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Modern Family S04E07

Part 2 Nov. 30, 2019, 10:55 p.m.

亲爱的
Honey...
放松点
Try to relax.
我放松不下来菲尔
I don't feel like relaxing, Phil!
她进大学才六个礼拜
She has been in college for six weeks.
没错每个人刚去的时候都会有点疯狂
Yeah, and everyone goes a little crazy at first.
我记得大学头一年的一个晚上
I remember one night freshman year,
我们飞盘高尔夫球队的一些人
a bunch of us on the frisbee golf team
拿一箱芝马酒不必多说
got a case of zima. Enough zaid.
说得够多了
More than enough.
说实话
I'm not gonna lie.
菲尔面对压力还那么淡定有时候让我很恼火
Sometimes it bothers me how calm Phil is under pressure.
感觉像是
It's like...
像是我反应过激了一样
like I'm the one who's overreacting.
很好宣泄出来这样
That's good. Let it out. It's g--
我要杀了你
I'm going to kill you.
杰你今天有时间吗
Jay, do you have some time today?
我们得去选一辆婴儿车
We need to go and pick out a stroller.
你想买♥♥什么样的就买♥♥去吧
Just get whatever you want.
反正你也从来不会听我的意见
I mean, it's what you're gonna do anyway.
我想要的是一位
What I want is a husband
喜欢陪我逛街买♥♥婴儿车的丈夫
who likes to go shopping for a stroller with me.
如果你丈夫有挑选婴儿车的爱好
If you had a husband who liked picking out strollers,
你就不会怀上孩子了
you wouldn't be having a baby.
谁要陪我去
So who wants to come with me
今晚的演讲节
to the Spoken Word Festival this evening?
我只有两张票
I only have two tickets,
有人可能要失望了哦
so somebody's gonna be disappointed.
我想是你要失望了
I think it's gonna be you.
曼尼我想跟你一起去可是我好累啊
Ay, Manny, I would go with you, but I'm so tired.
你才刚刚起床怎么会累
You just woke up. How are you tired?
因为我正在把食物加工成人
Maybe because I'm turning food into a human!
杰会带你去
Jay will take you.
抱歉我也很想去
Sorry, I would love to go to the spoken word festival,
但我得去
but I'm already going to the
"不如炸掉我脑袋"狂欢节
I'd-rather- blow-my-brains-out jamboree.
难以置信
I can't believe this.
我居然生活在一片文化荒原
I'm living in a cultural wasteland.
配备温水泳池
With a heated pool.
曼尼快点上学快迟到了
Manny, vamos. You're gonna be late for school.
老天
Oh, jeez.
你好啊迪迪
Hello, DeDe.
早上好杰合十致敬
Good morning, Jay. Namaste.
别这样
Let's not do this.
好吧小傻瓜
Oh, fine, silly.
我在去奥哈伊的一家静修所的路上
I'm on my way to a retreat in Ojai,
既然我将路过市中心
and since I'm passing through town,
我想顺便拿那本相册
I thought I'd pick up that photo album.
现在可真不是时候
You know, it's really not a good time.
拜托
Oh, please.
好吧我到街上等你
All right. I'll meet you on the street.
车窗打开开慢点
Drive by slow with the window open.
我正担心迪迪发现歌♥洛莉亚怀孕了
I was dreading DeDe finding out that Gloria's pregnant.
迪迪很在乎的一件事就是
It's one thing DeDe's hung on to,
她是我孩子的母亲
that she's the mother of my kids.
考虑到她们以往的恩怨
And considering their history...
我想
I-I wanna...
-扭断你的脖子 -什么
- rip your head off! - What?
别这样快停下
No! Please stop it! Whoa!
别迪迪
Eh? No! DeDe!
我不希望还有第四轮较量
I wasn't exactly looking forward to round four,
特别是歌♥洛莉亚现在体积庞大行动迟缓
especially now that Gloria's a bigger, slower target.
往常这时候我在吃早饭呢
I'd normally be having breakfast right now.
老爸好
Hi, dad.
克莱尔有什么新进展吗
Hey, Claire. Any updates?
没有不过我们快到了
Not yet, but we're almost there.
上次你来家里
Last time you were over at the house,
看了一本相册
you were looking at that photo album.
你把它放哪儿了
What'd you do with it?
老爸那是我
Oh, dad, that was me.
我大概是把它放在吧台后面的架子上了
I think I put it on the shelf behind the bar.
你在那做什么
What are you doing there?
他们让我陪他们过来
They asked me to come along
以防他们需要位律师
in case they needed a lawyer.
他们不该请一位真律师吗
Shouldn't they have a real lawyer?
天呐我们该不该呢
Oh, God. Should we?
我就是位真律师各位
I am a real lawyer, people.
环境法也是法啊
Environmental law is a thing.
别对我的话那么挑刺
Don't get all sensitive on me.
我的意思是别找个替大熊猫辩护的律师
I mean someone who doesn't defend pandas.
没错老爸那正是我的工作
Yeah, dad, 'cause that's what I do.
我在法庭上替大熊猫的权益辩护
I-I defend pandas in court.
真可爱
That's adorable.
你知道我是什么意思
You know what I'm talking about.
海莉需要懂刑法的人
Haley needs somebody who knows criminal law,
比如佩瑞·梅森 [美侦探小说虚构人物]
like Perry Mason.
所以我不是真正的律师佩瑞·梅森倒是了
Okay, so I'm not a real lawyer, but Perry Mason is?
见鬼
Oh, hell.
你好迪迪你怎么样啊
Hello, DeDe. How're you doing?
还不错
Oh, mostly fine.
我安了一种叫做伸缩式子♥宫♥的东西
I have something called a telescoping uterus.
-说来话长 -上帝
- Long story. - Aw, jeez.
给我让开
Out of my way!
-让开 -我喘不上来气了
- Out of my way! - I can't breathe!
这孩子喘不上来气了
This boy can't breathe.
他有过敏反应
He's having a severe allergic reaction.
不是是你压的
No. You're squeezing me.
他得吃药他嗓子要堵上了
He needs medicine. His throat is closing up.
好等等
Okay. Hold on.
有一名过敏反应病人
We have an allergic reaction.
是个小男孩呼吸不畅
A young boy. Obstructed breathing.
怎么了
What happened?
有人给他吃了大豆做的培根
Well, somebody gave him some soy bacon...
做得太好了他没看出来差别
That was so good, he couldn't tell the difference.
米奇尔我现在说话不方便
Mitchell, I can't talk right now.
小卡是克莱尔我电♥话♥关机了
Cam, it's Claire. My phone died.
我就是想确认下孩子们已经顺利到学校了
I just wanted to make sure the kids got to school okay.
是的他们当然去了怎么会没有
Oh, yeah, of course they did. Why wouldn't they have?
-我听说有位男孩不能呼吸 -在这里
- I hear we got a boy who can't breathe? - Right here.
什么情况
What was that?
我正看一部生活台原创电影
Oh, I'm just watching an original Lifetime movie
叫做《不能呼吸的男孩》
called "The boy who can't breathe."
听着像艾丽克斯的声音
That sounded like Alex.
不是是阿曼达·拜恩斯我得挂了
Nope. Just Amanda Bynes. Okay, gotta go.
小卡小卡
Cam. Cam?
奇了怪了
That's weird.
你能想象我们路过了多少家华夫饼店吗
Can you believe how many waffle places we passed?
我无法想象老爸有多么轻视我
I can't believe how much dad belittles me.
有多少来着五家六家
What were there? Five? Six?
我做过法律评论编辑
I edited the law review.
司法考试一次就过了
I passed the bar on my first try.
我还拎着公文包
I have a briefcase.
回去的路上我得数数
I'm counting them on the way back.
注意力集中
Can we focus?
你好我们是为海莉·邓菲来的
Uh, hi. We're here for Haley Dunphy.
我是米奇尔·普里契特邓菲小姐的律师
I'm Mitchell Pritchett. I'm Miss Dunphy's attorney.
她今天不需要律师
She won't be needing a lawyer today.
我觉得这该由我说了算
Oh, I think I'll be the judge of that.
我现在要和我的当事人谈谈谢谢
I'd like to confer with my client now. Thank you.
你们只需要交上保释金就可以把她带走了
All you have to do is post bail, and she's all yours.
真的吗那那太好了
Really? Oh. That--that's fantastic.