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Modern Family S04E05

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2019, 10:54 p.m.

前院里怎么有那么多巨型棒棒糖啊
Why there are giant lolipops all over the front yard?
怎么味道那么怪呢
And why they taste so bad?
因为是硬纸板做的蠢蛋
Because they are made of cardboard, mouth breather.
世界需要梦想家卢克
Hey, the world needs more dreamers, Luke
舔舐不息梦想不止
Never stop licking things.
我知道很挫
I know it's lame,
可是去年答应了邻居们
but after last year we promised the neighbours
我们会把装饰弄得和谐一点
we would keep our decorations more family friendly.
我们连刻个南瓜都不行吗
We can't carve a pumpkin?
他们的请♥愿♥书写得十分具体
The petition was very specific.
每次万圣节我们家装扮得最恐怖
Every Halloween, we have the best house.
去年我的水平更上一层楼
Last year, I took things to a whole new level.
但显然对于某些孩子来说太恐怖了
But appearently it's too scary for some kids.
外加一个大人
And one adult.
不给糖就捣蛋
Trick-or-treat!
你们想要点糖吃吗
Would you like some candy?
是的
Yeah!
还是更想要这个呢
Or would you rather have this?
别装了才吓不着你呢
Come on. You're fine.
我才不管别人说什么
I don't care what anyone says.
反正不是你害的那人心脏病发作
You did not give that man a heart attack.
谢谢
Thank you.
你根本就不吓人
I mean, you're not even scary.
我能抓点糖吗
Can I grab a little bit of this candy
给今晚看♥房♥♥的客户们吃
for my open house tonight?
可以当然可是
Uh, yeah, sure, but...
太有才了在万圣节办开放参观
It's genius. An open house on Halloween.
当爹妈的无聊透了
Millions of bored parents,
平常忙着照看孩子不出车祸
just trying to keep their... kids out of traffic.
现在他们可以脱身啦
Now they can get away from all that,
去参观一座好房♥子
And see a nice house.
什么叫我根本就不吓人啊
What do you mean, I'm not even scary?
我差点吓出一条人命来
I literally almost scared the life out of a man.
你就是把人家吓出了点白沫
You literally scared a little saliva
吓出了点尿
And a little urine out of him.
我每次看到猴子穿着人的衣服闹腾就这样
That happens to me every time I see a monkey wearing people clothes.
我相当吓人
I was plenty scary.
我的妆容可是专业等级的
I used professional-grade makeup.
说到点子上了克莱尔你太过了
That's the point, Claire. It was overkill.
你是那种
You're the kind of person
不化妆才吓死人的女人再见
who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup. Bye.
你记得去把戏服取回来了是吧
You remembered to pick up the costumes, right?
对的放在那儿了
Yes, they're right over there.
太激动人心了
Very excited.
小卡减了不少肥
Cam has lost a lot of weight--
打住
No.
所以我们打算开个万圣节派对
So we're throwing a Halloween party
让全新的小卡粉墨登场
to debut the new him.
我将扮成斗牛士
I'll be dressed as a matador.
小蛮腰现在尺寸多少 30英寸吗
Wh-what is it now, 30?
32.4英寸
32.4
相当于我把莉莉生出来了[丢了]
So I've lost Lily.
莉莉去哪儿了
Where is lily?
-你她没有跟你一起吗 -没
- Do you--you don't have her? - No.
她怎么会跟我在一起呢
Why would I have her?
-我又没把她装在口袋里 -小卡
- I don't have her in my pocket. - Cam?
皇冠头饰呢
What about the tiara?
我们没买♥♥
Uh, we didn't buy one.
你可以戴去年的
You can just use the one from last year.
我们变穷了吗
Are we poor?
不是甜心你用不着两个皇冠头饰啊
No, sweetheart, but you don't need two tiaras.
明年万圣节你换套服装怎么样啊
How about next Halloween you try a different costume?
不行我必须扮公主
No. I have to be a princess.
每年都要吗为什么
Every year? Why?
因为我妈妈是个公主
Because my mom's a princess,
你告诉我的
Just like you told me.
我和小卡都知道早晚有一天
Cam and I have always known that someday,
我们得和莉莉谈谈
we were gonna have to have the big talk with lily,
她妈妈的事
about who her mom was.
我我们会找准时机
We--we were gonna pick the right time
一起跟她谈
and do it together,
严格按我们商量好的剧本上演
Carefully following an agreed-upon script.
然后有一天我累了
Then I got tired.
"她是人间天堂魔幻三界最漂亮的公主
"And she was the most beautiful princess in all the land.
剧终"
The end."
多少遍了啊
Again.
为什么泰勒的妈妈那么肥
Why is Tyler's mommy so fat?
那是因为她她怀着个小宝宝
Oh, that's because she has-- she has a baby in her belly.
行了吧晚安
Okay? Good night.
我妈妈也怀过我吗
Was I in my mom's belly?
莉莉不许再问了好吧
Lily, no more questions, all right?
快快睡觉
Just--just go to sleep.
我妈妈现在在哪儿
Where's my mom now?
她在
Um, she's...
在遥远的国度
in a faraway land.
为什么
Why?
因为她是个公主
Because she's a princess.
并且她很忙很忙
And she's... very, very busy.
好吧
Okay.
我以为她第二天早晨就忘了呢
I thought that she'd forget about it by the next morning.
反正我是忘了
I mean, I did.
我知道终究是要告诉小卡的
Oh, I knew I was gonna have to tell Cam,
他知道了肯定会很生气
and he was gonna be furious,
但我希望他能意识到更严重的问题
but I was hoping that he'd see the bigger issue.
我当时真的累惨了
You know, I was really tired.
小卡你知道莉莉
Hey, Cam, you know this whole thing
今年又想打扮成公主吗
about Lily wanting to be a princess again?
我想那可能是因为我让她相信
Well, I-I think it might be because I let her believe
-她妈妈是 -真是场噩梦
- her mother was-- - This is a nightmare.
-只是犯了点小错 -简直是灾难啊
- It was just a mistake. - More like a disaster.
他们送来的斗牛士服是按你的尺寸做的
They sent the matador costume in your size,
而公牛服按我的尺寸做的
and the bull costume in mine.
我没注意到
Oh. I didn't notice. Um...
穿着这件肥大的公牛服
Now no one's gonna see my bod
别人看不到人家的好身材了啦
in this bulky bull costume.
这个真的是无心之过啦
It was--it was honestly a mistake.
听着你也可以尝试你以前想试的造型
L-listen, um, you--you could do that other thing that you thought of.
你现在也可以穿那套
You could put on that gorgeous white suit
超美超合身的白色西服
that fits you so well now,
然后扮演洛克先生
and you could be Mr. Roarke,
[电视剧《梦幻岛》男主角和他的小搭档]
让莉莉扮你的"小纹身"
and Lily could be your Tattoo.
不行人家就要当公主
No! I have to be a princess!
但是莉莉你去年就扮过公主了呀
Oh, but, Lily, you were a princess last year.
不行你答应过我的我就要当公主
No! You promised! I'm being a princess!
她为什么这么痴迷于公主
Why is she so obsessed with princesses?
怎么说呢
Well...
谁小时候没有痴迷的东西啊
Like we weren't at that age?
我是说
I mean...
我不是因为这罚单生气
I'm not mad about the ticket.
只是这是我第一次没能成功地
It's just the first time I couldn't charm my way
利用个人魅力免于处罚
Out of one of these things.
在我看来这不是罚单问题
The way I see it, it's not a ticket.
而是社交问题
It's a conversation.
无意冒犯但你根本不需要警笛
No offense. You don't need that siren.
你一下警车别人就都停下来盯着看了
You could stop traffic just getting out of that squad car.
请给我你的驾照和车辆注册证
License and registration, please.
我
I, uh...
我对警♥察♥学校挺熟的
I'm no stranger to the police academy myself.
[名为《警♥察♥学校》的系列电影]
我看过全7部电影
Seen all seven of them.