工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E01
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:23 p.m.
好样的 宝贝 - 好的
Yeah, baby! - Yes.
加把劲
Come on now.
没用 一群没用的家伙
Clunker. Clunkville.
已经扔45分钟了 - 对啊
It's going on 45 minutes, guys. - Yeah.
拜托谁进一个
Someone make a shot, please.
哟 伙计 - 嘿 Ders
Yo, dude. - Hey, Ders.
谁脸能缩的比较小
Who can make a smaller face?
Adam赢 - 谢谢
Adam. - Thank you.
没错儿 - 这没啥好骄傲的
That's right, dude. - That's nothing to be proud of.
你输我一两块钱
You owe me a buck or two for that.
有件重要的事儿
On to more important things.
你们知道色情短♥信♥是啥吗
Do you guys know what sexting is?
听过 色情短♥信♥嘛 当然
Yeah, I heard of that. Sexting, for sure.
好的 我好像
Okay, cool, 'cause I think.
我有点陷太深了 - 真的啊
I just got super deep into it. - Really?
显然 我昨晚
Well, apparently, I met
碰到一个叫Annette的女生
some girl named Annette last night.
我喝高了
I was pretty drunk,
所以不太记得她
so I don't really remember her,
但是她一早上都在给我发色情短♥信♥
but she's been sexting me all morning.
她发"昨晚你咋了
So she goes, "What happened to you last night?
你抛下我就走了"
You bailed on me."
这不太是你作风啊
Oh, that's not like you, dude.
对啊 - 嗯
I know. - No.
然后我回"抱歉 你现在干嘛呢"
So I go, "Sorry. What are you doing now?"
她回"没干嘛"
She says, "Nothing."
然后我发"我们这开派对呢
So I go, "Well, we're having a shindig.
"过来玩啊" - 嗯
You ought to come by." - Yeah.
然后她回"我想想看吧
She goes, "I'll think about it.
与此同时 你可以想想这个"
In the meantime, you can think about this."
奶头 奶头照
Nipple. Nipple shot.
这奶头长的真不错 兄弟
That is a good-looking nipple, bro.
好奶头 真有你的
Totally a nipple. Great job.
我幻想中的奶头
That's the nipple of my dreams.
赶紧把她弄过来呀
Why don't you get her over here, man?
发张你的屌♥照
Send her a pic of your dick.
那个 她只是发了张奶头照而已
Okay. Um, she just sent me a picture of her nipple,
我不确定...
so I'm not sure...
顺序就是这样的好嘛
Well, that's the order of things.
奶头 屌♥ [哔]菊
It goes nipple, dick, , butt hole.
好吧 行 我是说
Oh, okay, all right, well, I mean,
我还没干过这种事 慢着 谁的菊
I've never done... wait, whose butt hole?
我"日界线"上看到的啦
Dude, I saw it on dateline.
下♥体♥赶紧充盈起来
Why don't you get some blood in that sucker?
搞定这票 - 赶紧的
Seal the deal. - Come on, man.
搞定这票 兄弟
Seal the deal, dude.
好吧 我去
All right, I'll do it.
快去 - 我去搞定这票
Go handle that. - I'm gonna seal the deal.
帽子摘了
Get rid of that hat.
魅力全开
Gq time. Gq time.
伙计们 现在是魅力全开时间
Everybody, time to get gq time.
你要操那个姑娘了吗 Anders
Oh, man, are you gonna have sex with this girl, Anders?
那是当然
Oh, yeah.
"雄"伟哦 - 好的
Man-ufique. - Nice.
这肯定违规了
Oh, okay, that's definitely illegal.
这不错 - 即将到站的是 阴♥道♥
That was good. - Countdown to vagina town.
好样的 - 不错啊
Yeah, baby! - All right.
我顺便把后面也给洗了
I also washed my rear end
以防万一等等得上镜
in case I got to take that picture later.
你洗了啊
Wow. You did that.
好样的
Awesome. Great.
必须的 - 这谁的手♥机♥挺酷的
Very cool. - Whose phone is that? That's cool.
谢谢Vanessa的
Oh, thanks. It's Vanessa's actually.
她刚收到你一条短♥信♥
She just got a text from you.
好奇怪啊
That's kind of weird.
转发给 所有联♥系♥人
Forward to...select all contacts.
发送
And send.
Vannessa 多谢了
Vanessa, thanks for the phone.
希望你喜欢新壁纸
Enjoy your new wallpaper.
他的 他的鸡鸡
That's his. That's his dick.
就这个
Right here.
你那个幻想中的奶头
The nipple of your dreams
其实是我的奶头你的恶梦
is actually my nipple of your nightmares.
是它吧
Oh, right? Yeah.
好尴尬 - 一点都不有趣
Oh, that's embarrassing. - This isn't funny.
有很奇怪的阴影
There was a weird shadow.
厕所的灯光很奇怪
The lighting in the bathroom is strange.
你等等准备怎么下去啊
Guys. Dude, how are you gonna get down from the roof?
得要烂醉了 - 这不是
You're gonna be hammered. - So this is
我的朋友们嘛
where my friends are.
快看这谁啊
Hey, look who it is.
这不是大屌♥君吗
It's dick-tembe mutombo.
快看这谁啊 这不是...
Look who it is. It's...
你的屌♥也太黑了吧
Your dick is so tan, bro!
不好笑 - 你不喜欢这个吗
No. - No? You didn't like that one?
当一个人已经倒下了你们还在攻击他
You know, when you kick a dude and he's already down,
他八成不会跟你们分享麻烟了
he's not likely to share his blunt with you.
你不抽的啊
You don't smoke.
刚从个姑娘那买♥♥的
I just bought this from a girl,
我决定今晚抽
and I'm smoking it tonight.
你会跟我们一起抽的吧
You're gonna smoke with us, right?
不用啊
I don't have to.
伙计 你得感谢我们啊
Dude, you should be thanking us
要不是我们 那些超辣的妞
because, without us, all of those super hot chicks
没可能见到你的...
wouldn't have seen your...
大黑屌♥
Tan dick.
对啊 我刚听见一个女生说起你呢
Yeah, I heard a girl down there talking about you, man.
从某种意义上来说你也算上了三垒
It's basically like you're rounding third base
攻向本垒了
headed for home.
慢着 是Vanessa吗
Wait, was it Vanessa?
她有纹身 我最近很喜欢这款
She's got tattoos, man. I'm into that lately.
来了
Oh, here we go.
主要是因为墨...
There's something about ink...
沾屎的钱 里面有屎
Poop dollar! There's poop in it!
钱里有屎
There's poop in the dollar!
好了 这次是谁的屎
All right, whose poop this time?
Adam的 - 恶心
Oh, that's all Adam. - Gross.
我居然一点没感觉害羞
It's weird how unembarrassed I am by that.
来吧 伙计们 今天可是星期天
Come on, guys. This is a Sunday fun day.
浪起来吧
Let's get... Crazy!
好
Oh, yeah.
不错
Cool.
现在是一大清早
It's early in the morning.
我才不要吃意大利辣肠披萨
I'm not gonna eat a pepperoni pizza.
这种肥料
This is the kind of fertilizer...
你不用铺很厚一层
You don't want to lay down a thick layer.
我知道你在泡澡
I understand that you're in the bathtub,
如果你能起来 擦干身子...
and if you could just get out, dry yourself off...
你们不怕吗
Are you guys freaking out?
现在有点 Jillian
Okay, now I am, Jillian.
冷静点
Why don't you chill out?
抱歉 只是你们几个看上去完全不像
Sorry, it's just you guys don't at all look ready
可以应付今天的药检
for the drug test today.
等等 今天有药检
Wait, there's a drug test today?
对啊 我也吓坏了
Yeah, I know. I'm freaking out too.
昨晚 我和我侄子Dennis一起去
Last night I went to the Justin bieber concert
Justin Bieber的演唱会 有个人抽了大♥麻♥
with my nephew Dennis, and this guy was smoking weed
就在我们旁边
right next to us.
吓坏我了
Totally freaked me out.
你知道还有什么吓到我了吗
Hey, you know what else freaked me out?
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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