神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E02

Part 1 April 4, 2020, 8:17 p.m.

纽约市
所以
So,
要两千克可♥卡♥因♥对吧
two keys, huh?
这量可不小啊
That's a lot of snow.
你要是拿不出来
And if you can't handle it,
我们再找下家就是了
we're happy to find someone who can.
别担心朋友我当然拿得出了
Don't worry about me, friend. I can handle it.
Marissa 宝贝
Marissa, baby,
给我们的客人拿点喝的来好吗
go get our guests something to drink, would you?
- 我们不需要喝的 - 这算什么串门儿吗
- We don't want a drink. - What is this, a social call?
这又不是茶话会
It's not a tea party.
你当我们是五岁小女孩吗
We look like five-year-old girls to you?
先生们安静
Gentlemen, please.
有点耐心好吗
Have some patience.
你们要的两千克
Two keys.
和天主教的女学生一样纯
Pure as a Catholic schoolgirl.
你们带现金了吗
Did you bring the cash?
我们带的可比现金要棒多了
Oh, we brought something much better than cash.
- 是什么 - 枪啊
- What is that? - Our guns!
纽约警局你们被捕了
NYPD! You're under arrest!
头儿不见了他去哪了
Boss man's gone. Where'd he go?
谢了小妹妹
Thank you kindly, little lady.
Gio Costa
Gio Costa,
你被逮捕了
you're under arrest.
现在要来一杯吗 Hitchcock
You want that drink now, Hitchcock?
那我就不客气了 Scully
Don't mind if I do, Scully.
那我就不客气了
Don't mind if I do.
神烦警探
第六季第二集
"自"洁厨房♥
是如何运作的
第一步

什么鬼啊 Diaz
What the hell, Diaz?
你想让你的心脏爆♥炸♥吗
You trying to make your heart explode?
我在往肚子里屯咖啡
I'm loading up on coffee
因为现在来一趟厨房♥简直令人窒息
because it's a pain in the ass getting to the kitchen now,
我不想再受一次罪了
and I don't want to come back here.
是因为办公桌吗
Is this about the desks?
对 Terry 就是因为办公桌
Yes, Terry, it's about the desks.
Kelly局长到底要惩罚我们到什么时候
How long is Commissioner Kelly going to punish us
就因为Holt警监向市长投诉了他
because Captain Holt complained about him to the mayor?
我不知道我希望快点结束
I don't know, but I hope it ends soon.
Terry的肩膀待不了太小的地方
Terry's shoulders weren't built for tight spaces.
这里简直就是碰碰车乐园
It's bonk city in here!
今早我说过的"借过"
I've said "Excuse me" more times this morning
比我这辈子说的都多
than I have in my entire life.
整整两次
Twice!
- Jake - Rosa
- Jake. - Rosa.
早上好啊
Good morning.
老天我们靠得真是近啊
Oh, my. We are very close together.
我喜欢
I love it.
你还记得我一直想再要个孩子吗
Hey, you know how I've always wanted to have another child?
就要实现了
Well, it's happening!
Genevieve怀上了吗
Genevieve is pregnant?
但我以为你的"这个"
But I thought your "Meh-err"
不再产生"那个"了
no longer made "Whoo-oo".
对我的睾丸不再产生精♥子♥了
Correct. My testes no longer make sperm.
我觉得讲"这个"和"那个"就行了
I was good with "Meh-err" and "Whoo-oo".
不是我们又开始考虑领养了
No, we're thinking of adopting again.
我们最近收到了一封邮件
We just got an email
是拉脱维亚一个15岁的男孩写来的
from Nikolaj's 15-year-old brother in Latvia
Nikolaj还从没见过这个哥哥呢
that he's never met.
他的名字叫Dragomir
Yeah, his name is Dragomir.
我的老天爷啊
Oh, my God.
这不是个42岁的毛皮猎人吗
That is a 42-year-old fur trapper.
什么你看不出他和Nikolaj长得像吗
What? You don't see the resemblance?
我看长得像Matisyahu吧
Yeah, to Matisyahu.
Matisyahu 美国雷鬼乐歌♥手常戴黑帽并留长胡子
他怎么可能才15岁
There's no way he's 15.
那么他为什么说他最害怕的事
Well, then, how come he wrote that his greatest fear
是"经历青春期"
is quote "Going through puberty"?
大概是因为他想让你以为他只有15岁
Probably because he wants you to think he's 15
骗你收养他吧
so you'll adopt him.
听着 Charles 我不想这么说
Look, Charles, I hate to say this,
但我认为这家伙在骗你
but I think this guy is scamming you.
得了吧你总是在怀疑别人
Come on. You're just suspicious of everyone.
Jake Charles
Jake! Charles!
警监要见你们两个
Captain wants to see you!
我没法走过去了
I cannot get through this room anymore,
所以我现在都用吼的
so I'm yelling everything now.
Nancy 警监说同意你
Nancy, Captain said you can
上午请假去看心理医生
go to your psychologist this morning.
你可以走了去把脑子看看好吧
You're clear! Get your head right.
先生们我们遇到了一个问题
Gentlemen, we have a situation.
Scully和Hitchcock刚刚接到了内务部的电♥话♥
Scully and Hitchcock just got a call from Internal Affairs.
说要调查一个他们在1986年办的案子
They're interested in a case of theirs from 1986.
在我看来现在来提陈年往事
If you ask me, this old case is only coming up now
就是因为局长想要
because the commissioner is trying to
在99分局搞个丑闻
drum up a scandal in the Nine-Nine.
再顺便弄走你两个最好的警探
And take out your two best detectives in the process.
你们不是我最好的警探
You're not my two best detectives.
这我就放心了
Oh, that's such a relief.
我感觉安全多了
I feel so much safer now.
天爷呀
Good lord.
别去给内务部的调查捣乱
Don't interfere with IA's investigation.
只要弄清楚当时到底发生了什么
Just find out what actually happened
以防Kelly篡改事实
in case Kelly is trying to manipulate the facts.
你们能做到吗
Can you do that?
所以你是要我们穿越到激♥情♥又野性的八十年代
Oh, so you're asking if we can open a portal to the wet and wild 1980s
去调查这两只美丽渡渡鸟的奇异生活吗
to investigation the bizarre lives of these magnificent dodos?
我记得年轻的巴拉克·奥巴马曾说过 "我们一定能"
I believe it was a young Barack Obama who said "Uh, yes, we can."
抱歉抱歉抱歉
Ooh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
警长你叫我吗
You want to see me, Sarge?
对我知道这里有点挤
Yeah. I know we're all sort of crammed together in here,
但我们觉得你手下穿制♥服♥的警员们
but we were kind of thinking that your uniformed officers are,
制♥造♥了一些麻烦
uh, causing some problems.
是吗比如什么
Oh? Like what?
我要怎么委婉地表达呢
How do I put this tactfully?
你的警队把厨房♥变成了粪坑
Your squad turned the kitchen into a cesspool,
弄脏了厕所
nastied up the bathroom,
还弄得电梯里像100个臭屁♥股♥的味儿
and made the elevator smell like a hundred butts.
是挺委婉的 Diaz
Okay, thank you for your tact, Diaz.
这么说可不公平
Well, that's unfair.
至少有一半屁♥股♥味儿是你们队的责任
Your squad is responsible for at least 50 of those butts.
听着我只是说你可不可以
Look, all I'm saying is maybe you can ask
让楼下的注意点
the downstairs people to be more...
你说什么
Excuse me?
"楼下的"
"Downstairs people"?
这可有些冒犯啊
That's a little offensive.
别误解我的意思
Oh, don't get it twisted.
你们本来就在楼下啊
It's just where you came from.
我有几个好朋友就是楼下的
Some of my best friends are downstairs people.
好了你肯定知道自己用的是什么语气
Okay, I think you know exactly what that sounds like,
你们这些楼上的
you upstairs people.
谢谢夸奖
Oh, thank you for that nice compliment.
这不是夸奖你别装傻
It wasn't a compliment, and you know it!
没听到我的口气吗
I said it with 'tude.
多么典型的楼下的啊
Classic downstairs person.
看来你对我们一楼有偏见啊
Wow, you are prejudiced against the first floor.
我要去向上级汇报
I'm taking this up the chain.
Gina Linetti 意大利面五彩纸屑
Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti.
Gina Linetti 意大利面五彩纸屑
Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti.
再快点
Faster.