四个婚礼和一个葬礼

Four Weddings and a Funeral S01E05

Part 5 Oct. 16, 2019, 9:22 p.m.

Open wide.
我的天《恋爱小屋》
Oh, my God, Love Chalet.
克雷格怎么想我希望他没有太绝望
What did Craig think? I hope he isn't devastated.
我不想谈克雷格
I don't want to talk about Craig.
你是安斯丽·霍华德吗
Are you Ainsley Howard?
对哥们你是哪位
Yeah, dude. Who are you?
我是哈珀·迪伦的前夫
I'm Harper Dylan's ex-husband,
我不会为她刚买♥♥的家具买♥♥单
and I ain't paying for any of that shit she just bought.
你说什么
Excuse me?
她给你写了一张三十万镑的支票
She wrote you a check for 300,000 pounds.
你兑现的话
You cash it,
你就是金融犯罪的从犯
and you're an accomplice in a financial crime.
等等什么
Wait, what?
我的律师可以随时回答你的任何问题
My lawyer will be available to answer any questions.
我可不怕你
Hey, I'm not afraid of you.
我想什么时候兑现支票就什么时候兑现
I will cash whatever damn check I please.
你这样的男人以为自己能坑惨女人后
Men like you think they can screw over women
还全身而退
and just get away with it.
"我这样的男人" 你什么意思
"Men like me." Hmm, what do you mean?
哈珀都跟我说了
Harper told me all about you.
你就是烧光她鞋子的变♥态♥
You're the psychopath who burned all of her shoes.
没错因为她跟我弟弟上♥床♥了
Yeah, because she slept with my brother.
这点她没告诉你吧
Don't suppose she told you that part?
不她...好像说过
No, she said that, I think.
事后我的确非常生气
And afterwards, I was, yeah, really mad.
所有人都劝我"别反应过度修补你的婚姻"
Everybody said, "Don't overreact. Work on your marriage."
然后我被她
And then I tripped on
其中一只红底高跟鞋绊倒了
one of those little redottomed pieces of shit,
我才意识到我愤怒至极
and I realized I was mad.
我有权感到愤怒
I was allowed to be mad,
唯一能让我好过些的
and the only thing that was gonna help me feel better
就是把她的红底鞋烧个精光
was to burn those shoes into a plastic sludge.
但那么做并没让你好过些
But it didn't make you feel any better.
才不是那简直大快人心
Like hell. Made me feel great.
直到昨天我收到
That is, right up until yesterday,
银行发来的大额消费警告短♥信♥
when I got a highctivity alert from my bank.
我很抱歉
Well, I'm sorry.
那真的...很糟糕
That is... awful.
但这是生意
But this is business.
那女人从我手里夺走了很多
That woman took a lot from me.
拜托别兑现那张支票
Please, don't cash that check.
先生们过吧
Come on, now, gents.
妈妈周六学校要办留宿活动
Mummy, there's a sleepover at school Saturday,
塞巴斯蒂安要参加所以我也想参加
and Sebastian's doing it, so I want to do it.
抱歉慢点塞巴斯蒂安是谁
Sorry, wait. Who's Sebastian?
他是我的好朋友
He's my mate.
他一开始是我的敌人
Well, he was my enemy at first,
但之后他被一颗手球砸到头
but then a handball hit him in the head,
我送他去医务室现在我们成了好朋友
and I walked him to the nurse, and now he's my mate.
-我能参加吗 -留宿活动吗
- So, can I go? - A sleepover?
我不确定
Mmmm. I don't know.
珍玛你好
Gemma, hi.
吉尔斯在跟你说周末的活动吗
Giles telling you about this weekend?
对我现在才知道
Yes, I'm just hearing about it now.
剧透警告她不同意
Spoiler alert, it's a no.
你确定吗孩子们可喜欢了
Uhh. Are you sure? The boys love it.
他们会睡在操场上我们有一台巨大的望远镜
They sleep on the field. We have a giant telescope.
Peath是英国国教学校不是天主教的
And Peath is Anglican, not Catholic,
如果你是担心...
you know, if you're worried about...
那方面的事
you know.
我不是不过谢谢你
Well, I wasn't, but thank you.
那好吧
Well, all right.
但我不在你身边你真的没问题吗
But you're sure you'll be okay without me?
她同意了
She said yes!
你还好吗
So how are you?
挺好的
Oh, quite well.
只要吉尔斯开心我就开心
As long as Giles is good, I'm good.
天知道我也很需要独处一个周末
And Lord knows I could use a weekend to myself.
你们好欢迎收看《恋爱小屋》
Hello, and welcome to Love Chalet.
上周扎拉向盖瑞特倾诉衷肠
Last week, Zara poured her heart out to Garrett
说了她秘密一堆又不可靠的前男友克雷格
about her secretive, untrustworthy exboyfriend, Craig.
你漏了"背后捅刀的混♥蛋♥"
You forgot "Backstabbing asshole."
有人跟克雷格一起看吗
Is, uh, anyone watching with Craig?
我不知道我们几天没联♥系♥过了
I don't know. We haven't spoken in a couple days.
他八成正跟他最要好的朋友卡什一起看呢
He's probably watching with his best friend, Kash.
可是扎拉会选盖瑞特
But will Zara pick Garrett
住进她的幻想套房♥吗
to join her in the Fantasy Suite?
还是会选这周新加入的选手利亚姆
Or will it be this week's newcomer, Liam?
这次我真的不羡慕你了
I really don't envy you on this one,
扎拉因为这回会比之前难选得多
because, Zara, it's gonna get a whole lot tougher.
什么
What?
扎拉
Zara!
克雷格你怎么会在这
Craig, what are you doing here?
不会吧
Oh, no.
老天是克雷格还穿着紧身泳裤
Oh, my God, it's Craig in a Speedo!
我靠
Oh, sh?
制♥作♥人被他的真诚打动
Following a heartfelt appeal,
扎拉前男友投资银行家
于是决定给扎拉的前任克雷格
the producers have allowed Zara's ex, Craig,
最后一次机会为自己辩护
one last chance to plead his case.
你不是吧克雷格
Oh, no. Come on, Craig.
扎拉你说我太多秘密不愿对你吐露
Zara, you said that I was too private and secretive,
你说得没错
and you were right.
所以我来了当着全世界的面
So here I am, in front of the entire world,
我要告诉你我所有的秘密
I'm gonna tell you all my secrets.
-别啊 -千万别
- No. - Oh, no.
-不不不 -不要啊
- No, no, no.- Oh, no.
-克雷格没那必要 -不这是唯一的办法
- Craig, that's not necessary. - No, it is the only way.
我身高没有178
I'm not 5'10".
只有173
I'm 5'8".
看得出来
Oh. He looks it.
我的翘臀是注射硅胶隆的
I get silicone butt injections.
什么
What?
我在网上卖♥♥
I sell Magic: The Gathering cards
《魔法:集♥会♥》游戏的卡
online under the pseudonym
用的化名是"飞行男巫...69"
"CraigtheFlyWizard... 69."
白♥痴♥
Idiot.
宅到爆
That's so dorky!
但我最大的秘密是
But my biggest secret...
从见到你的第一眼我就知道
is that I knew from the first moment that I saw you...
我陷入爱河了
I was in love.
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?
不
No.
我的答案是不
My answer's no.
我不能嫁给你克雷格
I can't marry you, Craig.
不
No.
克雷格
Craig?
快开门哥们我很担心你
Open up, pal. I'm worried about you.
你走吧达菲我没事
Go away, Duffy. I'm fine.
好吧
Okay, yeah.
不过我上来时从送餐员手里
Well, I intercepted your pizza guy
拦截了你的披萨所以如果你不让我进去
on the way up here, so if you don't let me in,
我就把你的...
I guess I'm just gonna eat your whole...
无麸质无芝士披萨全吃光
glutenfree pizza with no cheese.
天呐
Jesus Christ.
好吧
Fine.
你看起来"容光焕发"
You look great.
没有她我不知道该如何是好
I don't know what I'm gonna do without her.
哥们我不会放任你坐在这自哀自怜
Look, dude, I'm not gonna let you sit here and wallow, okay?
今晚我们要出去疯狂一把
Tonight we are going out and getting crazy.
你说出去是指带我去
"Out" like when you take me