工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S07E01

Part 1 June 29, 2021, 9:08 a.m.

好啊老古董
Hey, old-timer.
忘了什么东西
Forget something?
哦你忘了订书针
Ohh, you forgot the staples.
我们真是办公室的整蛊之王对吧
Oh, we truly are the main office pranksters, aren't we?
这做得还真出色
This turned out amazing.
你是个天才 Bill
You're a genius, Bill.
为什么切不掉了
Why isn't this cutting?
哦不要
Oh, no.
怎么了 Bill
Uh, what's the matter, Bill?
谁把切纸器刀片弄钝了么
Did someone dull the paper cutter?
这特么的是什么
What the hell is this?
你在说什么
Uh, what do you mean?
这是个咖啡壶里面难道不是咖啡么
It's a coffee pot. Is that not coffee in there?
天啊里面不是咖啡
Oh, is there not coffee?
Ders 你指的其实是碳酸饮料壶吧
Actually, Ders, don't you mean flat Dr. Pepper pot?
因为我们把碳酸饮料换进咖啡壶里了
Because we put flat Dr. Pepper in a coffee pot and switched it.
整到你们了
We pwn'd you!
这一点都不好笑
Y'all ain't funny.
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
哦我的天我喘不过气了
Oh, my God. I can't breathe.
我喘不过气了我要笑死了
I can't breathe. It's too funny.
这恶作剧真绝了我喘不上气了
Oh, it's too good of a prank. I can't breathe.
不 Adam 这根本没法比
No, Adam. It's not even a contest.
那只猴子会把Rock的老二咬掉
The monkey would bite the Rock's dick off.
万一他带了防咬口罩呢
What if he wore a muzzle?
什么在他老二上
Wait, on his dick?
不啊戴脸上啊
No, on his face.
口罩不过这还真是个好主意老二口罩
Muzzle... although that's a good idea, muzzle on your dick.
我都想来一个试试
I want to wear one on mine.
好吧不过你现在把话题完全
Okay, wait, you've completely changed the question
带偏了
at this point.
对我们根本没在聊这个
Yeah, that's not what we're talking about.
这是什么
What is this?
好的现在我们看到第三页的最上面
Okay, now I'm looking at the top of page three:
"上班期间不允许穿无袖上衣
"Unapproved attire includes halter tops,
吊带紧身裤"
shirts with spaghetti straps, biker shorts..."
怪不得这个办公室糟透了
No wonder this office sucks.
Bill招了这么一群老古板进来
I mean, we've got Bill hiring all these old fogies.
我觉得这个地方可以像科切拉音乐节那样
Mm-hmm, I mean, this place could be like... like Coachella.
哦棒呆了 - 对吧
Oh, that would be sick. - Right?
漂亮年轻的妞儿戴着
Like, sexy young thangs wearing, like,
有点儿种族歧视的印第安头饰
kind of racist Indian headdresses
非常种族歧视 - 对吧
Really racist. - You know?
对它们是种族歧视但看起来性感啊
Yes, they're racist, but they look hot.
如果看起来性感的话还属于种族歧视吗这才是问题
Is it racist if it's hot? That's the question.
如果我们招点儿新潮的年轻人来呢
What if we had some hip youngsters in here, you know?
我们可以聊聊网上疯传的视频或者
We could, like, talk about viral videos or, like,
流行趋势或者一起追到<卡戴珊家族>的最新一集
fashion trends or, like, totally be kept up with the Kardashians,
我一直想追一下这个节目的
which I've been wanting to get kept up on.
总而言之我们才应该管理这些实
All I'm saying is, we should be the ones running the train...
实习生实习生们
trainee... trainee's...
哦我从来没见过这个单词
oh, I've never seen that word before.
真是个奇怪的词
That is a weird word.
迎新贝果狂欢会
New Employees Bagel Bash.
这是我在我的迎新会上
Here's me at mine.
好了谢谢你了 Bill
Okay, thank you, Bill.
接下来就交给我们了好吧
We will take it from here, all right?
嘿我名叫Adam 销♥售♥之王
Hey, my name is Adam, the top sales dog,
反正至少排名是很高的姓DeMamp
or at least pretty high up there, DeMamp,
这些是我的同事
and these are my associates.
好啊我是Blake 你们可能在想
Howdy, I'm Blake, and you are probably thinking,
"这是怎么一回事"
"What is going on here?"
这儿不再是你们
Well, this ain't your
外公的指导会了
granddaddy's orientation anymore.
对不是了 - 你们在干嘛
No, it's not. - What are you doing?
Alice说过我可以做这个的
Alice said I could do this.
Alice说你的工作做得一团糟 Bill
Alice said that you were really bad at your job, Bill,
所以你停职一周立即回家
and that you're suspended for a week and you should go home now
更不要告诉她
and not even talk to her about it.
我现在不能回家
I can't go home now.
我室友整天都在教一群七岁大的小屁孩
My roommate gives tap-dancing lessons to
跳踢踏舞
seven-year-old fart boxes all day.
真糟心
This sucks! Ahh!
好了别出丑了 Bill
Okay, you're embarrassing yourself, Bill.
哦好的可以吧 - 太大声了吧
Oh, okay, all right. - That was loud.
上帝啊 - 这让我很没安全感
Jeez. - I didn't feel safe, you know?
吓坏我了 - 对的
It was scary. - Yeah, yeah.
他应该去教教七岁的孩子如何咆哮
He should go give screaming lessons to seven-year-olds.
我不我不喜欢这个我也不喜欢那个
I didn't... I didn't like that. I didn't like that either.
好了就剩我们了大家都随意点吧
And now it's just us, guys. Let's get comfortable.
不如你们先拿出你们的索引卡片
Why don't we pull out the index card
就在你们的小册子里
in your pamphlet there, okay?
再拿一支笔或者粗马克笔然后在卡片上写下你的年龄
Take a pen or a thick marker and write your age on that card
然后好好地举高高让我们看见
and hold it up nice and high so we can see.
做得好
Great call. Uh-oh.
喔那个说他40多算了吧
Wow, that once says four. Yikes.
40多 40多一对儿40多
Four, four, a couple fours.
哦我喜欢那三个20多的
Oh, I like these three right there with the twos.
你还有你
Yes, and yes.
绝对不行你给我坐下
Absolutely not. Sit your ass down.
因为你的年龄是以3开头的
Because you have a three as your first letter in your number.
35了啊 - 不了
Ew, 35? - Mm-mm.
这真的不太好
Yeah, that's really bad.
好了既然我的朋友Adam点到你们了
Okay, so if my friend Adam here pointed to you,
为何不上来给我们介绍一下你自己
why don't you come on up, tell us a little bit about yourself,
你怎么这么正
what makes you tick.
哟好啊敬礼 Dab
Yo, what's up? Salute. Dab.
好啊伙计们我叫Colt
What's up, guys? My name's Colt.
22 年轻健康黑人最近很喜欢培根
22, young, fit, black, kind of into bacon lately.
很和我胃口
It's my thing.
好了 - 好的就这样
All right. - All right, like that.
我叫Leila 我希望我是个黑人
Suh. I'm Leila, wish I was black,
喜欢一切培根
and all bacon e'rythang.
好的
Sure.
我叫Mykyl 两个y
I'm Mykyl with two Ys.
白人但是真心地说我就是个种族色盲
I'm white, but sensitively, I am racially colorblind.
那很棒
That's tight.
我是个素食主义者当然培根还是不能舍弃
I... I'm a vegan, except for bacon, of course.
好了已经介绍完他们了现在该你们了
Well, now that they said their part, now is your part.
请你立刻起身然后离开你们被开除了我很抱歉
Please get up and leave. You're fired. I'm sorry.
你们被开除了 - 对我们不招人了
You are fired. - Yeah, we're good.
再见啦我很抱歉
Bye-bye. Bye. Sorry about that.
走这边 - 好的
This way. - Yep.
你们这是公然的年龄歧视
This is blatant ageism.
你可能太老了都没法理解我们的意思
You might be too old to understand what we were saying.
我是说你被开除了因为你太老了可以了吗
I'm saying you're fired, 'cause you're too old, okay?
再见 - 操你
Buh-bye. - Beep you.
哦 - 这种老年人你觉得怎样
Oh. - How's that for old?
哦好的 - 哦好吧
Oh, okay. - Oh, okay.
不过我挺喜欢她的套装
I liked her suit, though.
等一下 - 哦
Wait a second. - Ohh.
哇哦
Wow.
伙计们伙计们
Guys, guys, guys.
你的卡片上写了什么
What does your card say there?
69.
这是你的真实年龄吗
Is that your actual age?
是的
Yes.
你在逗我吗我还从没见过呢
Are you kidding me? I've never met one.
我也没见过 - 这真是太疯狂了
I've never met one. - Yeah, it's crazy.
所以你知道69什么意思吗
So, like, do you know what, like, 69, like means?
那个性术语