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Modern Family S04E18

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2019, 10:55 p.m.

我们要换掉那个
So we're gonna change that one.
我回来啦
I'm back.
快让我瞧瞧快让我瞧瞧
Okay, let me see, let me see, let me see!
你们得戴上...
You guys are want to, um...
我滴神啊
Oh, my god!
爱死了
I love it!
没事儿了
All clear.
好了所以...
Okay, so--
好棒啊真的好棒啊
So good! It is so good!
过去几个月里
For the last few months,
小卡和我合力翻新一座老房♥子
Cam and I have been redoing a house together
我们会进行炒房♥活动
that we're gonna flip,
不得不说进展非常顺利
and I have to say, it has been goin' great!
我们是绝佳组合
We make an amazing team.
-是啊关键就是信任 -绝对的
- Yeah. The key is trust. - Absolutely.
关键在于我让克莱尔以为是她在掌控大局
The key is, I let Claire think she's in charge.
我用更大更贵的东西掩藏我真正想要的
I hide what I want in something bigger and more expensive.
当她反对的时候
Then when she rejects that,
我们就能"妥协"成我一直想要的东西
we "compromise" on what I wanted all along.
我把这称为"特洛伊木马战术"
I call my method "The trojan horse."
知道我是怎么领养到莉莉的吗
You know how I got Lily?
我跟米奇说要领养三胞胎
I asked Mitchell for triplets.
你一定会爱死我挑的厨房♥台面砖
You are going to love what I found for the kitchen countertops.
来自意大利卡拉拉市
It's from Carrarra, Itlay.
米开朗基罗就是在那里找到大理石
It's where Michelangelo got the marble
雕刻出《大卫》的
to make the "David."
难怪大卫穿不起衣服呢
Now we know why the "David" couldn't afford any clothes.
好吧其实
Okay, well, uh...
我还挑了这款
I also found this one.
稍微逊色一些但没那么贵
It's not as nice, but it's less expensive.
这也超预算了但是
Well, it's still over budget, but...
我觉得就这个吧
I guess it's okay.
对了我们没买♥♥到你要的盥洗室设备
By the way, we couldn't get the powder room fixtures you wanted.
什么为什么
What? Why?
超预算23% 也就是982美元
Well, they're 23%, or $982, over the budget.
记住那块地方只占了
Keeping in mind, that space is only
1462平方英尺中的12%
12% of 1,462 square feet.
每次我要控制小卡的花销
Whenever I need to rein in Cam's spending,
我就运用我的"数据倾销"法
I employ something that I like to call "The number dump."
所以除非你愿意从地板预算中
So... unless you wanna cut 16%,
削减16% 也就是176♥4♥美元
or $1,76♥4♥ from somewhere in the flooring budget,
我们就还得削减4%
we've gotta find another 4% overall.
好吧不只要漂亮就行了没关系
Yeah. No, as long as they're pretty, it's fine. It's fine.
昨天我不小心说了个"十一十零五"
Yesterday, I accidentally said "Eleventy-five."
大家都知道我对这个项目有多认真
So everybody knows how hard I worked on that project.
我是说
I mean--
等等你在干嘛
Hey, wait. What are you doing?
把糖放回罐子里啊
Trying to put the sugar back in the thing.
去拿扫帚扫掉吧
Well, just go get the broom.
给我一美元我就吃
I'll eat it for a dollar.
我说为赚钱吃东西该怎么着
What did I say about eating things for money?
要价得高人们就会以为物有所值
Charge the most. Then people will think you're worth it.
没错那至少得5美元
That's right. That's at least $5.
-他说的是一美元 -拿扫帚去
- Hey, he said a dollar. - Broom.
老爸我找不到我的围巾了
Hey, dad, I can't find my scarf,
衣柜的灯也坏了
and the closet light's burnt out.
-那就换灯泡啊 -我够不着
- So just change it. - I can't reach it.
要是有什么魔法
Oh, if only there was some magical way
能让人接近天花板就好了
of getting up closer to the ceiling.
你刚刚说话的语气很像迪兰
Okay, now you just sound like Dylan.
我说的是梯子啦
I'm saying get a step stool.
一件一件来好吗
One thing at a time, okay?
什么情况
What is happening?
我在扫地啊
I'm sweeping.
不你这不是扫地
No, you're not sweeping.
而是把糖都扫分散了
You're just spreading it all around.
现在要我吃的话收费得提高了
It's gonna cost more if you want me to eat it now.
那一刻我突然发现
That's when it hit me--
我的女儿们完全不会做家务
My daughters know nothing about home care and maintenance.
我不希望她们这么依赖
I don't want 'em to be dependent.
我该向她们展示一位自强自立的
It's up to me to show them what a modern,
现代女性该是什么样了
self-sufficient woman looks like.
小心点继续这样下去
Careful. Keep that up,
他要打电♥话♥给车管局时就会按"兔"键
he'll have to hit "Numero dos" when he calls the DMV.
等到他会打电♥话♥的时候
By the time, he's old enough to call,
会按数字键"万"
tt will be "Numero uno."
太好了他来了
Ay, there he is.
曼尼你为什么自己跑到外面去吃早餐
Manny, why did you have breakfast alone outside?
我喜欢吃露天早餐
I felt like eating breakfast alfresco.
意思是说他把裤子都脱了吗
Does that mean he had his pants off?
因为如果我不行他也不行
Because if I can't, he can't.
杰他这一整个星期都自己在外面吃饭
Jay, he's been eating outside on his own all week.
你觉得是不是因为我把注意力
Do you think that he feels left out
都集中到乔身上他感觉受冷落了
because of all the attention I give Joe?
我也在想同样的事
You know, I've been wondering the same thing.
跟你说不如今天下午就让我带乔
Tell you what--why don't I have some father-son time
享受父子时光
with Joe this afternoon
你去陪陪曼尼
and give you some time with Manny?
好啊你真贴心
Ay, that's so sweet.
你可以带乔去上宝宝班
You can take Joe to his baby class.
歌♥洛莉亚我觉得他知道该怎么做宝宝
Gloria, I think he already knows how to be a baby.
我爱你但你这话我可笑不出来了
I love you, but I can't laugh at that again.
曼尼你放学后我去接你
Manny, how about I pick you up after school,
我们享受一下母子专属时光怎么样
and we both have a special day?
我之前跟杰说过
Well, I did talk to Jay
要买♥♥票参加一个读书会的事儿
about getting some tickets for this reading.
什么读书会
What reading?
不是吧你
Seriously?
《大白鲸》的读书会啊
The stage reading of "Moby Dick"?
我昨天晚上跟你说的
I told you about it last night.
我完全记不起来了
I have zero recollection of this.
我就知道我不该给你倒第二杯威士忌
I knew I shouldn't have poured you that second Scotch.
抱歉伙计但我已经决定
Sorry, buddy, but I already committed
今天下午陪乔了
to spending the afternoon with Joe
好让你妈妈能多点时间陪陪你
so you and your mom could have more time together.
也许她能带你去
Hey, maybe she can take you.
-可以吗老妈 -当然了亲爱的
- Can we, mom? - Of course, mi amor.
今天是你的专属日你想做什么都行
It's your special day. We'll do whatever you want.
太好了这将成为你永生难忘的4小时
Great. This is gonna be four hours you'll never forget.
伙计看来只剩我们"兔"了
Hey, buddy. Looks like it's just the dos of us.
我怎么觉得你好像暗中捣鬼了
Why do I feel that you did something shifty?
我毫不知情
I have no idea.
但说真的这可不是你的优良品质
But I gotta say, it's not your best quality.
好了亲爱的祝你今天开心
All right, sweetie, you have a good day.
爸爸看我玩手球吧
Watch me play handball, daddy.
好的
Oh, okay.
下一个
Next!
那是麦洛他打败了所有人
That's Milo. He beats everybody.
下一个手下败将
Next loser!
-他真刻薄 -我看出来了
- He's mean. - Yeah, I'm gettin' that.
-下一个 -到你了
- Next! - That's you.
又是个女的
Another girl?
亲爱的亲爱的
Hey, sweetie? Sweetie?
你一定会很棒的
You're gonna do great, okay?
你说是就是呗
If you say so.
下一个
Next!
麦洛这是我的错
Uh, Milo? That-- that was my fault.
我分散了她的注意力
I distracted her,
所以或许可以让她再来一次
So maybe she could just go again?
不带重玩的下一个
No do-overs. Next!