神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E07

Part 1 April 4, 2020, 8:18 p.m.

还有人要再来一杯冷萃咖啡吗
Another cold brew?
那我就不"客汽"了对上梗了
Don't mind if I "Cold do." Nailed it.
我真是爱死了Charles带来的这台咖啡机了
I am loving this machine that Charles brought in.
是很不错
It is nice.
诀窍就在于让咖啡升温到室温
The trick is to let the coffee warm up to room temperature.
我已经在喝第二杯了
I'm already on my second cup.
这是我的第三杯
This is my third.
停下
Stop!
你们喝得太多了
You're drinking too much!
哇发生什么事了 Charles
Whoa, what's going on, Charles?
你为什么说话这么慢
Why are you talking so slow?
我没有我很正常
I'm not. I'm normal.
我们都很正常
We're all normal.
如果不是你慢的话那就是说我们快了
If you're not going slow, that means we're going fast.
是我们快了吗有人能看得出我们太快了吗
Are we going fast? Can anyone tell if we're going fast?
无论如何我都不觉得是我们快了
I don't think we're going fast at all in any way whatsoever.
无论如何我都觉得是我们慢了
I feel like we're going slow in every way whatsoever.
- 警监你感觉如何 - 很棒很好很奇妙
- Captain, how do you feel? - Great. Excellent. Amazing.
我感觉比我这辈子的任何时候
I feel better than I've ever felt at any moment
- 都要好 - 所以说我们都很好
- in my entire life. - So we're all fine?
对
Yep.
神烦警探
第六季第七集
你好警监噢这是你的新助理吗
Hey there, Captain. Oh, is this your new assistant?
John Urblan 很高兴认识里
John Urblan. Nice to meet ya.
就这样John Urblan刚刚被炒了
And John Urblan has just been fired.
- 啥 - 我被炒了
- What? - I have?
认识"里"
Meet "Ya"?
你刚刚把一个单音节词给缩写了
You just abbreviated a one-syllable word.
- 这是讲真的吗 - 是的
- Is this for real? - Yes.
现在去清空你的"桌"吧
Now clean out your "Des."
我把"子"字去掉
I removed the K
来让你知道"里"听起来有多么可笑
so you'd understand how absurd "Ya" Sound.
噢天抱歉啦 John Urblan 再见
Oh, boy. Sorry, John Urblan. Bye.
好了长官这是你三天以来
Okay, sir, so that is the third assistant
炒掉的第三个助理了
you've fired in three days.
因为所有应聘者都很垃圾
Because all the candidates are garbage.
微软文字处理软件根本算不是什么特长
Microsoft Word is not a special skill,
来自南奥兰治的Marcie Lux
Marcie Lux from South Orange.
别闹了你看看这堆简历的高度
Come on, look at the size of that stack of resumes.
里面一定能找到合适的人选
There's got to be someone good.
噢没错或许我应该抱着开放的心态
Oh, yes, perhaps I should keep an open mind.
或许越野滑雪对于办公室环境来说
Perhaps cross-country skiing is a valuable skill
真的是一项宝藏技能
in an office environment,
来自南奥兰治的Marcie Lux
Marcie Lux of South Orange.
好叭我们可以肯定Marcie Lux已经出局了
Okay, so we can agree Marcie Lux is out of the mix.
这么说他们都得出局
Well, they all are.
没有助理我就先凑合着过吧
I'll just make do with no assistant.
不别这么轻易地放弃
No, don't just give up.
或许你只是还没找到合适的人
Maybe you haven't found the right person yet.
Gina是我找的或许我可以试一试
I found Gina. Maybe I could try.
可以我觉得可以一试
Okay. I suppose it's worth a shot.
反正我最终还是可以炒掉你找来的人
I can always fire whoever you choose.
对嘛要的就是这个气势
Yeah, that's the spirit.
开始特殊行动:肮脏
Commence Operation: Nasty.
新助理选拔队你
New Assistant Selection Team... You.
New Assistant Selection Team You的首字母组成了NASTY(肮脏)
新助理选拔队你
New Assistant Selection Team You?
啊不用您操心
Yeah, don't worry about it.
大家只会管它叫特殊行动:肮脏
Everyone will just call it Operation: Nasty.
你不必把所有东西都变成
You don't have to turn everything
汤姆·克鲁斯的电影一样
into a Thomas Cruise film.
为什么不电影超有趣的
Why not? Movies are super fun.
而且现实生活太无趣了
Meanwhile, real life is very boring.
这就是为什么没人看纪录片
That's why no one watches documentaries.
你把这话跟那个上周六下午坐我旁边
Tell that to the man sitting next to me at last Saturday
和我一起观看<坂本龙一魅力依旧:终结> 的男人说去吧
afternoon's screening of "Ryuichi Sakamoto: Coda."
那个男人是Kevin吗
Was that man Kevin?
- 是的 - 好叭
- Yes. - All right,
我要去帮你找个新助理了
I'm gonna help you find a new assistant.
特殊行动:肮脏正式开始
Operation: Nasty is a go!
嘿我可以和你们说两句吗
Hey, can I talk to you guys?
呃你该不会是又想要为你女儿们那个
Ugh, you're not selling those crapola candy bars
不成气候的篮球队卖♥♥垃圾糖果吧
for your daughters' doomed basketball team again, are you?
- 不成气候 - 是啊
- Doomed? - Yeah.
你明知道他们很糟糕
They're terrible and you know it.
可我现在不是在卖♥♥糖果
Well, I'm not selling candy.
那是下周的事请务必记得带现金
That's next week. Please bring cash.
我想说的是我们的办公室
What I want to talk about is how our office
已经变成了一个垃圾场
has turned into a junkyard.
是啊你知道的这地方就是一团糟
Yeah, you know, this place is a mess.
就像是"囤积者"的其中一集
I mean, it's like an episode of "Hoarders."
而且还不是有趣的那种
And not one of the funny ones,
就是他们找到一堆压扁的猫那种
where they find a bunch of flat cats.
问题是
The problem is,
Kelly局长是永远不可能重新开放一楼了
Commissioner Kelly is never gonna reopen the first floor.
我们就该炒掉一些穿制♥服♥的
We should just fire some of the uniforms.
不是你们啦呃我们没了你们可活不下去了 Greg和
But not you. Uh, we couldn't survive without you, Greg, and...
另一个Greg
also Greg?
是James和Michael
James and Michael.
没人会被炒掉
No one is getting fired.
我们只需要重新收拾一下这里
We just need to organize this place.
不了跟着我做拥抱这片凌乱
Nah, do what I do. Embrace the mess.
你的毛衣上粘住了一块贝吉饼
You've got a bagel stuck to your sweater.
你看我不是想听起来像个Scully一样
Look, I don't want to sound like a Scully here,
但我觉得这是无可救药的
but I think it's hopeless.
没人能收拾好这个地方
Nobody could organize this place.
- 没有人 - 以下是我们需要的东西
- Nobody? - Here's what I need.
便签贴三种大小十种颜色
Sticky notes, three sizes, ten colors.
永久性记号♥笔只要那种按动款的
Permanent markers, clickable only.
我可不想让笔盖拖慢我们的进度
I don't want caps slowing us down.
我还要垃圾袋 33加仑的
And I need garbage bags, 33 gallon,
不透明带提手
blackout, cinch top.
你们还在这愣着干嘛
What are you all still doing here?
去啊去啊
Go, go, go!
Holt警监
Captain Holt,
我想向你介绍你的新助理
I'd like to introduce you to your new assistant.
击鼓起
Drumroll, please.
- 这就是你的击鼓 - 当没有节奏指定的时候
- That's your drumroll? - When a tempo isn't specified,
任何理智的人都会默认是慢拍
any reasonable person would default to lento.
讲真这很糟糕你又毁了一个有趣的事
Well, it's terrible, and you ruined a fun thing,
但我还是乐意向你介绍
but I would still like to introduce you
Gordon Lundt先生
to Mr. Gordon Lundt!
Gordon Lundt先生
Mr. Gordon Lundt!
Gordon 你要进来吗
Gordon, you want to come in here?
噢我很抱歉
Oh, I'm so sorry.
我刚刚在考虑要不要直接回家
I was just deciding whether I should just go home.
你介绍时的语气和高声调
The tone and tenor of your introduction
让我担心这会不会是个我不喜欢的
make me worry that this is a "Fun" Office,
"有趣"的办公室
which I would not enjoy.
怎么样
Ehh?
你好我是Raymond Holt警监
Hello, I'm Captain Raymond Holt,
我可以向你保证这不是一个有趣的办公室
and I can assure you, this is not a fun office.
感谢上天
Thank goodness.
这样的话我的兴趣又恢复了
In that case, my interest is renewed.
- 这是我的简历 - 我感觉到了
- Here is my resume. - Oh, I'm feeling this.
你们感觉到了吗
Are you guys feeling this?
Gordon 不如你向Holt警监
Gordon, why don't you tell Captain Holt
稍微介绍一下你自己呀
a little bit about yourself?
从何开始呢我身高174厘米
Where to begin? I'm 174 centimeters tall,
我打字速度是103词每分钟
I can type 103 words per minute
错误率1.6%