工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S04E02
Part 2
June 29, 2021, 8:45 a.m.
像骑马舞一样伺候她的屁♥股♥ 对吧
to womp her ass gangnam style, right?
然后 我们随时都能炸鱼了
Then, we'll be fryin' fish in no time.
噢 老兄 干得漂亮 我们懂女人
Oh, dude, nice. We know chicks.
是的 我们太懂女人了
Yeah, well, we do know chicks.
但是我觉得我们不用雇人
But I don't think we need to hire anyone...
不 我们要雇 - 因为我就是坨包装好的肉
No, we do. - Because I am packin' meat.
这里有很大一坨肉 就像一整盘熟食拼盘
Serious meat down here. It's like a whole deli platter.
而且是罕见的冷却肉
It's like rare cool meat.
就像那种很长的肉
It's like that one really long meat
里面带橄榄的那种
with like olives in it.
嘿 那个叫什么来着 - 老兄
Hey, what is that called? - Dude.
你不想那么做的 老兄
You don't wanna do that, man.
你不能用你的笔
You can't dip your pen
蘸公♥司♥的臭水 我的兄弟
in company stink, my brother.
皮门托肉♥棒♥
Pimento loaf.
我们能不能同一时间
Can we just all keep it real
一起面对现实
at the exact same moment here?
你没有肉♥棒♥
You don't have a loaf,
但那恰恰是她需要的
and that's exactly what she needs.
好吧 你想看一看吗
All right, you wanna see it?
接着说啊 你想看吗
You keep talkin' about it. You wanna see it?
我不想看
I don't wanna see it.
好吧 怎么样了
But sure, what's up?
你把它弄得太热了
You're warmin' it up too much.
我不想看它变硬
I don't wanna see it hard.
我想看它软的时候什么样
I wanna see it soft.
加油啊 噢
Come on. Oh.
嗯
Mm.
不行
Nah.
呃 你是 Frank - 嗯
Okay, uh, Frank? - Yeah.
你有鸡鸡的照片吗 - 我当然有
Do you have a dick pic? - I do indeed.
给我吧 - 我看看
I'll take that. - Let's see it.
哦 来吧
Ooh, here we go.
噢 交给我吧
Oh, we'll take that.
哦 哇 真是好屌♥啊
Oh, wow. That is a wonderful dong.
别人都叫我剑齿虎 一种混血老虎
I am referred to as kind of a sabertooth, hybrid tiger.
他们都这么说我 - 噢 天哪
That's what they all say. - Oh, holy smokes.
这里说你上过一个茱莉亚音乐学院的妞
It says here you had sex with a chick at Juilliard?
噢 很不错嘛 - 没什么了不起的
Ooh, impressive. - Not that impressive.
我还和一个叫茱莉的女孩在院子里搞过呢
I've had sex with a girl named Julie in a yard.
这是个一流的鸡鸡
This is a stellar prick.
如果它很狂野 我就把它抓起来
And if it's wild, I'll grab it.
嘭 就像泰山
Boom, Tarzan.
你有没有和同时两个女人做过
Have you ever had sex with two women at once?
有过 - 你肛♥交♥过吗
Yeah. - And have you ever buttfucked?
是的 - 你要明白
Yeah. - What you need to understand
我们懂女人
is that we know chicks.
我们很懂女人
We know chicks.
很显然你不懂女人
You obviously don't know chicks.
我才懂女人 好吗 她们喜欢被
I know chicks, okay? They like to be...
我们一共和
Collectively, we've had sex
17个不同的女人上过床
with 17 different women.
其中6个是我的
Six of those women are all mine,
上过床盖过章
bagged and tagged.
我这可是上了两位数的 所以
Yeah, double digits over here, so...
11000块 - 嘿 我说
11,000. - Uh, you know what?
我真的觉得这不行
I can already tell that this isn't gonna be a great thing.
谢谢您来 还是算了
Thanks for comin' in, but no thanks
因为我们才懂姑娘 - 你不懂
'cause we know chicks. - Wait, not you.
还是以后再说吧
We'll let you know.
你上啊上
And you're goin' for it, and you're goin' for it.
然后你再转啊转
And then, you just figure-eight it.
今天可真是浪费了一天时间
Well, today's been a whole waste of time.
好吧 我上
Fine, I'll do it.
我去把Alice干回正常
I'll be the one that sexes Alice back to normal
Blake就能炸鱼了
So Blake can have his fish fried.
谢谢啊 但是 - 好朋友该做的
I appreciate that, man, but... - I'm just a good friend.
我们能想出些别的的 - 我刚说了 我上
We'll think of something. - I just said, "I'll do it."
请问这是 嗨
Is this the... hi.
不好意思迟到了
Sorry, I'm late, I-the freeway is just
高速公路就跟停车场似的
a darn parking lot out there.
我叫Girthquake
Girthquake's the name.
好吧 你怎么
Okay, um, what are you,
刚送完垃圾吗 Girthquake
fresh off your garbage route, Girthquake?
因为他拿着个垃圾袋啊哈哈
'Cause he has a garbage bag.
哦
Oh.
不啊 我只是 我带了点行头
No, I-I just... I brought some outfits.
我以前是个脱衣舞男 所以我有好多不同装扮
I was a stripper, so I have a lot of different looks
我能在这里换一些给你们看
I can try out for you, and...
你都不是专业的
you're not even a pro.
滚啦
Get lost.
广♥告♥上清楚的写着
The ad clearly stated
仅招职业男妓
professional man-whores only.
好吧 对不起 浪费了你们的时间
Okay, I'm sorry to waste your time.
本来就不该来的
It was stupid for me to come anyway.
嘁 - 再见
Jesus. - Bye-bye.
一路顺风
Have a good one.
啊你忘了拿你的
Oh, and, uh, you forgot your, uh...
快打电♥话♥给天堂
somebody call heaven.
天使的鸡鸡掉下来了
They're missin' an angel's dick.
Girthquake等等 -嘿兄弟
Uh, Girthquake, wait. - Hey, buddy.
嘿 - 喂喂喂
Hey... - whoa, oh, oh.
别走 我们决定雇你了
Do not leave. You got the job.
什么意思 为什么 - 你的鸡鸡
What do you mean? How? - Your dick.
太长了
It goes so far away from your body.
哇 - 天啊
Holy cow. - Oh, my God.
太感谢了 谢谢
Thank you so much, thank you.
你们不会后悔的
You... you won't regret this.
你们太对了
You... you made a good decision.
你们在逗我吗
Are you kidding me right now?
我比他像男妓多了
I'm way more of a gigolo than he is.
我小时候 有个老头给我5块钱
When I was a kid, I was paid $5
让我拉在一个比萨盒里
by an old man to poop in a pizza box.
那才是真的婊
Now, that is gigolo-ing.
那才是真的婊
Now, that is gigolo-ing!
准备好了吗
Is it ready?
需不需要上上弦之类的
Do you need to torque up or anything?
准备好了准备好了
He's ready, though. He's ready.
嗨 Jillian
Hey, pardon me, Jillian.
我来给Alice Murphy小姐送牛奶了
I've got a milk delivery for miss Alice Murphy.
不好意思 她去比利安酒吧了
Oh, I'm sorry, guys, she went
特♥价♥酒水时间
to happy hour at Billian's.
咦 跟我名字押韵诶
Hey, that rhymes with my name.
以前从来没注意到呢
I never realized that before.
我该去一去
I should go there.
哎呀 Girth 你以前有没有
Shoot, uh, well, Girth, is there any chance
在酒吧约到过女孩子
you've ever picked a girl up at a bar?
当然了 - 噢我们也是
Yes, of course. - So have we, you know?
我们可懂姑娘了 - 那是
'Cause we know chicks, okay? - Yeah.
那咱走吧 - 好啊
So, uh, let's go. - All right.
去比利安 - 去 去酒吧
To Billian's. - To... to the bar.
你确定吗
Are you serious?
*你相信真爱吗*
*Do you believe in true love*
*哪里来的歌♥声*
*Where is that comin' from*
这里 这里 - Adam
Right over here, right over here. - Hi, adam.
你 - 我怎么
Do you? - Do I what?
相信真爱吗
Believe in true love?
呃 我相信 - 太好了
Well, I believe... - that is awesome.
所以你会帮我闯进Alice的办公室
So you'll help me break into Alice's office
让她看清自己有多么爱我
so that she can finally see how much she true loves me,
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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