父亲委员会

Council of Dads S01E04

Part 5 July 4, 2020, 1:47 p.m.

Okay.
在妻子去世一两个月后
There's my dad, his wife gone a month, maybe two,
我爸在女性用品区毫无头绪
in the feminine hygiene aisle, completely out of his depth,
这时伊芙琳出现了
and along comes Evelyn.
也许他要是先在车里
Well, maybe if he'd kissed a few women
亲上几个女人慢慢来的话
in the front seat of his car first, taken his time,
他会发现伊芙琳是个讨人厌的自恋狂
he would've realized Evelyn is a narcissistic bore,
她确实是而你在哭
which she is, and you are crying.
天啊我把你弄哭了
Oh, my God, I made you cry.
不你只是让我想起了斯科特
No, you just made me think of Scott.
他临死时一直在想有什么事要交代给我
When he was dying, he kept thinking of things to tell me,
有时候是一些人生大事
and sometimes it was really big life stuff.
但这次他只说
But this one time it was just,
"姑娘们喜欢用紫色盒子的棉条"
"The girls prefer the tampons in the purple box."
-给你 -谢谢
- Here you go. - Thanks.
真抱歉
I'm really sorry.
我让你大老远跑来
I dragged you all the way out here,
但我没法亲你亨利
and I don't think I can kiss you, Henry.
要是每次女人给我说这句话
If I had a nickel for every time
我都能得到点钱就好了
a woman said that to me.
我能拉着你的手吗
Can I hold your hand?
不是暧昧的牵手只是
Not in a sexual way, but in a
"两个不熟的人坐在车里
"Two people in a car who barely know one another
可一个人在思念丈夫
but one of them misses her husband
另一个要去迈阿密了很紧张"的那种握手
and the other's nervous about going to Miami" Kind of way?
好啊我们试试吧
Yeah, let's--let's try that.
给我讲讲你怎么和你丈夫遇到的
Tell me how you met your husband.
我们来墓地干什么
Why are we in a cemetery?
-给你介绍埃洛伊丝 -埃洛伊丝是谁
- To introduce you to Eloise. - Who's Eloise?
这就是埃洛伊丝
This is Eloise.
她一百年前就去世了
She died, like, 100 years ago,
她父母建了这个雕塑或是墓碑的玩意
and her parents built this statue or tomb or whatever,
我们喜欢来跟她说话
and we like to come talk to her.
说什么
About what?
我们的父母
Our parents.
我爸在我两岁的时候就去世了
My dad died when I was two.
我妈是三年前去世的
My mom died three years ago.
我们的爸爸今年去世了
Our dad died this year.
要不然我们为什么带你们来呢
Why do you think we brought you here?
我们想邀请你加入我们的社团
We want to invite you to join our club,
家长去世协会
the Dead Parents Society.
你们伤心的时候
If you're ever feeling bad,
就可以来和她倾诉
you guys can come talk to her too.
为什么不去你妈妈的墓地倾诉
Why don't you go to your mom's grave or whatever?
我想我更喜欢和人说话
I guess I just prefer to talk to a person.
埃洛伊丝就像是个人
Eloise is kind of like a person.
如果你想倾诉的话
And we're kind of like people too,
我们也是人
if you ever want to talk.
先拼边上的真聪明
Going for the edge pieces, smart.
这没什么聪明的拼图本来就该这么拼
It's not really smart. It's just how you do a puzzle.
去年我错过了两场派对
I missed two parties last year when I became a boy,
都是因为他们的父母崩溃了
both because the parents freaked out.
这是第三个了
This is my third.
真希望父母们能振作点
I wish parents would just get their act together.
你干了什么让她这么讨厌你
What did you do to make her hate you so much?
-你知道我原来喝酒对吗 -知道
- You know I used to drink alcohol, right? - Yeah.
有时候喝酒...
Well, sometimes drinking...
会让你胡言乱语以及...
makes you say stupid things or...
做出不友好的举动
act in ways that aren't nice.
所以你以前总是欺负别人吗
So you used to be a bully?
是的
Yeah.
我总是欺负别人
I was a bully.
很抱歉你没被邀请参加艾薇的派对
I'm sorry you didn't get invited to Ivy's party.
我很抱歉你也没被邀请参加艾薇的派对
I'm sorry you didn't get invited too.
边上的拼图就在那里呢
You know you got an edge piece staring right at you.
妈妈去哪儿了
Hey, where's Mom?
出去了学校的事
Out. School thing.
霍普怎么还醒着
Why is Hope still up?
每次我让她躺下她就会哭
Every time I put her down, she cries.
她在逗你玩呢
She's just messing with you.
她会哭个十秒钟
She cries for, like,
看看你会不会理她然后就不哭了
ten seconds to see if you buy it, and then she stops.
你在逗他玩吗霍普
You messing with him, Hope?
谢谢
Wow, thanks.
你还真得佩服霍普的小机灵
You got to admire Hope's gumption.
我说的对吗
Am I right?
卢
Lu...
今天的事抱歉了
I am sorry about today.
你们不想给我们钱没关系
You guys don't want to give us the money, fine.
直说就好
Just say that.
但你们相当于直接叫我们傻子
But you guys basically called us idiots.
我们不是傻子
We're not idiots.
那就别犯傻了
Well, then stop acting like idiots.
你们把所有的钱都花在了
You spent all your money
一间根本没亲眼见过的房♥子上
on a house sight unseen,
除了让我们资助你你们没有任何计划
and you have no plan except for us to bail you out?
-我们有 -那就做起来
- Yes, we do. - Then do it.
证明我错了证明我们都错了
Prove me wrong. Prove us all wrong.
你觉得我们不该让拉里取消那笔交易
So you don't think we should let Larry cancel the deal.
不我觉得你不应该关心我怎么想
No, I don't think you should care what I think.
想要这笔钱的是你们自己
You're the one who has to want it.
天哪你这口气和我爸一样
God, you sound like my dad.
皮特把一切责任都推到我身上是不是很轻松
It just feels easy, Peter, to blame me for everything.
享受按♥摩♥的时候就别吵了行吗
Can we not fight right now and just enjoy the massage?
我没在享受我很紧张
I'm not enjoying it. I'm tense,
而且我感觉你也该为自己的快乐
and I think you need to take some responsibility
负起一些责任了
for your own happiness.
我知道我确实这么做了
I know, and I do.
我只是不喜欢自己的工作
I just--I don't love my job,
感觉苔丝也不再需要我了
and I feel like Tess doesn't need me anymore,
我很想你也怀念我们的曾经
and I miss you. I miss us.
奥利我不想离婚
Ollie, I don't want to get a divorce.
离婚谁说要...
A divorce? Who said anything--
这种故事经常发生奥利
It happens, Ollie.
情侣会分道扬镳
Couples drift apart.
-奥利弗你怎么能这样 -我怎么了
- Oliver, how could you? - How could I what?
想明白了吗根本不是我
That wasn't me. See?
你总是把事情都怪到我头上
You blame me for everything.
我们能不能离开这里
Can we please just get out of here?
真有意思
It's funny.
我本来很担心
I was so worried that
吻别人会有出轨的感觉
kissing someone would feel like cheating.
但提到了斯科特
This was so much more intimate--
跟他接吻更亲密
talking about Scott.
有出轨的感觉吗
Did it feel like cheating?
没有
No.
没有感觉像是成就
No, it felt like progress.
所以我才来这里
That's what I'm here for.
你真是好人亨利
You're a really good guy, Henry.
你在迈阿密一定会大获成功的
You're gonna kill it in Miami.
谢谢你
Thank you.
如果你还愿意我能吻你吗
Hey, if you're still game, can I kiss you?
不是暧昧的那种吻
Not in a sexual way.
而是 "我希望把丈夫去世后的第一个吻
In a, "I want the first kiss after my husband
献给一个好人"
to be with a good guy,"
顺便说一句你是好人
and you're a good guy, by the way.
当然
Sure.
弗雷亚刚刚给我的照片墙点了赞
Hey, Freya just liked one of my Instagram posts.
那是什么意思你需要安全词吗
Oh, no, what does that mean? Do you need a safe word?
"海绵宝宝"怎么样
What about "SpongeBob SquarePants"?
闭嘴