Previously on Californication...
前情提要...
If you were gonna have sex with someone
你要想和什么人做♥爱♥
and you knew that it would be the absolute last time,
心里清楚一定是最后一次了
what do you think it would be like?
你会什么感觉?
Incredibly sad.
伤感得要命
Make me sad.
让我伤感吧
Who the fuck are you?
你♥他♥妈♥是哪根葱?
Stu Baggs,nice to meet you.
Stu Baggs 很高兴认识你
I met the wife. Soon,to be ex. Splitsville.
我见过你老婆了 马上就是前老婆了 正闹离婚呢
So you wouldn't mind if I took a crack at her?
那你不介意我上她咯?
You know how many women I slept with?
你知道我睡过几个女人吗?
Unh-uh I gotta get it up to a 100.
呃 我怎么也得睡到100个
Triple digits. Then I can die happy.
到三位数 我就含笑九泉了
I'm pregnant. I'm gonna be a father!
我怀孕了 我要做爸爸了!
I'm carrying Charlie's baby.
我有Charlie的孩子了
What? What the fuck?
什么? 搞什么飞机?
You know what I think,Dad? I think it's all gonna be okay. Chapters end.
知道我怎么想么老爸? 我觉得一切 都会好起来的 一切都结束了
Sometimes you gotta shake things up.
你要摆脱过去 振作起来
Check out of this dump. Go home.
爬出这堆垃圾 回家吧
Amazing.
大美女
A goddess.
女神
A gift from on high.
天使下凡
You deserve the white dress and a happy ending.
你应该穿上白色婚纱 从此过着幸福的生活
Are we gonna take this thing to the next level or what?
我们是进行到下个阶段还是怎样?
Uh? What?
啊? 怎样?
We are coming up on the Internet.
我们一开始是网上认识的
Really? Time certainly doth fly.
是吗? 时光真是飞逝啊
We kept it pretty cas.
我们交往得一直很随性
I've been pretty careful about making sure
我很注意自己
I don't make any demands on your time. I Don't want to be that girl.
不要对你有所要求 我不想作那种女人
Oh you've been a great "not-that-girl".
哦 你真的"不是那种女人"
I just want to know what you see us becoming... eventually.
我只想知道你觉得我们最终... 能走到哪里
I see us becoming incredibly close.
我觉得我们最终会非常非常亲密
Great friends... eventually.
会变成很好的朋友...最终
After the part where you hate my guts for a long,cold winter.
之前你会一整个冬天都恨我入骨
It's not that I'm not fond of you. I am. Inordinately so.
这不是因为我不喜欢你 绝对不是
It's just that I enjoy the casual nature of things. I'm a casual guy.
只是我喜欢事情随性点 我是个随性的人
You know,I have to be because I'm damaged,broken,really.
我必须随性 因为我受过伤 心都碎成一片片的了 真的
You know,old dog,new tricks.
就那老一套
But you you're amazing. A goddess. A gift from on high.
可你是大美女 是女神 是天使下凡
You deserve the white dress and the happy ending. I'm just not the guy to give it to you.
你应该穿上白色婚纱 从此过上 幸福的生活 我给不了你那些
I see you're mad. I can tell.
你生气了 我看出来了
I'm not mad. You're not? Oh,I'm glad.
我没生气 没有吗? 哦 那敢情好
It's just you fucked me in the ass,Hank.
只是你爆过我的菊花 Hank
Oh,are we speaking metaphorically? Because ...
哦 你这是比喻的说法吗? 因为...
No,I gave up the butt for you.
不是 我把屁♥眼♥都献给你了
Do you think I would have let you sodomize me
你觉得我要是觉得我们没有未来
if I didn't think there was a future here?
会让你爆我的菊花吗?
You did say that you liked it more than you thought you would.
可你说了你没想到会这么喜欢
Well that's not the point. That's not the point.
那不是重点 那不是重点
This man's a monster.
这男人是个禽兽
He likes to fuck women in the ass
他喜欢爆女人菊花
and then tell them that he just wants to keep it casual.
然后跟女人说我只想随性点
Who callin' my phone?
谁打我电♥话♥?
It's yo agent.
你的经纪人
Calling from the coast with the prospect of a significant payday.
在伟大的发薪日的海边给你打电♥话♥
I'll take it.
收了
Don't you wanna know what it is?
你就不想知道哪来的钱吗?
No. Can you book me out on the nextest flight
不想 你能给我订最早的一班飞机
to this coast of which you speak?
去你说的那个海边吗?
Oh-oh. What happened? What did you do?
哦 怎么了? 你又干嘛了?
I've got kind of a bunny boiler situation happening.
有分手的女人找上门了
She's got a key to my place.
她有我房♥子的钥匙
I may need to crash on the villa for a few days. Is that cool?
可能得去你那避几天风头 没问题吧?
Hey,mi casa,amigo. I'll even pick you up at the airport.
嘿 来吧 朋友 我去机场接你
Thanks,Runks. Much appresh.
谢了 Runks 多谢
I'm looking forward to it buddy. I've missed yo' black ass.
等着见你呢朋友 想你那臭德性了
Later,masturbator.
回见了 自摸犯
Oh shit. Did I just do what I think I just did?
哦 靠 我不是吧?
Yes. You did. I am so truly madly deeply sorry.
你是 我真是太深深地对不起了
I know and that doesn't change the fact that I now have a puddle in my lap.
我知道 但改变不了我腿上 有一摊粘粘的液体的事实
One could argue that it's not entirely my fault
我可以说这不全是我的错
that you force grown men to make huge puddles in your lap.
是你让一个成年男性在你大腿上 弄出一摊粘粘的液体的
I'm not laughing. Sure you are.
我没觉得好笑 当然好笑了
Little bit? On the inside,maybe?
好歹一点吧? 内心有一点?
Okay I have it,thanks. Man,what are the odds?
行了我来吧 谢谢 老天 这几率也太小了吧?
Of what?
什么几率?
Usually,I get on the plane
一般我坐飞机的时候
and I'm seated next to John Candy or Ruth Gordon,if I'm lucky.
总希望旁边坐的是John Candy或是 Ruth Gordon(两人都是著名演员)
But I end up next to the most beautiful woman in the tri-state area,
结果坐的是三大州最漂亮的女人
and I go and spill a drink in her lap.
我还在她腿上倒了一瓶饮料
Nice work,huh? Stupid,stupid,stupid.
真不赖哈? 笨蛋 笨蛋 笨蛋
The tri-state area?
三大州?
You're world class,you're runway caliber.
你是世界级的漂亮 模特的那种
You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.
你漂亮得都有点难看了
I just didn't want it to go into your head. Hank.
我只是不想让你觉得我奇怪 Hank
2A. That's me,sorry.
2A 是我的位子 不好意思
Well you better be,pal.
最好是你不好意思 朋友
Oh God. I'm sorry. No no no,hold on...
哦天哪 是我不好意思 不 不 不 等等...
hold on a second. Can't you just take her seat?
等等 你不能坐她的位子吗?
If the ticket says 2A,then 2A is where I'm parking my posterior.
票上写的是2A 那我的屁♥股♥就在2A
Real stickler for the rules,this guy.
这家伙还真是守规矩
That's how we keep the trains running on time. Choo choo.
这样飞机才能准时飞起来哦
Nice to meet you,Hank.
很高兴认识你 Hank
Bye,Miss never got your name. Excuse me.
拜 不知道名字的小姐 不好意思
Sorry.
对不起
I have got to get this under control. I'm almost too fat to fly.
我一定得控制下♥体♥重了 我快肥得不能上飞机了
Want some? No,I'm good.
来点吗? 不用了 谢谢
Sorry,sorry.
对不起 对不起
Go ahead before I shit myself. Excuse me?
坐过去吧 免得我内疚了 什么意思?
Go,go sit with your wife. She guilted me into swapping with you.
坐你老婆边上去吧 她搞得 我不跟你换就很内疚
Enjoy the fucking honeymoon.
过你们的见鬼蜜月吧
It's almost like the pursuit of this one woman,
追求这个女人
this one relationship became its own form of heroin.
追求这段关系几乎变成了一种毒瘾
I was strung out.
时间越拖越久
You know,I was driving her crazy making my kid miserable.
我把她逼疯了 孩子也过得很糟糕
When you finally give up and let go,good stuff starts to happen.
当你最后放弃的时候 生活就变好了
She's better now. My kid's fantastic.
她现在好多了 孩子过得也不错
I'm keeping it simple.
我尽力让一切变得简单
Such a sad sweet tale of woe.
真是段甜蜜又伤感的感情
I'm surprised you made it through the whole thing.
你居然听完了整个故事 我挺惊讶的
I thought I might try to hang yourself there at some point.
我还以为你会在某个点抓狂的
You know I actually did think about it,
我还真这么想过
but I figured,you know,that'd kind of rude
不过你都把心底的话讲出来了
since you were pouring your heart out and all.
我觉得抓狂会很粗鲁
I appreciate that. Yeah.
谢谢 没关系
But you know,this has been nice to actually have a conversation with someone
不过这样其实蛮好的 因为可以真正跟某个人好好说说话
who isn't trying to get in my pants.
而不用想其实他是想脱我的裤子
You mean my epic love story for the ages isn't pure panty-peeler?
你是说我多年的史诗般的爱情故事 还不能让你把裤子脱掉?
Okay. Excuse me,I'm gonna go to the little girls' room.
好了 我要去洗手间了
Well,if you don't want me to try to get in your pants don't talk dirty to me.
你要不想让我上 就不要引诱我
You know I really hope that no one comes in on me.
我真希望没人跟在我后面进来
Lock the door.
那就把门锁上
See,that's the thing.
看 这就是问题
I always forget.
我总忘记锁门
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
你以为自己在干嘛?
I'm sorry,I thought you... I'm just kidding.
对不起 我以为你... 逗你的
I thought you had to pee.
我以为你要小便
I already did.
小过了
I'm sorry I've missed that.
不好意思错过了
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