神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E09

Part 1 April 4, 2020, 8:19 p.m.

警监你找我
Sir, you wanted to see me?
对我有个任务给你
Yes, I have an assignment for you.
并且恐怕算不上是个好活
I'm afraid it's not a pleasant one.
天啊拜托千万别是
Oh, my God. Please tell me it's not...
没错跟Hitchcock有关
Yes, it's Hitchcock related.
王八蛋
Son of a bitch.
Hitchcock警探今天下午要在法庭上作证
Detective Hitchcock is set to testify in court this afternoon.
这个案子很重要
It's an important case,
并且我不想再接到地方检察官打来的电♥话♥
and I'd rather not get another call from the DA
说他出庭时"浑身都是调味品"了
saying he showed up "Covered in condiments."
所以你想让我在剩下的一整天里
So you want me to keep Hitchcock
防止Hitchcock倒自己一身
from spilling on himself for the rest of the day?
你我都知道那不可能
We both know that's impossible.
- 我就指望你了 - 我不干
- I'm counting on you. - I won't do it.
- 我没有别人可以信任 - 你提的要求简直是疯了
- There's nobody else I trust. - What you're asking is insane.
- 这不是请求 - 这是一项自杀性任务
- I'm not asking. - It's a suicide mission!
- 那就准备好牺牲 - 你已经失去理智了
- Then prepare for death. - You've lost your mind!
这是一道命令警探立刻就位
This is a direct order, Detective! Get in line!
喂你们把Hitchcock吓到了
Hey. You guys startled Hitchcock.
他把整整两罐意大利面酱撒到身上了
He spilled two full jars of spaghetti sauce on himself.
拜你们所赐伙计们
Thanks a lot, fellas.
神烦警探
第六季第九集
Ames 问你一个超级重要的问题
Ames, super important question.
我今晚应该穿哪件去
Which one of these shirts should I wear to dinner
跟你妈妈吃饭
with your mom tonight?
这两件一模一样好吗
Those are exactly the same.
这是我的标志性着装 Rosa
I have a signature look, Rosa.
你穿T恤去我也不在乎了
Put on a T-shirt for all I care.
你穿什么并不重要
It doesn't matter what you wear.
穿什么当然重要
Of course it matters.
他必须穿格子更小的那件
He has to wear the smaller checks.
大格子显得他很憔悴你怎么回事 Amy
Big checks wash him out. Where are you, Amy?
无所谓反正今晚已经被毁了
It doesn't matter, because the night is already ruined.
我的傻♥逼♥老妈还请了
My stupid mother invited
我那个傻♥逼♥哥哥David一起来
my stupid brother David to join us.
我以为你很喜欢你的哥哥们
I thought you liked your brothers.
我有七个哥哥 Rosa
I have seven brothers, Rosa,
我喜欢他们所有人除了David
and I like all of them except David.
完美的David
Perfect David.
David从警♥察♥学院毕业的时候是班上魁首
David graduated at the top of his class at the police academy.
David替市长挡了一枪
David took a bullet for the mayor.
David自己烤面包
David bakes his own bread.
喔 David有没有什么姐妹
Ooh, and does this David have a sister?
- 有啊 Amy就是他的妹妹 - 那她缺男人吗
- Yes. Amy is his sister. - And what's her deal?
你不是参加婚礼了吗 Hitchcock
You were at the wedding, Hitchcock.
我打算打电♥话♥取消聚餐
I'm just gonna call and cancel.
我真的不想跟我妈吃饭的时候
I really don't want to have dinner with my mom
她只顾讨好那个天之骄子
fawning all over the golden boy.
我相信你妈妈对你们的爱是平等的
I'm sure your mom loves you both equally.
不她确实不是
No, she definitely doesn't.
我的父母按照谁最让他们骄傲的先后顺序
My parents arrange the photos of their kids
摆放孩子们的照片
by who makes them the proudest.
最棒的那个放在壁炉架上
Number one goes on the mantel above the fireplace,
第二名到第四名放在钢琴上
two through four on the piano,
- 剩下的就挂在楼梯旁 - 这也太差劲了
- and the rest are on the staircase. - This is wack.
- 所以David的在壁炉架上吗 - 一直都是
- So David's on the mantel? - Always.
相比之下我的照片就在钢琴上吃灰
Meanwhile, my picture gathers dust on the piano.
放在钢琴上也不错啊
The piano's not that bad.
我家里没人♥弹♥钢琴 Rosa
Nobody in the family even plays, Rosa.
至少楼梯还能被大家用到
At least people use the stairs.
好了 David很完美但你也一样
All right, David is perfect, but so are you.
今晚我们还是去吧我来做你的吹捧者
Let's just go tonight, and I'll be your hype man.
你知道我有多会夸你
You know how good I am at talking you up.
看着 Scully
Here, watch. Hey, Scully.
你知不知道Amy是个超级酷的人
Did you know that Amy is super cool?
真的吗能给我签个名吗长官
No way. Can I get your autograph, ma'am?
- 你看 - 好吧那就去吧
- See? - Fine, we'll go.
什么对你的粉丝这么傲慢吗
What, too stuck up for your fans?
你这个混球
Ya friggin' turd!
警监警长
Hey, Captain, Sarge,
有个案子我想跟你们讨论一下
I have a case I want to discuss with you.
你是想在休息室里讨论工作的事吗
You want to talk about work in the break room?
虽然有些离经叛道但觉得可以试试
That's highly unorthodox, but I suppose we can give it a try.
好我这里有一个罪犯
Okay, so I have a perp...
抱歉我受不了了我们还是去我办公室谈吧
I'm sorry, this is insane. Let's talk in my office.
舒服多了好了 Boyle
Much better. All right, Boyle,
你想谈的是什么案子
what's this case you wanted to talk about?
有个罪犯叫Alfonso Tucker
I have a perp, Alfonso Tucker,
要转移到我们的扣留室
transferring into our holding cell.
那个贩卖♥♥有毒冰♥毒♥的家伙
The guy who was dealing that toxic batch of meth?
对他拒绝交代他的供货人
Yeah, and he refuses to name his supplier.
我想把一个我们的人关进囚室
I want to send someone into holding,
伪装成罪犯看看能不能让他开口
undercover as a perp, to see if they can get him to open up.
你为什么不去
Why don't you do it?
你一直滔滔不绝地说你的演技
You're always going on about your acting abilities
还有上次你扮演了Annie
and that time you played Annie.
<安妮> 美国音乐剧改编自漫画讲述善良勇敢的小孤女Annie的故事
我是一名成年男子警长我没有扮演Annie
I'm an adult man, Sarge. I didn't play Annie.
我只是出演<安妮(Annie)>那部戏
I was in "Annie."
我扮演的是Hannigan小姐
I played Miss Hannigan.
Hannigan小姐是Annie所在的孤儿院院长凶悍吝啬对孩子们很坏
可惜 Alfonso知道我是个警♥察♥了
Unfortunately, Alfonso knows I'm a cop,
所以我不能当Maxwell Blaze了
so I can't be Maxwell Blaze.
但Terry或许很适合这个角色
But Terry might be right for the role.
哦听起来还挺有意思
Ooh, that sounds fun.
我喜欢展现我艺术方面的实力
I love flexing my creative muscles.
除了展现我真正的肌肉实力之外
In addition to flexing my actual muscles.
- 或者我去也可以 - 什么你不是讨厌戏剧吗
- Or I could do it. - What? You hate theater.
你总是说表演只不过是专业的谎言
You always say acting is just professional lying.
没错但这是任务所需
Yes, but this is what the mission calls for,
并且我很擅长
and I'm good at it.
Kevin和我曾经参加过一个晚宴
Kevin and I went to a dinner party
我们一起玩了法式室内游戏"猜字谜"
where we played the French parlor game "Charades."
我被迫表演了埃尔维斯·普雷斯利(猫王)
I had to act out Elvis Presley.
他已经去世了所以我用那种方式演了出来
He's dead now, so I portrayed him as such.
所有人
Everyone understood...
一下子就猜到了
Immediately.
你知道一场小小的较量
You know, a little competition
或许可以激发出你们俩的最佳状态
might bring out the best in both of you.
我们今天下午试演
We'll hold auditions this afternoon.
我来准备材料
I'll prepare sides.
请穿上可以正常活动的衣服
Please wear clothes you can move in.
我们得在David之前找到桌子
Okay, let's get to the table before David gets here.
斯堪龙牛排餐厅
我妈妈喜欢早到的人
My mother loves an early bird.
亲爱的进去之前我想说
Hey, babe, before we go in,
我知道我说过要做你的吹捧者什么的但是
I know I said I was gonna do the whole hype man thing, but...
我知道
I know.
我不应该拿我自己跟我哥哥比
I shouldn't compare myself to my brother.
我们有各自的人生
We're all on our own journey.
什么不是谁跟你说的这些废话
What? No. Who told you that garbage?
我想说的是我们需要一份备用方案
I was gonna say, we need a backup plan
这样你就能赢得上风了
so you can win this thing.
要是情况不利我就假装噎到了
If it starts slipping away, I'll pretend to choke,
然后你就对我用海姆利克氏急救法
and then you give me the Heimlich
在所有人面前救我一命
and save my life in front of everyone.
哇谢谢你没有尝试把我变成一个更好的人
Aw, thanks for not trying to make me a better person.
- 我爱你 - 我也爱你
- I love you. - Love you too.
Amy Jake
Amy, Jake!
我和David都早到了一个小时
David and I both arrived an hour early.
我们正一块喝法式洋葱汤呢
We're sharing a French onion.
妈的