神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E02

Part 3 April 4, 2020, 8:17 p.m.

But, Scully,
- 你有乳糖不耐症 - 是啊
- you're lactose intolerant. - Yeah.
这个房♥间就是个他妈的大焖锅
This whole room is a Dutch oven.
这是什么鬼
What the hell is this?
楼下人士禁止使用!
下层的人
The downstairs people
总是把微波炉弄得一团糟
keep making a mess of the microwave.
甚至还有人觉得直接加热
One of them thought it was cool
敞口盘子装的汤是没问题的
to heat up soup in an uncovered dish.
- 简直太荒唐了 - 你怎么肯定那是我们弄的
- That's just crazy! - How do you know that's our splatter?
楼上也有一些邋遢鬼啊
There are some sloppy Susans upstairs.
我看见他下楼了那是你们的人
I saw it go down. It was one of you,
- 所以你们被禁了 - 不行
- so ya banned. - No way.
这个微波炉是属于整个分局的
This microwave belongs to the entire precinct,
所以我们是无禁
so I'm nah-banned.
事实上原来这个微波炉并不是分局的公有财产
Actually, turns out, this microwave is not precinct property.
早在98年的时候是O'Shea警探从家里带来的所以
Detective O'Shea brought it from home back in '98, so...
你们被禁了
Ya banned.
我拜访了O'Shea的遗孀
I went to visit O'Shea's widow.-
- 他去世了吗 - 很久了
- He's dead? - Big-time.
但她还是没有走出来
She is not over it.
总之我让她签了这份合同
Anyway, I got her to sign a contract
声明楼上人有独家的微波炉使用权
that states the upstairs has exclusive microwave rights.
你用这种破事打扰一个寡妇
You bothered a widow with this?
老实说我没有很尴尬
Honestly, it wasn't that awkward for me.
是Rosa干的
Rosa did it.
很不容易但是她还是签了
It was rough, but she signed it,
所以你们被禁了
so ya banned.
好了现在我们都能呼吸了
Okay, now that we can all breathe,
那么我们再来一遍
let's try this again,
除非你们想把整个纽约都熏臭掉
unless you want to try and stink up the entire city of New York.
接受挑战
Challenge accepted.
行了大家冷静点冷静点
Okay, everyone, be cool! Be cool!
请告诉我归案之后发生的所有事情
Just tell me everything that happened after the bust.
我告诉你发生了什么
I'll tell you what happened.
我们成了大英雄
We were frigging heroes.
谁有垃圾桶吗
Anybody have a trash can?
因为平头和怪胎抓回来个垃圾人♥渣♥
'Cause Flat Top and the Freak are bringing in some garbage.
你们有炫酷的出场台词
You guys had badass entrance lines
人们还给你们鼓掌
and people cheered?
发生了什么到底哪里出差错了
What happened? Where'd it all go wrong?
有些事情我们也搞不清
Some things aren't for us to know.
听着伙计我们从来没有拿过那些钱
Look, guys, we never had that money.
这个我们可以证明给你看
Here. We'll prove it to you.
这是我们的财务记录
Those are our financial records.
我没有退休金
I don't have any retirement.
没有任何证券或者车
I don't have any security, or a car.
我的衣服基本上都是租的
I rent most of my clothes.
我们知道了你们穷
We get it. You're poor.
我不止是穷孩子
I'm not just poor, son.
我是一无所有
I'm destitute.
明显不是适合眨眼的台词啊
Definitely not a wink-able line.
呃看看这些付给"翼之荡♥妇♥"的信♥用♥卡♥账单
Ugh, look at all these credit card charges for Wing Slutz.
在那里吃那么多是不健康的
It can't be healthy to eat there this much.
如果你需要减肥的话
If you want a diet option,
海洋公园附近有蓝芝士芭菲
the Marine Park location has a blue cheese parfait.
你们大老远地去海洋公园就是为了鸡翅吗
You guys go all the way down to Marine Park for wings?
那里有一个女服务员总是会给我们
There's a waitress there who always gives us
在我们的荡♥妇♥桶里多放一个鸡腿
an extra drumstick in our slut bucket.
等等
Wait a minute.
你为什么需要一个月度停车位
Why do you pay for a monthly parking spot?
因为这里是纽约很难找停车位
Because it's New York. It's hard to park.
是啊可他刚刚才说他没有车
Yeah, but he just said he doesn't have a car.
所以停车位里停了什么你不愿让我们知道的东西
So what's parked in this spot you don't want us to know about?
该不会是一个用现金支付的超贵的跑车吧
Could it be a super-expensive sports car, paid for in cash?
不是
Nope.
只是一辆可疑的旧性♥爱♥货车
It's just a sketchy old sex van.
"海狸陷阱(骗炮)"一点不可疑
There is nothing sketchy about the Beaver Trap.
明明就是
Yes, there is.
简单地说 Kelly局长的新方案
In short, Commissioner Kelly's new initiative
是一个落后的错误的倒♥退♥
is a regressive, wrongheaded return
回到纽约警局的黑暗时期
to the NYPD's darkest days.
怎么样
How was that?
就像是看着一具尸体
Like watching a corpse
被冲上海岸了无生气
wash up on shore, lifeless.
真的你得加快点节奏好吗
Come on, you gotta pace it up, okay?
多笑笑
You need to smile more.
让眼睛放光比划点手势
Energize the eyes! Gesticulate!
你这说的显然是个疯子
You're describing the behavior of a crazy person.
是吗因为这会儿
Am I? Because right now,
你可是目不转睛的看着我
you can't take your eyes off me.
哦肯定是摄影组来了
Oh, that must be the camera crew,
来装远端控制器
here to set up the remote.
可是你还没准备好啊
Oh, but you're not ready.
这简直就是<国王的演讲>里的剧情
This is gonna be like "The King's Speech,"
<国王的演讲> 乔治六世克服口吃在二战前发表鼓舞人心的演讲
你是没减重前的国王之类的
before he lost all that weight or whatever.
- 我没看过那电影 - 没事的 Gina
- I haven't seen that movie. - Oh, it's fine, Gina.
我不需要什么小诀窍我手握真♥相♥
I don't need any tricks. I've got the truth,
已经足够用来让我扳倒
and the truth is all I need to bring down...
Kelly局长
Commissioner Kelly!
你好
Hello.
所以 Hitchcock 这秘密的小货车是怎么回事
So, Hitchcock, what's the deal with the secret van?
没啥啊这就是我离婚的时候睡觉的地方
Oh, nothing. It's where I sleep during my divorces.
如果这车够摇摆
If this van's a-rocking,
那我前妻就是把锁
my ex-wife's a-locking...
把我锁在她家门外
me, out of her house.
挺顺嘴
Catchy.
我们这是干什么呢 Jake
What are we doing here, Jake?
我们在这是要找什么啊
What are we even looking for?
甭管什么反正是Hitchcock想瞒着我们藏起来的
Whatever it is that Hitchcock's trying to hide from us.
我倒想他能在这藏住所有东西
I'd imagine he'd be hiding everything in here from us.
- 这车简直是噩梦集♥合♥体 - 我知道
- It's a van of horrors. - Yeah, I know.
我刚看见一桶男士润肤霜
I saw the bucket of male body butter,
还有这位女士不过直觉告诉我
and her. But my gut tells me
这儿有铁证
there's a smoking gun in here.
你简直像希望他俩有罪
It's like you want them to be guilty.
不我就是想知道到底发生过什么
I don't. I just want to know what happened,
不像你你就是不想看到他俩有罪
unlike you,who doesn't want them to be guilty,
甭管真♥相♥什么样
no matter what the truth is.
不能因为我长着心就说我蠢啊
I'm not an idiot just because I have a heart.
得你那颗心可能是真蠢
Well, your heart just might be an idiot,
瞧瞧
because voila
哎呦这味儿不应该来这么一下的
So many smells. Shouldn't have gone for the flourish.
等等这是
Wait, is that...
照片里的第四个包裹
The fourth bag from the picture.
商标一致提手下的痕迹一致并且
Same logo, same stain under the handle, and...
空的他们有罪
It's empty. They're guilty!
不不不不一定的
Nuh-uh. Not necessarily.
我想可能有很好的
I mean, there could be a very good...
妈蛋我们中圈套了
Damn it. We're trapped!
我们被关进"海狸陷阱"了
We're trapped in the Beaver Trap!
咱俩成海狸了
We're the beavers!
咱俩成海狸了
We're the beavers!
动都不动
It won't budge.
我简直不敢相信 Hitchcock和Scully居然能
I can't believe we let Hitchcock and Scully
先发制人制住咱俩
get the drop on us.
就好像我们居然还不如一堆番茄有脑子
It's like being outsmarted by a couple of tomatoes.
我就是颗番茄
I'm the tomato.
他俩这事我猜错了
I was wrong about them,
Dragomir的事儿估计我也错了
and I'm probably wrong about Dragomir.
我心太软了