神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E16

Part 3 April 4, 2020, 8:20 p.m.

until Earl slept with my wife.
她想要和种马上♥床♥而不是和哑弹上♥床♥ 这又不是我的错
It's not my fault she wanted to have sex with a stud instead of a dud.
什么种马你的脸看起来像被马踢了
Stud? Your face looks it's been kicked in by a horse!
是吗你的嘴长得像个屁♥眼♥
Well, your mouth looks like a butthole!
你全身长得都像屁♥眼♥
Your whole body looks like a butthole.
而你们长得一模一样
And you look identical.
我们该帮Scully吗
Should we help Scully?
我可不想碰这一摊
I'm not touching this.
你跑不了 Earl
There's nowhere to run, Earl!
这可真是让人颠覆认知的一出好戏
Well, that was a real mind eff.
- 再见 - 告诉你们一声
- Good-bye. - Just so you know,
手环在Jake的口袋里
Jake has the bracelet in his pocket.
你为什么要告诉他们我们是一队的
Why would you tell them that? We're a team!
你把我锁了起来
You locked me up.
的确但他们不知道啊
Yeah, but they didn't know that!
他口袋里没有手环
There's no bracelet in his pocket!
什么不应该啊
What? There should be.
它去哪了
Where'd it go?
- (希伯来语)您好啊搭档 - 牛逼
- Shalom, partner. - Dope.
你还觉得Shlomo Ben-Yisrael不能成功完成任务
And you thought Shlomo Ben-Yisrael wouldn't come through.
不我说的是这个名字和戏服会冒犯到别人
No, I said the name and the costume were offensive,
在法律的边缘试探
bordering on actionable.
不管怎样这成功了
Well, it worked.
Jake把Scully的孪生兄弟带来
Jake brought in Scully's twin
正如我在脸书上给他们牵线搭桥时设想的那样
just like I planned when I connected them on Facebook,
但他完全不知道他们互相憎恨
but he had no idea they hated each other.
结果当所有人都打得不可开交时
And when everyone was fighting,
根本没人注意到老Shlomo
they were too distracted to notice old Shlomo.
他们都低估了我 Rosa
They all underestimated me, Rosa,
但今天他们会为这一错误付出代价
but today, they will learn the error of their ways,
因为在今天
for today,
我要证明Charles Boyle是无可匹敌的
I will prove that nobody gets the best of Charles Boyle.
我之前把你的胡子泡在麻醉剂里了
I doused your beard in chloroform.
是吗我可不怎么相
Really? I find that very hard to beli--
注意：重物
- 要寄到哪 - 寄到特伦顿去
- Where's this goin'? - All the way to Trenton.
慢慢来
Take your time.
啊完美
Aah, perfect.
啥发生了什么
What? What happened?
- 你知道手环在哪了吗 - 不
- You know where the bracelet is? - No.
Kevin带来了我是唯一抢夺战两连胜的证据
Kevin has arrived with proof that I am the only two-time winner of the heist.
这是你的金腰带 Raymond
Here's your cummerbund, Raymond.
我们没时间了长官
We don't have time for this, sir!
我去搜查一楼
I'm gonna go search the first floor.
那我去搜查二楼
And I will search the second floor.
我们是形影不离的队友
We are an inseparable team.
那是个邪恶的小谎言
That was a devious fib.
就连我们说话的时候我都在背叛她
I'm betraying her even as we speak.
- 嘿 Kev - Diaz和我在偷偷合作
- Hey, Kev. - Diaz and I are covertly working together.
她从通风管潜行过来的
She snuck up through the vents.
这是个重大反转
This is a major reveal.
我感觉你并没有领略到它的意义
I feel like you're not appreciating it.
我不喜欢这些抢夺战
I don't like these heists,
或者说它们让你展现的样子
or what they bring out in you.
- 噢憋说了 Kevin - "憋说了"
- Oh, clam it, Kevin. - "Clam it"?
Cheddar 或许我们该走了
Cheddar, perhaps we should leave.
不行 Cheddar得留下来
No, Cheddar stays.
他扮演着重要的角色
He still has an important role to play.
把猫头鹰先生给我
Give me Mr. Hootsworth.
没有人会想到
No one would ever think of
去Cheddar心爱的咀嚼玩具里找手环
looking for the bracelet in Cheddar's favorite chew toy.
或者说你的意思是 Jake心爱的咀嚼玩具
Or do you mean Jake's favorite chew toy?
感谢老天爷附近没人听到我说了什么
Well, thank God no one was around to hear that.
啊你在这儿啊我到处找你
Ah! There you are. I've been looking all over.
哇这可是一大堆蛋黄
Woah. That's a lot of yolks.
你又在压力性进食吗
Are you stress eating again
还是说这只是常规的Terry小零食
or is this just a small Terry snack?
我这是压力性进食 Jake
I'm stress eating, Jake!
我的零食蛋黄在那个碗里
My snack yolks are in that bowl.
哦别吃鸡蛋了
Oh. Well, stop eating eggs
快来帮我一起抢夺战
and come help me with the heist!
- 我拒绝 - 为什么
- I'm not helping you. - Why not?
呃是因为我之前背叛了你吗
Ugh, is this because I once betrayed you?
是的那是我们最后一次交流
Yes! It was our last interaction.
并且是个巨大的错误
And it was a huge mistake
我现在明白了我们的友谊
and I now realize that our friendship
比那个愚蠢的横幅更珍贵
is way more important than any stupid banner.
听着手环在Cheddar的咀嚼玩具里
Look, the bracelet is in Cheddar's chew toy.
我知道因为我在Holt的冠军腹带上装了窃听器
I know because I bugged Holt's cummerbund.
- 真的吗 - 真的
- You did? - Yes!
我料到他会带过来炫耀
I figured he would bring it in to show off.
咱们赶紧下手吧
Now let's do this!
我不太确定
I don't know.
听着警长我诚心向你道歉
Look, Sarge, I'm sorry, okay?
我没法纠正过去但是说真的
I can't undo the past, but come on.
你宁愿和我一起赢得抢夺战
Would you rather win the heist with me
还是坐在这里吞鸡蛋
or sit around swallowing eggs
像超级马里奥2里面的Birdo
like Birdo from "Super Mario 2"?
Birdo不吃蛋 Birdo吐蛋
Birdo doesn't eat eggs. Birdo spits them!
天啊你居然懂这个梗 Terry
Oh, my God, you got that reference, Terry?
我们简直就是最佳拍档
We're the perfect team!
来吧警长求你了
Come on, Sarge, please?
- 行吧我帮你 - 啊太棒了
- Fine, I'll help. - Ah! Wonderful.
但是在你完全投入之前
But, before you fully commit,
我得先警告你
I should probably give you the heads-up.
我的计划非常复杂
My plan is very elaborate
你可能会搞得很脏
and you might get a little messy.
我加入了这可是抢夺战
I'm in. It's the heist, baby!
现在说说我们要怎么搞到那个咀嚼玩具
Now let me know how we get that chew toy.
好的听好了
All right! Okay.
首先我会潜入Holt的办公室
First, I infiltrate Holt's office
继续和他争论去年抢夺战的胜者是谁
and continue our argument about who won last year's heist.
你手上现在有几条冠军腹带零条
How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero!
我手握腹带你一无所有快告诉他 Kevin
It's one bund to none, son! Tell him, Kevin.
- 我走了 - 无关紧要
- I'm leaving. - It doesn't matter--
我一边和Holt争吵
As Holt argues with me
一边偷偷地往Cheddar的碗里放更多的水
I will be covertly releasing more water into Cheddar's bowl.
然后我们就坐等
Then we sit back and wait for...
又要上厕所
Potty time again?
- 万一他把狗带到楼下呢 - 他不会的
- What if he takes him downstairs? - He won't.
我花了很长时间在Holt的电脑上进行秘密定向搜索
I spent a lot of time making clandestine searches on Holt's computer.
现在他所有的定向广♥告♥都是
Now all of his targeted ads direct him straight to...
狗狗尿尿垫有趣
The Puppy PeePee Pad. Intriguing.
他买♥♥了一个放在露台上
He bought one and put it out on the roof
就在Gina的金雕像旁边
next to Gina's golden statue.
接着因为他相信Cheddar上厕所时应该不受打扰
And, because he believes that Cheddar deserves to pee in privacy
像其他有自尊心的成年人一样
like any other self-respecting adult,
他会让Cheddar独自解决生理问题
he will leave Cheddar outside alone to do his business.
完事了通知我汪一声
Notify me when you're done, via bark.
趁Holt守着门口
While Holt guards the door,
你就把猫头鹰先生调包
you'll be swapping out Mr. Hootsworth
用这个
for this.
这听起来都挺不错
That all sounds great,
但我要怎么上露台不让Holt发现
but how do I get onto the roof without Holt noticing?
哦警长你早就在露台上了
Oh, Sarge. You'll already be out there...
穿着完美的金色伪装
In a perfect golden disguise.
计划成功我拿到手了
The plan worked! I got it!
哦我的天你看起来就像一座奥卡斯小金人
Oh my God, you look like an Oscar.
我们得合个影
Ooh! We should take a picture
我假装把你捧在手里
where it looks like I'm holding you.
- Jake - 对的时间不够待会儿再拍
- Jake. -You're right. There's no time. We'll do it later.