神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E01

Part 4 April 4, 2020, 8:17 p.m.

<虎胆龙威>里的Bonnie Bedelia吗
Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard?"
Bonnie Bedelia于<虎胆龙威>中饰演女主角Holly Gennaro
- 是啊 - 为了更性致盎然
- I am. - For sexy reasons?
- 没错 - 哦我的天
- Yes. - Oh, boy.
Jake 他为什么在这儿
Jake, why is he here?
因为他要辞职离开警局
Because he's quitting the force,
所以我把他带来劝说他不要这么做
so I brought him to convince him not to,
不过显然这事儿现在不重要了
but obviously that is not important anymore.
好了警监跟你共事很愉快
All right, Captain, it's been a good run.
谢谢你教会我在办公场所打领带的重要性
Thank you for teaching me the importance of a tie in the workplace,
门在那儿走你
and the door is right over here.
哇哦等等什么你要辞职
Whoa, whoa, wait. What? You're quitting?
- 没错 - 不不行
- Yes, I am. - No, you're not.
我们要把你留在这
We're keeping you right here.
你们要怎么着把我绑在这吗
How are you going to do that? Physically restrain me?
好主意
Great idea.
Charles给的噩梦之箱里有没有啥东西
Is there anything in Charles' box of nightmares
能把Holt绑起来
that could be used to tie up Holt?
真的基本上这里面所有东西都能拿来绑人
Yes. Literally everything in here could be used to tie up a person.
Terry 你把Holt警监的电脑重新拼了拼
Wow, Terry, put Captain Holt's computer back together?
- 看起来不错 - 当然
- Looks great. - Sure did.
不过没找到这玩意应该放在哪儿
Couldn't find room inside for this stuff, though.
行吧有没有可能他电脑里的信息
Well, is there any chance the info on in computer
或许保存在云端了
was maybe saved to the cloud?
不知道
I don't know.
Gina Holt警监把硬盘里的东西在云端备份了吗
Gina, was Captain Holt's hard drive backed up to the cloud?
嗯
Yeah.
那你为啥让我重组他电脑
Then why did you let me try to rebuild his computer?
因为我是个小淘气啊
Because I'm a rascal.
行那我现在就用Holt警监的用户名登陆
Okay, so I just log onto the cloud as Captain Holt
然后点击"忘记密♥码♥"
and click "Forgot password"
然后回答他的安全问题
and answer his security questions.
第一个神为何物
First up: What is God?
嘿 Gina
Hey, Gina.
你昨晚看<比弗利娇妻>了吗
Did you see "Real Housewives" Last night?
她要是说没看再问问<甲板之下>
If she says no, then ask about "Below Deck."
你干啥呢
What are you doing?
她开始怀疑了 Scully 表现的自然点
She's getting suspicious, Scully. Act natural.
你带着耳机吗
Are you wearing an earpiece?
跟她说没带 Scully 不要再重复我说的话了
Tell her no. Scully, stop saying what I'm saying.
正常点
Be normal.
Charles 你干什么呢
Charles, what are you doing?
妈的 Gina
Damn it, Gina.
我看起来像在干什么
What does it look like I'm doing?
我在尝试带着你的人脸面具解锁你的手♥机♥
I'm trying to unlock your phone using a mask of your face
这样我就能知道为什么你妈妈离开我爸了
so I can find out why your mom left my dad.
Charles 把手♥机♥还我
Charles, give me my phone.
行吧给
Okay, fine.
- 哈哈解锁了 - 把手♥机♥还我 Charles
- Boom, unlocked it. - Give me my phone, Charles.
除非我扒出为什么爸妈要离婚
Not until I find out or parents are breaking up.
- 别闹了 - 滑呀滑
- Give it. - Scrolling, scrolling.
- 把手♥机♥还我蠢货 - 是你干的
- Give me my phone, you idiot. - You were the reason.
你给她发了条消息 "你应该跟他离婚"
You sent her a text that says, "You should divorce him"?
我是发了但是这话不见得就是这个意思啊
Okay, yeah, but that's open to interpretation.
不但是她回你"我不想"
No, but then she says, "I don't want to,"
然后你回"你必须要离"
and then you say,"But you have to.
"立刻离开他离婚"
"Leave him now, and divorce him."
"别告诉他原因"
"Don't tell him why."
行吧你解读的挺到位的
Okay, yeah, you did interpret it correctly.
丢人丢人
Shame, shame.
抱歉啊我把Holt带回这了
I'm so sorry I brought Holt back here.
我不知道你在准备这套"虎胆龙威"
I had no idea you were doing this whole "Die Hard" Thing.
我天你这发型简直精准
Man, you really got the hair exactly right.
你联♥系♥了片场的发型设计师Paul Abascal吗
Did you contact the onset hair stylist, Paul Abascal?
不是这是假发
No, this is a wig.
那也好棒啊这会儿我是这么想的
Oh, that's cool too. So here's what I'm thinking.
我们放Holt走然后我来跟更火♥辣♥版本的Holly Gennaro做♥爱♥
We let Holt go, I have sex with Holly Gennaro but hotter.
让队里的人解决警监的事或者解散都无所谓
The squad handles the captain, or disbands, whatever,
然后我们再做一波
we have sex again...
行了不要瞎想了我们得专心点
Okay, stop suggesting that. We need to stay focused.
- 哦对 - Holt现在很脆弱
- Right. - Holt it fragile.
我们要温柔些好吗
We need to be gentle, okay?
- 听我指挥 - 心甘情愿
- Just follow my lead. - With pleasure.
乐意至极抱歉
I love the view. I'm sorry.
这衣服简直要逼疯我
This outfit is driving me insane.
警监再次为把你大字形绑在床上道歉
Hello, sir. Sorry again for tying you spread eagle on the bed
不接受
Apology not accepted.
我知道你很沮丧但是
Look, I know you're upset, but
这不是最后一次你竞选局长的机会呀
this isn't your last chance to become commissioner.
John Kelly老了
John Kelly's old.
他不会一直坐那个位子
He's not gonna be in office forever.
没错但是他的继任者会是另一个平庸的白人老男人
True, but he'll just be replaced by another mediocre old white man.
什么都不会变
Nothing will ever change.
行吧那
All right, well,
想想你想在99警区完成的事呢
what about all your goals for the Nine-Nine?
你还有好多没有做完的事
You still have so much left to accomplish.
错了基本上我想做的
Wrong, I've accomplished everything
都完成的差不多了
that I set out to do..
我想降低犯罪率我做到了
I wanted to reduce crime, and I did.
布鲁克林已经没有人犯罪了
There's no crime in Brooklyn anymore.
吹的有点过了
Seems like a bit of a stretch.
那改善警民关系的事呢
What about improving community relations?
完成了人人都爱警♥察♥现在
Done. Everyone loves the police.
尴了个尬的
It's embarrassing.
离谱了行了 Ame 让开我来
Way off. All right, Ame, step aside; I got this.
警监那万圣节争夺战怎么办
Captain, what about the Halloween Heist?
我会直接进去赢然后回家
I'll just come in and win it and then go back to my house.
- 完了我输了 - Jake
- Damn it. I'm out. - Jake.
好了长官你知道我为什么爱上班吗
All right, fine, sir, do you know why I love coming to work?
因为休息室里有个台球桌
Because there's a bumper pool table in the break room.
没错显然我非常喜欢那个台球桌
Yes, obviously I love the bumper pool table.
但是你想知道另一个原因吗
But do you want to know another reason why?
因为你
You.
你让我变成了更好的警♥察♥
You've made me a better cop.
你让我变成了更好的人
You've made me a better person.
我从你身上学到了那么多
I've learned so much from you.
你不能离开
So you can't quit.
因为我需要你
Because I need you.
- 得了吧太自私了 - 什么
- Oh, please. How selfish. - What?
你刚才那一通小演讲
That little speech you just gave.
全是关于你自己和你想要什么
It was all about you and what you need.
不可思议的自私
How unbelievably selfish.
行吧我现在不想发脾气
Okay, well, I don't want to get mad right now,
因为Amys很担心你
'cause Amys worried about you, so...
不不不去他的吧
No, screw that noise.
你怎么能说Jake自私
How dare you call Jake selfish?
他浪费了整个蜜月
He just wasted his entire honeymoon
就是想照顾好你
trying to take care of you
而你像个小屁孩一样自怨自艾
while you wallowed in your misery like a little baby.
- 有点狠呀 - 是吗
- That seems a little harsh. - Oh, does it?
- 老娘不在乎 - 哎呦我去
- I don't give a hoot. - Oh, damn.
过去的五年里我一直一直
For the last five years, all I've done is
介乎着你介乎你怎么想的
give a hoot about you and what you think.
我把你当成老板介乎
I gave a hoot about you as a boss.
我把你当成导师介乎
I gave a hoot about you as a mentor.
我把你当作朋友介乎
I gave a hoot about you as a friend.
她介乎的真挺多的
She gave so many hoots.
不会了就你刚刚那个表现
Not anymore. After the way you've acted
还有你跟Jake说的话
and what you just said to Jake,
老娘不关心你想什么了
I don't give a hoot, what you think,
你爱辞职不辞职我也无所谓辞吧