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Modern Family S04E09

Part 2 Nov. 30, 2019, 10:55 p.m.

到底有没有人在乎我不是墨西哥来的
Does anybody care that I'm not from mexico?
你总那么说
You keep saying that,
不过我们谁也没看过你的出生证明
but we've never seen a birth certificate.
好了我5点钟会过来接你
All right, look, I'll pick you up at 5:00.
玩得"昏"天暗地吧
Knock yourself out.
或者更好的拳击场上把别人打"昏"吧
Or better still, knock someone else out.
杰你要去哪儿
Jay, where you headed?
你不如就在这里和其他当爹的喝杯啤酒吧
Why don't you stick around and grab a beer with the dads?
我都不认识这些人
Oh, I don't really know those guys.
我想我还是去趟俱乐部打打球吧
I think I'll just swing by the club, hit a few balls.
来吧我介绍你跟他们认识
Well, come here. Let me introduce you around.
嘿伙计们
Hey, guys,
这位是杰我的岳父曼尼的后爹
This is Jay, my father-in-law. Manny's stepdad.
你好吗 "杰冻"[Jello果冻]
Hey, what's up, Jay-lo?
好的伙计们一会儿见
Okay, guys, I'll see you later.
怎么了杰
What's the matter, Jay?
不敢踏出自己的"舒适小世界"吗
Afraid to step outside your comfort zone?
我要把你遣返墨西哥
I will send you back to Mexico.
其实不是我叫你过来的对吧
I didn't really call you, did I?
对是我爸不过我还以为你知道呢
No, my dad did. But I thought you knew.
我想对他大发雷霆
Ugh. I want to be so mad at him,
可他做的对
but he's right.
我现在身上有两个脑袋
I have two brains in my body,
却史无前例得傻
but I've never been so dumb.
正常我理解你
It happens. I get it.
你身体里还有另外一个人
You have another human being inside of you,
跟你争夺营养
competing for resources.
当年我怀艾丽克斯的时候
Look, when I was pregnant with Alex,
我连自己叫什么都记不住
I could barely remember my name.
怀海莉和卢克的时候也这样吗
Same with Haley and Luke?
没那么严重
Mm, not so much.
他们好像就在里面闲着似的随便我做什么
They kind of just hung out in there, let me do my thing.
谢谢你理解我
Thank you for understanding.
你过来我真高兴
I'm glad that you came.
有助于避免我忘了什么事儿
It will help me not to forget stuff.
我也很高兴能帮上忙我...
I'm glad I can help out. I--
你为什么不先停车
Why didn't you stop first?!
爸爸在哪儿
Where's daddy?
我不知道亲爱的
I don't know, sweetie.
他告诉我在欧娜树那里见
He said to meet him by Tree-ona.
米奇尔莉莉
Mitchell! Lily!
他在哪儿
Where is he?
上面往上看
Up here! Look up here!
小卡你在上面干嘛
Cam, what are you doing up there?
我本来想过来和这棵树道别
I came down to say good bye to the tree,
给它最后一个拥抱
give it one final hug,
不知道怎么就上来了
and before I knew it, I was up here.
当你说"最后一个拥抱"的时候...
When you say "One final hug"...
要是我占住这棵树他们就不会砍它了
If I'm occupying the tree, they can't cut it down.
我谷歌♥了一下是真的
I googled it. It's a thing.
莉莉你看这就是个噩梦
Okay, Lily, see, this is a nightmare.
那还用你说
Tell me about it.
说实话你喜欢把待做事项都列清楚提前规划
You know what? You're a list-maker, a planner.
我是践行者和实干家
I'm a doer and an action taker!
如果他们拍这种电影会找西恩·潘演我
Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this,
或者他们想拍女性题材的会找安妮·海瑟薇
or Anne Hathaway, if they wanted a female-driven vehicle.
那会找谁扮演你饱受折磨的伴侣呢
And who would play your long-suffering partner?
朱莉安·摩尔两种都是她
Julianne Moore, either way.
我能看出来我能我知道
I would totally see that. I would.
你好我领导想知道
Hey! My supervisor wants to know
你有没有精神病史
if you have a history of mental illness.
没有先生我没有
No, sir, I do not.
好了小卡说来听听有什么计划
All right, Cam, let's hear. What's the plan?
我不知道我是走一步看一步
I don't know. I'm sort of making it up as I go.
你确定你想要这么做
Are you sure you wanna do this?
我这辈子从来没对什么事这么确定过
Yes. I've never been more sure about anything in my life.
我们得教会女儿树立坚定立场的价值
We need to teach our daughter the value of taking a stand,
无论付出什么代价
no matter the sacrifice!
喂
Hello?
好的我立刻就来
Done. I'll be right there .
米奇尔你得上树来我得走了
Mitchell, you need to get up here. I have to go.
什么
Excuse me?
是我们歌♥剧团打来的有个演员病了
That was my theater troupe. An actor's sick.
我得过去顶一场日场演出
I have to go and do the matinee.
不是说要教莉莉树立坚定的立场吗
What happened to showing Lily the value of taking a stand?
那是极其重要的
It's the lead.
向她展现一个人信守承诺
It's also important to show her the value
也是非常重要的
of honoring one's commitments.
这种情况下我的承诺优先于我的立场
And in this case, my commitment preceded my stand!
真是你的一贯作风小卡
This is so you, Cam.
你发起一件事却总指望我替你收场
You start something, and then you expect me to finish it.
所以你是不会上来的是吗
So you're not coming up here?
不我才不走吧
No! No, I'm not. Come on.
米奇尔
Mitchell?
莉莉第一次翻身那天我们在哪儿
Where were we the first day Lily rolled over?
在这棵树下
Under this tree.
我们第一次玩藏猫猫的大本部在哪儿
Where is home base when we play hide-and-go-seek?
在这棵树下
Under this tree.
还有在危险的暴雨闪电中
And where did we take shelter
我们的避难所在哪儿
during that dangerous lightning storm?
虽然那不是个好主意不过是在这棵树下
Wasn't a good idea, but it was under this tree.
爹地你一定要救救这棵树
Daddy, you've got to save the tree!
是啊爹地你得救救这棵树
Yeah, daddy, you have to save the tree!
行好吧
Okay, okay.
但你完事以后立马给我回来
But you get back here the second you are done.
我不擅长拒绝那些冲到后台求签名的粉丝
Well, I can't very well turn away fans that come backstage.
立马回来
The second!
去年夏天我姐拍了一张我的大糗照
Last summer, my sister took a totally humiliating photo of me.
海莉这不好笑
Haley, that's not funny!
她把照片发到了Facebook上
Then she posted it to Facebook
并且拒绝删掉
and refused to take it down.
有873个人赞
It got 873 likes.
与此同时我却一张海莉的糗照都没有
Meanwhile, there's not one embarrassing photo of Haley.
连她的犯罪照都很漂亮
Even her mug shots were cute.
今天我要报仇雪恨
Today, I get my revenge.
拍一张海莉脏兮兮汗淋淋
One photo of Haley, dirty, sweaty,
像罪犯一样捡垃圾的照片
picking up trash like a criminal.
那会成为我最得意的时刻
It'll be my finest moment.
我希望自己能在近几年内多交些朋友
In a few years, I hope to have some more friends
别再闲到干这种事的地步
and not have time for this kind of stuff.
我回来了
Okay. Hey.
你去哪了
Where did you go?
去拿了件运动衫
To get a sweatshirt.
我们已经在速冻食品区站了半个小时了
We've been standing in the frozen food aisle for half an hour.
我要买♥♥速冻食品
I need something frozen.
好买♥♥哪个
Right. What?
不知道我只写了一个"冻"字
I don't know. I just wrote the word "frozen."
好吧好好想想
Okay. Uh, let's think.
豌豆冰激凌冻比萨饼还是华夫饼
Peas. Ice cream. Pizza. Waffles.
等一下
Wait a minute.
我写的是"打"字我要买♥♥的是鸡蛋
It says "dozen." I need the eggs!
是鸡蛋啊好
Ah, the eggs. Okay.
不对在另一边
Ay, no, on the other side.
老天我我来推车
Oh, god. I-I'll get the carts.
真是... 抱歉
So that's... Oh, sorry.
那辆也是我的是我的我抓住了
That's... That's me. That's me. I got it.
加把劲伙计们我们快顶不住了
Come on, guys! You're killing us!
墨西哥小子跑哪去了
Where the heck is Mexico?
好消息先生们我又找到一根绳子
Good news, gentlemen! I found another rope.
我们可以玩跳双绳大家双赢多好
If we double-dutch, everyone wins.