工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S04E13
Part 1
June 29, 2021, 8:48 a.m.
欢迎来到Ders独家美国角斗大赛
Welcome to American Gladiate-Ders!
挑战者 你将有两分钟来完成
Contestant, you will have two minutes to finish
障碍闯关 并且注意别被Blake打中
the obstacle course without getting shot down by Blake.
其实我在角斗届的称号♥是"斩伯拉罕林肯"
Actually, uh, my gladiator name is "Slaybraham Lincoln."
你穿的是我的泳裤吗 - 对
Are you wearing my jammers? - Oh, yeah.
希望你不介意
Hope you don't mind.
我稍微改了一下 改紧了一点
I pimp-my-rided them and kind of souped 'em up.
过分啊 好了 Adam
Not cool. So Adam,
你从这个弹弓开始
you will begin with the slingshot,
它把你推送过桌子 到达第一关
which will propel you over the table to station one.
第二关 就是健身脚踏车那
At station two, where the stationary bike is,
你将 那儿有三个东西 你懂的
you'll... there's three things... Whatever.
然后通过三四五六七关
Go to three, four, five, six, seven,
最后你将到达毁灭之门
and you will end the course at the doors of destruction,
我会藏在其中一个门后面
one of which I'll be hiding behind
等着给你一顿胖揍 听到了吗
to put you on your ass, boy!
角斗士准备好
Gladiator ready!
准备好了 - 挑战者准备好
Ready! - Contestant ready!
其实我没怎么听你刚刚说了啥
I actually didn't hear a lot of what you just said,
不过准备好见证行动上的巨人吧
but get ready to see a man of action!
预备 开始
And ready, go!
呃啊 - 打中他 打 打到你了
Oh! - Got him! Got... got you!
你挂了 结束了 - 打到你了
No, you're out, that's it. - Got you, got you!
不 这不算数
No, that doesn't count.
不 这当然算数
No, yeah, that counted, for sure.
你出局了 这就是规矩
You're out. Those are the rules.
唔 我想我刚刚立了新规矩
Mm, I think I just found some new rules.
现在开始 出发
Starting now. Go!
啥玩意
What...
你可是出局了啊 哥们
You're out, though, dude!
噢 自食恶果吧
Ooh, pay the piper!
步骤错误 - 你居然跳过关卡
It's a faulty course! - You're skipping stations.
噢 - 现在你又死了
Ow! - Now you're dead again.
你死两回了
You're double dead.
噢 - 打中了
Ow! - Got him!
好吧不算 第二条命走起
Okay, that doesn't... Second life!
现在我又复活了
I've got a second life now.
Ders 他乱来啊
Ders! He's cheating!
够了 噢嗨 - 看我的 Dersey
Okay. Oh, hey. - I'm coming, Dersey!
他早出局了 那
He's disqualified, so...
谢啦 哥们 我们的租约拿到手了
Thank you. Hey, guys, we got our lease.
我们都住在一起七年了
You know we've been living together seven years?
你们知道这意味着什么吗
You know what that means?
算是事实婚姻了啊
We're common law married!
我们是夫夫了 - 在一起
We're married! - Married!
好啦
Okay.
叉勺应该摆右边 Blake
On the right side is where the sporks go, Blake.
右边 噢 我居然放左边去了
The right. See, I did the left.
Adam 在我们给租约签字的时候
And, Adam, if you wouldn't mind pouring some champagne
不介意的话麻烦倒一下香槟
for when we all sign the lease together.
乐意之极 我的好兄弟好丈夫
I would love to, my dude husband.
哇哦 七年了
Oh, wow, seven years. Wow!
我是说 这真是 - 哥们儿我超爱欢香槟
I mean, it's... - Dude, I love champagne.
太疯狂了 - 哇哦
Crazy. - Whoo!
哦 我说 - 啊
Oh, hey, oh! - Aah!
我去你干什么呢 - 庆祝吧
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? - Celebration!
你应该把香槟留到
Dude, we're supposed to save that
我们一起签约的时候再打开 快停下
for when we sign the lease together! Stop it!
好吧 我还指望这是一顿极好的晚餐
Yeah, this was supposed to be a nice dinner, I thought.
我正过着癫狂的人生
I'm living a loco life!
来兄弟们 咱喝个酩酊大醉 来吗
Come on, guys. Let's get shmacked, right?
我们现在是结了婚的兄弟
We're married dudes.
结婚的兄弟才不会变成疯子
Married dudes don't get loco.
他们都乖乖吃晚餐好吗
They have civilized dinners together, duh!
我才不管 我更喜欢自己的方式
Mm, I don't know. I like my way a little better.
行了 听着 大家放轻松好吗
All right, look, everybody relax, all right?
因为我准备了 - 我很放松啊
Because I have... - I'm relaxed!
我准备了新婚礼物
I have wedding gifts.
嗯 好啊 - 好嘞
Yeah, okay, sure. - Yeah.
Ders先给你 告诉我你觉得怎样
Ders, you're first up, and tell me how you like it.
这是我的耳机吧
I think those are my headphones.
为什么它贴满了
Why are they covered with...
呃 这是各种各样的贝壳
With... well, they're shells and various, uh,
它们来自大海 因为 - 嗯哼
things from the sea because... - Uh-huh.
我知道他多么喜欢水
Well, I know how much he likes water.
Blake 我不想听大海的声音
Blake, I don't want to hear the ocean.
我想听Robert Kelly 想听Ne-Yo
I want to hear Robert Kelly. I want to hear Ne-Yo.
我想听亚瑟小子
I want to hear Usher!
老子才不想听大海的声音 天呐
I don't want to hear the ocean! Jesus.
哇 他的音乐品味可真差
Wow, he has horrible taste in music.
喔 没关系
Oh, it doesn't matter.
这还不是最好的礼物
This wasn't even the best gift.
最棒的准备给你 因为你是我的最爱
I made you the best gift 'cause you're my favorite.
我先闭上眼睛
I'm gonna close my eyes.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
你毁了我的牛逼拳击腰带
You ruined my weight belt.
你把它给毁了 - 呃这个嘛
You destroyed it. - Uh, well...
你把通心粉粘到上面 然后你还写上
You glued macaroni on it, and then you put
你爱我的菊花 - 不是的
you love my butthole? - No.
"Blake最爱的紧致菊花"是我的菊花
"Blake's favorite tight butthole" Is my butthole.
你知道 这东西现在网上挺流行的
You know, it's kind of big on the Internet right now.
这叫改造艺术 于是乎
It's called "Reclaimed art," So...
于是你这么干了
So you claim.
于是乎我这么干了没错 - 好极了
So I claim, very good. - Yeah.
我可没见你拿出什么礼物
Well, I don't see you giving any gifts.
老子这就给你 - 噢 Ders
Here's my gift to you. - Ooh, ooh, Ders!
快来啊 - 这就是我的礼物
You might want to get in here. - Here's my gift to you.
小天才要给我们表演了
We have some performance art from the genius.
今晚我一定得一醉方休
I'm gonna get so shmacked tonight,
然后我们就能
and that usually correlates into us having
再一次嗨到生命最高点
one of the best time of our lifetime times,
就像上次和7M3乐队
like that time that we partied
一起疯的那个派对 - 才不是
with Seven Mary Three... - It wasn't...
都归功于我和我的派对风格
And that was all because of me and my partying ways!
行了 - 够了
Okay. - All right.
好好好 先把事情放一边
All right, all right. Let's put it aside.
我可以 可以既往不咎
I can... I can forget everything.
现在我看到肯德基了 好激动啊
Now that I'm seeing the KFC, I'm getting excited.
噢 该死的啃的鸡啊亲爱的
Oh! Kentucky freaking chicken, baby!
哇哦 - 好的那我不追究了
Whoa, whoa. - That's good, okay, I'm back.
不追究了 - 嘿很抱歉
Now I'm back. - Hey, sorry about that.
先别激动 咱们没有盘子了
Let's dial it back. We're out of dishes.
这不是肯德基 我只是用这纸盒来装晚餐而已
This isn't KFC, I just used the boxes and the buckets.
呃 这是挪威料理
Uh, this is Norwegian food.
肉丸子 我们还有
Kjottkaker, and then we've got
鱼汤 当然了还有鳕鱼舌头
fiskesuppe, and of course the cod tongue.
什么 这是不是在录<疯狂太婆秀>
Wha... what? Am I on Off Their Rockers?
Betty White个老娘们是不是要出场了
Is Betty White gonna walk her old ass in here?
这是什么 - 好了
What is this? - Okay.
我不吃任何瑞典鱼类
I'm not gonna eat any Swedish fish
除非是真的来自瑞典
unless it's actual Swedish fish,
就那种能在便利店能买♥♥到的
the kind that you get in the bag at the grocery store
很好吃 还有点黏黏的那种
that's delicious, a little gummy treat.
第五百次强调 我是挪威籍
For the 500th time, I'm Norwegian.
这是挪威菜 - 好吧
This is Norwegian food. - Okay.
根本不一样
It's totally different.
那我就第一次强调
For the first time,
如果不是真的肯德基 你就别拿肯德基的盒子装
you shouldn't bring in KFC unless it's actual KFC,
不是这种 - 没错
not this... - Yep.
他妈的猪食
pig slop!
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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