!
祝贺你城市保卫成功
Congratulations, City defended.
什么我们还会回来的
Yeah? Well, we'll be back again.
请便
Whatever.
游戏结束
Game over.
我有没有告诉过你
Have I told you about a device
把水注入灌渠的装置
for moving water up into irrigation ditches?
它叫"阿基米德螺旋抽水机"
It's called The Archimedes Screw.
不说真的游戏结束
No, really. Game over!
给你三次机会猜猜这是谁的发明