糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S05E07
Part 4
Jan. 2, 2021, 3:17 p.m.
日本跟美国还在争个你死我活
Japan and the USA are still battling it out
直到两个城市被原♥子♥弹♥夷为灰烬
until the Japanese are forced to surrender,
日本才不得不举白旗投降
by two bombs so big they wipe out entire cities.
于是历时六年 死亡六千万
So, after six years and 60 million deaths,
第二次世界大战终于宣告结束
World War II finally finds a fittingly foul finale.
没错 父老乡亲们 战争结束了
Yes, war is over and ladies and gentlemen,
我只是想说 和平万岁 因为当你
all I am saying is give peace a chance because when you...
你扎痛我了
Ouch! You pricked me.
赶快道歉
Well, say you're sorry!
不说话是吧
Oh, silent treatment, is it?!
你知道会是这个结果 我要宣战
Well, you know what this means, war!
不牛气了是吧 你给我回来
Not so big now, eh?! Come back!
华丽的乔治王朝
乔治时代奇葩辈出
There were some most unusual people around in Georgian times
而奇人之最当属哈维斯特教士
and none more so than a certain Reverend Harvest.
《歌♥林多书》诵读到此结束
And thus we finish our reading from Corinthians.
我得说 今天的到场人数让我很不满
I must say, I'm very disappointed with the turnout this morning.
大概是因为上周
Well, it could be that last week
你用枪把人都轰出去了
you chased everybody out of here with a shotgun
还说他们是一帮占住者
and accused them of being squatters.
的确发生过
罗杰 他们要不是占住者
Well if they weren't squatters, Roger,
没事老跑到教堂里面来做什么
what were they doing in the church at that time?
他们每周特定时间都会来教堂的啊
Well, they come to the church at the same time every week
因为要过来做礼拜
because that's when the service is.
我一直就没想明白这点
Oh, well that's where I got confused.
睡眠不足害的
It's lack of sleep.
昨晚 有个人摇了我一整夜
Last night, someone was shaking me all night.
那个人是我
That was me.
你睡的是我的床 而且进的不是自己家
You were sleeping in my bed, you were in the wrong house.
这些事哈维斯特真的全干过
好啦 是人总会有犯小错误的时候
Ah, well one is entitled to make one or two small mistakes.
但是到了重要关头 罗杰
But when it comes to the big stuff, Roger,
我绝对不会掉链子
I am always on the ball.
哈维斯特教士
Reverend Harvest,
你今早应该出席一场婚礼才对
you're meant to be at a wedding this morning.
真的假的 谁的婚礼
Oh, really, whose?
你自己的 白♥痴♥
Yours, you idiot.
我俩今天本来是要成亲的
We are supposed to be getting married.
抱歉 这是我第二次忘记自己的婚礼了
I'm sorry, that's the second time I've missed my own wedding.
确有其事
蜜月旅行筹备好了吗
Have you organised the honeymoon?
我的小马车需要些马儿来拉
I'll need horses for the buggy.
我父亲大主教 昨天不是借了你几匹吗
My father, the Bishop, lent you some horses yesterday.
恐怕让我给弄丢了
I've lost them I'm afraid.
能再借我一匹吗 行行好
Could you lend me a horse, please?
你才说自己弄丢马了 没门
Not after hearing that, no.
貌似我们要步行着去了
It looks like we're walking.
我们去法国怎么样
Shall we go to France?
法国那边我轻车熟路 其实不是
I know my way around France, well, I don't really,
但是我很清楚 如果找不到旅店了
but what I do know is, is that if you lose your hotel
往嘴里放一枚银币并咆哮 马上就找着了
you can find it by putting a silver coin in your mouth and roaring.
哈维斯特教士同样干过这事
我原来就这样干过
I've done it before.
婚礼怎么办
What about the wedding?
有人要结婚吗
Is someone getting married?
反正我不结了
I'd rather not.
哈维斯特牧师是个彻头彻尾的怪人
Reverend Harvest was a total eccentric.
某次他向一位贵族女士介绍星空
He once showed a posh lady the stars in the sky
结果在聊到一半的时侯尿了
and half way through talking, had a wee.
这有什么好奇怪的
Hm, well, what's wrong with that, huh?
尿出来一点点 小尿而已啦
It's only a little one. Huh. A wee-wee.
乔治时代有一些奇人异事 真的
There were some right characters around in Georgian times, oh, yes.
好啦 我这就弄干净
All right, I'll clear it up.
乔治娱乐新闻
大家好 我是佩妮·贝尔
Hi, I'm Penny Bell
佩妮·贝尔
你正在收看的是《乔治娱乐新闻》
and you're watching Georgian Showbiz News.
这里有当红明星的最新消息
We've got all the latest news on all the latest stars.
马上带来
马上带来塞缪尔主教的新闻 太好了
Coming up later, we've got Samuel Bishop. Awesome!
棒极了
没错 这位训练狗猴共舞的
Yes, the Georgian entertainer
乔治时代艺人
who taught his dog to dance with a monkey
带着全新表演回归
is back with his new act,
可以像狗一样取物的龟 好可爱
a tortoise who can fetch like a dog. Cute.
取啊 去取
Fetch, fetch.
去捡球
Get the ball.
我们还有马戏团展览艺人
And we've got an exclusive report on
丹尼尔·兰伯特去世的独家报道
the death of circus exhibit, Daniel Lambert.
伤心脸
Sad Face.
330公斤的大肥仔上周去世
The 52-stone man mountain passed away last week
葬礼上泪水泛滥
and there were tears at his funeral.
不 我不是亲属
Oh, no, I'm not a relative.
甚至不认识这个人
No, I didn't even know the man.
我刚才抬了他的棺木 闪到腰了
I just put me back out carrying his coffin.
但首先 你肯定不会相信
But first, you won't believe it.
我有幸会见丹尼尔·怀尔德曼
I got to meet Daniel Wildman,
没错 就是传说中的丹尼尔·怀尔德曼
that's right, the Daniel Wildman,
伦敦养蜂人 兼杰出杂耍家
London beekeeper and showman extraordinaire.
看我牛吧
Check me out.
丹尼尔的表演内容是
Daniel's act involves
戴着蜜蜂口罩骑马
riding a horse whilst wearing a mask of bees
他周身散发着乔治英国魅力[音同嗡嗡]
and he's certainly got the whole of Georgian Britain buzzing.
丹尼尔 你好
Daniel, hi.
本想在节目上吻你一下
I was going to give you a showbiz kiss,
但我最好还是保持距离
but I think I'd better keep my distance.
别担心 我的蜜蜂不会叮你
Don't worry, my bees won't sting you.
它们训练有素 瞧瞧这个
I've got them well trained. Watch this.
太牛了
Awesome.
你是怎么做到的
How do you do it?
我在蜂后身上系了根绳
I tied a thread around the Queen Bee.
只要拽着她 其他蜜蜂就会跟着转
Haul her around and the others just follow.
请勿自家模仿
小菜一碟
Simple.
你确定它们不叮人吗
Are you sure they won't sting?
它们听起来不太爽的样子
They sound kind of angry?
放轻松 如果它们不听话
Relax. If they do get out of control...
你会冲他们开枪吗
Are you going to shoot them?
不不不 只需一枪
No, no, no, one shot from this
就能让它们都回到蜂房♥去
and I can send them all back to their hive.
好棒
Great.
丹尼尔 你有本新书上市
Now, Daniel, you've got a new book out,
《整年养蜂管理全面指南》
A Complete Guide For The Management Of Bees Throughout The Year.
是讲什么的呢
What's it about?
你不是说你的蜜蜂不叮人吗
I thought you said your bees wouldn't sting me?
这不是我的蜜蜂
That's not one of my bees.
我是佩妮·贝尔
This is Penny Bell
采访养蜂人丹尼尔·怀尔德曼
with bee man, Daniel Wildman
并且刚刚被叮了
and I've just been stung.
[sting叮咬 还有坑骗的意思]
你得给我五先令书钱
Oh, and that's five shillings for the book.
被叮了两次
Twice!
可怕古埃及
我们古埃及人喜欢衣着光鲜
In ancient Egypt, we really liked to look good.
看看我就知道啦
I mean, check me out.
但这也不是每个人都能做到的
But for everyone else, it wasn't always so easy.
你好
Hello.
请问 你有什么能帮我弄下头上吗
I wonder, have you got anything to help with this?
弄啥 你头上一根毛也没有啊
With what, there's nothing there.
-真好笑 -我知道
- That's really funny. - I know.
你有能治疗秃头的药吗
Do you have a cure for baldness?
有的 先生
Er, yes, Sir,
我可以给你配个方子
certainly, I can mix you up a cure.
我先看看有没有合适的原料
Let me just check and see if I've got the right ingredients.
-好的 -让我瞧瞧
- Great. - Let's have a look.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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