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Modern Family S04E09

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2019, 10:55 p.m.

海莉快点儿你要迟到了
Haley,hurry up! You are gonna be late.
艾丽克斯你在干嘛
Alex, what are you doing?
我要记录下海莉的第一次"铁链劳役"行为
I need to document Haley's first standard chain gang.
那不是铁链劳役
It's not a chain gang.
那是社区服务别烦她了
It's community service. And leave her a lone.
她心情已经够糟糕的了
She feels bad enough as it is.
我快精神分♥裂♥了一方面我一想到
Okay, I'm torn. On one hand, I'm like,
我得捡一整天垃圾好烦
"Ugh, I have to pick up garbage all day."
但是另一方面我又想着
And on the other hand, I'm like,
我穿这身橘红色真好看
"Look at me in orange."
真漂亮发给我
Aw, that's cute. Send that to me.
海莉在学校里犯了点法
Haley had a little run-in with the law in college.
她因袭♥警♥被捕
She was arrested for assaulting a police officer.
纯属意外我摔在他身上
Accidentally. I fell on him.
当时正因为低龄饮酒而逃避逮捕
While evading arrest for underage drinking.
那个是故意的
That was on purpose.
他们对她宽大处理
They were very lenient with her.
现在她只需做一些社区服务
She only has to do community service.
因为本小姐没有前科哦
Because I do not have any priors.
你对此有点太得瑟了宝贝女儿
Taking a little too much pride in that, sweetheart.
外面的世界非常危险
Things can get pretty rough out there.
我实在弄不到香烟
I couldn't get my hands on any cigarettes.
但我用一把旧小刀做成了一把尖刀
But I did make you a shiv out of an old knife.
你不可能用一把小刀做成一把尖刀
You don't make a shiv out of a knife.
是啊你可以用锈汤匙或者玻璃碎片做成尖刀
Yeah, you make a shiv out of a rusty spoon or a shard of glass.
或者是人的股骨
Or a human femur.
没错时刻保持创意
Exactly. Be creative.
你真贴心卢克
It's really sweet of you, Luke,
不过那里都是些酒驾司机和
But there's just gonna be a bunch of drunk drivers
蠢到会被抓现行的"破坏者"而已
and vandalizers who were stupid enough to get caught.
或者蠢到说"破坏者"的人
Or stupid enough to use the word "Vandalizers."
应该说"破坏分子"
It's vandals.
众人皆蠢我独聪
I'm so alone.
他们会生吃了你乡巴佬们
They're gonna eat you alive, suburbia.
米奇尔我们回来了
Mitchell, we're back.
你肯定会觉得难以置信
You are not going to believe this.
小卡还记得我为什么不让你
Cam, do you remember why I didn't want you
把莉莉衣柜的把手拆掉吗
to swap out the handles on Lily's dresser?
因为你缺乏设计者的眼光而且害怕改变
Because you lack a designer's eye and fear change?
不是因为我担心两星期之后
No. Because I was afraid two weeks would go by,
我们还在用小铲子
and we'd still be using a spatula
来拿莉莉的衣服
to get at Lily's clothes.
好吧现在有个更严重的问题
Okay, well, we have bigger issues.
猜猜他们今天在公园里砍掉了什么
Guess what they are cutting down at the park today?
-树吗 -对你怎么知道
- A tree? - Yes. How did you know that?
我"预感"超准
I played a hunch.
不是普通的树而是那棵"欧娜树"
Not just any tree, Tree-ona elmsly.
不是吧太糟了那可是我们野餐专用树啊
Oh, no. That's terrible. That's our picnic tree.
简直是噩梦
It's a nightmare.
小姑娘遗传了她老爸爱夸张的毛病哦
Well, someone's picked up her daddy's gift for hyperbole.
他们要锯掉一片天堂
They are literally chainsawing paradise
-来建一座停车场 -太糟糕了
- to put up a parking lot. - Oh, it's too bad.
我们得采取点措施
We have to do something.
如果我们早点知道是可以
Well, if we knew earlier, we could.
我很自责我揽了太多事
I blame myself. I've taken on too much.
你揽了哪些事来着
What exactly have you taken on?
你开什么玩笑上音乐课
Are you kidding me? Teaching music?
拆掉这个把手出演音乐剧
This dresser handle project? My role in the musical?
哎呀那个噢
Oh, that.
知道吗我不喜欢你的语气
You know what? I don't like your tone.
替角儿在任何演出中都最具挑战性
The understudy's the most challenging role in any production.
你必须时刻准备上场
You have to be ready at a moment's notice
去面对一群失望的观众
to go on and face a disappointed audience
他们本来是想看肯尼·范·海辛顿的
who was there to see Kenny Van Heffington.
那个卖♥♥保险的吗
Our insurance guy?
他的表演激动人心
He's breathtaking.
-是吗 -好吧我恨他
- Really? - Yeah, I hate him.
无所谓了我刚刚在说什么
Anyway, what was I talking about?
给衣柜装上新把手
Putting new handles on the dresser.
对了树的问题我得采取点措施
Right. The tree. I have to do something.
这样的日子我过不下去了
I can't live like this.
曼尼你再磨蹭我们就老了
Manny, while we're young!
他不想去
He doesn't want to go.
所以他才精心打扮了这么长时间
That's why he's taking so long with the primping.
像他这么大的男孩子根本不该打扮
A boy his age should do exactly zero primping.
你准备好了吗
You ready?
完全没有
Not in the least.
就该这样
That's the spirit.
我班上有个同学道格·布鲁克斯
This kid in my class, Doug Brooks,
每年都要举办运动主题的生日派对
has a sports-themed birthday party every year.
全是男生全是运动全天不停
All boys. All sports. All day.
他称之为"道林匹克"
He calls it the Doug-lympics,
可那也得他每4年举办一次
which might make sense if he did it every four years,
或者他名叫"奥"才说得通啊
or if his name was Al.
我只能说一切都是狗屁不通
Let's just say nothing about it works.
曼尼今天天气很好
Manny, it's a beautiful day outside.
去吧享受你的道林匹克
Go on. Enjoy your Dougy-lympics.
你不用非得赢奖牌找点儿乐子就行
You don't have to win a medal. Just have fun.
无论如何道格总会赢得最多的奖牌
Doug finishes with the most medals no matter what.
而且我觉得他邀请我
Plus I think he only invites me
只是因为他喜欢将肤色与国家联♥系♥起来
because he likes to match skin color to nation.
艾伦·严就是因此才会被邀请的
I know that's why Alan Yan gets invited.
我们明白的运动不是你的强项
Okay, we get it. Sports isn't your thing.
但你有时候得走出自己的"舒适小世界"
But you gotta step out of your comfort zone sometime.
看在老天爷的份上
And for god sake,
把这双尖头鞋换了吧
change out of those wingtips.
你还是个小孩子不是沙滩上的尼克松
You're a kid. You're not Nixon on the beach.
好吧我去换"运动专用鞋"
Fine. I'll put on my sporty shoes.
在哪儿来着
Where are they?
在鞋盒里尚未拆封
They're still in the box.
别忘了在你穿鞋子之前
And don't forget to take out the paper
把塞在里头的纸拿出来好吗
before you put them on, okay?
而且那就叫运动鞋
And they're called sneakers.
大家好啊
Hello, hello!
歌♥洛莉亚准备好出发了吗
Hey, Gloria. So, ready to go?
-去哪儿 -不是说好了去逛好市多吗
- Where? - Thought we were doing a Costco run.
我明白了
Oh, I see what this is.
你打电♥话♥叫克莱尔来照顾我这个傻瓜孕妇
You called Claire to babysit the stupid pregnant lady!
是你打电♥话♥给她的
You're the one who called her.
我有吗
I did?
我打给克莱尔的
I called Claire.
得有人看着歌♥洛莉亚
Gloria needs watching.
她的孕期健忘症很严重
She's got a serious case of pregnancy brain.
上周我在冰箱里找到一块肥皂
Last week, I found a bar of soap in the fridge
在浴室看到一块黄油
and a stick of butter in the shower.
我洗完一整天浑身都是爆米花般的黄油味
I walked around all day smelling like a bucket of popcorn.
总比我吃的"肥皂吐司"强
Better than the toast I ate.
那你还吃了两块
Yet you ate the second piece.
杰拜拜了我们走了
Jay! Bye-bye! We're leaving!
不是吧你我就站在这呢
Seriously? I'm right here.
下蹲下蹲揍他你个小怪胎
Duck! Duck! Come on and hit him, you little freak!
那也敢号♥称是左勾拳
Talk about a big left hook.
天呐我爱你
God, I love you.
菲尔填空[菲尔和填同音]
Phil in the blank!
比尔法案[比尔也有法案的意思]
Bill of rights!
老杰瑞[音同Geriatric--衰老的]
Jerry-atric!
艾伦他爹
Alan's dad!
伙计们卢克你准备好了吗
Hey, guys. Luke, you getting in there?
当然
Of course.
看呐又让我代表墨西哥队
Look, I'm Mexico. Again.