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Modern Family S04E15
Part 1
Nov. 30, 2019, 10:55 p.m.
2月13日 下午5点
克里夫·比克斯比
Clive Bixby.
多么性感的惊喜啊
What a sexy surprise.
快速问答
Quick question.
你从天堂坠落时疼吗
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
因为你
Because you--uh...
我重新来一次
I'm gonna come in again.
情人节我们得照看小宝贝乔
We are watching baby Joe on Valentine's Day
方便我爸和歌♥洛莉亚可以
so my dad and Gloria can...
-做♥爱♥ -恶 别这样
- Make love. - Ew. Don't.
重点是我们要提前一天庆祝节日
The point is, we are celebrating a day early.
好让他们有空亲热
So they can finally be intimate.
你 说得太多了
You've... more than made that point.
我只是说他们生完孩子后已经等很久了
I'm just saying it's a long wait after giving birth.
六周了
Six weeks.
我绝对没办法那么长时间不碰这位
I couldn't keep my hands off this one for that long.
我能想象杰该多痛苦
I can only imagine what Jay's going through.
瞧
Voila.
方结 真了不起
Square knot. Impressive.
我可以打各种各样的结
I can make any kind of knot.
就像我嘴里有位水手似的
It's like I have a sailor in my mouth.
我得打探一下孩子们的情况
I should check on the kids.
海莉带他们去看电影了 不会接的
Haley took 'em to a movie. She's not even gonna answer.
我知道 但是亲爱的 我没办法不担心
I know, but, sweetie, I have a good reason to worry.
卢克早上鼻血流得厉害
Luke had that nasty nosebleed this morning,
而艾丽克斯又一如既往地晕过去了
and Alex, as usual, fainted.
她没事的 而且邓菲家人容易流鼻血
She's fine, and Dunphy men get nosebleeds.
我结婚的时候就告诉你了 誓词中有说
I told you this when we got married. It was in my vows.
我还是有点不明白你为什么要在誓词中提这个
I'm still a little unclear as to why you put them in your vows--
快喝完那杯饮料吧 美女
Just finish that drink, pretty lady.
我们要赶着过漫漫春宵呢
We got a big night ahead of us.
好吧
Okay.
首先我们玩点儿风流浪漫
First, we have a date with romance.
3P 如果你愿意的话
A threesome, if you will.
接着我们将进行老式"飞船野餐"
From here, we move on to an old-fashioned blimpnic.
是那种男人面对着女人...
Now is that the one where the man has to face out at the woman...
在小飞船上野餐
It's a picnic on a blimp.
香槟 奶酪 美丽的城市尽收眼底
Champagne, cheese, and this beautiful city beneath us.
听起来真浪漫
That actually sounds really romantic.
之后我们摘下耳塞 换上御寒耳套
After that, we swap our earplugs for some earmuffs,
到溜冰场的月光下旋转飞舞
And take a few moonlit turns around the local ice rink.
接着 我们就迅速回到旅馆
From there, it's a quick trip back to the hotel,
-在那里 - 我觉得天旋地转
- where... - I'm spinning.
我可不想以此开场
Well, I wouldn't start with that,
但是 我们可以慢慢达到那种境界
but, uh, we--we can work our way up to it.
不是 我真的感觉不妙
No. I'm feeling really weird.
听到了吗 克里夫 告诉我你想要什么
Catch that, Clive? Just tell me what you want.
朱莉安娜
Juliana?
克莱尔
Claire?
你们俩得回答我一个啊
One of you needs to answer me.
血压还正常
Blood pressure's still good.
你可以回家了
I think I can send you home.
太好了 只是因为低血糖吗
Great. So it was probably just low blood sugar or something?
看吧 亲爱的 早就说没什么好担心的嘛
See, honey? I told you it was nothing to worry about.
不是没什么
Well, it's not nothing.
当时你确实有心动过速的情况
You did have a small heart episode.
科本医生 那可能是我的错
Dr. Coben, this may have been my fault.
我当时可能 太性感了
I think I was being... too sexy.
我不认为是那个问题
Yeah, I don't think that's an issue.
你确定吗
You sure about that?
医生 你的意思不是指
Um, doctor, you're not saying that
我是心脏病发作吧
I had a heart attack or something, right?
不是 只是非常轻微的心律不齐
Not at all. What you have is a very minor arrhythmia,
也就是常说的预激综合征
known as wolff-parkinson-white syndrome.
那是遗传性的 所以跟你没关系
It's hereditary, so you're off the hook.
对啊 我妈有这病
Oh, yeah. My mom has that.
我们会进行药物治疗
We'll treat it with medication
你们几天后再回来
and have you back in a couple of days.
同时 悠着点就行了
In the meantime, just take it easy.
好的 谢谢
Okay. Thank you!
我们是不是该跟你♥爸♥说
I guess we should tell your dad
我们明天照顾不了宝宝了
we can't watch the baby tomorrow.
不行 不行
No. No.
我不想让别人知道
I don't want everyone to know about this.
他们会担心的
They're just gonna get worried
然后小题大做
and--and make a bigger deal of it than it is.
亲爱的 答应我
Sweetheart, promise me?
好啦我答应 我知道不是什么大事
I promise. I know it's not that big a deal.
那是非常大的事
This is a huge deal...
我绝对要负一点责任
for which I'm partly responsible,
不管克莱尔的拉拉医生怎么说
in spite of what Claire's lesbian doctor says.
亲爱的 我在看这种病的相关资料
Hey, honey, I was just reading about this wolff-white thing.
没那么严重 你会没事的
It's not that serious. You're gonna be fine.
我知道
I know.
有人想去滑冰吗
Who's ready to hit the ice?
-什么 -拜托
- What? - Come on.
有人答应我去月下滑冰的
Somebody promised me a moonlit skate.
但医生不是让你悠着点吗
But didn't the doctor say you needed to take it easy?
他们总是这样说啦
Oh, that's just one of those things they have to say,
比如怀孕的时候别喝酒
Like, "You can't drink when you're pregnant."
拜托 我们不能白白浪费了情人节啊
Come on. We're not gonna seriously blow off valentine's day,
对吧
are we?
不 我只是想为什么 要去溜"冰"
No. I just thought why... ice things down
我们可以好好亲"热"
when we could heat things up?
-我喜欢这样 -是吗
- Oh, I like where this is going. - Right?
-是啊 -是吗
- Yes. - Yeah?
是 不
Ye--no!
亲爱的 我知道你要干嘛
Honey, I know what you're doing.
你把我当成个病人
You're treating me like a patient,
-但你答应过我不会这样的 -不
- and you promised that you wouldn't. - No.
不不不 我想到了个更好的点子
No, no, no, no, no. I just had a better idea.
什么
What?
肩并肩夫妻按♥摩♥
Side-by-side couples massage.
只有你和我 以及几个柬埔寨人
Just you, me, and a couple Cambodian guys
让我们全身爽翻天
to work us over good.
真具体
Specific.
什么声音
What is that?
是孩子们回家了吗
You think the kids are home?
好像不止我们家那三个
That sounds like more than our three.
他们以为我们不在家 就开派对了
They think we're not home, and they're having a party.
-我要杀了他们 -不不不 不不不
- I'm killing them. - No, no, no. No, no, no.
首先 应该由我去杀了他们
"A"--it's my turn to kill them.
其次 你还得打电♥话♥叫按♥摩♥师
"B"--you need to order up those massages.
在"顶尖美国可口可乐好时光按♥摩♥所"下面
It's under "Best number one U.S.A. Coca-cola good time massage."
搞什么玩意儿啊
What the hell is going on?!
爸 你怎么在家
Dad? What are you doing home?
你们就这样吗
So this is how it is?
我们前脚出门 你们后脚就搞起了派对
We're gone for a minute, and you guys throw a party?
没有
No!
刚给妈发短♥信♥说我们在电影院玩得很爽
Just texted mom we're having a good time at the movies.
每回都有效
It works every t--aah!
-居然还经常这么搞 -没有
- So this is a regular thing? - No!
你们都很熟悉了吧 凉饮在后 面
You know the drill. Coolers our b--aah--ack!
够了 把音响关掉
Enough! Turn off the music!
不是我生的 立刻给我滚出去
Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now!
我不想生气
I don't want to get upset.
我今晚已经够难受的了
I've been through enough tonight.
-出什么事了 -我不该告诉你们的
- What happened? - I'm not supposed to tell you.
你这么说 我们只会更乱想
When you say it like that, we make it worse in our head.
好吧 不是什么大事
Fine. It's no big deal.
你们的妈妈进了趟医院
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