神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E12

Part 2 April 4, 2020, 8:19 p.m.

那是那年最冷的一个夜晚
It was the coldest night of the year,
你在我睡着的时候给我穿了袜子
and you put socks on my feet while I slept.
但你甚至从来没有把这归功于自己
You never even took credit for it.
不过现在我既因为那么做了
But now I'm getting credit for that
也因为没有邀功而被表扬
and for not taking credit.
这是双重的功劳你这个傻子
That's double credit, you fool.
你们俩真是最可爱了
You two are just the cutest.
我等不及听到第一名了
I can't wait for number one!
哦艾哈迈德·拉什来了
Oh, it's Ahmad Rashad.
我是Pam 住在隔壁
I'm Pam. I'm from next door.
我听到你们俩的对话
I was listening to the two of you talk
想来看一眼
and just had to get a look.
你们都非常有魅力
You're both very attractive.
- 是吧 - Boyle 赶紧回家
- Aren't they? - Boyle, go home!
噢 Pam能留下我就不行
Oh, Pam can stay but not me?
对因为她是这儿的病人
Yeah, because she's a patient here.
我猜的因为你穿的袍子
I'm assuming, because of your gown.
我的确是我得了肠扭转
I am. I have a twisted bowel.
我有个管子还有个袋子
I have a tube; I have a bag.
你们想看看吗
Do you want to see?
噢不用了不用了
Oh, no, no, no.
不过谢谢你的好意 Pam
But thank you, Pam.
如果你们闻到了什么就告诉我
Let me know if you smell anything.
我现在已经注意不到了
I don't even notice it anymore.
我可以确定其实我已经闻到什么了
Well, I'm pretty sure I actually already smell something.
- 不你会知道的 - 哦
- No, you'll know. - Oh.
你们俩有孩子吗
Do you two have kids?
混血儿总是那么可爱
Mixed race babies are always so adorable.
噢你说了点啥
Oh, you said words.
我们目前还没有孩子
Yeah, we don't have kids yet,
但我们很快就会开始试着造人
but we're gonna start trying soon.
我只有一个小孩我的Bobby
I just have the one, my Bobby.
他是个那么可爱的小孩
He was such a cute little kid,
直到他发现了自己有小鸡鸡
until he discovered his wiener.
Pam 你在这儿啊该静脉注射了
Pam, there you are. It's time for your IV.
你竟然在这儿放音乐
You're playing music in here?
不能这么做的
You can't do that.
为什么不能 Janet护士
Why not, Nurse Janet?
因为这会让医生分心吗
Is it gonna distract the doctors?
没错就是这个原因
Yes, that's exactly what it'll do.
那好吧我马上就关掉
Okay, fine, I'll turn it off immediately.
- 我们算是坏人了吗 - 对看起来就是这样
- Are we the bad guys here? - Yeah, it seems very likely.
嘿顺便一提
Hey, by the way,
我们不需要装作我们是在卧底
we don't have to pretend we're undercover here.
医院的工作人员知道我们是警♥察♥
The hospital staff knows we're cops.
噢我没有在编造卧底身份
Oh, I wasn't setting up cover.
- 对吧 - 只是你说的关于孩子的事情
- Was I? - Well, just the kids thing.
你说我们很快要开始试着要孩子了
Saying that we were gonna start trying soon.
噢抱歉我并不是说我们马上就要开始
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean right away.
我只是说在不远的将来
I just meant in the near future.
噢好吧
Oh. Okay.
酷酷酷酷酷酷
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
酷酷酷酷
Cool, cool, cool, cool,
但是有个小问题在于
except for that there's one little problem there,
我不知道我是不是完全了解
which is that I don't know that I totally know
我自己想不想要孩子
that I for sure want to have kids,
所以呢
so...
- 你不想要孩子吗 - 是啊
- You don't? - No.
- 你想要孩子吗 - 对啊
- Do you? - Uhhuh.
噢
Oh.
我就不明白了
I don't understand. I thought we were
我以为在孩子这件事情上我们的看法是一致的
on the same page about kids.
- 我们谈过这件事呀 - 谈过吗
- We talked about this. - We did?
噢快看我哥哥发来的Matthew的照片
Aw, look at these pictures my brother sent of Matthew.
- 嗯 - 我们什么时候也应该做这件事
- Mm. - We should do this someday.
你觉得呢
What do you think?
你开玩笑吗当然啦
Are you kidding me? Of course.
我指的是去水上公园玩儿
I was talking about going to the water park.
你指的是要孩子吗
You were talking about having kids?
对啊我说 "你认为我们能负担得起吗"
Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?"
然后你说 "我们马上就开始攒钱吧"
And you said, "We'll start saving right away."
所以让我搞清楚这件事
So let me get this straight.
我攒的去水上公园所有的钱
All that water park money I've been saving,
现在你都想花在孩子身上了吗
you want to spend it on kids now?
对啊为什么你想把那么多钱
Yeah. Why would you want to spend that much money
花在水上公园呢
on a water park?
好吧抱歉我不知道我该说什么了
Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say here.
我只是我从来就不想要小孩
I just... I never wanted children.
好吧我一直都想要小孩
Well, I always have.
那好吧那我们要怎么办呢
All right, so how do we handle this?
我想说当两个人对于一件事有完全相反的主张时
I mean, there's only one thing to do when two people
只有一个办法能解决
have diametrically opposing views on a subject.
进行有爱的交流然后确定如何先前发展吗
Talk about it lovingly and decide how to move forward?
- 结构化辩论 - 噢真是有趣啊
- Structured debate. - Oh. Fun.
高中模式改良版林肯-道格拉斯辩论模式
High school format. Modified Lincoln-Douglas.
我们分别有一小时的时间做调查和准备没错
Let's take one hour apart for research and prep. Yeah.
太好了让我们来做林肯-道格拉斯模式辩论吧
Great, I'll just do a Lincoln-Douglas.
如果我是你我一定会小心行事了
I'd be careful if I were you.
恋爱就像肠道
Relationships are like bowels.
一旦打结了就永远解不开了
Once you get them twisted, they can never untwist.
Pam 你又来了
Pam, you're in here again.
一小时后
你就准备了那点东西吗
That's all you prepped?
没错我洞察了我的内心
Yeah, I just searched my heart
然后写下了我的真情实感
and then wrote down how I was feeling.
我会把你生吞了的你这个蠢货
I'm gonna eat you alive, you dumb son of a bitch.
酷然后我们就要一起生孩子是吧
Cool. And then we'll have kids together?
是呀那会很棒的
Yeah. It's gonna be great.
好了今天的话题是
Okay, the topic today
我们是否应该要孩子
is whether or not we should have children.
我是支持的一方
I will be taking the affirmative.
你是反对的一方
You will be taking the negative.
每一轮都会由
Each round will be
我们的裁判警监Holt 来评分
individually scored by our judge, Captain Holt.
你需要听听我的资格证书号♥吗
Do you need to hear my credentials?
辩论监督证书编号♥ delta的D 8-1-0
Debate moderator license D as in delta, 8-1-0...
- 我相信你 - Yankee的Y 4-1
- I believe you. - Y as in Yankee, 4-1.
Juliet的J Juliet的J 6
J as in Juliet, J as in Juliet, 6.
- 太好了 - 我有一系列的计时器
- Great. - I have a variety of timers.
- 你是喜欢蜂鸣器还是叮铃器 - 我不在意
- Do you prefer a buzz or a ding? - Don't care.
- 叮铃器 - 好的
- Ding. - Okay.
Peralta 你可以提出你的第一个论点从你的呃
Peralta, you can present the first argument from your, uh...
潦草的情感清单上
Scribbled list of feelings.
我得让你们知道
I'll have you know
我也是有一些有数据依据的论点的
that I have some data-driven arguments as well.
根据一个我看过的研究
According to a study I read,
有孩子的人会更少表现出
people with kids were less likely
反映他们对生活感到快乐
to report that they were happy in their lives
远低于没有孩子的人
than people without kids.
好了当我是说疯话吧但是感到快乐会让我觉得
Now, call me crazy, but being happy tends to make me feel,
嗯很快乐
uh, pretty happy.
你在哪里看到这个研究的
Where did you read this study?
好吧与其说是看到的不如说是别人告诉我的
Well, it wasn't something I read so much as told about.
那么是谁告诉你的呢
And who told you about it?
- Hitchcock - Hitchcock吗
- Hitchcock. - Hitchcock?
- 没错 - 对于他来说提起这件事似乎太需要脑力了
- Yeah. - that seems like a pretty intellectual thing for him to mention.
你们在谈什么时他提到的呀
What was the context?
他之前投资了一款避孕环的竞争产品叫做避孕塞
He had invested in a NuvaRing competitor called Vag-a-Plug
他在我身上练习推销技巧
and was practicing his sales pitch on me.
这就是你的第一个论点吗你的开场陈述吗
This is your first argument? Your opening statement?
Amy得分