Okay, Big Guy -- You And Me.
嘿 大个儿 只有我们俩了
We've Never Done This Before,
我们从来没有这样做过
But, Uh...Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures.
但是特殊时期特殊策略
My Name Is Hank.
我的名字叫Hank
Hello, Hank.
你好 Hank
Oh, I'm Sorry, Sister.
哦 不好意思 修女
I Was Just Trying To Have A Little Chat
我只是想和你丈夫
With Your Husband Up There.
小谈一会
No, I Wouldn't Want To
不 人不要你去
Bother A Real, Live Person About It.
打扰一个真正的活生生的人
It Wouldn't Be A Bother, Hank.
不会打扰到我的 Hank
In Fact, That's Why I'm Here.
事实上这也是为什么我在这里
Well... Here's The Thing.
好吧 是这样的
I'm Having What You Might Call A Crisis Of Faith.
我现在遭遇了所谓的人生危机
Put It Simply, I Can't Write, Which Really Kind Of Sucks
简单来说就是我写不出东西了 这样很糟糕
Because I'm Supposed To Be A Writer,
因为我是个作家
And A Professional One At That,
还得是个职业作家
And I Can't Seem To Be Able To Produce
连个该死的断句都写不出来
So Much As A Goddamn Predicate.
不好意思 我在此道歉
Sorry. You Know, My Apologies.
我简直妈的糟糕透了...
I Fucked Up -- Again, I Apologize.
又说错了 我道歉
Well, Normally I Would Suggest A Bunch Of "Our Father"S
正常情况下我会建议你
Or A Couple "Hail Mary"S,
读几小时圣父传或者玫瑰经
But I Don't Think That's Gonna Get It Done.
但是我不觉得这样对你有用
What About A Blowjob?
找人给人吹个萧 咋样?
Hmm?
什么?
A Blowjob. Would That Make You Feel Any Better?
帮你吹♥箫♥ 会不会有点帮助?
A Blowjob From You?
你帮我吹♥箫♥?
Well, Something Tells Me
但我觉得就算吹都
It's Not Gonna Suck Itself, Hank.
吹不走你的问题 Hank
No, But -- But You're A Nun.
不会...当然不会...
A Totally Fucking Hot Nun.
这么性感的修女...
Sweet Baby Jesus...
可爱的耶酥宝贝
Hank Is Going To Hell.
Hank肯定要入地狱了
Bad Dream?
做恶梦了?
Uh...Yeah.
是啊
No -- I Mean...
不 不
It's Hard To Say, Really.
也很难说
Well, You Drifted Off, And I Thought To Myself,
你睡着以后我就在想
"Self, What's The Nicest Possible Way
什么是唤醒Hank先生
I Can Wake Up Mr. Hank Here?"
的最好办法呢?
Stumbled Upon One Of The Nicer Ways.
突然发现了一个更好的方法
Well, You're Nice To Me, I'm Nice To You.
你对我好 我也对你好
Yes, It's Very Quid Pro Quo.
还真是迅速 专业加认真
What Does That Mean?
什么意思?
Never Mind.
没什么
My Husband, Um, Never, Never Gave Me An Orgasm.
我老公...从来没有让我高♥潮♥过...
Never? Ever.
从来没有? 从来没有
Does He, Uh, You Know,
他有没有进"市中心"
Go Downtown, Tour The Southland?
跟那儿好好"转转"?
Never. Go Under The Hood?
从来都没有 深入草丛?
Well, That's Not True. Yes, He Has.
有过
But He Made Me Take A Shower First.
但是他要让我先洗澡
Oh.
噢
And Then He Spent 45 Minutes Trying To Find My Clit.
然后他用了45分钟 来找我的阴蒂
How Did He Do?
他咋整的?
I'm Pretty Sure He Thinks It's On The Bottom.
我肯定他以为是在最后面
Near The Vaganus?
在菊花那里?
That's Weird.
真够怪的...
Well... I Can Take A Hint.
我可以来试试
I Just So Happen To Have My Gps With Me.
真高兴我带了全球定位系统
I've Stored It Up My Ass.
我把它安装在屁♥股♥里了 真的
Hello.
你好
Wow, Yours Is On The Bottom.
哇 你的确实是在最下面
I Seem To Have Found Something.
我好像发现什么了
Hey, What The Fuck Was That?
怎么了?
That Would Be My Husband.
应该是我老公
Oh, Okay. Well, Maybe I Should Hide Under Your Clit.
好吧 也许我该藏在你的阴蒂里
He'll Never Find Me There.
那他永远找不到我了
Man: Heather!
(谁在里面!)
I, Uh -- I Think I Should Go.
我觉得我应该走了
All I Need To Do Is, Uh, Find My Pants.
我要做的就是找到裤子
There's No Pants Anywhere?
找不到...
Man: What The Fuck?!
不是你想象的那样..
It's Not What You Think.
妈的咋回事...他在哪?
Motherfucker!
龟儿子
Yeah, You!
就是你
Oh, You Got To Be Kidding Me!
不是在开玩笑吧!
What, Are You, Like, 60 Or Something, Bro?!
你多老了? 60岁了吧 老兄?
K-Fed, The Little Man In The Boat -- He's Up Here.
船上的小人儿(阴蒂)... 在上面呢 是啊 小孩
That's Where He Is -- Right Here.
就在这里
Just Let Him Go.
让他走吧
You Guys Work It Out.
你们俩解决吧
Man: You're Dead! You're Dead, Man!
你死定了...你死定了...
What The Fuck?!
搞什么飞机?
Son Of A Bitch!
操!
What Are You Doing?!
你在干吗!
What Do You Think?
你觉得怎么样?
Dad?
爸爸
Yes?
什么事?
Are You Mentally Insane?
你脑子有问题吗?
Yes. But I'm Extremely High-Functioning.
是的 但是我现在好的不得了
He's Much Like A Special-Needs Person
他更像是个有特殊需要
I'm Late, And I'm Sorry, And I'm Not Wearing Any Pants,
我迟到 很对不起 而且也没有穿裤子
But I Would Like To Invite You Two Ladies To Join Me.
但是我想请2位女士和我一起
Take Your Pants Off
脱掉裤子
And Come With Me To The Pants-Off Restaurant.
去脱裤子餐厅吃饭
Sounds Tempting.
听起来很有吸引力
But I've Got Plans, Okay?
但是我有约了
Yeah.
那好
Come On, Mom.
一起来吧 妈妈
Peanut, I Can't.
亲爱的 我去不了
But, You Know... Enjoy Your Daddy Time.
但是...
Where's My Kiss?
给我的吻呢?
You're A Really Classy Guy, Hank.
你真是个不正经的男人 Hank
Oh, That's Funny, Coming From You And All.
从你口中说出来还真搞笑
So... Who Won That Round?
那 这个回合谁赢了?
Oh, It's Not Whether You Win Or Lose.
哦 那可不是个
It's How You Play The Game.
论输赢的游戏
Looks Like A Fun Game.
看起来是个有趣的游戏
Do You Think I Made Her Laugh?
你觉得我让她笑了吗?
Sure.
当然
A Little.
有一点
On The Inside.
内心里吧
"Yellow Submarine"?
你要看什么电影吗?
"Pirates."
海盗
Again?
又是海盗?
Johnny Depp Is Hot.
强尼-代普很性感啊
I Concur, But Wouldn't You Rather
我是觉得没有什么问题
Expand Your Cinematic Horizons And Pick A Film
想不想开阔一下你的电影眼界
That's Based On A Piece Of Literature
挑一个基于文学作品改编电影
And Not A Theme-Park Ride?
而别看什么基于主题公园的电影?
"Pirates" It Is. Why Don't You Try My Room?
那就是海盗吧 去我房♥里找找吧
Yeah.
好
Hey, Honey, I Don't Think I Have Any Sushi Takeout.
宝贝 我没有寿司的外卖♥♥电♥话♥
I've Got The House Of Chow, Which Is Chinese.
只有一个叫乔的中国餐厅
Father?
爸爸
Daughter?
女儿
Can I Ask You Something?
我能问你一件事情吗?
Anything, My Love.
任何事情 宝贝
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