神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
第六季
剧集 | 神烦警探 | 导航列表
神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E16
Part 1
April 4, 2020, 8:20 p.m.
嗨嗨嗨 今天是一年中最棒的一天
Hey, hey hey! It's the best day of the year.
五月五日节快乐
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
五月五日节 墨西哥的地区性节日 是为庆祝墨西哥军队击败法国殖民军而设立的
Hitchcock 你没被允许穿斗篷来上班吧
I don't think you're allowed to wear a poncho to work, Hitchcock.
狂欢起来吧
Let's fiesta!
哦 你还请了乐队
Oh, you got a band.
停 停 不准有小号♥
Stop, stop! No trumpets!
今天不行 我头痛死了
Not today! My head is killing me!
早早喝了龙舌兰吧 哈
Hit the tequila a little early, huh?
Hitchcock 我没有宿醉 我这是压力导致的头痛
I'm not hung over, Hitchcock. I've got a tension headache.
我今晚有警督考试
I've got the Lieutenant's exam tonight.
我已经像疯了一样化压力为食欲了
I'm stress-eating like crazy.
就今天早上 我已经吃了十个煮熟的蛋黄了
I had ten hard-boiled egg yolks this morning.
太恶心了
Gross.
你这是高程度的考前崩溃时间
You're having a high-grade pre-test freak out.
我也有这样的经历 在2001年3月13日那天
I've been there. March 13, 2001.
AP微积分考试
AP Calc test
Ames 我不想打断你
Ames, I hate to cut you off,
但是我们都知道这个故事会如何发展
but we all know where this story's going.
哦 是吗
Oh, yeah?
你知道我在考试中途拉在自己裤子上了吗
You know that I crapped my pants in the middle of the test?
天啦 没有 我以为你要说
Oh my God, no, I thought you were just gonna say
你只得了B加啥的呢
you got a B+ or something.
- 更像是得了BM(排便) - 棒
- More like a BM. - Noice.
得了吧 现在Terry担心他的考试和他的肠胃了
Come on, now Terry's worried about his test and his bowels!
警长 你现在需要的是转移你的注意力
What you need, Sergeant, is to distract yourself.
全国公共广播电台有个关于艾琳·穆恩·梅耶斯的六小时访谈
NPR has a riveting six hour interview with Eileen Moon Myers.
没人知道她是谁
Nobody knows who that is.
没人知道纽约爱乐乐团的首席大提琴手吗
Nobody knows the Associate Principal Cellist in the New York Philharmonic?
行吧
Okay.
等等 我知道了 我知道怎么让Terry分心了
Wait! I've got it! I know how to distract Terry.
警监 还记得你为什么取消上一次的万圣节抢夺战吗
Captain, remember how you cancelled the last Halloween heist
因为有一处紧急天然气管道爆♥炸♥
because there was that emergency gas line explosion
你说我们必须去"帮忙"
and you said we had to "Help out"?
是的 我也记得
Yes, I also remember
你不相信那是真的爆♥炸♥
you refusing to believe the explosion was real.
伙计 回表演学校再修♥炼♥一下吧
Go back to acting school, buddy.
你有点夸大你的疼痛了
You're way overselling the pain here.
没人会买♥♥账的
No one's buying it!
对 但并不是只有我一个人觉得那是假的
Well, it's not like I was the only one who thought it was fake.
奥斯卡得主就是 Trent
And the Oscar goes to... Trent!
你说我们应该把抢夺战安排到其他的日子
You said that we should reschedule the heist for another day,
所以今天怎么样 帮Terry分心
so why not today? To help distract Terry?
对 而且我很乐意卫冕
Yes! And I would love to defend my crown
自从我去年了碾压你们所有人
after I destroyed you all last year.
呃 我觉得 求婚是我计划的一部分吧
Well, I mean, the proposal was all part of my plan.
我只记得你朝我跪下了
All I remember is you bowing to me on your knees.
对 我是想让你嫁给我
Yeah, I was asking you to marry me.
得了 你看起来像个傻子
Well, you look like a fool.
你们俩都没赢
Neither of you won,
因为Jake偷偷换了真正的冠军腹带
because Jake swapped out the real championship cummerbund
腰带
Belt.
换成了甜蜜求婚版
For the treacly proposal one.
什么
What?
我以为大家都喜欢我用抢夺战来求婚呢
I thought everyone loved that I used the heist to do the proposal.
你错了 大家都讨厌它 不过这帮我获胜了
You are wrong, everyone hated it, but it helped me win.
在你们庆祝订婚的时候
During your engagement celebration,
我偷偷溜回来 找到了正版的腹带
I snuck back, and found the original cummerbund.
腰带
Belt.
它现在正挂在我家客厅的墙上
It's hanging up in my living room at home.
我永远也没想到我会说这个 不过前戏够多了吧
I never thought I'd say this, but enough foreplay!
我们要不要举♥行♥抢夺战
Are we heisting or not?
- 要 - 当然
- Yes! - Of course!
等等 我只会在这一种情况下举♥行♥抢夺赛
Wait, I will only do this under one condition.
那就是Jeffords警长同意这样能减轻他的紧张
Sergeant Jeffords agrees that this will help his nerves.
是的 我是说 我很乐意暂时忘记考试
Yeah, I mean, I would like to take my mind off the test.
而且或许我今年会赢呢
And maybe I'll win this year!
啊 抢夺战已经开始发挥作用了
Ah, the heist is already working.
Jeffords警长已经恢复他的幽默感了
Sergeant Jeffords has recovered his sense of humor.
嘿
Hey!
好吧 不过说真的
All right, but for real, though.
我们真的要举♥行♥吗
Are we doing this?
- 我们要举♥行♥抢夺战 - 抢夺战
- We're doing this! - Heist!
- 抢夺战 - 抢夺战
- Heist! - Heist!
这是五月五日节抢夺战
It's a Cinco de Mayo heist!
五月五日节抢夺战和万圣节抢夺战一样合理
A Cinco de Mayo heist makes just as much sense as Halloween!
开始吧
Let's do it!
神烦警探
第六季 第十六集
欢迎各位来到
Welcome one and all to the
第一届五月五日万圣节抢夺战六
first ever Cinco de Mayo Halloween Heist 6!
我们没还没想好名称
We're still working on the title.
- 不用了 我喜欢这个名字 - 谢谢你 Charles
- No need, I love it! - Thank you, Charles.
现在 在此之前
Now, before we go any further,
我们应该先选一个要偷的东西
we should probably choose an item to steal.
有人带着什么值钱的东西吗
Does anyone have anything valuable on them?
一些珠宝之类的
Maybe some jewelry?
我有一个医用报♥警♥手环
I have a medical alert bracelet
它能告诉人们我的名字和住址
that tells people my name and address,
以防我突然晕厥
in case I have a brain collapse.
完美 今年的冠军
Perfect, this year's champion will be
就属于今晚午夜时分能拿到Scully这个烦人手环的人
whoever's in possession of Scully's very upsetting bracelet at midnight tonight.
我下午六点三十就要考试
I take my test at 6:30.
你知道吗 Terry 你好像把抢夺战变成了一场噩梦
You know what, Terry? You're kind of making this a nightmare.
或许你就不应该参与
Maybe you just shouldn't participate.
所以这不是为了帮助Jeffords警长
So this really isn't about helping out Sergeant Jeffords?
- 什么 - 我觉得我该退出
- What? - I guess I'm out.
但是 不不不 别啊
But, no, no, no, no, come on.
我当然是百分百支持Terry的
Of course I'm 100% in support of Terry.
其实 我要和他组队
In fact, I'm going to team up with him.
来吧
Let's do this!
你太容易被♥操♥纵了
You are so easily manipulated.
现在你和傻傻警长捆绑在一块了
Now you're stuck with Sergeant Dumb Dumb.
- 该死 - 嘿
- Damn it. - Hey.
Santiago 我们组队吧
Santiago, shall we join forces?
哦 机智 和卫冕冠军组队
Ooh, smart, teaming up with the reigning champ.
又说这种蠢话 我才是卫冕冠军
Again with this nonsense? I'm the reigning champ.
上次抢夺战中 你唯一赢得的
The only thing you won last heist
是与Jake长达一辈子的无趣异性恋性♥交♥
was the lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake.
你怎么敢
How dare you.
没人觉得你上次赢了
No one thinks you won last year.
哇 我还以为那句"你怎么敢"
Wow, really thought the "How dare you"
是和他刻薄的性♥爱♥评论有关呢 不过行吧
was going to be linked to his mean sex comment, but okay.
对的 不好意思 我告诉你
Right, sorry. I'll have you know.
我和Jake每晚都让彼此"精疲力竭"
Jake and I wear each other out every single night.
天啦 有点过了 你知道吗
Good lord, overcompensating. You know what?
或许我们不应该在工作场合谈论这个
Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work.
我在给Kevin发短♥信♥ 让他带来那条冠军腹带
I'm texting Kevin to bring the cummerbund.
让你们这些爱自夸的异性恋们看看谁是真正的赢家
You'll see who the real winner is, you braggy breeders.
内讧够多了
A lot of infighting.
现在抛弃Amy 和我这位"小奶猫大盗"组队还不算太晚
Not too late to ditch Amy and team up with this pussycat burglar.
Boyle 得了吧 你唯一的价值就是
Please, Boyle, your only value was
你有一个如今已经无法起作用的分身
you had a doppelganger which no longer matters
因为Bill在那次事故中去世了
since Bill died in that accident.
- Bill 愿你安息 - 真难过 - 悲剧啊
- RIP, Bill. - So sad. - Tragic.
没有Bill我也是一样有用
I can still be useful without Bill!
对于这双小手来说 世界上就没有狭窄的洞
No hole's too tight for these tiny tips.
是为了偷东西
For stealing stuff!
行吧
Well, fine.
看来我只能和我的朋友Rosa组队了
Looks like I'll just team up with my friend Rosa.
我退出 五次抢夺战已经够了
I'm out. Five heists was enough.
这事已经没有别的可能了
神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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