糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E06
Part 5
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:16 p.m.
Kid, you got yourself a movie deal.
谢谢你
Oh, thank you!
我猜大家后来都过着快乐的生活了
I assume everybody lived happily ever after.
事实上不是
Actually, no.
几年后 大部分人应招入伍
Most of them were called up and killed
都死在第一次世界大战中
a couple of years later in the First World War.
看来续篇是没法拍了
Well, there goes the sequel.
我这里不通过
It's a no from me.
三个不通过
Buzz! You got three nos.
-谢谢参与 -没关系 我走了
- Thanks for coming. - Right, fine. I'm off.
最好走快点 不然那伙挪威人就赢了
Better hurry up or the Norwegian team will beat you.
你们认错人了
That was the other guy!
他出去散步了 等下就回来
He's going outside for a walk, he may be some time.
说了我不是他
The other guy!
我觉得他冷冰冰的
I found him very cold.
想打冷颤
Chilling.
野蛮的石器时代
早期人类擅长音乐
Early man good at music.
尼安德特人在四万年前就造出了笛子
Neanderthal even make flute 40,000 year ago.
尼安德特唱片公♥司♥发♥售♥
Available at last from Neanderthal Records...
《这就是我们所说的音乐》
Now that's what we call music.
史上最早乐器
The first-ever musical notes
挖空的动物骨头
played on the first-ever musical instrument
吹奏出的史上最早音符
a hollowed-out animal bone
在本专辑中收录
collected together on one unforgettable album.
这就是我们所说的音乐
Now, that what me call music.
音乐好赞 我喜欢
Music good! Me like! Hey!
包括突破性的《三音混编曲》
Featuring the ground-breaking Three Notes In Any Old Order...
太美妙了
Oh, beautiful.
叹为观止的《四音混编曲》
the remarkable Four Notes In Any Old Order...
相当的赞
Very good!
还有当红主打曲 《主打曲》
And the smash hit, Smash Hit!
断了
Broken!
《这就是我们所说的音乐》
and now that's what we call music
赶紧订购 趁尼安德特人还活着
Available while Neaderthals last
你说"趁尼安德特人还活着"是什么意思
What you mean, "While Neanderthals last"?
-这是什么 -我不知道
- What this? - I don't know.
千真万确
It's true
用动物骨头制♥作♥的笛子
a flute made from animal bone is thought to be
是世界上最古老的的乐器
the oldest musical instrument in the world.
当然是不把屁♥股♥小号♥包括在内的话
That is if you don't count the bum trumpet.
真悦耳呀
Ah, sweet music.
石器时代的人们可以用骨头做很多事
Stone Age man had many uses for animal bones
这些骨头都来自一些不同寻常的动物
and they came from some very unusual animals.
历史版
春望
[恶搞BBC系列节目Springwatch]
大家好 我是超级兴奋的野外讲解员
Hello. I'm an over excitable wildlife presenter.
我是超级超级兴奋的野外讲解员
And I'm an even more excitable wildlife presenter.
今天来到这里我很兴奋
And I'm really excited today...
只是没有像我这样兴奋
Though not as excited as me!
因为我们今天来到的是石器时代
because we are here in Stone Age times
为大家奉上《历史版春望》特辑
for a really special edition of Historical Springwatch.
我们现身处更新世
We are in the Pleistocene Era,
我们在栖息地各处安装了针孔摄像机
where we've got hidden cameras deep inside the habitats
来观察这个时代最奇特的动物
of this era's most extraordinary animals.
它们是十分奇特的物种
They really are extraordinary.
-我刚不是说了吗 -抱歉
- I just said that! - Sorry.
我们来看看箭齿兽吧
Let's take a look at the Toxodon.
箭齿兽
洞穴壁画印象
箭齿兽是一种体型巨大的三趾哺乳动物
The Toxodon is a giant, three-toed mammal
算是某种河马与沙鼠的混合体
that's a sort of a cross between a hippopotamus and a gerbil.
想象一下 某种硕大长着毛的河马
Imagine that - a sort of giant, hairy hippo.
其实也没必要费脑筋去想象
Well, you don't have to imagine it.
因为我们随时都可能会看见一头
Because we're going to see one, any second now.
好像箭齿兽被个早期人类吃掉了
Oh, it seems the Toxodon's been eaten by an early man.
那也很令人激动
That's exciting to see, too.
智人为了生存
Homo sapiens surviving
把所有能吃的食物都吃了
by making use of any food available to him.
别担心 因为我们还给大家准备了
Well, not to worry, because we've got
许多其他大型哺乳动物
plenty of other giant mammals for you.
来看看我们正在追踪的大地懒
So let's take a look at the Megatherium we've been following.
大地懒
洞穴壁画印象
这树獭能长到六米长
This sloth can grow up to six metres long.
我们追踪这家伙已经有...
And we've been following this guy for more than...
-又被他吃了 -能看看其他摄像机吗
- Oh! He's done it again! - Can we check out the other cameras?
他把这片全吃了
He scoffed the lot!
要是继续这么干 他们最后会把这些
If he carries on like this, early man's going to end up
奇特的大型动物全给杀光的
killing off all of these fantastic mega animals.
早期人类确实杀光了大型动物
不会在我节目上发生这事的 等着瞧
Well, not on my Springwatch, let me tell you.
那边的
Oi, you there!
你就从来没停下来想想未来的人
Did you never stop to think that people in the future
可能想看看大型豹 大型树獭
might actually want to see giant panthers, giant sloths,
甚至大型剑齿虎吗
even giant sabretooth tigers?!
那什么 我同意你把这家伙给杀了
Actually, you have my permission to kill this one.
你去哪
Where are you going?!
你的牙齿真有型
Oh! What extraordinary teeth you have!
明天请继续收看 到时我们...
Well, join me tomorrow, when we'll...
我会观察一头有小象那么大的公牛
I'll be looking at a bull that's the size of a small elephant.
早期人类会
And then early man will
把它做成汉堡 明天见
be turning it into hamburgers. See you, then.
讨厌的海盗
我们海盗可能极难被人理解
Us pirates could be dead hard to understand.
特别对那些被我们俘虏的人来说
Especially for those people we held captive.
他们知道我是谁吗 这里管事的是谁
Do they know who I am? Who's in charge here?
海盗船 甲板下
逆风停船 伙计们
Heave-to, me hearties!
你就是管事的吗
Are you the man in charge?
就是我 你这旱鸭子
That be me, you landlubber.
抱歉 那是什么
I'm sorry, what was that?
我对海盗行话有些了解
I am reasonably familiar with pirate parlance.
-或许我能翻译一下 -说吧
- Perhaps I could translate? - Proceed.
旱鸭子 基本上是指
A landlubber, basically, means someone
在船上行为笨拙的人
who is clumsy while aboard a ship.
你要是这个意思 为什么不好好说呢
If that's what you mean, why don't you just speak properly?
肃静 坏血病无赖
Silence, scurvy knave!
他又来了 请翻译
Oh, he's at it again. Translation, please.
坏血病是一种海上恶疾 而无赖
Scurvy is a nasty disease you can get at sea and knave...
他大致上说你是恶棍 先生
Well, he's basically calling you a villain, sir.
他要是想叫我卑鄙的恶棍
If he wants to call me a scabby villain,
为什么不直接那么说呢
why didn't he just say so?
颤木头 我要这舱鼠感受下"海底捞"
Well, shiver me timbers, I'll have this bilge rat keelhauled.
如果船只被炮弹击中
Well, if a ship gets a sudden blast from a cannon,
木制船桅 或者叫木头会摇晃或颤抖
then the wooden masts - or "Timbers" - are shaken or "Shivered".
它大概表达了吃惊的意思
It's, kind of, an expression of surprise.
而船舱是一艘船的最底部
And bilge is the very bottom of a ship -
一个又脏又臭满是老鼠的地方
a dirty, stinking place filled with rats.
"舱鼠"因此而来
Hence "Bilge rat."
"海底捞"呢
And "Keelhauled"?
一种传统的海盗处罚方式
A traditional pirate punishment,
你的双脚被绑住 扔进水里拽一圈
where your feet are tied and you're dragged under the water,
并摩擦坚硬的船底
rubbing against the barnacled bottom of the ship.
真实的海盗处罚方式
你会被撕成碎片的 先生
You'd be torn to pieces, sir.
那种威胁确实会让我脚底打颤
That threat certainly would have had me quaking in my boots,
前提是我得知道这是什么意思
if I'd had any idea what it meant!
说人话
Speak English!
保罗 缝上他的嘴
Paul, sew his mouth up.
请翻译
Translation, please.
"缝上他的嘴"
"Sew his mouth up."
另一种真实的海盗处罚方式
颤木头
Well, shiver me timbers.
我想我刚刚把我下面弄脏了[吓尿了]
I think I've just filled my keel with bilge.
上手挺快啊 老弟
Now you're getting the hang of it, mate.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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