Previously on "californication"...
加州迷情 前情回顾
I'm having what you might call a crisis of faith.
你可能会把这叫做信仰危机
To put it simply, I can't write.
但简单的说 我已江郎才尽
You have this incredible talent,
你那么有天赋
And you're just flushing it down the toilet.
却把它白白浪费掉
Maybe you're right. I'm fucked up right now.
也许你是对的 我现在完全晕菜了
I need you. no, I'm getting married.
我要你 不 我快结婚了
Is dad a bad person?
爸爸是坏人吗?
No. not at all.
不 当然不是
I mean, he does have a habit
虽说无事生非
of getting into trouble sometimes.
是他的拿手好戏
Fuckin' fucker!
去你♥妈♥的♥!
Ooh! get on with your life.
回去搞你老婆
And forget about the woman you didn't want to marry.
放过那个你不想与之结婚的女人吧
As your friend and agent,
作为你的朋友和经纪人
May I suggest you start looking for a nice girl.
我建议你去找个好女孩儿
What is your name, by the way?
对了 你叫什么名字?
Wouldn't you rather just fuck me?
为什么我们不床上见分晓呢?
I'm a scientologist, hank.
汉克 我信教
So, you're the famous writer, huh?
你就是那个名作家是吧?
This is mia, bill's daughter.
这是米亚 比尔的女儿
She's 16.
她才16岁
What happened the other night will never happen again.
再也不会发生昨晚那样的事了
I know you guys aren't gonna live happily ever after.
我知道 你们的关系已经出现裂隙
It's just nice to be together sometimes.
但时不时的聚聚也不错啊
I want to go back and do it all over again.
我希望一切能从头来过
I'm gonna marry bill.
我要嫁给比尔了
I wrote something. you what?
我写了点东西 你说什么?
Hank wrote a new book? can I read it?
汉克写了新书? 我能看下吗?
I don't think that's appropriate.
我看还是不要
What did you write?
你写了什么?
An older man unwittingly
一个老人在不知情的情况下
beds an underage girl.
上了一未成年女孩儿
I wrote this novel.
这部小说是我写的
This young woman's written the book of the year.
年度畅销书 出自这位年轻的女孩儿
is that right?
是吗?
If I say anything, there's no stopping her from telling karen
如果我说什么 她一定会告诉凯伦
Fuck, the police.
妈的 警♥察♥来了
If anyone knows of a reason
如果有人有这对夫妇
why this couple should not wed,
不该结婚的理由
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
请立刻说出 否则请永远闭嘴
What?
看我♥干♥什么?
Wait! hank!
汉克 等等!
You sure? Quick, before I change my fuckin' mind.
你确定? 快开 在我改变主意之前
Karen, wait! come back!
凯伦 等等 回来!
Are you ready?
准备好了吗?
Fuck, no.
妈的 还没
You are gonna be so glad you did this.
你应该为自己的表现自豪
I don't want to talk about it right now.
我现在不想谈这个
I've got a godlike erection. seems a shame to waste it.
反正这么硬着不用也是浪费
We got to get going.
我们得出发了
Really?
真的吗
You'd deny a dying man his final meal?
连濒死之人的最后餐你也不给?
Oh, my god.
算了吧
You're gonna milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?
你还真是物尽其用 对吧?
Absolutely.
当然了
Don't make me beg. it's unseemly.
别让我求你了 太丢脸了
Fine. you better make it snappy.
好吧 你最好快点
Oh, you won't feel a thing. I promise.
我保证 保证快如闪电
Oh, what are you doing?
你在干什么?
Just assuming the "posish."
试试体♥位♥啊
Oh. oh, hot diggety.
我的性感女神
What are you doing?
你又在做什么?
I'm assuming my posish.
摆好炮位
Get a rubber.
去拿避孕套
One more time. come on, what's the big deal?
快去吧 不差这一分钟
That's my point exactly.
我可是分秒必争的
I'll pull out and hose you down.
试试我的消防水管吧
Oh, is that supposed to turn me on?
会让我高♥潮♥吗?
Uh, maybe.
也许
Did it?
你有过吗?
Not so much.
好像有那么几次
You better start talking dirty.
等不及就骂吧
This could take a while. ugh!
我可能还要一会儿
What do you want me to say?
你想让我说什么?
Uh, right before you come...
在你高♥潮♥之前...
...call me bill.
叫我比尔
Who says I'm gonna come?
谁说我会高♥潮♥了?
Ooh, a challenge.
很有挑战性哇
Game on.
游戏开始
Get ready for thor's hammer.
准备迎接雷神之锤吧
You want to see it?
想看看吗?
See what?
看什么?
The section of the vas def I just cut out.
我刚割出的输精管
Oh, vas definitely not.
还是不要了
If it feels like I'm sewing the flesh
如果感觉到我正缝合
At the base of your penis back together,
你阴♥茎♥下部的肌肉
That's because I am.
那就是了
Why do you look like a welder?
为什么你看起来像个焊工
You're not welding anything, are you?
别告诉我你在下面焊东西
So, why the vasectomy?
为什么做输精管切除术?
I hate the rubbers.
我不喜欢戴套
Yeah, me too.
我也是
Can't feel a damn thing.
都没感觉了
Try not to give the guy a hard-on, okay?
可别让这个家伙兴奋起来
That would be messy.
那样比较麻烦
Looks like there's a new pope.
看来我得学会适应新的生活
Pain and swelling... totally normal.
疼痛和肿胀都是正常的
A bag of frozen peas should do the trick.
一袋冻豌豆也许能帮上点忙
Some prefer edamame. it's totally up to you.
但也有人喜欢用毛豆 要看你喜欢哪样
No sex for 48 hours, and that includes masturbation.
两日内不要行房♥ 手♥淫♥也不行
After that, the more the better.
稍后就会好点
Seriously. you still got a lot of valuable sperm up in there.
当然 你的"仓库"里还有点"存货"
Got to get it out somehow.
回去想办法弄出来
If you need any help, let me know.
需要帮助的话 记得找我
Great-looking cock.
小♥弟♥弟♥很漂亮
Thank you.
非常感谢
Don't think I don't see what's happening here.
别以为我没看到这里发生什么
Oh, what's that?
那是什么?
You're not attracted to me anymore.
你对我已经不再有吸引力了
That's right, that's right.
对 很正确
I ran away with you on my wedding night
我为了你在婚礼上抛弃了新郎
Because you just don't do it for me anymore.
你有本事也来做做看
Yes. see, on a purely chemical level,
是啊 起码从化学层面来说
You realize that I can't impregnate you anymore.
你知道我不会再让你怀孕了
The biological imperative has been compromised.
这是我们为减少世界人口做出的贡献
You should consider yourself lucky
你该庆幸
That we're even having sex.
我们还有性生活
Oh, I do. I do. and it's been rad.
是啊 而且很刺♥激♥
You know, I forgot what a little hellcat you can be.
我怎么会忘了你是个什么样的小野猫
No, no, no, no. please, don't do that.
别 别 别那么做
Aw, no, that was gross. seriously.
真的 太恶心了
Man should not meow... ever.
男人不应该学猫叫
We're doing what couples do, hank.
汉克 我们做的事夫妻都会做
We're making responsible, grownup decisions...
我们一起做出负责任的
Together.
成熟的决定
Why are you smiling like that?
为什么要那么笑?
How am I smiling?
我怎么笑了?
Like a retard.
有点傻气
It was just nice to hear you refer to us as a couple again.
真高兴又听到你说我们是夫妻
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